Naughty quotes

[misfortunex]

No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy - (Henry Kissinger)

 

[misfortunex]

Crime of passion is a phrase that drives me crazy. A man murdering his girlfriend is not a crime of passion. Premature ejaculation- that's a crime of passion - Hellura Lyle

 

[glasspenguin]

"I want to take you in the backseat now,
And slowly drive you home..."
- from Did I Say That? by Meat Loaf

 

[PenforPrez]

"And I was at a show the other night and somebody yelled out, 'FUCK JOAN RIVERS!!'

"And I was, like, going, 'Well. . .I would.' I know me, I know me! I'd like to say no. But I would, I'd do her.

"Come on, some of us have done worse guys, you know? 'I was alone at her house, you know, we were drunk, some stoli. Some pictures of her naked with her face down. . . .' I'd fucking do it! I didn't mean to, probably feel bad about it later."

--Sam Kinison

 

[snakebyte]

"And I was at a show the other night and somebody yelled out, 'FUCK JOAN RIVERS!!'

"And I was, like, going, 'Well. . .I would.' I know me, I know me! I'd like to say no. But I would, I'd do her.

"Come on, some of us have done worse guys, you know? 'I was alone at her house, you know, we were drunk, some stoli. Some pictures of her naked with her face down. . . .' I'd fucking do it! I didn't mean to, probably feel bad about it later."

--Sam Kinison

GOD BLESS SAM KINISON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[glasspenguin]

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

 

[Malerik]

Something a co-worker said to me one day, had me cracking up while trying to stay cool on the job:

"Look at that chick over there. What do you think? I wouldn't bang her, but I'd nut on her face."

 

[Inrhapsody]

Something a co-worker said to me one day, had me cracking up while trying to stay cool on the job:

"Look at that chick over there. What do you think? I wouldn't bang her, but I'd nut on her face."

ewwwwwww....so guy like!!!! *rolls eyes

 

[desideratum]

“The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.”
~ Woody Allen

 

[Inrhapsody]

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe --Jackie Mason

 

[Inrhapsody]

not so naughty but so true

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

[glasspenguin]

"For me, love is very deep, but sex only has to go a few inches."
-Stacy Nelkin

 

[Inrhapsody]

Sex and beauty are inseparable, like life and consciousness. And the intelligence which goes with sex and beauty, and arises out of sex and beauty, is intuition. --David Herbert Lawrence

 

[Inrhapsody]

"Perfect love is rare indeed -
for to be a lover will require that you continually
have the subtlety of the very wise,
the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist,
the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint,
the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain."
...Leo Buscaglia

 

[PenforPrez]

"I went up to a bartender, I said, 'Surprise me.' He showed me a naked picture of my wife!"

--Rodney Dangerfield

 

[PenforPrez]

"Sex on television can't hurt you--unless you fall off." --George Burns

 

[PenforPrez]

"At my age, I want two girls at once--if I fall asleep, they got each other to talk to!" -- Rodney Dangerfield

 

[snakebyte]

Pen I love that you bring out these classic comedians bits.

 

[Inrhapsody]

"At my age, I want two girls at once--if I fall asleep, they got each other to talk to!" -- Rodney Dangerfield

good one....hahaha

 

[PenforPrez]

Pen I love that you bring out these classic comedians bits.

Thank you. I have way too much free time.

"What I was doing, I was just cele-celebrating a little something, and I think I might have carried it a little too far.

"I was celebrating the fact that just yesterday-yesterday morning, I became the father of a six-pound baby girl, and I know I'm gonna catch heck if my wife finds out about it!"

--Foster Brooks

 

[Morrigu]

A dirty book is rarely dusty. ~ Author Unknown

 

[Morrigu]

The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes ~ Scott Roeben

 

[PenforPrez]

"Have you ever heard a Frenchman count? 65, 66, 67, 68, , 70, 71. . . ."

--Redd Foxx

 

[Vikarius]

"Get off the table, Mabel,
The dollar is for the beer."

from old drinking song

 

[PenforPrez]

"You see, heaven is you and a beautiful broad, built like a brick shipyard. Taking a shower in your place. . .and you got a bunch of money in your pants, a bunch of money in the bank, and a crowd of money hid from the go'ment, that's heaven.

"Now see, hell is you and a ugly broad, neither of you washed up and y'all broke. That's HELL!"

--Redd Foxx