Let's tickle the funny bones :)

[italianGod]

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.

At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.

They hear a faint moan.

They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!

She lives for ten more years, and then dies.

Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket.

As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, "Watch that wall!"

 

[italianGod]

A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide. On the third day, the hikers noticed that they had been travelling in circles.

”We’re lost!” One of the hikers complained.

”And you said you were the best guide in the United States.”

”I am,” the guide answered, ” but I think we may have wandered into Canada.”

 

[italianGod]

Two elderly gentlemen were having coffee in the resort hotel the morning after their double wedding to their respective elderly wives.
Jim said, with concern, "I'll have to see a doctor when I get home, I couldn't consummate my marriage last night."
"Well, really," says Bob. "I better see a therapist then - I didn't even think of it!

 

[italianGod]

Question. Why are Condoms transparent?

Answer. So that the sperms can at least enjoy the Scenery!

 

[italianGod]

OK so there's 3 blondes in a lift, suddenly the lift comes to a halt and the lights go out. First they try and call for help by using their mobile phones… but no luck. The phone's have no signal.

After a couple of hours being stuck with no sign of help, one blond says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by shouting together."

The others agree, and they take a deep breath and begin to shout "Together, together, together."

 

[italianGod]

Luck and Fuck are directly proportional to each other.
When Luck favors, you can Fuck the whole world,
BUT when Luck fails, the whole world begins to Fuck you!

 

[italianGod]

An Italian, a Frenchman, and a Yorkshireman are discussing their relative performance in bed.

The Italian says, "When I've-a finshed-a makin' da love with my girlfriend I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floats-a da 6 inches above-a da bed in ecstasy."

The Frenchman replies, "Zat is nossing, when Ah 'ave finished making ze love with my girlfriend Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen Ah lick zer soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats ze 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy."

The Yorkshireman says, "That's nothing! When I've finished fookin' my missus, I get out of bed, walk over to the window and wipe my dick clean on the curtains. She hits the fookin' roof!"

 

[italianGod]

Masturbation........

http://hetu.in/img/fun/funh2978.jpg

 

[italianGod]

When you bury your nuts.....

http://hetu.in/img/fun/funh602.jpg

 

[italianGod]

http://hetu.in/img/fun/funh4343.jpg

 

[italianGod]

Wrong hole....grrrr

http://hetu.in/img/fun/45e06b112a6cf9.08312954frogview-gallery.jpg

 

[italianGod]

What the....

http://hetu.in/img/fun/funh3455.jpg

 

[Nina327]

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkqyc2ZWSs1qhq1pjo1_500.jpg

 

[italianGod]

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkqyc2ZWSs1qhq1pjo1_500.jpg

LOL..thtz really funny. Thanks for posting

 

[tolyk]

http://damnyouautocorrect.com/images/sit-couch.jpg

 

[italianGod]

Question. Who is a Consultant?

Answer. A person who borrows your watch, tells you the time, pockets the watch and sends you a bill for it.



Question. What is the difference between love marriage and arranged marriage?

Answer. In love marriage, you marry your own girlfriend. In an arranged marriage, you marry somebody else's girlfriend!

 

[tolyk]

http://damnyouautocorrect.com/images/first-fondle.jpg

 

[italianGod]

http://damnyouautocorrect.com/images/sit-couch.jpg

Hey mate.....thanks for posting and thtz awesome....LOL

And how are you and your sweetheart? Regards to both !!

 

[italianGod]

Newton's 4th law: "To and fro motion gives hand full of white lotion".

Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.

Prostitution is probably the only industry where freshers are paid more than the experienced.

 

[italianGod]

Question: A Woman Normally has 2 Mouths! What’s the difference between the 2?

The 1st answered: 1 can talk But The other can′t.

2nd answered: 1 is Vertical and The other is Horizontal.

3rd answered: 1 is Hairy, The other isn′t.

The Last 1 answered: 1 is for My Use & The Other is for My Boss!

Boss: “Yes, You’re Hired!”

 

[tolyk]

Hey mate.....thanks for posting and thtz awesome....LOL

And how are you and your sweetheart? Regards to both !!

Been fantastic, thanks Hope the same can be said for you

 

[italianGod]

Height Of Embarrassment:

Man Sitting With his Wife in the Park

Another Lady Comes to his Wife and Says: Sweet, get some advance payment, He is yet to give me full !!

 

[italianGod]

At 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,
At 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,
At 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,
At 48 a Table Tennis ball, 1 man pushing her to the other.

 

[italianGod]

A police offer pulls a man over for speeding.
He sees that the man is very anxious.
"Why were you speeding, Sir?"
"It's a matter of life and death."
"How's that?"
"A naked woman's waiting for me at home."
"That's life and death?"
"If I don't get home before my wife does, I'm a dead man."

 

[italianGod]

Boy: Do you like parties?

Girl: Yes, why?

Boy: Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!