NC needs creative Help

[Sean Renaud]

Do me a favor, the charachter List and episode list in addition to posting them here can we edit your original post sot hat when ever i need to remember who the hell this person or that person is or see if I need to create something of if we've already got one that I can just click to page one instead of digging through this?

I'll see what I can put together for episode 6, I take it you'll be taking out seven while I work on this?

 

[NiteCrowe]

more or less, yes....


the first bit...what do you mean?

 

[Sean Renaud]

Just when it comes to the story synopsis and charachters it needs to be easy to find. I know there is a paragraph on Blaize around here some place but there are 10 pages of posts to read through to find it..

 

[NiteCrowe]

I know what you mean.
And as such I intend to make a thread, the sole purpose of which will be to act as a database for the characters and episodes ect.

That should be sorted in about a day or 2.

as for blaize, i was just looking it up a min ago..i think it's a page 3 or 4 one.

 

[NiteCrowe]

Just made the database....you can access it by clicking on the link in my signiture.

One rule though! - Only I post on the database, that way, theres no confusion...any problems, let me know.

And yes i know its extremely incomplete, but i guess that it should be upto speed within the next 2 days as i finish my own personal filing on it lol.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Thank you.


Villain
Name: Blaize Harmon

Description: 5'9 Long dark red hair, smooth creamy skin and amber coloured eyes. Blaize is strong and well toned. Due to one of the experiments her fathers corporation was working on she can cover her entire body in armor with thought.

Background: Very very rich thanks to Daddy and his less than squeaky clean business deals. Fronted by a massive Technological Corporation that makes everything from computers to prototypes for future products civilian and military. Daddy however also sold on the black market earning his revenue from legitimate deals twice over in shady ones. At one point the corporation was working on a new project for the Defense Force for an "Auto-Response Shield" By injecting the human subject with combination of metals and nanobots the subject could then concentrate and cause the metals to come to the surface of their skin and join to form a shield over the person's whole body. Unfortunately Blaize went to see her father one night and fell into a vat of the metals and nanobots.

Thanks to her fathers criminal deals he was brought down in a huge bust headed up by Nate's parents. However he was not arrested having been shot numerous times in the cross fire.

Blaize is now on a mission to destroy Nate. His parents took her father and as his parents are dead he will have to pay the price.

Thanks to her billions of dollars she has unlimited gadgets at her disposal and unlimited funds to go about her hunt.

****************

Oh god can we change the fact that she tripped, fell and landed in a vat of pure awesome? I must have been feeling generous or something when I read this. I like her basic concept I'm just not feeling her back story, of course I suppose that's not very important or can be left for later, what's important is the motivation for her fighting Nate anyway.

 

[NiteCrowe]

Thank you.


Villain
Name: Blaize Harmon

Description: 5'9 Long dark red hair, smooth creamy skin and amber coloured eyes. Blaize is strong and well toned. Due to one of the experiments her fathers corporation was working on she can cover her entire body in armor with thought.

Background: Very very rich thanks to Daddy and his less than squeaky clean business deals. Fronted by a massive Technological Corporation that makes everything from computers to prototypes for future products civilian and military. Daddy however also sold on the black market earning his revenue from legitimate deals twice over in shady ones. At one point the corporation was working on a new project for the Defense Force for an "Auto-Response Shield" By injecting the human subject with combination of metals and nanobots the subject could then concentrate and cause the metals to come to the surface of their skin and join to form a shield over the person's whole body. Unfortunately Blaize went to see her father one night and fell into a vat of the metals and nanobots.

Thanks to her fathers criminal deals he was brought down in a huge bust headed up by Nate's parents. However he was not arrested having been shot numerous times in the cross fire.

Blaize is now on a mission to destroy Nate. His parents took her father and as his parents are dead he will have to pay the price.

Thanks to her billions of dollars she has unlimited gadgets at her disposal and unlimited funds to go about her hunt.

****************

Oh god can we change the fact that she tripped, fell and landed in a vat of pure awesome? I must have been feeling generous or something when I read this. I like her basic concept I'm just not feeling her back story, of course I suppose that's not very important or can be left for later, what's important is the motivation for her fighting Nate anyway.

Thank god, I was beginning to think i was the only one who must have being completely out of it when this got posted lol.

 

[Sean Renaud]

I think I read over she's got a lot in common with her, said oh we've got Catwoman. Check. And that was about as far as I read into it cus otherwise I would have been jumping up and down and screaming foul. It's bad enough that in the early days of comics every Tom, Dick and Harry tripped, fell and landed in a vat of awesome. I mean between radiated spiders, space waves, toxic waste, mystery drugs and even being caught in a nuke and the closest thing to a bad outcome from the lot of them is the Incredible Hulk cus you know he can't control himself. That's just too much accidental awesome. We need better reasoning and I. . .maybe I was drinking. Or I could ahve been watching porn. There is a reason i didn't catch this.

 

[NiteCrowe]

lol, my excuse is that i think i was high...and probably pissed as well

 

[Sean Renaud]

We should still save that idea encase we ever decide to do a comedy.

Father: Well as you can see this catwalk has absolutely no railing and those vats are filled with all kind of chemicals and the such any of which would cause radical mutations in a human being, approximately one out of every hundred will develope incredible powers which is why the turn over rate is so high honey.

Daughter: What happens to the rest of them daddy?

Father: Well we flush them and that's why you must never ever go near the storm drains, there is a man down there who tells you that things float down there. He's the leader of the sewer people and he hates daddy very much.

Daughter: Why?

Father: Well I pushed his daughter into the vat and he dove in after her and neither of them got cool powers. She got the ability to grow her fingernails and the father got his skin bleached white. WHe said he couldn't get work any more but I think he would have made a great rodeo clown. He chose supervillian instead.

 

[NiteCrowe]

Okay, for no reason at all, i think it's time i laid down the law a little bit.

>I have five years of experience in writing comics, and though i'm mainly freelance, I have worked with both DC and Marvel Comics, even to the point of having briefly worked with Stan Lee.

>No one member of this creative team is more important than others.

>I have, at the end of the day, the power to make the descisions, no one else, though I will always consider the input given to me.

 

[NiteCrowe]

Also Sean, I know you're not intending to, but you seem to be taking charge of this, which I ask must ask that you don't as it slightly undermines my authority and is upsetting the others in the team slightly.

I'm not saying that you should piss off or anything, i'm merely stating the facts, and ask that you reign yourself in slightly.

 

[Sean Renaud]

I kinda thought it went without saying that you had final word, which is why once you've made up your mind I change work with it, I might say I still think your idea is silly (i.e. Chapter 4) but that's my opinion and as it goes I make a horrible liar.

I'll reign it in though. My big thing is that I've been on multiple projects with people and it always seems that if you don't continual poke and prod you "artist" types you'll get bored and work on something else. Hell go read any random webcomic and you'll know EXACTLY what I mean. It's like it doesn't become real until it's paying the bills.

 

[Sean Renaud]

>Malcolm's training program for Nate takes on a life of it's own. Ends with Havoc kidnapping Malcolm.
>Assisting and manipulating Blaize Harmon into attacking KC, and then by Kidnapping Malc.
Basically, this is where Havoc's true colours are shown, i'm thinking that you don't discover this till the very end of the chapter. Mainly he is manipulating Blaize somehow into attacking KC.

**************************************************
EPISODE 6: HAVOC

Open: KC is in an alley fighting against Deciple who is ranting about the will of the gods while shifting forms. KC is easily dodging and fighting back and then uses his taser baton and finishes the fight. As soon as he finishes Diciple the villain dissolves into a HAVOC. KC begins explaining that the training is becoming to easy, to predictable. It’s not a video game where he needs to get the perfect score, this is training he needs to learn new things. It needs to be unpredictable

KC is out on routine patrol and is about to sweep down to stop a routine burglary of an electronics store when Blaize sneaks up behind him and a fight during the fight Blaize is apparently talking to herself but every time she speaks herself she follows it with a precise attack that slips into one of KC’s weaknesses *example, Blaize always leads with his left and he forgets to keep his right up.* Also the power source, now camoflauged, is still vulnerable and she does something to short it during the fight causing KC to retreat.

KC returns to his HQ to ask Malc to build a back up power source and improve the protection of the primary but finds the place is completely ransacked and one of Blaize’s weapons is sticking out of a wall. KC can’t figure out how she figured out his secret, he quickly repairs the suit himself (the damage wasn’t severe, it was just enough to keep it from getting power consistently) and set out to find Blaize.

He hunts down Blaize and attacks her catching her by surprise. He’s in a rage and very nearly gives away his identity believing that she already knows. She’s not talking to herself this time and KC starts threatening her if anything has happened to Malc and she has no idea what he’s talking about and he reaches into his pouch for her weapon and as he pulls it out it disolves. She tries to beat him the same way she did earlier but KC has learned and adjusts and defeats her easily then heads back to the lair.

HAVOC is waiting and explains his motivations clearly KC is unable to defeat HAVOC but manages to free Malc during the battle. Malc sets off a massive EMP that he’d been working on to defeat Blaize and her nanotech but wasn’t finished refining it causing it to knock out everything in within a block. Meanwhile back at Blaize’s lair a pile of dust begins to float away just, Blaize has already freed herself.
*********************************************

 

[NiteCrowe]

I'm going to have to point out out a large flaw in this...

Malc doesn't get kidnapped till the end of the episode 6 was the plan...and he is rescued/havoc dealt with at the end of ep8....

apart from that, tis good, you just need to sort it out lol...

 

[Sean Renaud]

So pretty much just end the story with the final fight with Blaize? The kidnapping is still at the end and we still get the pay off of defeating Blaize? I kinda thought I had gone on too long and that we were really talking about two or more stories.

But if I just basically chop off the battle with HAVOC which will push the kidnapping closer to the end we'll be set or is there anything else you'd like?

 

[NiteCrowe]

So pretty much just end the story with the final fight with Blaize? The kidnapping is still at the end and we still get the pay off of defeating Blaize? I kinda thought I had gone on too long and that we were really talking about two or more stories.

But if I just basically chop off the battle with HAVOC which will push the kidnapping closer to the end we'll be set or is there anything else you'd like?

Nope, that should work fine.

 

[Sean Renaud]

EPISODE 6: HAVOC

Open: KC is in an alley fighting against Deciple who is ranting about the will of the gods while shifting forms. KC is easily dodging and fighting back and then uses his taser baton and finishes the fight. KC is showing off by the time the fight ends. As soon as he finishes Diciple the villain dissolves into a HAVOC. KC begins explaining that the training is becoming to easy, to predictable. It’s not a video game where he needs to get the perfect score, this is training he needs to learn new things. It needs to be unpredictable

KC is out on routine patrol and is about to sweep down to stop a routine burglary of an electronics store when Blaize sneaks up behind him and a fight during the fight Blaize is apparently talking to herself but every time she speaks herself she follows it with a precise attack that slips into one of KC’s weaknesses *example, Blaize always leads with his left and he forgets to keep his right up.* Also the power source, now camoflauged, is still vulnerable and she does something to short it during the fight causing KC to retreat.

KC returns to his HQ to ask Malc to build a back up power source and improve the protection of the primary but finds the place is completely ransacked and one of Blaize’s weapons is sticking out of a wall. KC can’t figure out how she figured out his secret, he quickly repairs the suit himself (the damage wasn’t severe, it was just enough to keep it from getting power consistently) and set out to find Blaize.

We see Malc's prison which is surprisingly comfortable looking and he's talking to someone asking why he was brought there, and why can't he leave.

KC hunts down Blaize and attacks her catching her by surprise. He’s in a rage and very nearly gives away his identity believing that she already knows. She’s not talking to herself this time and KC starts threatening her if anything has happened to Malc and she has no idea what he’s talking about and he reaches into his pouch for her weapon and as he pulls it out it disolves. She tries to beat him the same way she did earlier but KC has learned and adjusts and defeats her easily then heads back to the lair and begins trying to understand why HAVOC kidnapped Malc

Again we see Malc but now the off panel charachter responds. To test his skills, it must be him alone, not you. He wanted to overcome difficulties that he could not forsee coming. I don't believe he forsaw this situation. He goes on to explain that it is not his intention to hurt Malc but that the danger must be real both to Malc and to Nate or it would invalidate the test. (I'm not sure if I think that is better short and left like that, or if it would better to explain why the danger must be real, because when KC doesn't feel threatened he will take unnecessary risks (some of the moves he was performing against Diciple earlier.) Or he will refuse to fight if he is certain that you are in no real danger etc etc.)

 

[NiteCrowe]

I like that, though I am curious about one change...

EPISODE SIX - HAVOC

Starts with KC sat at the computer that Malc usually inhabits, and shows him thinking about whats going on....(Basically this is the end of the story, but at the start)

15 hours before...

KC is in an alley fighting against Deciple who is ranting about the will of the gods while shifting forms. KC is easily dodging and fighting back and then uses his taser baton and finishes the fight. KC is showing off by the time the fight ends. As soon as he finishes Diciple the villain dissolves into a HAVOC. KC begins explaining that the training is becoming to easy, to predictable. It’s not a video game where he needs to get the perfect score, this is training he needs to learn new things. It needs to be unpredictable

KC is out on routine patrol and is about to sweep down to stop a routine burglary of an electronics store when Blaize sneaks up behind him and a fight during the fight Blaize is apparently talking to herself but every time she speaks herself she follows it with a precise attack that slips into one of KC’s weaknesses *example, Blaize always leads with his left and he forgets to keep his right up.* Also the power source, now camoflauged, is still vulnerable and she does something to short it during the fight causing KC to retreat.

KC returns to his HQ to ask Malc to build a back up power source and improve the protection of the primary but finds the place is completely ransacked and one of Blaize’s weapons is sticking out of a wall. KC can’t figure out how she figured out his secret, he quickly repairs the suit himself (the damage wasn’t severe, it was just enough to keep it from getting power consistently) and set out to find Blaize.

We see Malc's prison which is surprisingly comfortable looking and he's talking to someone asking why he was brought there, and why can't he leave.

KC hunts down Blaize and attacks her catching her by surprise. He’s in a rage and very nearly gives away his identity believing that she already knows. She’s not talking to herself this time and KC starts threatening her if anything has happened to Malc and she has no idea what he’s talking about and he reaches into his pouch for her weapon and as he pulls it out it disolves. She tries to beat him the same way she did earlier but KC has learned and adjusts and defeats her easily then heads back to the lair and begins trying to understand why HAVOC kidnapped Malc

Again we see Malc but now the off panel charachter responds. To test his skills, it must be him alone, not you. He wanted to overcome difficulties that he could not forsee coming. I don't believe he forsaw this situation. He goes on to explain that it is not his intention to hurt Malc but that the danger must be real both to Malc and to Nate or it would invalidate the test. (I'm not sure if I think that is better short and left like that, or if it would better to explain why the danger must be real, because when KC doesn't feel threatened he will take unnecessary risks (some of the moves he was performing against Diciple earlier.) Or he will refuse to fight if he is certain that you are in no real danger etc etc.)

Goes back to the start where he's thinking about what happened. Then he gets an e-mail titled For Knight-Crowe, Subject: Malcolm

He opens it and then the Havoc logo appears...

 

[Sean Renaud]

Are the only things you changed the thing at the begining and the thing at the end, or were you asking me why I changed something? I'm slightly confused here.

 

[NiteCrowe]

I was reffering to the change i made

 

[Sean Renaud]

Okay. Well obviously I have nothing to add to it at the moment. Is there anything you need worked on or fleshed out or niches you see needing to be filled atm?

 

[Ravenloft]

Reading your added idea to episode 6, nite, I had an idea for a future episode for ya.

How about, and I know it probably comes off as a little more humorous than you're shooting for, but, doing a 'who dun it' mystery, where you open with the butler, yes, the butler laying dead, with all your primary characters standing around him. Then they each take a turn discribing how they think it happened.

 

[Ravenloft]

Because, you know, KC just HAS to have a butler. Its in the superhero bylaws.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Actually that could be fun.