Long time lesbian...now I'm confused.

[gingermango]

You know you love me...and your wife would too.

Don't worry, dear. I know MY wife would love you.

 

[DG_Heracles]

You know you love me...and your wife would too.

Think of the possibilities! I have mentioned before, my wife is less inhibited than I am; I am way uptight compared to her.

 

[chun_gong]

Think of the possibilities! I have mentioned before, my wife is less inhibited than I am; I am way uptight compared to her.

Holy SHIT!

 

[DG_Heracles]

Holy SHIT!

Yep

 

[SophiaY]

The only I could add is if you do go this route, condoms should be the rule -- regardless of who, where, and why.

(and yes, I would be one of the older women who would go off their tea)

 

[DG_Heracles]

The only I could add is if you do go this route, condoms should be the rule -- regardless of who, where, and why.

(and yes, I would be one of the older women who would go off their tea)

Why is that? Why would the desire for exploration cause someone to "go off their tea"? This is not an attack or challenge in any way, I am honestly curious.

 

[Jess19]

just take it easy

just take it easy. labels are such bad things.

Jess

 

[Etoile]

Chun_gong and PredatorSmile. you'll have to turn in your lesbian credentials at the door on your way out. We can't have any cock sucking in the clubhouse, it upsets the newcomers and it puts some of the older women off their tea. Sorry, but you knew the rules when you signed up. This kind of behaviour simply will not do.

Unless it's dyke cocksucking, of course! I have seen some HOT girl-on-girl cocksucking scenes. I've even been involved in at least one. Oh yeah!

Out of curiosity, c_g, are you certain it's biological men you're interested in? Or is it just the phallus? If the latter, have you thought about having your partner strap one on? If that's not what you're into, that's fine - just wondering if it's something you've thought about.

 

[Wolfman1982]

Unless it's dyke cocksucking, of course! I have seen some HOT girl-on-girl cocksucking scenes. I've even been involved in at least one. Oh yeah!

Out of curiosity, c_g, are you certain it's biological men you're interested in? Or is it just the phallus? If the latter, have you thought about having your partner strap one on? If that's not what you're into, that's fine - just wondering if it's something you've thought about.

Etolie: I think she is thinking of a real cock, not just the phallus.

 

[Etoile]

Etolie: I think she is thinking of a real cock, not just the phallus.

I think so too, but let's see what she says.

 

[Wolfman1982]

I think so too, but let's see what she says.

Yeah but I would bet it is about the penis

 

[chun_gong]

Unless it's dyke cocksucking, of course! I have seen some HOT girl-on-girl cocksucking scenes. I've even been involved in at least one. Oh yeah!

Out of curiosity, c_g, are you certain it's biological men you're interested in? Or is it just the phallus? If the latter, have you thought about having your partner strap one on? If that's not what you're into, that's fine - just wondering if it's something you've thought about.

Yeah, I'm POSITIVE. Toys are fun, occasionally...but they really aren't my cup of tea. I sure don't want to suck one unless it is giving the 'voyeur' pleasure. And, I just don't enjoy strap-ons in any way, shape, or form. Dunno what it is - I just always prefer that whoever it is can feel me back.

Great suggestion though. Sometimes it is hard for people to see the forest for the trees - great insight!

Oh and to be more graphic for everyone else - it's about the cum and the pulsing, hot, cock.

 

[angelstar123]

This is where I hang my head in shame. No, we haven't talked about guys. In our "circle", being with a guy is the ULTIMATE betrayal. Everyone is so "about the love" that primal sexual urges are ignored or denied if they involve men. At least IMO. It's like a radical feminist cult that lets male friends in - preferably gay male friends, lol. I didn't really ever think about it that way until I found myself in this so-called situation. (My sexually uninhibited self has been denied for a LONG time!)

So, no, I really DON'T have a choice...not a good one anyway. The risks of getting caught having "flings" are HUGE!!! That ties me up pretty tight - I think that is why this whole concept is so gut-wrenching. Otherwise, I'd probably just "do my thing".

Our communication has been shut-down somewhat as she has been out of the country for the better part of 7 months (2 of which I was over there). We will most likely be MOVING out of the country within the next 6 months. So, it's just the two of us. We have built a great home together... It sounds like I am torn between my sexual side and my emotional side. For some reason they have never come together in my live. At least not for longer than 3 years or so.

You are correct, I believe that I have that misconception about the term "bi". I doknow that people do have a (slight) preference for one sex or the other. I mean, LBGT does have a B in it for a reason. My screw-up with it goes back to that "betrayal" thing that I mentioned before. It would help if I had bi friends or lesbian identified bi's, more specifically. Does that make sense? We practice what we know & stick to what is familiar and simple. The "easy" way just isn't the best way for me, so I'm finding out.

I'm strictly into the physical part of men. Don't get me wrong, I have male friends...but you know what I mean. And, resorting to strictly toys doesn't quite do it for me. I like something to actually feel me back. Plus, giving head to a dildo isn't really that fun. lol

Geez, I feel like I am in therapy! ((I hope that I haven't offended anyone by not expressing my thoughts correctly. If there are rants, please ask questions first. Chances are I just need to communicate more clearly.)) Thanks for the thoughts and making me think, Luna!

You didnt offend me at all. Hell its nice to know that I am not the only one. My partner does know about the feelings that I am having as far as men are concerned. She seems ok talking about it. I did assure her that i would never cheat on her. I dont ruin my relationship with her either. As far as the lable thing, I was starting to wonder about that also. Strange thing is, isnt it interesting how a married could get into a sexual relationship with another and still be classified as straight, but we as lesbians can not have sex with me on occassion under the same pretense. I know that its a lable issue. If you manage to get help figuring this out, let me know. thanks angelstar

 

[John Doe]

Bullshit.

 

[DG_Heracles]

Bullshit.

What is bullshit? There are 30 different things you could be referring to.

 

[Wolfman1982]

What is bullshit? There are 30 different things you could be referring to.

Think of Stuponfucious as a little childish noob, who has a grudge against women. So he can babble to all how much everybody is an arsehole etc.

 

[chun_gong]

Think of Stuponfucious as a little childish noob, who has a grudge against women. So he can babble to all how much everybody is an arsehole etc.

LMAO And I NEVER say that figuratively - it is always literal.

Strange thing is, isnt it interesting how a married could get into a sexual relationship with another and still be classified as straight, but we as lesbians can not have sex with me on occassion under the same pretense.

WOW - now that's cool!!! That is why I opened this discussion up. It is so fucking cool to see what everyone can think of. Yes, that is strange. I like the way you think.

Yes, everyone, I have pissed and moaned about labels...but I'm sticking with bi-curious lesbian. Or if you have seen my question under BDSM, I'm working on something for that too.... bi-curious lesbian 'pyl' with a male 'PYL' - that's not good, so any help would be appreciated. HAHAHAHA I'm covering all of my futere options & possible interests in one swoop.

 

[gingermango]

Yes, everyone, I have pissed and moaned about labels...but I'm sticking with bi-curious lesbian. Or if you have seen my question under BDSM, I'm working on something for that too.... bi-curious lesbian 'pyl' with a male 'PYL' - that's not good, so any help would be appreciated. HAHAHAHA I'm covering all of my futere options & possible interests in one swoop.

I know you're joking, but the last couple the Goddess and I played with involved a lovely and VERY talented young woman who would fit your description. She had been a self-professed lesbian since early in her teens until she discovered that she gave into curiosity and tried being sub to a man and (*gasp!*) liked it. Now she just says she's bi, enjoys whoever and whatever she wants, and pretty much tells anyone who doesn't like it to piss off. She lives with her boyfriend/dom in a regular relationship like any other engaged couple, gets together with like-minded friends for some good orgiastic fun when they both feel like it, and no one really cares what she calls herself.

 

[PredatorSmile]

I've watched this thread for days and sometimes I smiled, other times I shook my head. So, you're a lesbian who finds herself somewhat curious about men ? Well, I was in your shoes a while ago. I've only had relationships with girls, and then suddenly found myself attracted to a boy. Not just any boy, a straight-laced macho jock ( who was secretly bisexual). We began hanging out and later dated. I'm in love with him and we're getting a place together after my graduation. He's still a junior in college. I'm a senior. I gotta tell you that my feelings for him surprised me. Try being the dykiest dyke at school and the VP of the GLBT Alliance and then falling in love with a guy...I lost friends. My gay guys didn't care. My lesbian friends treated me the way Hitler treated his
fallen enemies...coldly and mercilessly. It hurt my feelings. But I got over it. I made new friends. I now identify as bi and I am STILL the GLBT Alliance Vice President !!!!

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I don't think labels really matter. In this instance what matters is whether or not her primary relationship partner can handle the fact that she finds the idea of a cock sexually arousing. I know most of my lesbian friends have looked upon me with utter disdain (at times) when I refused to give up playing with boys.

I am not sure what all the fuss is concerning labels..but I do know that what should be more important than deciding what to call yourself is whether or not you can still call the one you love...lover.

(At least that's my take on it after 33 years and many BDSM/vanilla/Hetero/Gay relationships.)

 

[PredatorSmile]

I don't think labels really matter. In this instance what matters is whether or not her primary relationship partner can handle the fact that she finds the idea of a cock sexually arousing. I know most of my lesbian friends have looked upon me with utter disdain (at times) when I refused to give up playing with boys.

I am not sure what all the fuss is concerning labels..but I do know that what should be more important than deciding what to call yourself is whether or not you can still call the one you love...lover.

(At least that's my take on it after 33 years and many BDSM/vanilla/Hetero/Gay relationships.)

I agree with you, Luna. The thing is that the gay/lesbian community can be as rigidly set against people who break the norm ( sleeping with or being attracted to the opposite sex) as heterosexuals are rigidly set against those who like the same sex or both sexes. I went through it myself. It was a tough time for me. I faced scrutiny. They wanted me to give up my seat as VP of the GLBT Alliance at school. Only a gay male friend stood by me. He was the president. Women I've known throughout my entire college career treated me like a social pariah. Oh, yeah. I just love who I love. I haven't stopped being attracted to women just because I am in love with a man. I'm just....who I am.

 

[Wolfman1982]

chun_gong: If I wasn´t living so far away, I would love to meet you

And chun_gong just be yourself, and if you L O V E sucking cock, then fine I just think it is better to be honest about it all, than having double standards.

And what is it about that kind of (sorry for going a bit insane) lesbian circle thing ? the "thing" was also in the movie Chasing Amy, and I don´t understand it really....

is it something to do with 1969ísh freelove movement from Denmark or what ? sorry it just baffles me a bit.

the only circle I think of is something else, and that is your circle of friends, and not a knitting group. Sorry, can any one explain it to me ? since it baffles a bit.

 

[PredatorSmile]

chun_gong: If I wasn´t living so far away, I would love to meet you

And chun_gong just be yourself, and if you L O V E sucking cock, then fine I just think it is better to be honest about it all, than having double standards.

And what is it about that kind of (sorry for going a bit insane) lesbian circle thing ? the "thing" was also in the movie Chasing Amy, and I don´t understand it really....

is it something to do with 1969ísh freelove movement from Denmark or what ? sorry it just baffles me a bit.

the only circle I think of is something else, and that is your circle of friends, and not a knitting group. Sorry, can any one explain it to me ? since it baffles a bit.

The circle are your friends. When you're gay or lesbian, often your familym rejects you and you must find family in other places. Your 'friends' become sort of like a second family. They are there for you ( or are supposed to be) and they are your shield and entourage against a hostile
world. you DONT want to lose that. Its a community and there are rules.
Sleeping with the opposite sex is a no-no in the gay/lesbian world. As big a no-no as sleeping with the same sex is in the straight world. Hope you get it now, Wolfie. For feeling or acting different, she has incurred their
wrath. They may even isolate her or distance themselves from her.

 

[chun_gong]

All right, all right, all right! I'm gonna get totally bashed over this - so wtf.

Okay, people who have gotten to know me on here understand my take on the whole thread I started and the fifty-million things that I have opened it up to. I over-explain so that people can understand & then my words come back to bite me in the ass. And, come to think of it, since I have been all over the place I'm going to talk in circles for a minute.

Okie dokie. At this point: THE LABEL THING IS A JOKE!!! A BIG HUGE JOKE!!! Geez o'pete. I abhor labels generally speaking. However, I will reiterate: sometimes it's easy to look at someone and just say "I'm a dyke". (Which I have done.) That's better than a lengthy "I'm a woman, I date women, oh and that is the only kind of person I will ever love. blah, blah, blah" It doesn't matter - it's still funny.

Guess what - NOBODY EVER HAS TO DEFINE OR JUSTIFY THEMSELVES!!! (but I'm going to for a minute - no matter how futile my attempt may be) Oh, and sometimes, I like to define myself just for the hell of it...when nobody has asked me a thing.

Now, some of what I have said echoes the sentiments of my fellow "lesbian itentified" posters on here - their "lesbian identified" friends get pissed. There are people on here who have gone 20 years without their spouse knowing about their kink or lover or whatever. I have my reasons to not have discussed this with my partner as of yet. She also doesn't know that I read erotica. SO...let's just pretend (for the sake of everyone who worries about my relationship) I'm single. From here on out, that is the stipulation when referring to me - you don't know that I have a mate. My questions in that area have been answered. Feel free to answer these questions to others, but please leave me out of it now. Thank you. I have thanked some of you before for supporting me when it comes to when and how to have these discussions & I still stand by those thanks! It has been helpful.

I can appreciate the importance of fidelity to those of you who have been loud and clear. That is awesome. I haven't done anything wrong yet - FYI. Just because I am curious or have unshared thoughts doesn't make me wrong... Will I or won't I act on anything I have mentioned? I dunno - do you? Come to think of it, who judges and sets the right/wrong standard? That came out of left field, nevermind.

We all are...just who we are.

I will define myself one main way - that is as a person with a sense of humor.

There are so many valuable posts on this thread. Some serious, some in jest. Experience is what we all have put together. People have brought up just life things that have never occurred to me - and to some of you either. Others have chimed in with a similar question to mine. This has been a great thread.

Let's just keep it fun and keep learning, please.


oh and wolfman - hee hee I'm baffled too - but it's this mean, cruel thing where they put you in a circle and have rocks in a bag...ready to hit you with it if you decide to step outside.

 

[Wolfman1982]

oh and wolfman - hee hee I'm baffled too - but it's this mean, cruel thing where they put you in a circle and have rocks in a bag...ready to hit you with it if you decide to step outside.

LOL

if they ever do that, then let the person who has no sin, throw the first rock. And screw them I would love to protect you

chun_gong: I think you are a cool lady/woman/girl/female creature etc.