kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
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Good evening {{{{lakesailer}}}}} It must be my bedtime. My first thought was firetruck!
Have a wonderful weekend.
Laughter is Contagious
- Thread starter techsan
- Start date
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Good evening {{{{lakesailer}}}}} It must be my bedtime. My first thought was firetruck!
Have a wonderful weekend.
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
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Good evening {{{{DGO}}}}
You've got lots!
Hope you had a fabulous Friday. Have a wonderful weekend too.
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
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Good evening {{{{DGO}}}}
You've got lots!
Hope you had a fabulous Friday. Have a wonderful weekend too.
It was too cold to do much, so I did two loads of laundry. The first since before Christmas. I fell asleep and woke confused. When I went back to the laundry room, I realized why. The maintenance man had been knocking on my door. So now I've got at least 5 days before the ceilings are repaired.
Enjoy your weekend and be sure to stay warm!
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
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It was too cold to do much, so I did two loads of laundry. The first since before Christmas. I fell asleep and woke confused. When I went back to the laundry room, I realized why. The maintenance man had been knocking on my door. So now I've got at least 5 days before the ceilings are repaired.
Enjoy your weekend and be sure to stay warm!
Good morning {{{{{DGO}}}}}
Reading your post, what has the laundry got to do with the ceilings...
Thinking if a place had a laundry room where I lived it was always in the basement.Take care of yourself sweetie. Yes and stay warm.
sexy_hottie_2003
One Sexy Lady
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Angel's Food vs. Devil's Food
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Ranch Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Ranch Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
pedicur8her
Gives Good Mind ...
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What is the difference between making love to a prostitute, your mistress, and your wife?
Prostitute: sighs, "Oh Baby, oh baby." While looking at her watch.
Your mistress: sighs, "Oh Baby, oh baby!" While digging her nails into your back.
Your wife: sighs, "Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige ..."
Prostitute: sighs, "Oh Baby, oh baby." While looking at her watch.
Your mistress: sighs, "Oh Baby, oh baby!" While digging her nails into your back.
Your wife: sighs, "Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige ..."
sexy_hottie_2003
One Sexy Lady
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The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store & thought, "That's what I need - a new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve & 16-1/2 neck." Again, Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see ... 9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."
Joe laughed. "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store & thought, "That's what I need - a new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve & 16-1/2 neck." Again, Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see ... 9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."
Joe laughed. "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
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RETARDED GRANDPARENTS
(this was actually reported by a teacher)
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they
spent their holiday away from school.
One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.
They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona .
Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass.
They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.
There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.
At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it.
He watches all day so nobody can escape.
Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts.
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out.
And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds.
Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house.
The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too..
When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house..
Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.
(this was actually reported by a teacher)
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they
spent their holiday away from school.
One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.
They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona .
Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass.
They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.
There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.
At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it.
He watches all day so nobody can escape.
Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts.
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out.
And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds.
Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house.
The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too..
When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house..
Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.
sexy_hottie_2003
One Sexy Lady
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AP December 12, 1999 - The Energizer Bunny, known best for, "going and going and going..." passed away last evening at 12:42am.
Upon completion of the autopsy early this morning, the chief medical examiner ruled that the death was caused by acute cardiac arrest, induced by sexual over-stimulation.
Apparently, someone put the battery in backwards and the bunny kept coming and coming and coming,...
Foul play has not been ruled out.
Upon completion of the autopsy early this morning, the chief medical examiner ruled that the death was caused by acute cardiac arrest, induced by sexual over-stimulation.
Apparently, someone put the battery in backwards and the bunny kept coming and coming and coming,...
Foul play has not been ruled out.
smoothdevil
devilishnice
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s u p e r ............... LOL LOL LOL
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
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sexy_hottie_2003
One Sexy Lady
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Things To Think About
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
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{{{{{Hottie}}}}}} Those are absolutely great. Must share.
Tawny_Temptress
Literotica Guru
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kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
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sexy_hottie_2003
One Sexy Lady
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The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Good: You're pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: Your husband had a vasectomy five years ago.
Good: Your husband is not talking to you. Bad: He wants a divorce. Ugly: He's a lawyer.
Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He's involved with the woman next door. Ugly: So are you.
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room. Bad: You find several pornographic movies hidden there. Ugly: You're in them.
Good: Your husband understands fashion. Bad: He's a cross-dresser. Ugly: He looks better than you.
Good: You give "the birds and the bees" talk to your 14-year-old daughter. Bad: She keeps interrupting. Ugly: With corrections.
Good: Your daughter got a new job. Bad: As a hooker. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do!
Good: You're pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: Your husband had a vasectomy five years ago.
Good: Your husband is not talking to you. Bad: He wants a divorce. Ugly: He's a lawyer.
Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He's involved with the woman next door. Ugly: So are you.
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room. Bad: You find several pornographic movies hidden there. Ugly: You're in them.
Good: Your husband understands fashion. Bad: He's a cross-dresser. Ugly: He looks better than you.
Good: You give "the birds and the bees" talk to your 14-year-old daughter. Bad: She keeps interrupting. Ugly: With corrections.
Good: Your daughter got a new job. Bad: As a hooker. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do!
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
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kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
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The great trade-off
In The Garden Of Eden
God was just about done creating humans but he had two items left over. He couldn't decide which one to give Adam and which to give Eve so he thought he would just ask them.
He told them he had two leftover items and the first was the ability to pee standing up and asked if either of them was interested.
Before Eve could say a word, Adam jumped up saying, "Me! Please give it to me, Lord! It would be so cool!"
God looked at Eve and she shrugged her shoulders and said, "If it will make him that happy, go ahead."
So God gave the ability to pee standing up to Adam.
Adam was so excited he started whizzing all over the place. First on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away, laughing with delight all the while.
God and Eve watched him with amusement, then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're stuck with the last thing I have left."
"What's it called?" asked Eve.
"Multiple orgasms", said God.
In The Garden Of Eden
God was just about done creating humans but he had two items left over. He couldn't decide which one to give Adam and which to give Eve so he thought he would just ask them.
He told them he had two leftover items and the first was the ability to pee standing up and asked if either of them was interested.
Before Eve could say a word, Adam jumped up saying, "Me! Please give it to me, Lord! It would be so cool!"
God looked at Eve and she shrugged her shoulders and said, "If it will make him that happy, go ahead."
So God gave the ability to pee standing up to Adam.
Adam was so excited he started whizzing all over the place. First on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away, laughing with delight all the while.
God and Eve watched him with amusement, then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're stuck with the last thing I have left."
"What's it called?" asked Eve.
"Multiple orgasms", said God.
sexy_hottie_2003
One Sexy Lady
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Misleading Information
This woman is rushed to the hospital in critical condition. Her husband waits patiently in the waiting room.
After a few minutes, the doctor comes out and asks her assistant for a wrench, which understandably concerns the husband.
Then, after a couple more moments, the doctor re-enters the room this time asking for a screwdriver.
The man grows worried and begins to pace in circles. Then, a little later, the doctor bursts through the doors screaming for a hammer.
At that, the husband, in a state of frenzied terror, runs up to the surgeon and asks, ''Doctor, what the heck is wrong with my wife?''
"I don't know," replies the flustered doctor, "I can't get my damn bag open."
This woman is rushed to the hospital in critical condition. Her husband waits patiently in the waiting room.
After a few minutes, the doctor comes out and asks her assistant for a wrench, which understandably concerns the husband.
Then, after a couple more moments, the doctor re-enters the room this time asking for a screwdriver.
The man grows worried and begins to pace in circles. Then, a little later, the doctor bursts through the doors screaming for a hammer.
At that, the husband, in a state of frenzied terror, runs up to the surgeon and asks, ''Doctor, what the heck is wrong with my wife?''
"I don't know," replies the flustered doctor, "I can't get my damn bag open."
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
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done_got_old
Literotica Guru
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sexy_hottie_2003
One Sexy Lady
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Now this is a HOROSCOPE!
ARIES
You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding
TAURUS
Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss.
GEMINI
Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real fucking weirdo, the type of person who'd kill them self to win a bet.
CANCER
You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a
mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.
LEO
The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare.
VIRGO
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bullshitting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.
LIBRA
You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.
SCORPIO
You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You should become a stunt performer with no helmet.
SAGITTARIUS
You are the romantic mushy type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. Men even willing to rent Sleepless In Seattle to increase your odds for a romp in the sack.
CAPRICORN
You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centered cunt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.
AQUARIUS
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.
PISCES
You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You're a prick.
ARIES
You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding
TAURUS
Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss.
GEMINI
Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real fucking weirdo, the type of person who'd kill them self to win a bet.
CANCER
You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a
mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.
LEO
The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare.
VIRGO
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bullshitting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.
LIBRA
You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.
SCORPIO
You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You should become a stunt performer with no helmet.
SAGITTARIUS
You are the romantic mushy type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. Men even willing to rent Sleepless In Seattle to increase your odds for a romp in the sack.
CAPRICORN
You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centered cunt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.
AQUARIUS
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.
PISCES
You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You're a prick.
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
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Definitely not like any horoscopes I've ever seen. These may actually be right.
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
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Wrong, I'm a recycled Virgin............it's so long between screws that it hurts like hell!
sexy_hottie_2003
One Sexy Lady
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2002
- Posts
- 6,339
AQUARIUS
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.
Well I'll admit to being a absolute pervert but that's it
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.
Well I'll admit to being a absolute pervert but that's it
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