Is Romance Important to You or Is it All About the sex?

[Mo_Bandy]

Dude obviously romance is super important. I always buy dinner. You gotta be well fed before knocking them boots.

 

[Filipinawife]

Dude obviously romance is super important. I always buy dinner. You gotta be well fed before knocking them boots.

Buy
Me dinner?

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Buy
Me dinner?

Sure. Well, maybe.

 

[Misshotndeep]

Romance good!

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

If your romantic styles don't match up though, be careful, or you can find yourself in the position of having to do something you don't like doing, which is the secret ingredient of resentment.

When you hear tales of couples where "the romance dies" it usually tracks back to the romantic thing being unsustainable by the other person because they didn't like it in the first place, so once the relationship has advanced a few months or years they find an excuse to stop doing it.

An example I can give is I had a friend whose partner loved to dance. He could dance, but it wasn't his go to. Consequently, a few years into the relationship the dancing tapered off and stopped as he always had an excuse. They hung on for a while longer, then had a messy and painful breakup. The lesson - don't pretend to love something just because you think it'll further a relationship. Either fess up right away and find some other mutual romantic thing, or learn to love it.

Fully agree from my experience. Honest communication and consent are important.

 

[English_guy_bkk]

Definitely romance, I'd purchase a 'large fish and chips,' on a Friday night out.

 

[oldsoul24]

To me, the build up, the conversation leading up to, is so incredibly important for me and makes an experience incredibly more intense and intimate

 

[Inthesewalls]

Fuck the romance.

For me I think romance is part of the friendship? Like you have to know someone to really know what touches them or makes them happy. You also have to care enough and have enough of a connection to both feel something from it. Does that make sense? Like of course theres friendship thats the basis of what romance builds off of. But its like that extra step that your person takes to say they were thinking extra of you that day. It doesnt always have to be grand. Sometimes the small thing they do cause they know or get you so well is the most romantic. Imho of course.

"Paying attention to things — it's how we show love." - Frank, TLOU

And isnt that part of friendship too?

 

[Inthesewalls]

yeah well fuck the friendship thing too..Sorry am just in a shitty mood and I probably shouldn't post when I feel this way. Sorry

Ha well sending you some hugs and warmth. I know that feeling well too. People are...frustrating and terrible sometimes.

 

[Paul_Chance]

For me I think romance is part of the friendship? Like you have to know someone to really know what touches them or makes them happy. You also have to care enough and have enough of a connection to both feel something from it. Does that make sense? Like of course theres friendship thats the basis of what romance builds off of. But its like that extra step that your person takes to say they were thinking extra of you that day. It doesnt always have to be grand. Sometimes the small thing they do cause they know or get you so well is the most romantic. Imho of course.

"Paying attention to things — it's how we show love." - Frank, TLOU

And isnt that part of friendship too?

I agree. I think every good romance begins on a firm foundation of friendship - and then with that romance the small gestures have an outsized impact.

 

[Dribble]

This^^

 

[Grant55]

 

[Chillygirl]

I love romance but I’ve found that with online interactions I kind of have to push that to the back so I can realistically manage my expectations. It’s too easy to get carried away.

 

[Mrtenant]

Well, what is romance without a little sax?

Gimme some a dat Kenny G and lets get our groove on.

 

[Grant55]

Romance would be ideal, but I do value an intellectual connection. It's very difficult to find it, which is probably part of the reason why I am ever so alone.

Having intellect can be very attractive. I truly hope that you can find someone who provides you with what your looking for.

 

[Anastasia1999]

Romance is worth nothing if he doesn’t have any money in the bank to fund my lavish lifestyle

 

[Strixaluco]

Romance would be ideal, but I do value an intellectual connection. It's very difficult to find it, which is probably part of the reason why I am ever so alone.

I find that having an intellectual connection can very well be part of the romance.

But yes, finding someone with whom you have it, is a challenge. Sometimes even for friendship purposes, where you don't need to have any physical attraction etc.

 

[Strixaluco]

Need one preclude the other? The wisest person I know on Lit also happens to do romance just perfectly too

There's no guarantee the 2 wisest persons in a group find any intellectual connection between themselves.

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

Romance would be ideal, but I do value an intellectual connection. It's very difficult to find it, which is probably part of the reason why I am ever so alone.

I have been trying to find both as I am a vintage romantic. I have found the intellectual in my real, non-virtual, life but not sure yet about the romance. Best wishes in your search.

 

[Dcharger]

Personally, I like to romance a woman. I think that's fun and the best part. Hard thing tho is I don't have a lot of money so that makes it hard. Many times, it's just a one way street. Where I live, the women date guys by the cars they drive. Women sure are stuck up and snobby here. Where I work, kids drive nicer cars then the staff members do. It's crazy.

 

[Grant55]

Romance is worth nothing if he doesn’t have any money in the bank to fund my lavish lifestyle

Seems to me that your the one with the money, my dear. I think I saw a post about someone getting a bonus.

 

[Inthesewalls]

Personally, I like to romance a woman. I think that's fun and the best part. Hard thing tho is I don't have a lot of money so that makes it hard. Many times, it's just a one way street. Where I live, the women date guys by the cars they drive. Women sure are stuck up and snobby here. Where I work, kids drive nicer cars then the staff members do. It's crazy.

Respectfully, romance doesnt have to include money at all. And yes , there are certainly woman who look for money but is that a value that fits with you? Romance can be as simple as like cooking her a meal to share or bringing her a coffee when you know she's down. Personally, I find it more romantic when someone does something from their heart as opposed to like anything fancy. Its about knowing that person, paying attention enough to know what it is that will touch them.

 

[Dcharger]

Respectfully, romance doesnt have to include money at all. And yes , there are certainly woman who look for money but is that a value that fits with you? Romance can be as simple as like cooking her a meal to share or bringing her a coffee when you know she's down. Personally, I find it more romantic when someone does something from their heart as opposed to like anything fancy. Its about knowing that person, paying attention enough to know what it is that will touch them.

and those are things I look for. Trying to look outside the box stuff. Don't bring flowers on V-day but buy flowers on 3/3/23 just because it's Fri-YAY!!! My luck has it that I find those money hungry women (Just my luck). 2 women I've come across wouldn't date me cause I was 18, or 24 months younger then their were.

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

Knowing the "love language" of your romantic interest is important to creating the romance. For my dearly departed lovely wife, romance began with hand written notes and words affirming my love for her. For me, my language was acts of service, so I adjusted to be more verbal and written words especially poetry for her. Money is important but not as much as knowing what she finds romantic.

 

[Dcharger]

Knowing the "love language" of your romantic interest is important to creating the romance. For my dearly departed lovely wife, romance began with hand written notes and words affirming my love for her. For me, my language was acts of service, so I adjusted to be more verbal and written words especially poetry for her. Money is important but not as much as knowing what she finds romantic.

That's so sweet. Nicely done.