Litiquette IV

[Little_Sister]

you don't call, you don't write......oy, I was so horny

Fixed that for you.

 

[DarkSimian]

Fixed that for you.

thank you, my wascally little wabbit

 

[Lord Pmann]

The disappearance. You're chatting with someone over an extended period of time, weeks, months, and then one day they are no longer around. It's not like they've just stopped talking to you, it's like they vanished. You wonder if a spouse or partner has found out, if they've grown bored of you, or a maybe something happened to them. But you'll never know because they're just gone...

Now what? Are you upset? Is it just a part of Lit? Do you mourn? How do you handle the sudden disappearance?

I'm only upset if it's someone with whom I'm close and they just disappear. That has rarely happened. Most everyone normally says if they have to leave. Usually something along the lines of a "you've ruined every man for me" kind of thing. So I understand. I did have one person leave who I enjoyed talking to. She was really nice and she just quit logging in one day. She had a stalker or something (not me), so I suspect that's why.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

The disappearance. You're chatting with someone over an extended period of time, weeks, months, and then one day they are no longer around. It's not like they've just stopped talking to you, it's like they vanished. You wonder if a spouse or partner has found out, if they've grown bored of you, or a maybe something happened to them. But you'll never know because they're just gone...

Now what? Are you upset? Is it just a part of Lit? Do you mourn? How do you handle the sudden disappearance?

I've kind of done the disappearing thing myself so I understand that real life sometimes happens and it's not personal. For me I'm usually just busy with work. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt in that regard. Although it does indeed suck when people just suddenly ghost. So I try my best not to do it.

 

[Scout44]

Interesting question Papa.

For me, I don't worry about it, move on, think about them with fondness until I see them again.

Lit, for many including myself is for fun. It is me time, play time. If something IRL keeps me from having that time, I dont Lit. If I am just not feeling it (stress or otherwise) I don't Lit. I am not interested in being here, a place that should be fun, and being a Debbie downer so IMO it is better to stay away. The guy (or girl) who wants to cyber fuck me has no use for my RL drama. Here and RL are two very distinct places for me and RL will always take priority.

I think about Elli often and I love hearing through the grapevine she is well. AF said Suzanne left so I hope all is well with her as well.

Speaking of disappearing, nice to see you back around. I have always enjoyed you.
I am similar in that LIt is a fun place, so I try not to get stressed about it and realize that people have lives outside of this place, myself included. Having said, I suppose it depends on the relationship I have with a person...if we are close I would hope that I would warrant some sort of goodbye, but also understand the realities of life and that sometimes that is not possible, but like LS, I would wish them well and carry on.

 

[DarkSimian]

Speaking of disappearing, nice to see you back around. I have always enjoyed you.
I am similar in that LIt is a fun place, so I try not to get stressed about it and realize that people have lives outside of this place, myself included. Having said, I suppose it depends on the relationship I have with a person...if we are close I would hope that I would warrant some sort of goodbye, but also understand the realities of life and that sometimes that is not possible, but like LS, I would wish them well and carry on.

*glares at Scout* don't you get any ideas, young lady.....I just got LS back, no need for you to poof on me

 

[Scout44]

*glares at Scout* don't you get any ideas, young lady.....I just got LS back, no need for you to poof on me

Lol, you charmer...I am not planning of going anywhere just yet. In fact, I would stay because you just called me young lady

 

[DarkSimian]

Lol, you charmer...I am not planning of going anywhere just yet, in fact I would stay based on the fact you just called me young lady

well, you have the boobs of a....of a....boobs....what was I saying?

 

[SMNaughtywife]

Agree, nicely said and high five to you guys/ladies above me.
I have a mild case of carefree dallaying going on today.

 

[cascadiabound]

The disappearance. You're chatting with someone over an extended period of time, weeks, months, and then one day they are no longer around. It's not like they've just stopped talking to you, it's like they vanished. You wonder if a spouse or partner has found out, if they've grown bored of you, or a maybe something happened to them. But you'll never know because they're just gone...

Now what? Are you upset? Is it just a part of Lit? Do you mourn? How do you handle the sudden disappearance?

I worry. And I mourn a little.
After awhile I get over it. But there is still a worry in the back of my mind. I can't ever really shake it. I reach out to them from time to time. I wonder how they are. I wish them well.
I really dislike sudden disappearing acts. Even when announced. They are painful for me.
I guess I need to come to terms with it being part of Lit.
A part of Lit that sucks .

 

[ChainedUp]

LS Back around and this thread didn't fill with porn. The full moon was last night, is there a carryover affect? Only thing I can think of.

 

[JennyNo1]

The disappearance. You're chatting with someone over an extended period of time, weeks, months, and then one day they are no longer around. It's not like they've just stopped talking to you, it's like they vanished. You wonder if a spouse or partner has found out, if they've grown bored of you, or a maybe something happened to them. But you'll never know because they're just gone...

Now what? Are you upset? Is it just a part of Lit? Do you mourn? How do you handle the sudden disappearance?

Why, yes, this has happened on many an occasion, here and in RL. Here I don't get hyper about it; I just feel the tiniest bit, ummmmm.....used. Inevitably other people mention that person doing the same sort of thing to them, or to lots of other people. So I know it's nothing personal.

In RL, or even here if it's someone I've become good friends with, it's different. I do tend to worry and attempt to at least find out if they're okay. If they are, then I chalk it up to them losing interest and move on.

 

[ChainedUp]

Do other people being out the good in you? Assuming that they do, why does it require "other people" to bring out that goodness? Why aren't we able to allow the good within to come out on its own? Is it validation, is it vanity, is it fear?

 

[TheSilverLining]

Do other people being out the good in you? Assuming that they do, why does it require "other people" to bring out that goodness? Why aren't we able to allow the good within to come out on its own? Is it validation, is it vanity, is it fear?

Other people bring out the worst in me.
Seriously, I'm socially-challenged.
I'm at my best when I'm alone....away from other people.

 

[LWulf]

I believe the phrase "Brings out the best in you" stems from the idea that someone makes a quality you have more apparent. That said, do you need the other person to have that quality? No, because it's always been there.

I think it's another way of saying that you and another person "work well together."

Jerry Lewis is funny, but Dean Martin playing the 'straight man' makes Lewis' humor more apparent, and thus he seems funnier.

I have "worked well with other people" before (at a job, or in a relationship) but rarely does the other person/people seem to see it or recognize it, and therefore they move on. Do I need other people to make my qualities more apparent? No, but it's nice when I (we) do.

Likewise "brings out the worst in you" means your worst qualities are already there, but in that regard, a catalyst is usually necessary as it means "you don't work well with others."

 

[Lord Pmann]

Some people do bring out the good in me. Some people do not. I may fight to the death for someone who I feel does that.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Do other people being out the good in you? Assuming that they do, why does it require "other people" to bring out that goodness? Why aren't we able to allow the good within to come out on its own? Is it validation, is it vanity, is it fear?

The goodness within me (which I hope I manifest often) is independent of other people. Other people rarely have the ability to make me behave in a way inconsistent with that good. (I'm human, it does happen).

I think the saying is "bring out the best in you" because it's in our interactions with others that we get the opportunity to demonstrate our values. A little deeper than that, I've always interpreted the saying mean something more along the lines of other people can push us to try harder, to be more creative, to be more focused - a teaming effect. There is definitely a strong validation effect there. The external reference point focuses us on the goal and provides a measurement point for our own behaviors.

 

[Little_Sister]

LS Back around and this thread didn't fill with porn. The full moon was last night, is there a carryover affect? Only thing I can think of.

That sounds like a big ass dare to me.

ITA with Rainshine and Paul.

Now if the question was... do certain people bring out your kinky side... The answer would be different because there are only a handful of people that can handle my kind of kinky.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

That sounds like a big ass dare to me.

ITA with Rainshine and Paul.

Now if the question was... do certain people bring out your kinky side... The answer would be different because there are only a handful of people that can handle my kind of kinky.

Such a kinky little firecracker! Love it.

I'm going with LS question, sorry Chained.
Oh hell yes, certain people bring out my wild and "oh yes I would do that!"
I like teasing someone on the multiple ways I'd love to corrupt his wife. Teasing and toying with her, making her beg because I have her tied up and ...oh the list could go on. I'm super creative and it drives him bat shit crazy. Brings out my bi-curious and gets me in a little lust filled tizzy too.

 

[ChainedUp]

When it rains, it pours. Does it? What about sprinkles, or just a light rain?

Do things happen in bunches? I tend to think not. It's the yellow stripe car syndrome, you buy a car with a yellow stripe and you'll begin to notice all the other yellow stripe cars in the road (yes, there's an official term for this but I'm too lazy this morning to look it up and appear smarter than I am )

But then again, you can't have it pour if the first drop never falls.

So the question? Is perception really reality? Or is reality just reality and our perceptions are what make us human?

 

[beachbaby179]

A little of both, I think. That yellow stripe syndrome you speak of is a real thing. So we do tend to notice things more, even if they've always been there. But I think that we are also so exposed to everything more, with 24 hour news, the internet, and instant access to everything around the globe, that we really do hear about more things than we would have even 20 years ago. So now in news stories, with all the online research capabilities they have, you often see "this is the 24th time this has happened in the past year" or "similar to what happened in Oshkosh Wisconsin last month" and the connections are easily made for us. My two cents...

 

[ChainedUp]

Someone's been eating the funny mushies again....

I've got more

 

[Lord Pmann]

The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon. That's what it's called in its proper sense.

I don't quite understand the question because I think Papa C was higher than giraffe when he wrote it. However, I do think it is an interesting thing that happens. Sometimes it can be something trivial. My boss had never heard of salted caramel before until we were at a restaurant that had it and we discussed it. Then, he texted me three times over the next couple of days saying he had seen it. Well, it wasn't that it hadn't been around. He just hadn't been made aware of it.

It can also go a bit deeper with people. Say you really like someone and something reminds them of you. Like, maybe every time you see a big, long, rigid object you think of me. It's not that you didn't see them before, but now that you all think of me non stop, it may seem like you see them ore often. But it's usually when someone or something is put as a priority in the mind's eye that you begin to see things that make you think of them. When someone occupies that space with such dominance, you're bound to see it more. You're not encountering things more frequently. You're just made aware of it.

 

[Scout44]

The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon. That's what it's called in its proper sense.

I don't quite understand the question because I think Papa C was higher than giraffe when he wrote it.

It can also go a bit deeper with people. Say you really like someone and something reminds them of you. Like, maybe every time you see a big, long, rigid object you think of me. It's not that you didn't see them before, but now that you all think of me non stop, it may seem like you see them ore often. But it's usually when someone or something is put as a priority in the mind's eye that you begin to see things that make you think of them. When someone occupies that space with such dominance, you're bound to see it more. You're not encountering things more frequently. You're just made aware of it.

This, well except for the big, long, rigid object thing..but otherwise pretty bang on.

 

[LWulf]

Rephrased: Does perception alter reality? Is reality just that and our perceptions are what make us human?

(No, the arrow in my avatar isn't pointing at the quote)

Ever since I left Hogwarts, reality is totally what I want to make of it. *nods*

...No. It's our perception that changes.

Here's something interesting: Have you ever experienced where things seemed to be happening in slow motion? It's kind of common. There was a TV program about the phenomenon on The Discovery Channel, I think. What happens is that something happens in our brains that takes a standard minute (that's imperial units not metric units) for instance, and instead of 60 seconds, we experience a minute as if there are 120 seconds. However, since a minute still has 60 seconds in it, we sense or feel like there is much more time.

There isn't a lot to explain why or how it happens, because they have only recently come to accept it happens. Even then, they don't believe that our minds warp reality, though that is a question they asked during the program.

Edited: Another similar phenomenon is Déjà vu. Accordingly, what happens is our dominant eye sees information at a faster rate than the other eye and we get a double impact of seeing something twice.

In both instances; Perception follows reality, not the other way around