GuiltyPleasure
AWTSS
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Line by Line Challenge Commentary Thread
- Thread starter Piscator
- Start date
HarryHill
Hairy fucker
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champagne1982
Dangerous Liaison
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HarryHill
Hairy fucker
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but I was looking for the challenge thread.
Winter_Fare
Virgo
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I only just noticed this thread. Doh. Belated thanks for the welcome x
29wordsforsnow
beyond thirty
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(So not) fourteen
With Piscator's 14-line-challenge and Angeline's Translation&Sestinas post in mind, a parody
----------------
Let's hear about young William
The Conqueror he's not, but another
who dearly loves some fancy worded play.
Now walking down the misty harbor street,
trips on the hoot of some German Fräulein
who begs, "Ach, mein Herr, wären sie so nett?"
"Oh, sie lieber, war'n so nett."
she whispers and hugs the steaming William
carrying bags of the foreign Fräulein.
A peek is traded and then another
when right next door in the mud-draggled street
an out-of-tune violin starts to play
In their secret shadow play
her words again, "Mein lieber, sei so nett"
unheard below in the all swinging street
but ringing deep in the melting William
kissed and in return asks for another
more than heard by the generous Fräulein.
Aforesaid German Fräulein
with open lips and lids, enjoys his play
obtaining a peck and then another
she insists, "Und da auch, das wär so nett."
Going downwards, the most willing William
doesn't mind the moonlight across the street.
Getting lost on lovers street
the world soon knows about this young Fräulein
as her much-loved words passed by young William
deep in rehearsal of their bodies' play
"so, sooo..." and after one deep breath, "sooooo nett"
while stock's and socks lie upon another.
One day passed, and then another
and in every home all along the street
the echoes moan the refrain of "so nett"
quite imitating the vocal Fräulein.
"Well, Bill, why don't you use it in your next play?"
some friend asked the Shakespeare, named William.
Now married to a different one - the Deutsche Missy
crossed the strait and indulged in an un-same game -
he's still in love with Sonnet style, rhyming Ol'Boy Billie
With Piscator's 14-line-challenge and Angeline's Translation&Sestinas post in mind, a parody
----------------
Let's hear about young William
The Conqueror he's not, but another
who dearly loves some fancy worded play.
Now walking down the misty harbor street,
trips on the hoot of some German Fräulein
who begs, "Ach, mein Herr, wären sie so nett?"
"Oh, sie lieber, war'n so nett."
she whispers and hugs the steaming William
carrying bags of the foreign Fräulein.
A peek is traded and then another
when right next door in the mud-draggled street
an out-of-tune violin starts to play
In their secret shadow play
her words again, "Mein lieber, sei so nett"
unheard below in the all swinging street
but ringing deep in the melting William
kissed and in return asks for another
more than heard by the generous Fräulein.
Aforesaid German Fräulein
with open lips and lids, enjoys his play
obtaining a peck and then another
she insists, "Und da auch, das wär so nett."
Going downwards, the most willing William
doesn't mind the moonlight across the street.
Getting lost on lovers street
the world soon knows about this young Fräulein
as her much-loved words passed by young William
deep in rehearsal of their bodies' play
"so, sooo..." and after one deep breath, "sooooo nett"
while stock's and socks lie upon another.
One day passed, and then another
and in every home all along the street
the echoes moan the refrain of "so nett"
quite imitating the vocal Fräulein.
"Well, Bill, why don't you use it in your next play?"
some friend asked the Shakespeare, named William.
Now married to a different one - the Deutsche Missy
crossed the strait and indulged in an un-same game -
he's still in love with Sonnet style, rhyming Ol'Boy Billie
Angeline
Poet Chick
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Harry I love your Fourteen Line Preamble! It has a nice jazzy, stream of consciousness kinda bounce and I gotta say, having known him well, Smithpeter would love it too. As would eagleyez: I could see it fitting well in the not sure thread. 
ishtat
Literotica Guru
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This is worth quoting in full. Liked it a lot. For some unknown reason the phrase, "Aforesaid German Fraulein" just won't go away, tickles my fancy on all sorts of levels. Thanks.
29wordsforsnow
beyond thirty
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Thank you all 
May all your muses bring you a lot of fourteen-ish ideas.
P.S.: There will be two more months this year...How about some bonus line-by-line challenges? Like, we haven't been legal yet, I think we need an 18-line November too. And poems praising different forms in December?
May all your muses bring you a lot of fourteen-ish ideas.P.S.: There will be two more months this year...How about some bonus line-by-line challenges? Like, we haven't been legal yet, I think we need an 18-line November too. And poems praising different forms in December?
HarryHill
Hairy fucker
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- Jul 13, 2012
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Epic appreciation, I wish I could have met them.
..Thank you all
P.S.: There will be two more months this year...How about some bonus line-by-line challenges? Like, we haven't been legal yet, I think we need an 18-line November too. And poems praising different forms in December?
You know you could take up the challenge, I did a year, then Fishy did ten months, is that right? The spot is open.
HarryHill
Hairy fucker
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Piscator
Literotica Guru
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Thanks Harry and all who have added their lines to our linear excursion. I hope it will continue through the end of October and beyond,
I've learned a lot from it and the accompanying discussion especially butter's link to13 way of thinking about poetry.
Angeline
Poet Chick
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Many, many thanks and s to Piscator for running the classy and inspiring line-by-line challenge. As he mentioned in an earlier post it has produced a wealth of excellent poems that are diverse in form and content.
This forum can be a magical place and it's challenges like these that give us opportunities to shine, share and grow together. I'm sure y'all feel similarly, and I thank you all for keeping good poetry alive here. I'm so grateful for you poets!
s to Piscator for running the classy and inspiring line-by-line challenge. As he mentioned in an earlier post it has produced a wealth of excellent poems that are diverse in form and content. This forum can be a magical place and it's challenges like these that give us opportunities to shine, share and grow together. I'm sure y'all feel similarly, and I thank you all for keeping good poetry alive here. I'm so grateful for you poets!
29wordsforsnow
beyond thirty
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2019
- Posts
- 1,225
It was fun
in the winter
and the summer sun
so let's do that again
later
in the winter
and the summer sun
so let's do that again
later
HarryHill
Hairy fucker
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2012
- Posts
- 15,377
..
Some poets running loose on the gb.
forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=94405576&postcount=1031
...
Some poets running loose on the gb.
forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=94405576&postcount=1031
...
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