Ladies - When is a Woman Satisfied??

[LusciousRedLips]

Re: Satisfaction

But equally there are skills for the ladies to learn, like practicing the Keigel exercises found on "Try this and Report Back" thread by Mr GGG.


Don

So true about the Keigel exercises, especially after childbirth.

Squeeze, release, squeeze release.

Squeeze hold hold hold hold hold hold hold hold hold release.

Once you get your muscles developed, squeeze your guy during intercourse. He'll love it.

Another fun trick: next time you are on top, as you slowly thrust, squeeze on the upstroke and release on the downstroke.

Have fun!

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thank you Luscious, for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

heheheheheh You are a very sexy lady Luscious, pleasing your man with what I have found to be an absolutely brain blowing technique. Lucky man!!

In Oz we call knowledge of these skills "Women's Business" for politically incorrect reasons. But regardless of the name, after forty years of a sexual revolution these Keigel skills remain untaught and widely unknown within the general community. Belly dancing, which similarly develops the PC muscles is considered a quaint ethnic exercise in most Anglo-Saxon derived societies. But then as Germaine Greer (Australian born leader of the world sexual revolution) says, Englishmen are most unsatisfying in bed, so the neglect of these skills possibly reflects the cultural imperialism of the British Empire.

Now in the Keigel exercises we have evidence of a mechanism for improving sexual satisfaction for women. This links back to Mr GGGs theory of sex as an expression of birthing. I would add for aware societies, preparation for successful, short duration, minimal pain birthing.

The jigsaw is starting to fit together. Taking the "best possible" scenario route,

1. a girl learns Keigel exercises from her already skilled mother during her youth, probably after menarch,

2. she practices these exercises for her own pleasure with suitors before marriage, in Western societies without cultural inhibitions;

3. once married, she practices on her husband for their mutual pleasure and probable pregnancy;

4. during subsequent child birth she uses her Keigel skills to minimise potential birthing difficulties by having a quick birth;

5. after completinig her family she continues to enjoy practising her Keigel skills.

Put that way it is so logical. So why aren't we teaching women how to train their bodies for sensual pleasures? Back to the old patriarchy thing again. History is littered with stories of men dominated by the pleasures of women - Samson and Delilah is only one example - and losing controlling power of the kingdom. So maintaining the patriarchy is considered more important than the loss of a few women in childbirth - pretty ruthless philosophy.

Now insert Mr GGG's "new" technique for stimulating the A-spot and G-spot - and you have the route for ultimate sensual pleasure. From the many independent reports on the "Try This and Report Back" thread, when this technique is used in appropriate surroundings and a caring relationship, the sensual pleasure is simply overwhelmingly mind blowing for the woman. Sorry guys, we're not built for receiving this much pleasure, only for providing it and vicariuosly enjoying the effects.

But even more damaging to the male ego is the fact that fingers are asexual, so as the lesbian lobby delights in telling us, men may (OK, I know I said may - deliberately - to protect my fragile "male" ego) be irrelevant to non-conceptive pleasuring. This accounts for Mr GGG's lesbian friend relating her experience.

But, in defence of my own fragile male ego, there are many women who enjoy playing with toys, enjoy Mr GGG's technique, but when properly aroused, "nothing beats the real thing"!!!

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

Don

 

[psyche]

Re: Satisfaction

But, in defence of my own fragile male ego, there are many women who enjoy playing with toys, enjoy Mr GGG's technique, but when properly aroused, "nothing beats the real thing"!!!

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

Don

You make many good points in your post Don K Dyck. There is still a very strong influence in the US of religion when it comes to sexuality. We may be taught sex education in school but there is no reference to sexual pleasure. And certainly we are not taught sexual techniques to prolong or accentuate the pleasures of sexual activity. It is still a very taboo topic. We also have a strong religious influence on the number of sexual partners that people have, and we expect that someone will be satisfied with one sexual partner their entire lives. Basically, sex should be for procreation within a marriage. Somedays I think of how much fun it would be if we were a more relaxed society when it comes to sexuality. And no matter how many toys they come up with, men will never be replaced!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Pleasure

It's sad that women today know so little about their own bodies. And most of what they know, is negative. School teaches us all about periods, cramps, contraceptives, child birth, sexual diseases, etc. But they don't mention much about the joys of sex, the techniques for achieving orgasm, etc.

What you said about this being a patriarchic society is true, Dyck, and it's obvious when you regard the fact that women's lubrication is explained in textbooks not as being a woman's way of getting aroused, but as a way of facilitating for the man's entrance. Not even our own reactions are for us! We only exist to be there for men's pleasure.

Who are the real losers in this "game"? The women who are never encouraged to develop into the sexual godesses they could be? Or the men who never get to experience how wonderful those women could have been to be with?

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thank you Psyche and Svenskaflicka for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

I agree Psyche, the US and Oz have a very puritanical social concept of sex, a hang up from our common English heritage. The centuries of peace after 1680 plus the dispossession of working class people by landholders "enclosing" land for wool production over 150 years, destroyed the feudal society, resulted in overpopulation in city slums, the consequential growth of cities as a phenomenon and industrial society as we know it today.

But the politicians have a two faced approach, as recent events have shown. There has to be a better way, and relaxing is sure a good start.

Your points are well made Svenskaflicka. And I'll bet the textbooks are all written by men, or by sensually inexperienced women trying to resolve their own unsatisfying sex lives.

But there would be a social backlash. Here in Oz we had a group of parents who complained that a school was reading "The Diary of Anne Frank" because it wasn't right that children should read about the nasty things that were done in Nazi Germany, and it "wasn't relevant to present Australian life today". When the teachers finished laughing, they realised these poor deluded souls were trying to compensate for their own ego deficiencies.

The losers are all the men who never get to enjoy all the women who never fulfil their potential. Someting perverse there.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

Don

 

[Ladybird]

I've been an avid exponent of Keigel exercises for over 20yrs.

Boy has this helped improve the strength of orgasm for me. I've even found when self pleasuring with a vibe, that by squeezing hard while orgasming increases the pleasure ten fold.

It's sad that women today know so little about their own bodies. And most of what they know, is negative. School teaches us all about periods, cramps, contraceptives, child birth, sexual diseases, etc. But they don't mention much about the joys of sex, the techniques for achieving orgasm, etc.

Svenskaflicka I have a girlfriend who was aghast after her first sexual experiance at how messy it was. Nothing that she'd been told or read prepared her for it. She hated it, so much so that she insisted on condom use.

What a pity that she missed out on one of the great pleasures of sex, simply because she was unprepared.

 

[LusciousRedLips]

thank you

heheheheheh You are a very sexy lady Luscious, pleasing your man with what I have found to be an absolutely brain blowing technique. Lucky man!!

Thank you, Don. Next time I'm in Australia, I'll look you up and we can discuss this in further detail, possibly a demonstration or two.

And thank you, too. This is a great thread. It's amazing the myriad of topics and subtopics that have come about from the simple question, "when is a woman satisfied." It only proves that sexual satisfaction is a complicated matter, involving much more than the release of sexual energy through climax.

 

[cherrylips_au]

Great thread and fantastic answers that have been given so far.
For me it can vary from just knowing my partner has been satisfied to only after multiple orgasms of my own.
I think it depends on the person you are with as sex doesn't have to be the only way to satisfy, sharing intimacy can be just as satisfing.
I think the craving and desire can be fuelled by being satisfied, so that even when you unable to take anymore you may still be left wanting more...not from disatisfaction but from the desire for more.
A total experience that is shared between people.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thank you, Ladybird, Luscious and CherryLips for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

I think that your on the right track with the Keigel Exercises, Ladybird.

Getting biological for a moment. The PC muscles (I'm not going to attempt to spell the anatomical name) are the mechanism of childbirth, they push the foetus out through the birth canal.

Now, any athlete or sportsperson who relies on physical fitness to be successful in their chosen sport will follow a physical training routine to build up their muscle tone and strengthen their muscle systems. The days of natural talent and natural fitness have long passed.

However, for women practising procreation there is little education about either bodily operation or the physical training necessary for childbirth. This is crazy!!! A person attempting to climb Mount Everest follows a rigorous training regime, but somehow society thinks that childbirth is less arduous. Obviously this is NOT on the life plan of men - ask any mother!!

Our initiation into sexual experience is terribly important, yet society prefers ignorance because English derived society is embarrassed. Sadly your friend's experience has been repeated many times.

Oh Luscious, you have hit the nail right on the head!! Sexual satisfaction is far, far more than JUST "the release of sexual energy through through climax". Achieving satisfaction is a very individual, personal thing. But all individuals seem to have a similar set of prerequisites for achieving sexual satisfaction, depending on the circumstances at the time. Part of the fun is adaptiing to the many varied needs for achieving satisfaction.

More sound thinking CherryLips. Intimacy is an important part of the total experience shared between people. It is like the crushed nuts over the chocolate sundae - that little bit extra that makes it that little bit more special. That may be the reason why the most frequent reports of deep satisfaction originate in caring relationships.

Thank you for sharing.

Don

 

[Dragonette]

So right!

I have had quite the sexual history during my many years of wnadering. I've found, now that I'm over 30, a few things.
1) Casual sex just does not do it for me anymore. I need to be with a man that I care about in some form or another. It does not need to be love - but there must be some affection there.
Oh yes, casual is just the act of sex, without the feelings, at the least a togethness is needed, otherwise it is just sex. I want more.

2) I need a man who is totally comfortable with his own sexuality. I want someone who is not afraid to explore, try new things, let me know what he wants.
Agreed, again a togetherness, something special and trust develops. You have to trust to be able to go further, to explore and talk openly.

3) I tend to be a bit shy with speaking my mind - at least for the first little while. So I need a man who is sensitive to sounds and reactions from me, to let him know what he is doing right (or worng). If I breathe heavier, or moan softly, he can tell I'm enjoying it. If I'm quiet or just lying there like a pizza on a table, I'm probably not. (Of course, I'm so damn noisy that it's easier to tell when I'm unnaturally quiet)
I can state things I like in a broad sense, but the more intimate things, until I know him, well as I said, takes time and being comfortabe about it.
I make my sounds, or I can go quiet, as he can, so yes, it takes time to know and show it.

4) It also has to be a man who is mature enough and strong enough to stop if it's uncomfortable. Part of being fairly uninhibited with the person you are with, is the fact that at times it might be painful or just not fun. A man who will not force himself on you at that point, but has enough respect to stop or try it a different way. This also covers what someone else said about just simply being too tired to continue or (very rarely) just not in the mood.
Yes true, when I was married and said 'no' it would be a huge guilt trip. I would try to sleep but I would hear him and feel him toss and turn, this was a man who could fall asleep in the middle of a sentence. Then his hand would touch me, it was easier to give in. Even a cuddle or kiss while I was cooking or doing something meant he wanted it. I never got a kiss or a cuudle just for the sake of that!

All of the above accomplish a few things. One is that I develop the affection and respect needed to truly let myself go and have a good time. When I don't have to worry about whether my stomach looks fat during sex, then I know I am with the right man. It also makes it easier to be completely satisfied - because I know that I am satisfying him and also that he knows and cares about me well enough, that my pleasure is a high priority.
Took me a long, long time to learn that! I am what I am, my beauty is within, what my mirror shows I hate, I still don't like my fat tummy and it won't go away! But I have found that true, real men don't judge us the way we do! We are our own worse critics!
The beauty models of today, lovely slim things, but I have heard most real men want something to cuddle, they judge us by our inner selves, me, I droop, gravity hit years ago! Oh, I wish I was slimmer, perkier etc. I hate my mirror, that reflection is not how I feel!

Right now, I am in a sexual relationship with a man who is just my friend. There is no doubt stronger feelings on both sides, but both of us are too damn chicken to pursue that at the moment. I am totally satisfied walking out the door when I leave him. I also have occasional interludes with another man - and to be frank, while the technical aspects are very good - the emotional part of it is just not there, thus it's not nearly as satisfying as with my friend.
I had someone once, it changed my whole life, it was fate that brought us together, that is a part of my story.
I often wonder if it was good to have known that and lost it, or not have never known it. Yes and no. I want it back, those feelings, him, his voice, eyes, gestures, the little things were so special and the intimate moments were fantastic. I won't call it 'sex' it was more than that, I did not use the term 'making love' because to me, that has to be the physical form of 'love,' and sadly this was not our life to love in.
We said 'play.' That has a gentler meaning.
I do love him and want him, but he has another life to live in this time.

I congratulate you on your words, you have expessed things so very well!

 

[Dragonette]

Don

In my experience a woman communicating her pleasure while lovemaking is one of the greatest delights - the moans and groans and dirty talk and bossing about . . . oh, I'm breaking my own rules here!!

All, everyone is different, some are loud, some are silent!
It takes time to learn, not to expect a loud yell, not to expect talk, eg 'Fuck me harder, do it to me.' etc
Sometimes the ultimate moment is only shown by complete silence, breathing stops, everything stops, the world, time, everything.

It can be diiferent each time, sometimes noisy, yelling, screaming, othertimes absolute silence.

What rules of yours were you breaking?

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Hi Dragonette, thank you for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

I am increasingly amazed by the openness of the contributions to this thread by the respondents. It is really wonderful!!

The "rule" that I broke was that I try to be serious on this "sociological" thread, "fair dinkum" as we say in Oz, and not get carried away - that response is more appropriate on the fun sites like the Literotica Bar.

From reading the Boards and their threads it is obvious that the level of general knowledge about sexuality is low in the general population. I have studied human sexuality for more than half a life-time to discover why our society is so screwed up. This thread was supposed to be a serious discussion without flippant comments, and here I am getting carried away and making flippant comments. So, not a good example by the Originator . . . sorry folks!

The level of togetherness that you describe Dragonette, is, in my experience very rare and so very precious and so we mourn when it leaves us . . . for whatever reason. We go through all the stages of grieving as if it were a death in the family before emerging ready to meet the world on its terms and taking a full part in life. Like a river, life flows on . . . and we must swim in the stream to experience the wonder of life. There have been wonderful experiences in the past . . . there will be wonderful experiences in the future which will benefit from our past.

There is mounting evidence that the level of sensual pleasure increases as a relationship becomes more caring and trust grows between the partners. This result is not usually found in casual relationships.

As you say Dragonette, us men do tend to look through the socially imposed anorexic models shouting at us from the media. In my experience, women are more than their body image and there is nothing more exciting than a woman with an active mind who is prepared to use it everywhere - especially in bed!

But when us men think that our every action is an invitation to sexual pleasure, then we are missing out badly. Most times in my experience a woman wants to be wooed - to be romanced, to be thought of as THE most special person in the Universe by a man she fancies. This is where men generally miss out, and friction may begin. . . and female satisfaction goes out the window?

How is tis situation rectified? As said earlier, by communication without rejection, speaking your needs softly, firmly and repeatedly until the message is conveyed satisfactorily.

Thank you for dropping by and sharing. The search goes on.

Don

 

[funwdi]

Surprise?

I am pleasantly surprised and very happy to read all of your responses, Don. You seem to be a man of respect and a man who "listens" with all his senses to his partner's needs. I am sure, then, that you already know the way to tell when a woman is satisfied. It varies from woman to woman, but the common denominator seems to be body language. When she can finally speak again, when she reaches out for you to wrap your arms around her, when she utters a deep satisfying "sigh" of pleasure, when she stops moving after an incredible orgasm and looks at you like you're the best thing that ever happened to her, and of course I agree with many of the women here...when she JUST wants to cuddle with you and take the time to be close with you. Isn't that the best feeling you can have...to know you've made them excited and happy and satisfied all at the same time?
You are a true gentleman, and I have read your posts with great admiration.
By the way...I'm a Lesbian. I thought I'd mention it if you're confused by my posting.

 

[Ladybird]

Fundwdi you've hit the nail on the head.

I love sex.. I love every aspect of it. But there are times when I think that the cuddle afterwards is even better.

After sharing an intimate act, to wrap your bodies around each and and just enjoy the feel.. is the best. Well, for me it is, anyway.

That's when I'm fully satisfied.

 

[Freya]

Fundwdi you've hit the nail on the head.

I love sex.. I love every aspect of it. But there are times when I think that the cuddle afterwards is even better.

After sharing an intimate act, to wrap your bodies around each and and just enjoy the feel.. is the best. Well, for me it is, anyway.

That's when I'm fully satisfied.

That's the best part of it all - nothing worse than a man who moves to the far side of the bed when he's finished.

 

[psyche]

satisfaction!

For the first time in my life I have a lover who completely satisfies me in every way. He listens when I talk about what gets me excited and he does it all. I have never had anyone who could last the way he does, I can cum and cum and cum and he just keeps on fucking me............it is incredible. By the time we are through, I am so happy. If I die tomorrow at least I can say that I have experienced the fucking of a lifetime. He can tell that I am satisfied because I tell him when we are through that he is the best!

 

[Freya]

Just a joke, but it fits your story Psyche.


When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady near a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong.
>
She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."
>
I said, "Well, then why are you crying?"
>
She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon".
>
I said, "Well, why are you crying?" She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.
>
I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"
>
She said, "I can't remember where I live!"

 

[lilrosie lips]

I gave a flip answer last nite in answer to Don's suggestion that I might enjoy this thread.... and I apologize... for I have read through this and it brings up many thoughts and ideas to my brain...

For me. as for many women, I want and need emotional connection to be truly satisfied. I can be very easily sexually satiated but not fulfilled if I don't get the emotional needs met as well. But this has been rolling around my head for quite a long time, I really think men are not as different in this regard as society would like us to believe. It's not as socially acceptable for men to admit it, but I think deep down, many men desire emotional closeness as much as women do. Which is not to say that my or anyones desires, needs, wants stay constant and static. For me it varies from moment to moment, day to day, week to week, month to month and year to year. I am not the same as I was at 20 and I expect I will be different at 60 as well. Somedays I want exciting, wild horney sex and somedays I would be just as happy with a cuddle. Sometimes a stimulating conversation about anything (not just sex) keeps me going...

All of you have given me lots to think about here, and when my thoughts have crystallized a bit more I am sure I will have more to say...

Thank you Don for starting this and suggesting I come on over...

 

[SweetSexyLady]

I just red a few of the posts on this subject and I have an opinion. I agree with most of the ladies here, but Don, I am more interested in sex DURING PMS, and while menstrating. Sex releaves the cramps and if it's kinda hard it shortens the lenghth of bleeding time, for me anyway. And I am always uninhibited!!! Having a great man helps with that!

 

[SweetSexyLady]

I am not being flippant...just so ya'll know.... I was and am very serious about what was said in my last post.
Don, you are a true gentleman and a very elegant writer, your thoughts and feelings are conveyed perfectly in your words. Have you written anything on Lit?

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thanmk you, funwdi, Ladybird, Freya, Psyche, Rosie and SweetSexy Lady for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

Thank you for your kind comments, funwdi, they are really appreciated. As I said in the first post, "seriously . . . when is a woman satisfied?" I meant it, and your kind words tell me that my question is being given serious consideration by those persons kind enough to share their wisdom.

Your definition "when she just wants to cuddle with you and take the time to be close to you" I think says it all very clearly, and the earth moving orgasms are only part of that mechanism. In my experience, such a reaction occurs more frequently in a non-casual relationship because there is more communication between the partners about many many things from the trivial daily occurrences to the major academic debates of the day.

Ladybird, your constant source of insight, and Freya, adds to the experiences described by funwdi.

As a "mere male" I would suggest that the afterglow is as important a part of satisfaction as the physical gymnastics generating orgasms.

So Rosie, I agree that men desire and need emotional closeness as much as women. Like Freya says, the bolters take a lot of the pleasure with them.

Thank you for your kind thoughts, Sweet Sexy Lady. I think you'll find several referneces to PMS early in this thread. I have yet to submit anything to Lit for publication, unless you count our antics over at the Literotica Bar. Drop by some time and enjoy the fun people - many are Aussies, but not all.

Thank you all for sharing. The search goes on.

Don

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Ro-man-ce

I think that men are more romantic than women, sometimes. OK, not when they're growing up and can only think of beer and pussy, but as they hit 30.

By the time women are beginning to get into the post-blushing-maiden-period, and start to really blossom as women, when they are familiar and comfortable with their bodies, with blood, with pain, with children with running noses, with dirty underwear, with washing the toilet bowl - that's when a man wants to believe in romance, in magic, in a home magically being clean and in order, with his clothes cleaned and ironed, the kids welldressed, wellcombed, and wellbehaved, and with the woman still being as fresh and lovely as when she was a blushing bride - only now she's more at ease with the handcuffs, the butt plug and the nipple clamps.

I think that men are even more eager than us women to fulfill the dream of the perfect family, the perfect life. We are that wishful when we're in our 20'ies - by 30, we've seen reality and come to accept it.

 

[Arden]

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies!!! I crave your indulgence and experience!!

"When is a woman satisfied?"

Never, she said, with a lustful grin...

But honestly, in my most humble opinion, I believe that even the best sexual experience in the entire universe does not mean total satisfaction... although it most certainly helps in the achievement of total satisfaction.

The emotional bond with your partner plays a large part, because you've made a mutual decision to share the single most intimate aspect of your sexuality together. Two persons become one being, and one soul, entangled in a passionate dance.

Maybe passion, itself, is part of the key ingredient to total satisfaction. Not lust, but passion. Sex without passion is just sex. Where true passion is involved, the experience can skyrocket to incredible heights.

Complete satisfaction seems to be a very mental state of being, fueled by longing, desire, and passion. The addition of a wonderful sexual experience is the bond that holds all of these elements together.

When your partner makes you come so hard that you nearly convulse and pass out from the overwhelming sensations, and holds you close as your body trembles... this would rate as being completely satisfying... at that particular time.

However, a lady can be completely satisfied even without earth-shattering orgasms on occasions. For example: being naked, in bed with your special gentleman, and just holding each other can be just as satisfying as a night filled with orgasms that seem to explode in the sky overhead. Skin on skin, peacefully resting together, just being there...

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Very good question!

Hi Don,
Well put question. While MY-Sir- will say that I'm never satisfied, and he's right; because I can't seem to get enough of HIM. I must agree that after HE has given me multible orgasms and I have sucked HIM dry; there is nothing better than cuddling up in HIS arms and drifting off into blissful sleep. Yes, this is a very important part of our lovemaking. Feeling HIS body pressed into mine, gives me a very secure feeling. Sort of like HE'S wrapping HIS protection around me as I drift off. Make sense?? I dunno, it's hard to explain, but laying in HIS arms after He has used my body, strengthens the bond between us. This in it's own way is satisfying. Sorry if I'm rambling here. It's been over 2 months since we've been together, and I miss HIM badly.

Anyway, thanks for asking!




my and 's to MY-Sir-

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thany you Svenskaflicka, Arden and My-Sir's-k- for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

You're not being fair, Svenskaflicka, seeing through the great male self delusion so easily!! In Australia, men are taught to revile anything "sissy" or weak or unmanly, like crying, cooking and dancing. So family is doomed to a low priority as we men rush about, doing everything "for the family", overspending to distraction and locking ourselves into the whirlpool of modern consumerism. We are encouraged to give our families everything - except time with ourselves, arguably the most valuable thing.

Well, Arden, I think you have answered the question - in the first part, women are probably almost insatiable, from a biological point of view. However, lying , panting, aching after being completely ravaged and debauched by your man is not all the answer, as this thread testifies. Satisfaction is more than sexual exhaustion. Indeed, you thread shows that you are aware of this fact. Your man is very lucky to have such a sensitive, lusty lady.

You have a wonderful relationship there by the sound of it, MY-Sir's-k- , and he is a very lucky man. There seems to be many answers to the question, but a common thread is the luxuriant feeling of security in each other's arms.

Thank you all for sharing, the search goes on.

Don