New Poetry Recommendations

[ghost_girl]

I enjoyed --

Scars, by, swallowedscream.

It's about scars, different ones, ends in tender revelations, some parts could be freshened up, but a poem worth a read.

and I didnt notice till the morning that Rybka had already been mentioned by someone else, but hey, Old Fred Barnes is worth at least 2 mentions.


I just have to say, Rybka, if you expect to die like that, are you even living at all? That is lonely and sad. I used to sit around and think about dying and discovered that when I do that, hell, I am already dead.

When I ponder my death, I imagine dying in my garden and being feasted upon by local butterflies, or dying inside the house and being feasted upon by my cats. They would do that you know, the bastards have not a loyal bone in their fishy smelling bodies

Do You need a hug, sweet friend?

xoxox

j





Old Fred Barnes, by Rybka. His poetry-tales always make me feel like a fly on the wall and this ol fly certainly enjoys the view..

enjoy!

g_g

 

[My Erotic Trail]

New Poem Reviews

Tie two birds together
and though they have four wings
they can not fly~

.......................first up today.....

Erotica by NALA CAYENNE ... I enjoyed the way this poem began, describing erotica, then turning up the heat that left me thinking of this poem as sizzling... Erotica' (~_~) this author has several poems on the new poems list today.

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Predatory Permission by RhymeFairy...
'One lick at a time'...
...you'll definetly enjoy tasting this poem!!! (~_~)

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Goodbye 2 by Willow Rain ... this poem is a must read! The descriptive mix of location and emotions are pure... 'poetry'

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New Poems ... there are 21 new poems on the list this day thus far.


(~_~) have a quality day!

 

[vampiredust]

The Sunday Review

5 new poems up today

LasciviousSanity 's Two For The Road caught my eye this morning with its imagery. I especially liked the image in the final stanza (The message sent/in waves of motion/
as the steering wheel leaves/a pretty tattoo on my back)

Good stuff

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

New Poem Reviews

Tie two birds together
and though they have four wings
they can not fly~

.......................first up today.....

Erotica by NALA CAYENNE ... I enjoyed the way this poem began, describing erotica, then turning up the heat that left me thinking of this poem as sizzling... Erotica' (~_~) this author has several poems on the new poems list today.

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Thanks for the comment on this poem

 

[SmirkingJack11]

I would love some feedback

Here are the two poems i wrote for Literotica. I woul dlove to hear what you all think.

8th Avenue

And

the parlor

Feel free to PM me, any of you.

 

[wildsweetone]

I wanted to share a poem from my new book but it's not online. if you have it, check out 'Cook County' by Archibald MacLeish. if you don't, check him out online and see if you can find one of his works that suits you.



Ars Poetica

A poem should be palpable and mute
As a globed fruit

Dumb
As old medallions to the thumb

Silent as the sleeve-worn stone
Of casement ledges where the moss has grown -

A poem should be wordless
As the flight of birds

A poem should be motionless in time
As the moon climbs

Leaving, as the moon releases
Twig by twig the night-entangled trees,

Leaving, as the moon behind the winter leaves,
Memory by memory the mind -

A poem should be motionless in time
As the moon climbs

A poem should be equal to:
Not true

For all the history of grief
An empty doorway and a maple leaf

For love
The leaning grasses and two lights above the sea -

A poem should not mean
But be

Archibald MacLeish




=======================================================


this review contains some constructive criticism that is intended to help some poets with their writing. there is a limitation on the use of smilies in posts on Literotica and therefore i am unable to include what i would like. my intention is to encourage and help by giving suggestions to poets.


Nine new poems today.

Silicon Sex by Jamison i like the repetition of 'like that'. and i like the deepening of the poem in the last stanza. it gives good impact. i'm not so sure about the 'what's', 'that's', 'what's', 'it's' in the first two stanzas.

Sarge by hmmnmm a sonnet that feels a little forced in places perhaps to make the iambic pentametre or the rhyme. a little rewording, a little more practice will make this a smoother read. i.e. perhaps the last line could read 'send the sarge in, he loves to go fishing.' the word 'who' in that last line seems abnormal speech to my ears.

An Invitation by Willow Rain . i like this for its sounds and its story. i like the last stanza as it keeps the firmness of the poem together. i love how the poet has used the word 'gossamer'. the stanza beginning 'have made them into iron,' should have a period after 'hurt', or 'Everything' should have a lower case 'e' if the comma is used.

Flesh and Bone one of two first poem submissions by wedgewoodblue had me reading over and over again. the line breaks in this poem have my mind dancing.


those poems i did not choose for this review either contained typing errors or simply did not stand out to me. please note that these are my opinions on poems, it is up to you as a reader and/or writer to form your own. go read, go comment and keep writing!

 

[Angeline]

Tuesday, August 28

There are fourteen new poems posted today, but only a few really caught my eye. hmmnmm’s exploration of the sonnet form gives us Spherical Schematic a wacky and self-deprecating take on iambic pentameter that’s filled with alliteration and assonance, And Rybka swims in with Dublin Fog, which is pithy and all too true. Rybka does many poems like this, and I’ve never seen anyone else do anything quite like it, although they do remind me of Piet Hein and his wonderful grooks.

These are just my preferences for today. You may have other poems you prefer. If you do please recommend them in this thread,

And please read, vote and comment as your time permits.

Peace,
Angeline

 

[LeBroz]

Wednesday's Review

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And so another Wednesday rears its ugly head — she'll look better at the end of the day as we roar to a nice long weekend. On a positive note, there are just 8 pieces up today and they're not all that bad. Two caught my eye that I'll mention and a third's a real zinger.


Big_Ron has his first posting here, The Hunt, that seems to operate on two levels — concrete and metaphorical imagery. Good enough that I'm curious to see what else he has to offer in the future.


dr_mabeuse offers up an erotic piece in Eater of Sin. Right off its merits include a lack of crude humping and pumping vulgarity; he lets your mind take off on its own {is there a tone of BDSM present here?} so fill in the blanks.


Finally, ghost_girl gives us a real zinger of a piece in Washing rugs after a breakup. No comment option available on this one. Going beyond any specifics, anyone that's escaped from a toxic relationship is sure to identify with what's said here. The memories that just won't die and the need to purge the past from your soul. Wonderfully done. In my mind, this one's a must-read!


Go ahead and give 'em all a quick read; it's a short offering today {so far}. Just remember to read, vote, comment ~ it's the least you can do. Above all, comment ~ a fair exchange for the pleasure of reading free poetry.


Now go and have a fun Labor Day weekend. Lots of kids going back to school next week {but in metro Atlanta, they've been in school for a couple weeks already and in infamous Rockdale county, they've been doing it for a month now (pun intended)}.

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[WickedEve]

Finally, ghost_girl gives us a real zinger of a piece in Washing rugs after a breakup. No comment option available on this one. Going beyond any specifics, anyone that's escaped from a toxic relationship is sure to identify with what's said here. The memories that just won't die and the need to purge the past from your soul. Wonderfully done. In my mind, this one's a must-read!

Just read it, Leon, and I must declare my love for that ghost girl. Wow, totally excellent poem.

 

[unapologetic]

Thursday again?

Brand new poet & Lit member, portmanteau gave us To L, an enticing poem that stays on the correct sign of the erotic/pornographic line for my tastes.

I thoroughly enjoyed the anger of another brand new poet & Lit member. Dat_Nati_Freak’s Phone Sex is wonderful.

And then there’s the piece I liked best, this one by an established Lit poet. Show and Look by FifthFlower left me smiling. It’s sweet with just a hint of smut, a delicious combination.

That’s all from me for now. Later to the collective ‘gators out there in Litland.

 

[ghost_girl]

Some of you might enjoy Lock and Key by, PinkSashay.

The poem is filled with movement and has some good things going on . It would appear that the author is not a newbie to writing, though perhaps to posting here. Perhaps some of you with some technical expertise that i lack, could peek in at the work and give Pink some helpful advice.

~~

also, 4 minute man by. Lascivious Sanity.

The first three lines, in my opinion, are very good. Most of the rest is as well. Once again, perhaps someone else could offer suggestions, or would merely enjoy t his brief piece. I know I did.

 

[ghost_girl]

Some of you might enjoy Lock and Key by, PinkSashay.

The poem is filled with movement and has some good things going on . It would appear that the author is not a newbie to writing, though perhaps to posting here. Perhaps some of you with some technical expertise that i lack, could peek in at the work and give Pink some helpful advice.

and... one more. In my opinion, the best poem posted today. Escapes me why I had to pop in here and mention it, unless it was posted late. ( but that is the subjective nature of poetry reviews)

Gimme Five by, LasciviousSanity

~~~just a taste, read the rest to see what led up to this dangerous set of nail-prints

The solid landscape
of an artful back
raked raw
from korean manicures
of crimson.

 

[ghost_girl]

I don't know who usually does Fridays...

so I hope I'm not stepping on any toes. If so, send me an email and blast me, I'm a sort of masochist anyway


We have a new member who is a prior contributing poet here and I for one am pretty happy he's back.

Foehn2 has several poems posted today, one of which is a Rondeau for Rhonda. The rondeau is one of my favorite form poems and this is a lovely example. Definitely worth a read, as are all o f his offerings today. Welcome back, Foehn!!

~~~

and then, we have Poontang which is a semi-rant, sort of, on the lackluster state of contemporary music. Though, I may be wrong. But this is an enjoyable work by hmmnmm. This poet has offered up some exciting work lately, that is definitely not ( one of) the usual Lit offerings that consist of moans, arches, throbs and aches.
~~~

Sixty seconds by, UnderYourSpell takes about that long to read, but it stuck with me all afternoon. Some deep thoughts to consider.

and finally, Remember by, NZ_Marie. Maybe this one could use some work, some restructure on the line breaks and such, but like someone once did for me, I want to mention this poem, for the story it tells and how so many of us, men and women are taken for granted by those we love the most.

Happy reading everyone! Read, comment vote leave feedback if that is what you care to do, but read. It is good for your soul.



julie

oops! I forgot the disclaimer.

The poems mentioned in this post are ones that I liked. Not necessarily the best, or the only ones worth reading, only the individual reader could make that determination. and since I am not a regular reviewer anyway, who cares what i think??!!

 

[foehn2]

I should like to add...

I imagine ghost_girl was prevented from mentioning her own poem no need for wings by modesty, but I would urge everyone to go discover the mystery being held by

"...one branch
of an ancient oak tree
that has held little more
than birdsong and breeze."

I was also very impressed by new poet Isabel_Blyss' two contributions, "Pearl" and "Dullita (for Salvador Dali)".

There are very likely others that will find favor with others, and some i missed because my bifocals get tired.

But I thought I should put my two cents in while I had them.

Not sure how steady I can be but it's good to be back.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

New Poem Reviews

when a man's words
are no better than silence
he should not speak!

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Nymph by Unbridled Passion ... this is what we are all here for? ... erotic poetry! (~_~)

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War Diaries by pipedream_ink ... I believe this to be part one of more to come!

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Serenity by GLChick1967 ... at one time or another we all long for serenity... this poet's love!


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21 poems for saturday!

New Poems

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(~_~) have a quality day!

 

[vampiredust]

The Sunday Review

7 new poems up today

Savannah Skye has two poems up today that caught my eye

Both haiku and haiku 2 are quite concise with their imagery, helping to create strong images with just a few words. Good stuff.

 

[wildsweetone]

as i am adoring my new Archibald MacLeish book, i'll share a little more...

What Any Lover Learns

Water is heavy silver over stone.
Water is heavy silver over stone's
Refusal. It does not fall. It fills. It flows
Every crevice, every fault of the stone,
Every hollow. River does not run.
River presses its heavy silver self
Down into stone and stone refuses.

.................................What runs,
Swirling and leaping into sun, is stone's
Refusal of the river, not the river.



~

stunning, yes?


=======================================================


this review contains some constructive criticism that is intended to help some poets with their writing. there is a limitation on the use of smilies in posts on Literotica and therefore i am unable to include what i would like. my intention is to encourage and help by giving suggestions to poets.



14 new poems today.

in a series started yesterday, pipedream_ink posted War Diaries Day Two, War Diaries Day Three, War Diaries Day Four, and War Diaries Day Five today. not perhaps the best, punctuation/grammar wise, nor many other technical poetic details, but certainly very stark, clear images and thoughts of the poet. i find it deceiving that within such a landscape only one moment in each day can be chosen - so much must go through a Marine's mind... i look forward to keeping up with this poet's writing.


Tihmmnmm 's Book of September, First Page and Book of September, Second Page. i like these two poems but stumbled a little within both of them. 'was not long ago she lay not alone' and 'without resemblance to fogless visibility to speak of' and i don't know enough to know why i stumbled in those places. two negatives in a phrase perhaps? i'm not sure. i'd be interested to see what others thoughts are.

Sack submitted You See, He's My Dad. how have i missed this poet's writing? firstly, happy birthday to your Dad, '87 today' that's a mighty achievement. i enjoyed the repetition and loved the last line. very well written poem about a difficult time. i feel that 'sand / sifting through the final hourglass' comes very close to a cliche and if there were anything i would suggest as improvement, then it would be to try and reword this phrase. overall, i found this an excellent poem and will read your other poetry.

Milky Way Meltdown by RhymeFairy has my mind all twisted up. i've read it four times now and just when i think i've got it, i realise i haven't. i think it's my lack of knowledge that's the problem. there are many things i don't understand. RF can you send me a PM and tell me what the poem is about? is there another translation for 'mea culpa' other than 'my fault'?

going forward, backwards by My Erotic Trail. one nit-pick on spelling, i think 'wabble' should be 'wobble'. i enjoyed the smooth read of this poem. i liked the phrase 'have yet to be scratched off' and the word play on 'gravity'. does the sun set in the east in the northern hemisphere?


those poems i did not choose for this review either contained typing errors or simply did not stand out to me. please note that these are my opinions on poems, it is up to you as a reader and/or writer to form your own. go read, go comment and keep writing!

 

[Angeline]

Mea Culpa

I was ill yesterday--or something. All I wanted to do was sleep. I did read the new poems. and there were a few I really liked, but I couldn't get myself together enough to tell you then. So here they are, a day late but still worth your reading, voting, commenting time:

When you weren't looking, Nirvanadragones was drowning. Maybe in water, maybe in memories. It's spare but moving. Well done.

And Jamison who singlehandedly supports the bean industry in Seattle is in a Black Mood Grind. But he's so sweet, you say? Always so pleasant! Not always, apparently. Grind him the wrong way and his cup will runneth over with malfeasance. In a sweet, Jamison-ish sort of way.

There are other poems you may want to recommend. My recommendations are simply my opinions--and rather shaky, not feeling 100 percent ones at that, So join in if you'd like. Or at least read a poem or write one or some such.

Have a groovy day.
Angeline

 

[LeBroz]

Wednesday's Review

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Another Wednesday and the last I looked, there were 11 new postings, so let me have a look and see if any sizzle.


Sad to say, while a couple looked close, nothing really sizzled for me today. Maybe I've just been having a bad week, with this bug that refuses to go away. Take a look for yourself and see what you think and remember to read, vote, comment ~ it's the least you can do. Above all, comment ~ a fair exchange for the pleasure of reading free poetry. Especially if you think the poem has promise — give them your suggestion(s).

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[unapologetic]

Howdy Hi Hullo

The concept of Prayer of the Troll-Caught, the metaphor being used, is quite intriguing. However, something about the execution is leaving me less than thrilled. Still, a worth effort by Dale_Arden. The other piece posted by this poet. Amputation is much better, and gave me that little shock I get when I read good poetry.

pipedream_ink’s poem War Diaries Day Six also gave me an “almost” feeling. Engaging story, for sure, but when read aloud it didn’t feel like poetry.

I felt myself smiling when I read Enslaved by Tasty_Teaze. The ideas here are a little cliché, but she portrays them very engagingly.

I’m not going to tell you what I love about hmmnmm’s new poem Role Models, because it would take too long.

SelenaKittyn’s short poem Dragon’s Breath doesn’t need to be any longer, it gets it done in just 9 lines.


Thanks for attending another session of the unapologetic show! Don't forget to tip your waiters and waitresses. Good night.

 

[champagne1982]

Friday Review

Good Friday, Sep 7, morning poets and poetesses (is that poetessi?). So far the new poems list seems populated by a mere eight poems. This isn't likely to last though, probably by the time I actually post this reply on the thread, there'll be another dozen at least.

First up is Wicked Game by EDSpencer. This is definitely a prozishy poem that seems more like a menu for rough sex than a metaphor or imagery-rich verse. There are some shining moments of true poetics, when the poet discusses motivation and emotions, punctuating a brief sexual vignette that does more telling than illustration. Erotica is never easy.

Maotoko_Miuchi pens a series of haiku-esque strophes (please let me know what form of oriental poetry this is, if any, anyone) in The Lowly Cherry is Elevated. There are touches of genuine humour and sophistication but then, I find the poem is spoiled, to a degree, by the jarring voice of the narrator in the 4th stanza. The contradicting adjectives may be a proper inclusion in this formula, instead, just makes the verse nonsense rather than surreal or realistic. This is my opinion, however and since I have absolutely no problem with not enjoying this sort of poetry, you may want to read and form your own opinion on it.

Censor Me by LittleJade is a rhythmic read of repeated words and structure that offers an angry answer to the suppression of opinion. Sometimes there are some worn phrases, but I think experience is what makes these words cliche and when found in a fresh voice, their inclusion in a poem can be excused. Check it out and decide for yourself.

In Tomorrow, My Babies swallowedscream grants us a look into a mother's depression and despair as she can't give her mothering to her children. There are some excellent phrases, Mama's been eaten by emptiness. and another echo of hopelessness, I wake to a today that feels like a yesterday, capturing this painful moment when illness eclipses love.

To the poets I've mentioned in this review,

Please remember that the comments and critique are my opinion only. You own the verse you've written and as its author, you have the ultimate say in how you wish to accept or reject any review of your work. Thankyou for sharing your poems and I hope that anything I've written here doesn't discourage you from writing and letting the world see your thoughts and ideas. Your voice is as important as the rest of ours.

As to anyone who reads, votes and/or comments, please form your own thoughts and if you have anything to add or share about today's poems, don't hesitate to include them on this thread.

Have a great day and weekend fellow poboians.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

New Poem Reviews

the body is the arrow
and the spirit is the bow

.......................

The Beer by bassbelly ... this poem explains all the reasons why I do not drink! a cute and humourous write, I think you'll enjoy this 'chucklebone' poem!

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Sleepy Moon by shallowedscream ... the moon is inspiration for a lot of poetry and this one has a nice feel while reading it.

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Morning Pleasure by nova4u ... a dabble into 'java script' (grinin' (~_~) a cute lil write about coffee!

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New Poems List

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(~_~) have a quality day!

 

[champagne1982]

Good Bye, Luciano is a lovely tribute honouring the memory of a truly amazing artist. The world is a lesser place with Mr. Pavrotti's loss but a much better place for having known the beauty of his voice. Go read this one by foehn2.

 

[vampiredust]

The Sunday Review

Only 3 new poems up so far today

Dale_Arden 's La valse des rayons: Apache caught my eye today. Loved its opening stanza, with those memorable lines:

It was a long day with you,
that last time. I felt
like a crayon in the corner—
wax, discarded, yet still colorful
as you finished yourself off

Love that simile. The rest of the imagery in the poem is pretty good and complements the tone and feeling. Very well thought out and worth reading today.

Good stuff

 

[wildsweetone]

Today's Treat:

Kinds of Fire, by Archibald MacLeish

Flame, that flower with no root that rises
petal by petal in its bright disguises,
dies, leaves nothing, substance nor surmises,

flame, they say another -
sister is it? brother? -
burns as bright as you do, flares and flashes,

dies . . .

.....but not to nothing:
dies to ashes.


This is one of 29 previously uncollected poems that appears in Archibald MacLeish's book Collected P.O.E.M.S 1917 - 1982

and to tell you a little more, this poet usually wrote in a cheap bound notebook. he would write his first draft, turn to the next page in the book and write a second draft and keep doing this until he felt it finished wherein he would write his next poem's draft. (somehow i cannot imagine writing this way) sometimes, when he felt a poem was unfinished, he'd pick it up again in another notebook and continue working on it in the same manner as before.

in case you're wondering, i was recommended this book and don't hesitate recommend this book to you. 524 pages with a couple of pages of Editor's Notes relating to the newly published poems. well worth reading.





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this review contains some constructive criticism that is intended to help some poets with their writing. there is a limitation on the use of smilies in posts on Literotica and therefore i am unable to include what i would like. my intention is to encourage and help by giving suggestions to poets.



11 new poems out today.

Off submitted by Dale_Arden. i very much enjoyed the poetic language within this poem, the metaphor and simile usage are clever. i'm unsure about the last three words in this poem.

Ride Me by WFEATHER caught me with the first line. i like the repetition, i like the imagery, i even like the rhyme as it falls naturally in this poem.

A sonnet testimonial tract by hmmnmm shows vast improvement. watch out you Sonneteers, you're going to be getting a run for your money if this poet keeps improving. just a couple of places where i lost the smooth flow here. if you haven't done this yet, you might try immersing yourself in other sonnets (read lots) and see if that helps you along.

Blood Stained Sheets by new to Lit poet Alephenia is an interesting read. interesting rhyming in this poem. i am not sure why the sheets are bloodied, or how come they are bloodied, it doesn't quite gel with 'gentle pain you teased me with' in stanza three, or the last line of the poem. i feel like i'm missing something. perhaps this poem has erred on the side of slightly too little information for the reader? i'm not sure.
the second submission Fields of Heather is a clever play on 'heather'. stanza two has a different rhyme scheme to the rest of the poem. i liked this poem, though there are a couple of places where the wording does not seem as 'natural' as others.

those poems i did not choose for this review either contained typing errors or simply did not stand out to me. please note that these are my opinions on poems, it is up to you as a reader and/or writer to form your own. go read, go comment and keep writing!