LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Let's tickle the funny bones :)

Little Johnny was a curious little guy and was always asking questions. One day, when his aunt was visiting, he went into his typical interrogation.

Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, how old are you?
Auntie: Well Johnny, that's not a question that you ask a lady.

Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, how much do you weigh?
Auntie: Johnny! That's not a question you ask a lady.

Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, why don't you and your boyfriend sleep in the same bed?
Auntie: Johnny, stop this! That's not a question you ask a lady!

Johnny went off to play but the next day he was talking to his aunt again.

Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, I know how old you are. You're 32 years old.
Auntie: Johnny! How do you know that?
Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, I know how much you weigh. You're 135 pounds.
Auntie: Johnny! How do you know that?
Johnny: And Auntie, Auntie, Auntie. I know why you don't sleep in the same bed as your boyfriend.
Auntie: Johnny! Stop this! How do you know all this?

Johnny: Well, I found your driver's license last night. Here it says that you're 32 years old and here it says that you weigh 135 pounds. And right down here it explains why you don't sleep in the same bed as your boyfriend.
Auntie: Where does it say that?
Johnny: Right here. It says you got an "F" in Sex.
 
Little Johnny comes home from catholic school wit a black eye. His father see's it and says "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"

But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!

"Johnny", the father said. You don't do those kind of things to women.

Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.

Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!"

"But Dad" Johnny said. "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like
this, so I pushed it back in!"
 
A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.

The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!"

He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.

The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"
 
A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer. The bartender informed him that he was not allowed to serve alcohol to drunken patrons.
After a few harsh words, the bartender suggested to the drunk to prove he wasn't drunk by doing twenty push-ups on the floor.
As he was doing the push-ups, another drunk staggers into the bar and sees this guy on the floor doing push-ups.
He looks at him for a minute and then kicks him in the ribs saying,
"Fella, I think your girl friend has gone home."
 
4 Miracles of a Woman

Getting wet without taking a SHOWER
Bleeding without getting HURT
Giving milk without eating GRASS
Making Boneless meat HARD!!!
 
Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home...
Keep your hand on her neck...
Put your lips on her lips and have a … nice drink…PEPSI

Let me kiss ur lips,
let me feel ur teeth,
let me feel ur tongue.
SMILE!
This is ur friend
“PEPSODENT”
reminding you to brush ur teeth,
Twice a day Everyday :)
 
Nice little poem

Love is a gamble,
Sex is a game,
Boys do the thing
Girls get the blame,
1 night in pleasure
9 months of pain
1 day in hospital and
a junior needs a name.
 
Male Training Seminars

1. Combatting Stupidity

2. You, Too, Can Do Housework

3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

4. How to Fill an Ice Tray

5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money

6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am

7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques: formerly titled "Don't Wash my Silks"

8. Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception

9. Get a Life: Learn to Cook

10. How Not to Act Like a Jackass When You're Obviously Wrong

11. Spelling: Even You Can Get it Right

12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

13. You: The Weaker Sex

14. Reasons to Give Flowers

15. How to Stay Awake in Public

16. Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the Bathroom

17. Garbage: Getting it to the Curb

18. You Can Fall Asleep Without IT if You Really Try

19. The Morning Dilemma if IT's awake: Take a Shower

20. I'll Wear it if I Damn Well Please

21. How to Put the Toilet Lid Down: formerly titled "No, It's Not a Bidet"

22. "The Weekend" and "Sports" are Not Synonyms

23. Give Me a Break: Why We Know Your Excuses are Bull

24. How to Go Shopping with Your Mate and Not Get Lost

25. The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

26. Romanticism: Ideas Other Than Sex

27. Helpful Postural Hints for Couch Potatoes

28. Mothers-in-Law: They are People Too

29. Male Bonding: Leaving Your Friends at Home

30. You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver

31. Seeing the True You: formerly titled "No, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson When Naked"

32. Changing Your Underwear: It Really Works

33. The Attainable Goal: Omitting "tits" From Your Vocabulary

34. Fluffing the Blankets After Flatulating is Not Necessary

35. Techniques for calling home.
 
Question. What is the difference between a 69 and driving in the fog?

Answer. When driving in the fog, you can't see the asshole in front of you.

Question. What does the recession and your ex-girlfriends vagina have in common?

Answer. Deeper than expected.

Question. What is the difference between Satisfaction and Frustration in only one article.
Answer . What "a" fuck and What "the" Fuck!
 
A boy watches his mum and dad having sex he ask, "What are you doing ?"
His dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!"
Boy say, "Do her doggy style I want a puppy.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

hotwords229_A
Confusing Images and Their Possible Explanations
2
Replies
45
Views
901
Endless_Night
Endless_Night
LatinaCarmen1980
Our Cute, Funny, Sexy Latina Thread!
24 25 26
Replies
628
Views
11K
yvcam2026
yvcam2026
Apisto42
Down the rabbit hole
7 8 9
Replies
207
Views
4K
SparkleFur
SparkleFur
InThe312
🥂🎂 Happy Birthday StillRain 🎂🥂
Replies
19
Views
812
RjR3_1954
RjR3_1954
dreamysub
Quiet Whispers
Replies
23
Views
940
dreamysub
dreamysub
Back
Top