Naughty quotes

[snakebyte]

"At least you can thank me I'm the one that beat him off for you, I mean chased him away."

Spike
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

 

[Inrhapsody]

Guys Are Like Roses Watch Out For The Pricks

 

[Inrhapsody]

Heaven won't have me and hells afraid i'll take over!

 

[Inrhapsody]

If you're naughty go to your room..
If you wanna be naughty, go to mine

 

[PenforPrez]

"I was dancing with a woman, she told me she had a yeast infection. I said, 'Well bake me a fucking loaf of bread!'" -- George Carlin

 

[Inrhapsody]

"I was dancing with a woman, she told me she had a yeast infection. I said, 'Well bake me a fucking loaf of bread!'" -- George Carlin

ewwwwwwwwwwwwww....roflmao

 

[Inrhapsody]

"If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun," Katharine Hepburn

 

[texasace]

The height of conceit... Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

 

[Inrhapsody]

The height of conceit... Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

That is conceit!!!

 

[texasace]

The difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball... A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

 

[curvywetness]

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." ~ Robin Williams

 

[texasace]

I know that it is supposed to be a joke.... But please believe me... NO STATEMENT HAS EVER BEEN MORE TRUE!!!!! I am living proof... just ask me...

 

[PenforPrez]

"I'm very upset with John Holmes because I think he blew a very brilliant fucking career. He had the biggest dick in the world, he had the best job in the fucking world. You don't get a better job than that! His job was he went down and he fucked four or five women a day that he never met before. You don't call in sick at a job like that! If you are sick, you don't call in sick!

"'(cough cough)No, no don't worry man, I can make it. (cough cough) No, don't start without me!'"

--Sam Kinison

 

[glasspenguin]

"You can't put tits and ass on the marquee!...Why not?...Because it's dirty and vulgar, that's why not!... Titties are dirty and vulgar?...Okay, we'll compromise. How about Latin? Gluteus maximus, pectoralis majors nightly...That's alright, that's clean, class with ass, I'll buy it...Clean to you, schmuck, but dirty to the Latins!"
-Lenny Bruce

(how have we not had any Lenny on here yet?)

 

[Daizie]

"If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing slowly ... very slowly."

-- Gypsy Rose Lee

 

[Inrhapsody]

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship. (Sharon Stone)

 

[Inrhapsody]

But seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already. (Waiter Rant)

 

[Morrigu]

When somebody gives you a sexy look, you know they're trying. It's terrible! But when you smile, it's so much sexier!
- Joseph Addison

 

[PenforPrez]

"They told me about a lady sheriff in Texas--had the biggest posse in America. And I didn't believe it. So I went down there to Houston to the museum, and they got pictures of her posse.

"Now I want to tell you, I've seen some posses in my time. But she had the biggest posse I've ever seen in my life!" --Redd Foxx

 

[Vikarius]

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. ~ John Waters

 

[Inrhapsody]

Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and
what clothes we wear.

But what we are inside .. So, try going out naked
tomorrow and see the admiration!

 

[MSH2]

"My sanity, like my virginity, is a thing I never found a use for." Oscar Wilde

 

[glasspenguin]

"Fuck you." Never understood that insult, because fucking someone is actually really pleasant. If we're trying to be mean, we should say "unfuck you!"
-Lenny Bruce

 

[PenforPrez]

"If you would tell the truth, everyone here says 'shit.' If you never said 'shit' before, come on out to the parking lot with me, and let me slam my car door on your hand. You'll say 'shit' and 'motherfucker.'

"'SHIT MOTHERFUCKER!!' That's a normal reaction uptown."

--Redd Foxx

 

[misfortunex]

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL - (Lynn Lavner)