IHC's Psychic Hotline

[IhateClowns]

Yes you can go ahead and ask...I can see you thinking about it...I told you I am psychic.

I helped a Schnauzer with a self esteem issues earlier today. He doesn't like his mustache. I had to explain that using the line, wanna mustache ride will get him all the bitches.

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

Go on then....hit me with it....no not the thing in your tights ....what does MY future have in store for me oh psychic one?

And can I sue if you are wrong/right depending on whether I like your prediction?

 

[IhateClowns]

Go on then....hit me with it....no not the thing in your tights ....what does MY future have in store for me oh psychic one?

And can I sue if you are wrong/right depending on whether I like your prediction?

Things are a bit fuzzy since I haven't received cash from you yet. Let me light a candle and tear the wings of this bat.

Hmmmmm ok. Let's see. I see a thigh, a breast, one pussy lip and a baked potato. I see a Monopoly car game piece and an 8 track Fleetwood Mac tape. There is a little dog barking, I see it being a dachshund. I also see a little one on a horse.

With some cash I could tell you what it all means.

 

[JSensei]

I am planning on watchin 30 minutes or less today. Will it be any good?

 

[thesweetsweetness]

Made a big decision and putting into action today.

I'm very upset about it, but the situation is upsetting to me any way you look at it.

Did I make the right decision?

 

[IhateClowns]

I am planning on watchin 30 minutes or less today. Will it be any good?

Yes. Toddlers and Tiaras is as compelling a TV show as there ever has been. Watching large unnattractive women spend 10's of thousands of dollars of their hourly waged hard working husband's income on their 3 year old daughter is so sweet. Especially women the little girls have these looks of horror as their moms scream at the to fucking hold still as the fake tanner is being sprayed all over them.

Just wait 20 years because these lovely girls will have some for of cancer from the pesticides they are inhaling on a daily basis.

 

[IhateClowns]

Made a big decision and putting into action today.

I'm very upset about it, but the situation is upsetting to me any way you look at it.

Did I make the right decision?

Absolutely you did. Switching to a thong can be a bit aggravating at first, but you will get used to it. Right now I see you walking around while doing a lot of ass digging. I know you look around before you pick, but people still see you doing it. Ever wonder why you are the only person in the produce section all the time? Stop picking your ass. You made the right decision the thong is the way to go.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

Should I do it?

 

[IhateClowns]

Should I do it?

Without a doubt yes. Just remember that it requires D batteries and since I see an everlasting smile on your face might I suggest a Sams Club membership for battery purchases. Oh and might want to invest in a wrist guard now as a see you vibrator wrist in your future.

 

[thesweetsweetness]

Absolutely you did. Switching to a thong can be a bit aggravating at first, but you will get used to it. Right now I see you walking around while doing a lot of ass digging. I know you look around before you pick, but people still see you doing it. Ever wonder why you are the only person in the produce section all the time? Stop picking your ass. You made the right decision the thong is the way to go.

LMAO.. Thank you for the laugh.


I needed to hear those first three words though, so thank you.

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

Things are a bit fuzzy since I haven't received cash from you yet. Let me light a candle and tear the wings of this bat.

Hmmmmm ok. Let's see. I see a thigh, a breast, one pussy lip and a baked potato. I see a Monopoly car game piece and an 8 track Fleetwood Mac tape. There is a little dog barking, I see it being a dachshund. I also see a little one on a horse.

With some cash I could tell you what it all means.

How much cash are we talking about? I mean....you are so nearly spot on...do I have to sell my house? A kidney? Or just the 8 track tape?

You're my only hope.......

 

[fieldmeister68]

Dear IHC,

This is a pressing matter so I have sent DOUBLE the normal fee, for a quick, accurate response. I will be travelling over nine hundred miles in a couple of weeks to attend my 25th high school reunion. What will be in store for me that night or for the the entire weekend in general. (staying at mom's )

PS I sent the ADDITIONAL $20 to have the crystal ball cleaned up nice

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

Dear IHC,

This is a pressing matter so I have sent DOUBLE the normal fee, for a quick, accurate response. I will be travelling over nine hundred miles in a couple of weeks to attend my 25th high school reunion. What will be in store for me that night or for the the entire weekend in general. (staying at mom's )

PS I sent the ADDITIONAL $20 to have the crystal ball cleaned up nice

I'm not psychic but I recommend a winning smile and penicillin

 

[IhateClowns]

How much cash are we talking about? I mean....you are so nearly spot on...do I have to sell my house? A kidney? Or just the 8 track tape?

You're my only hope.......

My fee is only 39.99 a minute. For you I will cut a deal. 39.98 a minute. It is a discount I only give my family. Please realize that if you sell your home you could have me for an entire day to answer any questions you might have about the other side. I do speak to dead people all the time. They are here amongst us. They say Bitches be crazy yo.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear IHC,

This is a pressing matter so I have sent DOUBLE the normal fee, for a quick, accurate response. I will be travelling over nine hundred miles in a couple of weeks to attend my 25th high school reunion. What will be in store for me that night or for the the entire weekend in general. (staying at mom's )

PS I sent the ADDITIONAL $20 to have the crystal ball cleaned up nice

Your contribution to my cause is greatly appreciated. What you look forward to is what everyone does. The cool kids are dorks now and you question why you ever looked up to them. The star QB has a beer gut and relives every TD pass he ever threw in HS while bitching about the college coach he was going to play for, but decided to quit because the guy had it in for him. When in actuality he showed up to training camp lazy and no one liked him.

The hot chick in your class has 4 kids my 3 different dads. Still think she looks great, wears clothes that don't fit her and although she still has a cute smile you can see the years have not been kind to her.

You will have the guy who gets everly drunk to make fun of. The overbearing girl who wants to be everyones friend just so she can add you to her facebook page to pad her numbers.

I see you sitting in a chair, drinking a beer while shaking your head and making fun of people. Really sounds like a perfect evening to me.

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

My fee is only 39.99 a minute. For you I will cut a deal. 39.98 a minute. It is a discount I only give my family. Please realize that if you sell your home you could have me for an entire day to answer any questions you might have about the other side. I do speak to dead people all the time. They are here amongst us. They say Bitches be crazy yo.

You mean I have to pay you AND spend the entire day with you?

I'm suspicious, my left buttock twitches when something is amiss.

I often thought that about this place.........

 

[Opedia]

Will my boyfriend cum in November?

 

[IhateClowns]

You mean I have to pay you AND spend the entire day with you?

I'm suspicious, my left buttock twitches when something is amiss.

I often thought that about this place.........

Your left buttock twitches? That is funny because my right kidney gets inflamed when I smell bullshit.

Hmmm something is amiss

 

[IhateClowns]

Will my boyfriend cum in November?

Yes he is going to come and he is going to cum gallons. Make sure he drinks plenty of water as I see a bukkake video. Wouldn't want him to pass out from dehydration. Cumming too much not only makes me n walk funny but we start seeing cartoon characters due to the lack of hydration.

Turns from a goopy mess into milky water, then to blood. Just don't hurt him

 

[tenderlily]

Hi Clowns,

Am I going to have a great night tonight?

 

[IhateClowns]

Hi Clowns,

Am I going to have a great night tonight?

I see some sort of discussion being had. Pretty blurry so I am unsure of the gender but I see you having a grea Sunday evening. Plus you have great TV on with True Blood, Entourage, and that ever so popular MOVE THAT BUS! show.

I can see EVERYONE having a great night tonight. Not just you. Quit being so greedy.

 

[tenderlily]

I see some sort of discussion being had. Pretty blurry so I am unsure of the gender but I see you having a great Sunday evening. Plus you have great TV on with True Blood, Entourage, and that ever so popular MOVE THAT BUS! show.

I can see EVERYONE having a great night tonight. Not just you. Quit being so greedy.

I will quit the greediness tout de suite. Thank you Clowns, short on cash but boob pics are in the mail.

 

[IhateClowns]

I will quit the greediness tout de suite. Thank you Clowns, short on cash but boob pics are in the mail.

You shouldn't tease a psychic because I will tell you what the opposite is going to happen just so you anticpate and get let down )

 

[JSensei]

I will quit the greediness tout de suite. Thank you Clowns, short on cash but boob pics are in the mail.

We can pay you in boob pics? Great! I'll send you a picture of my chest posthaste.

Will I have to go into work on Tuesday or will I finish up tomorrow?

 

[IhateClowns]

We can pay you in boob pics? Great! I'll send you a picture of my chest posthaste.

Will I have to go into work on Tuesday or will I finish up tomorrow?

You ill finish up tomorrow. You will have to work late to make it happen but you will finish tomorrow.

As for male tit shot I see it this way. If you have a penis I have no desire to see your chest. If you have a penis and require a bro, then you need to mix in more salads beween fried chicken