Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You

[naughty_stories]

So my doctor says I need more exercise. Care to go horizontal dancing with me. You'll be saving my life.

 

[crazychemgirl]

can I tell you about the story where I farted in public … it’s sexy, I swear!

 

[base10]

can I tell you about the story where I farted in public … it’s sexy, I swear!

Don't tell me about it, I want to smell it

 

[Tallulah82]

Don't tell me about it, I want to smell it

Nice tie. I gave my ex a similar one and he let me tie it for him. You know, like in that Pretty Woman scene? It tied really nice. Very strong. It took his breath away...

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cummer.

 

[cactusjack0584]

Is that a rotten banana in your pants, or is that your natural smell

 

[Chloe_Harper]

Oh, I didn't know a prick could be so attractive.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Oh, I didn't know a prick could be so attractive.

It dresses up real nice. Would you help me put on this tuxedo on it? It velcroes in the back

 

[cactusjack0584]

It dresses up real nice. Would you help me put on this tuxedo on it? It velcroes in the back

Wearing just a tuxedo… on your penis… isn’t appropriate for a black tie affair…

 

[Masters_slutpussy]

I was going to take you to the movies but they said I couldn't bring my own snack.

 

[kathyisgr65]

I was going to take you to the movies but they said I couldn't bring my own snack.

Diabetic...

 

[Grant55]

Diabetic...

The sauce I make doesn't contain sugar. Let me show you how...

 

[kathyisgr65]

The sauce I make doesn't contain sugar. Let me show you how...

U just lost a stalker if ur talking about steak sauce

 

[Grant55]

U just lost a stalker if ur talking about steak sauce

Marinara sauce

 

[kathyisgr65]

Marinara sauce

Hey baby

 

[mnbreastluver]

Pick a number between 1 and 10. Sorry you lost, you’ll have to take off all your clothes.

 

[Saltfountain]

Pick a number between 1 and 10...

Oh damn, that was the one. Ummmm OK. Keep your clothes on...

 

[XShadynzX]

May I lick? Ugh.. sorry that's just too salty for me..

 

[Saltfountain]

Sorry, that's never happened to me before. 10 seconds is a personal record

 

[KinkyLaughs]

Hi... How it's going?

 

[Saltfountain]

Hi... How it's going?

Oh god, so badly. Let me tell you all about it

 

[Sunlover101]

Gosh I don't normally say this to guys but you are kinda hot.
Got any sisters?

 

[bobb_sledd]

Shirts or skins?

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Shirts or skins?

I have enough of my own skin. But I won’t say no to a food shirt.

 

[Bry1313]

I have enough of my own skin. But I won’t say no to a food shirt.

You get me so hot I can’t help but queef