erotica_n_s
Really Really Experienced
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- Jan 5, 2010
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.
Wish you strength at this difficult time.
.
Wish you strength at this difficult time.
.
Last edited:
It's so complicated I don't know what to ask!
- Thread starter themilf
- Start date
pplwatching
Full grown man
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- Jul 4, 2003
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I wish you comfort during this difficult time. I hope that your father's transition is peaceful. All the best.
Franglais71
Literotica Guru
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- Jan 4, 2006
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All my best wishes to you and your family in these difficult and painful times.
Keep strong, I know it is easier said then done,
L.
Keep strong, I know it is easier said then done,
L.
kellyz_craic
Experienced
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- Apr 5, 2012
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Totally agree with this. He's told you exactly what you mean to him with his behaviour and actions speak louder than words or texts. I know it's going to feel like a waste of nine years but that's no reason to squander another second on this fraction of a man. I know you shouldn't make big decisions right now but I really hope you don't let him worm his way back with a bunch of flowers and a half hearted apology when you're lonely and grieving.
You deserve much better.
Your father would want much better for you.
themilf
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2007
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- 186
You are SO right!!!!
Wow thank you! There is absolutely NOTHING he can do to make it OK now. There isn't time to entertain the thought of him. And I have read over and over your last two lines. And you are so absolutely correct.
I DO deserve better. And you know in the back of my mind, I feel he'll get what he deserves as well. But I wont waste another
single
thought
on him.
And Dad hangs on. God bless Him.
Wow thank you! There is absolutely NOTHING he can do to make it OK now. There isn't time to entertain the thought of him. And I have read over and over your last two lines. And you are so absolutely correct.
I DO deserve better. And you know in the back of my mind, I feel he'll get what he deserves as well. But I wont waste another
single
thought
on him.
And Dad hangs on. God bless Him.
kellyz_craic
Experienced
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- Apr 5, 2012
- Posts
- 89
I hope his passing is peaceful. Many people don't get to say their goodbyes. In time when this is all less raw, you will be able to cherish this time you had with him as well as the good, happy memories.
themilf
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2007
- Posts
- 186
Good Morning, my friends!
I feel so incredibly blessed and fortunate to have been holding my Father's hand when at 1:15 this morning, he breathed his last breath surrounded by all of his daughters and 2 of his granddaughters (my girls). He passed quietly, peacefully and comfortably and hopefully has been reunited with Mom.
Thanks for all of your positive thoughts, prayers and support. It was exactly a month ago today that he was admitted to the hospital. While he suffered so very much, thankfully he didn't suffer for long.
I feel so incredibly blessed and fortunate to have been holding my Father's hand when at 1:15 this morning, he breathed his last breath surrounded by all of his daughters and 2 of his granddaughters (my girls). He passed quietly, peacefully and comfortably and hopefully has been reunited with Mom.
Thanks for all of your positive thoughts, prayers and support. It was exactly a month ago today that he was admitted to the hospital. While he suffered so very much, thankfully he didn't suffer for long.
pplwatching
Full grown man
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- Jul 4, 2003
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I'm sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like your father was blessed with a loving family. All the best to you in your time of grief.
SweetErika
Fingers Crossed
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2004
- Posts
- 13,442
Aw, I'm so sorry for your loss!
Having a loved one pass is never a good experience, but it seems like it was as good as it could be for your dad, you and your family. You're right, it's an immense blessing to have time to say goodbye and support a loved one as they let go peacefully and comfortably. I hope that gives you a great deal of solace as you continue to move through the grief process, and it sounds like you have a wonderful support system to help you work through it.
Let us know if you need anything at all!
box13
Write to...
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2012
- Posts
- 468
Very sad day
I'm very sorry for your loss, both to you and your family. I hope that you have some good memories and can draw upon those when you need strength to keep going moment by moment, and day by day. I hope that when the time comes that you can also find the relationship that you desire and no doubt deserve.
Blessings...
I'm very sorry for your loss, both to you and your family. I hope that you have some good memories and can draw upon those when you need strength to keep going moment by moment, and day by day. I hope that when the time comes that you can also find the relationship that you desire and no doubt deserve.
Blessings...
chipcarver
Really Really Experienced
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- Aug 7, 2011
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- 309
Sorry for your loss. I know what it's like to loose one so dear to you. Wish I could be there to offer you a friendly hug and a shoulder to cry on. My wife says I am pretty good at that and have soft shoulders to catch tears.
bailadora
We create the dreams.
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2007
- Posts
- 3,855
I, too, am sorry to hear of your loss. Knowing it's coming doesn't make it any easier to bear. I am glad, however, that he was surrounded by his loved ones. I'm sure it meant the world to all of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
themilf
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2007
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Thank you all again, so much
I wanted to jump on and tell you again how very comforted I was and really, continue to be during my Father's illness and subsequent death. It's hard for me to determine what is was that made YOUR words so important to me.
I didn't tell a lot of people around me, only those that HAD to know at work, those in my immediate circles because I guess, I didn't want to be confronted with questions and reminders all the time.
But to come here and come BACK here and see that you guys care enough to be in touch really moves me.
I'll be addressing the "other" part of the original post soon, the adjectives "shallow, selfish, egotistical, mean, narcissistic, self-centered, self-indulgent, self-interested" jump to mind and will undoubtedly make their way into the post. With a lot of "pathological liar" and possibly a mother f***er and SOB thrown in.
When I can write more without interruption and without the bile backing up in my throat, I will tell you what I've found. The cool thing about it is that I know longer feel constant anxiety with regard to HIS lies, his behavior.
But the last thing I want to do is sully a post with regard to my incredible Father with a reference to the ex.
Love, much love and warm thoughts and gratitude to ALL...
I wanted to jump on and tell you again how very comforted I was and really, continue to be during my Father's illness and subsequent death. It's hard for me to determine what is was that made YOUR words so important to me.
I didn't tell a lot of people around me, only those that HAD to know at work, those in my immediate circles because I guess, I didn't want to be confronted with questions and reminders all the time.
But to come here and come BACK here and see that you guys care enough to be in touch really moves me.
I'll be addressing the "other" part of the original post soon, the adjectives "shallow, selfish, egotistical, mean, narcissistic, self-centered, self-indulgent, self-interested" jump to mind and will undoubtedly make their way into the post. With a lot of "pathological liar" and possibly a mother f***er and SOB thrown in.
When I can write more without interruption and without the bile backing up in my throat, I will tell you what I've found. The cool thing about it is that I know longer feel constant anxiety with regard to HIS lies, his behavior.
But the last thing I want to do is sully a post with regard to my incredible Father with a reference to the ex.
Love, much love and warm thoughts and gratitude to ALL...
themilf
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2007
- Posts
- 186
Someday I'll write a book, an expose maybe - sarcasm included at no additional charge
Thank God for a sense of humor, I'm trying to hang on.
I'm doing a ton of stuff today, catching up, catching up, catching up.
The hard part is... that it's so quiet.
I saw "Him" briefly to retrieve the awesome smartphone I'd given him.
He was working but that doesn't mean that he didn't have a few minutes to talk.
And I couldn't bear the bullshit for more than just a few, very few minutes.
He claimed to have absolutely no idea my Father had died and um... didn't offer any KIND of condolences. Gosh how that hurts me. But it says so much about him. So much.
I didn't hang around long and I put the phone away for a couple of days because who knew what I was going to find, right? But I pulled it out when mine was dying the other day to swap batteries. I was careful about exposing myself to too much.
Ahh An AccuWeather App. How innocuous. With the "home" or "favorite" zip code set as the zipcode of the woman that I suspected he might be seeing. Not his home, not his work. Her zipcode. How NOT innocuous.
Well if there was any doubt, right? Actually it was kind of comforting knowing that I'm basically right.
Then... at work on Friday we were told we needed to disclose if we had a LinkedIn profile for compliance reasons. It's cool, I do, I complied and disclosed.
Jumped on LinkedIn yesterday morning to be sure I didn't have anything funky on there (right, on LinkedIn?) and I found you can see who's viewed your profile recently.
Who knew, right? And within THE LAST 24 HOURS the woman I believed he was seeing had viewed my profile on LinkedIn. Now in theory, our paths have never crossed except for when he started texting and calling her whenever it was. So in theory I have absolutely NO IDEA how she'd know my name.
<Insert whatever sentence is appropriate here>
I'm going to vacuum.
Love to all!
Thank God for a sense of humor, I'm trying to hang on.
I'm doing a ton of stuff today, catching up, catching up, catching up.
The hard part is... that it's so quiet.
I saw "Him" briefly to retrieve the awesome smartphone I'd given him.
He was working but that doesn't mean that he didn't have a few minutes to talk.
And I couldn't bear the bullshit for more than just a few, very few minutes.
He claimed to have absolutely no idea my Father had died and um... didn't offer any KIND of condolences. Gosh how that hurts me. But it says so much about him. So much.
I didn't hang around long and I put the phone away for a couple of days because who knew what I was going to find, right? But I pulled it out when mine was dying the other day to swap batteries. I was careful about exposing myself to too much.
Ahh An AccuWeather App. How innocuous. With the "home" or "favorite" zip code set as the zipcode of the woman that I suspected he might be seeing. Not his home, not his work. Her zipcode. How NOT innocuous.
Well if there was any doubt, right? Actually it was kind of comforting knowing that I'm basically right.
Then... at work on Friday we were told we needed to disclose if we had a LinkedIn profile for compliance reasons. It's cool, I do, I complied and disclosed.
Jumped on LinkedIn yesterday morning to be sure I didn't have anything funky on there (right, on LinkedIn?) and I found you can see who's viewed your profile recently.
Who knew, right? And within THE LAST 24 HOURS the woman I believed he was seeing had viewed my profile on LinkedIn. Now in theory, our paths have never crossed except for when he started texting and calling her whenever it was. So in theory I have absolutely NO IDEA how she'd know my name.
<Insert whatever sentence is appropriate here>
I'm going to vacuum.
Love to all!
AudioFilly
Virgin
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2010
- Posts
- 17
Aw, milf, I'm sorry to read about your Dad. As you were posting your first post in this thread I was dealing with the death & funeral of my own Dad.
Reading about your situation makes me very grateful for the support I had around me. My husband who is usually terribly at anything dealing with emotions was a rock & really stepped up. My boyfriend was great at staying in steady & constant contact throughout my Dad's last week in the hospital & through the aftermath. (Yeah, the husband & boyfriend know about each other.)
My only real issues were in dealing with a controlling manipulative older sister. But I was fortunate with the other support around me to pretty much take that in stride.
I'm really sorry that someone you invested so much time in let you down at such a crucial time. My heart goes out to you as you move through this grieving process. How lucky we both were to be with our Dad's at the end.
So from one grieving daughter who just lost her dad to another I'm sending you big hugs from Texas.
Reading about your situation makes me very grateful for the support I had around me. My husband who is usually terribly at anything dealing with emotions was a rock & really stepped up. My boyfriend was great at staying in steady & constant contact throughout my Dad's last week in the hospital & through the aftermath. (Yeah, the husband & boyfriend know about each other.)
My only real issues were in dealing with a controlling manipulative older sister. But I was fortunate with the other support around me to pretty much take that in stride.
I'm really sorry that someone you invested so much time in let you down at such a crucial time. My heart goes out to you as you move through this grieving process. How lucky we both were to be with our Dad's at the end.
So from one grieving daughter who just lost her dad to another I'm sending you big hugs from Texas.
Milf-
May you find some peace and a place to mourn in your own way. I went through the passing of two parents and in both cases it was at a time when it was hard to mourn, not so much with a personal relationship gone south as messes with my family of origin (my mom died 2 months before my son was born, which was really sad, and it triggered directly or indirectly several years of family hell that nearly destroyed my own little family), and when my dad died it was after several years of a tense relationship (we had reconciled before he died, though not with the rest of the 'family', and that still isn't there 12 years after his death), so I know what it is like. It sounds like you got to be there when he passed, which is something I didn't have with both my parents, and hopefully that helps. It isn't going to make your own situation any less painful, dealing with "him" and grieving over you dad, but I can tell you the pain does pass and it also, if my experience holds, is replaced with good memories of the person who has passed,and for the heartbreak, in my case losincontact with my family of origin, a perspective on what happened. My healing energy and prayers go your way
May you find some peace and a place to mourn in your own way. I went through the passing of two parents and in both cases it was at a time when it was hard to mourn, not so much with a personal relationship gone south as messes with my family of origin (my mom died 2 months before my son was born, which was really sad, and it triggered directly or indirectly several years of family hell that nearly destroyed my own little family), and when my dad died it was after several years of a tense relationship (we had reconciled before he died, though not with the rest of the 'family', and that still isn't there 12 years after his death), so I know what it is like. It sounds like you got to be there when he passed, which is something I didn't have with both my parents, and hopefully that helps. It isn't going to make your own situation any less painful, dealing with "him" and grieving over you dad, but I can tell you the pain does pass and it also, if my experience holds, is replaced with good memories of the person who has passed,and for the heartbreak, in my case losincontact with my family of origin, a perspective on what happened. My healing energy and prayers go your way
dman4887
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2011
- Posts
- 320
I'm sorry to hear of your difficult loss recently. I hope you find strength while going through the grieving process.
About the ex, I say do a factory-reset on the phone you got back from him and forget about all of his crap. Put him behind you. No need to let him drag you down any more. Look forward and enjoy the possibilities of a new beginning!
Cheers,
D
About the ex, I say do a factory-reset on the phone you got back from him and forget about all of his crap. Put him behind you. No need to let him drag you down any more. Look forward and enjoy the possibilities of a new beginning!
Cheers,
D
themilf
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2007
- Posts
- 186
They say "living well... is the best revenge"
I wanted to drop by and thank you ALL again for your loving support while I was suffering through the loss of My Father! You comforted me like few others did and it was amazing to find uplifting notes almost every hour, YOU did that for ME! Thank you!
One day SOON I need to sit down and recall and record for posterity my last conversation with Dad but every time I get past the first sentence or two, I get a bit panicky. Anyone have any suggestions on how to get past that? Because one day I'll wish I had remembered all of the nuances, the little things he said as well as the big ones. Of course he'd roll over in his grave if he knew the incidental in-fighting over "things" and the estate. I've said before and I repeat "I didn't have this 'whatever' yesterday and I might not have it tomorrow". I do however wish his house would $ell to make life a little easier and more comfortable but I repeat the last line...
And on the "Living Well" front, who knew THIS would happen? We had a complete management reorg at work and suddenly I'm GOLDEN, they LOVE me! Daily I am being recognized for my gifts and given increased responsibility (which I could have handled all along, it's such a GOOD thing)! What a great feeling. And I've been recommended for a promotion in another department, oh yeah!
Right now though I'm focusing on ME as a "work in progress", hitting the gym again, I met a guy but I'm finding THAT whole thing is just TOO TOO much trouble right now, I don't have the energy or patience to deal with his NEEDS, oh please. Kidding... a little.
It's not that I never will but hey, how will I find someone with whom I can share the intimacy of the prior 9 year relationship? That took a long time to build up to. I mean really, at what point can I look someone in the eye and say "I'm really into this great site, so much so that I wrote a little story in which I fucked a younger guy who came to my house to install a ceiling fan". Because of course, parts of that story are factual and some are not but it's very revealing of who I am deep down. And not incidentally, how will I trust someone again?
I saw SweetErika point out to someone in another post (and I'm paraphrasing) that "OP might not want to find herself a year into a relationship and find that their views" on something really very intimate "don't mesh". And it was at this point that I decided to step back. God bless him, he said he's not into porn. I told him I'm FINE with porn so if he's saying that for my benefit, he needn't. But he explained that "no REALLY" he's not and he seems very inexperienced for someone his age.
I've spent time with a young man who is pretty well educated and gifted/talented and I don't know, do some young men use porn as some kind of primer? I say "God Bless 'Em"!
Thank you all again, hope to chat with you soon!
xoxo
I wanted to drop by and thank you ALL again for your loving support while I was suffering through the loss of My Father! You comforted me like few others did and it was amazing to find uplifting notes almost every hour, YOU did that for ME! Thank you!
One day SOON I need to sit down and recall and record for posterity my last conversation with Dad but every time I get past the first sentence or two, I get a bit panicky. Anyone have any suggestions on how to get past that? Because one day I'll wish I had remembered all of the nuances, the little things he said as well as the big ones. Of course he'd roll over in his grave if he knew the incidental in-fighting over "things" and the estate. I've said before and I repeat "I didn't have this 'whatever' yesterday and I might not have it tomorrow". I do however wish his house would $ell to make life a little easier and more comfortable but I repeat the last line...
And on the "Living Well" front, who knew THIS would happen? We had a complete management reorg at work and suddenly I'm GOLDEN, they LOVE me! Daily I am being recognized for my gifts and given increased responsibility (which I could have handled all along, it's such a GOOD thing)! What a great feeling. And I've been recommended for a promotion in another department, oh yeah!
Right now though I'm focusing on ME as a "work in progress", hitting the gym again, I met a guy but I'm finding THAT whole thing is just TOO TOO much trouble right now, I don't have the energy or patience to deal with his NEEDS, oh please.
Kidding... a little. It's not that I never will but hey, how will I find someone with whom I can share the intimacy of the prior 9 year relationship? That took a long time to build up to. I mean really, at what point can I look someone in the eye and say "I'm really into this great site, so much so that I wrote a little story in which I fucked a younger guy who came to my house to install a ceiling fan". Because of course, parts of that story are factual and some are not but it's very revealing of who I am deep down. And not incidentally, how will I trust someone again?
I saw SweetErika point out to someone in another post (and I'm paraphrasing) that "OP might not want to find herself a year into a relationship and find that their views" on something really very intimate "don't mesh". And it was at this point that I decided to step back. God bless him, he said he's not into porn. I told him I'm FINE with porn so if he's saying that for my benefit, he needn't. But he explained that "no REALLY" he's not and he seems very inexperienced for someone his age.
I've spent time with a young man who is pretty well educated and gifted/talented and I don't know, do some young men use porn as some kind of primer? I say "God Bless 'Em"!
Thank you all again, hope to chat with you soon!
xoxo
Hey themilf
About the loss of your father, please accept my condolences, I know what its like losing someone you love, especially when they are family.
As for the ex you spoke of you are so much better without him. And if the new guy you're seeing gets to the point where he's just not cutting it and you need a pair of shoulders to hook your legs up around, i'm available from sundown to sun up every day but Monday.
(yeah I know its a weak attempt at humor but hey, I tried.)
About the loss of your father, please accept my condolences, I know what its like losing someone you love, especially when they are family.
As for the ex you spoke of you are so much better without him. And if the new guy you're seeing gets to the point where he's just not cutting it and you need a pair of shoulders to hook your legs up around, i'm available from sundown to sun up every day but Monday.
(yeah I know its a weak attempt at humor but hey, I tried.)
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