Let's Talk About 'Gentle' FemDom

[DevotedHusband1]

I haven't posted in this thread in a while but my amazing relationship with my queen is still going strong. The last week has been incredible because she has been in a bit of a mood and has gotten very angry with me about a couple of things and given me some very sharp lectures. I find this emotional and psychic domination to be so very powerful. I mean she has really been putting me in my place. When she is really angry I actually feel afraid of her because her disapproval is so crushing. I'm almost twice as big as she is and probably three times as strong, and yet I regard this woman with a combination of fear, reverence, and awe.

No matter how angry she gets or what she says, I know that the only acceptable response from me is a gentlemanly smile and a "yes, dear." Last night, while she was falling asleep, she allowed me to caress her feet but didn't really acknowledge it. Tonight when I did the same thing, she favored me with a couple of appreciative sighs. That is usually a good sign and means that sex will be back on the table the following night, provided of course that I earn it tomorrow. Who knows, if I really go above and beyond the call of duty to court and please her, she may even let me suck her toes or worship her bottom.

I am so lucky to be with this woman. I know that this is my destiny: to serve her, to please her, to worship her, and to fear her wrath.

 

[Goldenfinger]

I don’t know about gentle femdom just my relationship with my wife. It’s not just sexual it a lifestyle. It subtle when we are out and about but if your around us for any amount of time you can see it. It’s definitely FLR, some humiliation, definitely role reversal, no impact play, no restraining, loving, respectful lifestyle.

 

[stevesthename]

Great thread! I'm 55, from the UK, become increasingly interested in Gentle FemDom largely through watching probably too many videos of guys being edged mercilessly.

It's become a huge turn on and fantasy for me. I love to be edged and the extra frisson of being under the control of a beautiful, feminine yet strong and determined woman is, well, fuck.

For me being a gentle domme is less about the look (naked is always good!) and more about the demeanour - strong, determined, will of iron, yet gentle, caring, and very, very skilled.

 

[stevesthename]

Did I kill the thread?

 

[Ashesh9]

Presenting myself to my Queen / Wife and spankin' my arse for Her Majesty's viewing Plaisur!!! These are aspects of the Gentle Femdom Her Majesty exerts over her taller, bigger, stronger husband....in the privacy of our Dungeon

 

[Dearelliot]

For me a Femdom is a sexual arrangement, not a domestic one. I don't give massages or free landscaping, and she abuses me...that may well be why my femdoms are really findoms...I pay them...that's what they get out of it.
I'm not sure if I would like a domestic arrangement, I suppose if I got enough of what I want in exchange, God knows I worked may ass off for my wife and with little sex and no dominance. I love her..she is a perfect wife...and no way I can expect her to love dominance

 

[likitisplit]

Welcome - shall we begin?

I have a few questions, but it would be great if the gentlemen chiming in here could give us just the tiniest bit of an intro by way of including their age and how they became interested in FemDom (gentle or otherwise). Thank you!

**How do you see 'Gentle' FemDom being different from the more traditional type of feminine domination?

**Why is it appealing?

**What does a 'gentle' Domme look like to you? How does she behave?

**What do you look for in a GFD relationship? What do you hope to get out of it?

**How do you see it fitting into your life - bedroom only, or lifestyle?

i'll add my 2 cents fwiw as little experience i've had. part of what i add here is simply what i'd like and more or less to be involved in. i don't do pain and many of the full blown agendas that most bdsm members like. i'd like it to involve a cpl m and f doms so both could use me. i don't fuck anal with males nor take. i'd hope she could fist me/ i'd be open to be double teamed by them. they would be very kind but firm. i'd be dressed in pantyhose by them. both would be attractive with sexy fit bodies and both dress kinky in latex outfits. it somehow pleases me to allow others to see me please others

 

[Wanttobeowned]

Personally. I like the idea.
I am not into rude, pushy or Dommes that are not interested in what a sub has to say in terms of redlines or limits.

That said, I love the idea of a woman deciding when I need to expose and for whom.
Whether it be random pics when ever she wants or live shows fro groups of women or anything in between - the idea of not having control over who sees or when I will be exposed, is such a rush!

 

[Starwars_nerd]

I like the sound of this

 

[Goldenfinger]

What is considered gentle

 

[Ashesh9]

What is considered gentle

This is a very subjective topic : what is Gentle to X maybe Rough to Y.....

 

[Goldenfinger]

This is a very subjective topic : what is Gentle to X maybe Rough to Y.....

I know, just want to hear others idea of gentle.

 

[bigdawg742]

Hello Miss Honey!
I am a 49 year old sub. I got into GFD through CFNM….that is my kink. I love the table turning aspect of women in charge….have since adolescence!

Some of my earliest turn ons were from T and A movies in the 80s. Porky’s 2…the scene where the girls trick the guys into getting naked in the pool- H.o.t.s. Had a really hot jock strap raid scene- Summer Job had a really hot scene where the girls strip a guy….all of those were what formed my kink.

I love an aspect where the woman tricks a guy into submission by teasing him. Making him do things that he wouldn’t normally do because he thinks he’ll have a shot at her.

 

[LeaHaven]

I guess gentle femdom is what we are becoming (have become?). My husband wants me to be the boss, make all the important decisions, tell him what to do, and punish him if he doesn't do it. In the beginning, I was very reluctant, but I decided to give it a try just to save our marriage. Now it is becoming enjoyable, because I am learning what things work and what things do not. Sometimes he even gets a full erection if I make him do certain things, but these things are not sexual. Like if I make him rub my feet while I am eating a meal.

It is becoming fun to learn what works, and I am enjoying having control, but it is very different, and sometimes I still feel uneasy. But when I think back to a year ago, I was not sure I would even be married at this point. I am glad I gave it a try.

 

[IARainman]

What is considered gentle

For me, it’s the fact that I don’t crave being beaten. I would welcome a woman spanking if she wanted and I have exhibited myself slapping my own erection As directed by a woman, but for me it’s more that I will serve, and will serve without any expectation of reciprocation. That my focus is on pleasing her, whether that’s cleaning her house, massaging her, or responding to her sexual needs. I don’t need to be beaten or tied to do this. Snap your fingers, or give me that look and I’ll respond.

 

[Goldenfinger]

I guess gentle femdom is what we are becoming (have become?). My husband wants me to be the boss, make all the important decisions, tell him what to do, and punish him if he doesn't do it. In the beginning, I was very reluctant, but I decided to give it a try just to save our marriage. Now it is becoming enjoyable, because I am learning what things work and what things do not. Sometimes he even gets a full erection if I make him do certain things, but these things are not sexual. Like if I make him rub my feet while I am eating a meal.

It is becoming fun to learn what works, and I am enjoying having control, but it is very different, and sometimes I still feel uneasy. But when I think back to a year ago, I was not sure I would even be married at this point. I am glad I gave it a try.

Thanks for sharing. It’s a wonderful thing you do for your husband, just don’t forget about yourself.

 

[Goldenfinger]

For me, it’s the fact that I don’t crave being beaten. I would welcome a woman spanking if she wanted and I have exhibited myself slapping my own erection As directed by a woman, but for me it’s more that I will serve, and will serve without any expectation of reciprocation. That my focus is on pleasing her, whether that’s cleaning her house, massaging her, or responding to her sexual needs. I don’t need to be beaten or tied to do this. Snap your fingers, or give me that look and I’ll respond.

Thanks for your input. I too can’t see myself wanting or even sexualizing being beaten.

 

[LeaHaven]

Thanks for sharing. It’s a wonderful thing you do for your husband, just don’t forget about yourself.

Is it a wonderful thing I do for him? I could swear that the meaner I am the more he likes it. The scary thing is that being a little bitch - it fits me.

 

[magic_rat]

But none of the real women I've ever met are interested in dressing up in uncomfortable clothes to whip a guy and not get laid. Even the one or two who like whipping (and are okay with the not getting laid) usually want to do it in some comfortable shoes.

I know a switch who will dress the part and flog me and not get laid. It's not primarily a sexual thing for either of us, not for a lot of dom/sub people. She dresses that way because it's a role she's playing. I've seen her completely naked flogging a guy and she's no less domme.

That having been said, outside of the dungeon she's quite sub in the bedroom and most definitely expects to get laid.

 

[whenagain]

Is it a wonderful thing I do for him? I could swear that the meaner I am the more he likes it. The scary thing is that being a little bitch - it fits me.

Sounds like you’re both learning things about yourselves.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Is it a wonderful thing I do for him? I could swear that the meaner I am the more he likes it. The scary thing is that being a little bitch - it fits me.

And that’s even better. You said your husband wanted this and even tho you were reluctant, for him you gave it a go. Not every partner would do this. The fact that you found that it fit you is better for the both of you but really better for you. If one partner ask the the other to do something that’s to far out of their comfort zone it can cause problems.

 

[LeaHaven]

Sounds like you’re both learning things about yourselves.

but the process feels like grasping at straws, ngl

 

[Yarglenurp]

but the process feels like grasping at straws, ngl

That’s just a relationship in general. There’s not really a guaranteed rulebook to this stuff, just guidelines. If it makes you happy and it makes him happy, then it’s good. If it doesn’t, then it’s not good.

The only universal rule is to always keep communication lines open and be willing to reassess what is working and isn’t working.

 

[LeaHaven]

And that’s even better. You said your husband wanted this and even tho you were reluctant, for him you gave it a go. Not every partner would do this. The fact that you found that it fit you is better for the both of you but really better for you. If one partner ask the the other to do something that’s to far out of their comfort zone it can cause problems.

That is very nice of you, but I can't say I did it for him. I gave some things a try bc I did not want to continue a relationship that felt awkward. When you go from best friends to awkward, it is terrifying. I am also ashamed to admit, but if my marriage failed, my parents and his parents would have said, "told you so!" I'm not letting that happen without putting up a fight

 

[LeaHaven]

That’s just a relationship in general. There’s not really a guaranteed rulebook to this stuff, just guidelines. If it makes you happy and it makes him happy, then it’s good. If it doesn’t, then it’s not good.

The only universal rule is to always keep communication lines open and be willing to reassess what is working and isn’t working.

Communication? lol We don't talk about sex. I have to read the clues and try what I am willing to try. Without reading about stuff on here that sounds similar to my husband, I never would have had a clue.