Lord Pmann Wants to Discuss Weird Sex Stuff

[hotwords229_A]

I’m not sure what to say here. Fascinating.

Do you think you’d ever try a cow milker? For science.

Certainly not. Probably not. Well . . .

Honestly, I turned the Shop Vac on for about three seconds and totally panicked when it sucked me in. I can honestly say my life flashed before my eyes. Three seconds of crippling fear followed by unbridled relief to see it come out intact.

Pmann is much braver than I.

 

[Photog1rl]

I’m not sure what to say here. Fascinating.

Do you think you’d ever try a cow milker? For science.

I love how much we all enjoy science.

 

[hotwords229_A]

If you type in “Shop Vac Penis” you get a lot of penis pump results. Which, in turn, could lead one to think they are basically the same thing.

The internet is a dangerous place!

I did, however, find an article that said this:

"The fact that five patients were found to have vacuum cleaner injuries to the penis in the past twenty years in a town of approximately 50,000 persons suggests that this may be a more common injury than was supposed. Most patients will attempt to fabricate a plausible story to explain their penile injury, but the majority, on closer questioning, will eventually relate the truth. Perhaps the true cause of many penile injuries goes unrecorded in busy metropolitan emergency rooms, and this may account for the paucity of reported cases."

I would love to hear some of the “attempt(s) to fabricate a plausible story”. I bet that could make a great coffee table book.

I wonder what story I would fabricate to explain that?

 

[Photog1rl]

I wonder what story I would fabricate to explain that?

I feel like they may rival the ones people use to explain the uncommon items stuck in their rectums. Oh to work in an ER.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I feel like they may rival the ones people use to explain the uncommon items stuck in their rectums. Oh to work in an ER.

You know there is at least one guy out there who had both, the rectum AND the vacuum injury!

 

[LadyLascivious1]

You know there is at least one guy out there who had both, the rectum AND the vacuum injury!

Is that man Pmann?

 

[Photog1rl]

Is that man Pmann?

Do you think he will give us a story time?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I’m not sure what to say here. Fascinating.

Do you think you’d ever try a cow milker? For science.

I have an old breast pump lying around that could be used as a warm up

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

Do you think you’d ever try a cow milker? For science.

Absolutely not. Wayyyy too much suction. There's no way it wouldn't pull the skin around the groin SO hard

 

[Apisto42]

I have an old breast pump lying around that could be used as a warm up

After watching what a breast pump did to my wife’s nipples, there’s no fucking way I’m hooking anything with suction up to my tool.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

After watching what a breast pump did to my wife’s nipples, there’s no fucking way I’m hooking anything with suction up to my tool.

Quitting blow jobs seems a bit extreme

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

After watching what a breast pump did to my wife’s nipples, there’s no fucking way I’m hooking anything with suction up to my tool.

Brings new meaning to the let down

 

[hotwords229_A]

There is a device called the Venus 2000, which is, apparently, a blowjob machine.
Whoever gets me in the Secret Santa . . .

 

[Apisto42]

Quitting blow jobs seems a bit extreme

Big big difference betwixt a machine and a soft, wet, mouth.

 

[Apisto42]

There is a device called the Venus 2000, which is, apparently, a blowjob machine.
Whoever gets me in the Secret Santa . . .

I could go for that!

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Big big difference betwixt a machine and a soft, wet, mouth.

So I'm still out cause my mouth sucks like a machine?

 

[AuntieDisco]

There is a device called the Venus 2000, which is, apparently, a blowjob machine.
Whoever gets me in the Secret Santa . . .

Is he blindfolded because he wants his mind to believe that it’s a woman?

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

So I'm still out cause my mouth sucks like a machine?

Did you ever get that golf ball through the garden hose?

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

Is he blindfolded because he wants his mind to believe that it’s a woman?

Maybe he wants the sensory deprivation so he can focus on the physical sensation? Maybe I'm projecting?

 

[AuntieDisco]

So I'm still out cause my mouth sucks like a machine?

I will actually pay to watch that theory play out

 

[Apisto42]

So I'm still out cause my mouth sucks like a machine?

No, you’re out because my dick can’t reach across the country.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Did you ever get that golf ball through the garden hose?

1) I have better things to suck than garden hoses

2) why would I want to choke on a golf ball?

3) if this is a euphemism, I'm concerned about why there's a golf ball in your garden hose

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

No, you’re out because my dick can’t reach across the country.

...yet

 

[AuntieDisco]

Maybe he wants the sensory deprivation so he can focus on the physical sensation? Maybe I'm projecting?

And that’s fine but I wouldn’t want to try it out in the chair if I had the hardware to get the wholesome experience

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

1) I have better things to suck than garden hoses

Alright, alright, you don't have to brag about it. I've seen it, I get it

2) why would I want to choke on a golf ball?

#humblebrag

3) if this is a euphemism, I'm concerned about why there's a golf ball in your garden hose

How else am I supposed to get the kidney stones out?