Let's tickle the funny bones :)

[Sugar_Lab]

Love this thread! Very funny!

 

[italianGod]

My teacher is really giving me a tuff time,"Little Johnny was telling his Father.
"Handle it this way Johnny," his father advised. "Take special care with your personal appearance and attire. Pay attention in class. And do your assignments and homework promptly."
"I really don't think that'll help Dad, Johnny rejoined. "She hissed at me during study break that she's 3 weeks overdue."

 

[italianGod]

The teacher brought a Venus statue in class and asks, "What do you like best about it, class?
Let's start with you, Robert."

"The artwork," says Robert. "Very good. And you, Peter?"

"Her tits!" says Peter. "Peter, get out! Go stand in the hall," responds the teacher with disgust.

"And you, Johnny?" "I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving..."

 

[italianGod]

Little Johnny is sleeping in bed, when his mother comes along and says:
"Rise and shine Johnny, time to wake up."

Little Johnny replies, "5 more minutes mum."

His mother decides to give Johnny 5 more minutes, so she goes down the stairs and starts cooking breakfast.

Five minutes Little Johnny comes down the stairs and is crying uncontrollably. "What's wrong Johnny?" asks Johnny's mother.

"I had a wet dream last night," Johnny replied. His mother is surprised, but keeps her composure.
"That's nothing to cry over, is it Johnny?" she says.

"Of course it bloody is," says Little Johnny. "Now whenever anyone asks me what the first thing I said after my first orgasm is, I'll have to tell them '5 more minutes mum!'"

 

[italianGod]

A third grade school teacher was trying to explain to her class the difference between singular and plural. She said, ''What do you call it if one woman looks out a window?''

Charlotte said, ''Singular.''

The teacher said, ''That's right Charlotte. Now, what do you call it if three women are looking out of a window?''

And little Johnny raised his hand and blurted out, ''A whorehouse.'

 

[Sugar_Lab]

Where do you get all of this stuff?

 

[italianGod]

Love this thread! Very funny!

Thanks and enjoy !!

 

[italianGod]

Where do you get all of this stuff?

A lot from my old emails and ofcourse, I do read a lot .. and was once a Little Johny !! LOL

 

[italianGod]

We know some of us are bathroom singers...but 've you ever heard about toilet drummers ??

http://hetu.in/img/fun/624_drummer.jpg

 

[italianGod]

Itz all about us...

http://hetu.in/img/fun/funh544.jpg

 

[italianGod]

All questions answered....

http://hetu.in/img/fun/funh3070.jpg

 

[italianGod]

Dare screw....a crab...

http://hetu.in/img/fun/funh2842.jpg

 

[italianGod]

So true....

http://hetu.in/img/fun/funh2533.jpg

 

[italianGod]

We all like to get a job here

http://hetu.in/img/fun/funh1619.jpg

 

[italianGod]

iHole

http://hetu.in/img/fun/funh5349.jpg

 

[italianGod]

Happy Independence Day for all out there

 

[newbiebabe]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0wtaih0OFGU/Tbkc9ct4D4I/AAAAAAAAAKI/eJINfMzLoJo/s1600/medium_no_sex_2.jpg

 

[whalee]

uh, huh!!!

 

[italianGod]

A large two engined train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down. "No problem," the engineer thought, and carried on at half power.

Farther on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill.

The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement:

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that you decided to take the train and not fly.

 

[italianGod]

Hooker asked Plastic Surgeon to make another hole for her.
Surgeon was surprised and asked why?
She answered: Business is good, so opening a new branch!

 

[italianGod]

Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives.

The first said, "I think my husband's like a championship golfer. He's spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke."

The second woman said, "My husband's like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps."

The third woman was silent until she was asked, "Tell us about your husband."

She thought for a moment and said, "My husband's like an Olympic gold-medal-winning quarter-miler."

"How so?"

"He's got his time down to under 40 seconds."

 

[italianGod]

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!"
The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."

 

[italianGod]

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.

 

[italianGod]

The average man's life consists of:

Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question,
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.


When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?

 

[italianGod]

A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache."

"Perfect" her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository...it's up to you!"