Older Male Seeking Female Friends Who Can Tolerate "Dad Jokes"

[tugger1987]

what do you call a band of musical whales?

an orca stra

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

What do you call an elephant in a telephone booth?
Stuck.

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

Where do basketball players go when they need a uniform?

New Jersey.

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

And my last one…

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind.

 

[tugger1987]

I gave away all my used battery's the other day......they were free of charge

 

[Merryegoround]

Fitting for Lit?

Parallel lines have so much in common; what a pity they never meet!

 

[Shygentleman2]

What do you call a druid that takes the long way round

R2 detour

 

[Shygentleman2]

And my last one…

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind.

Oh my lord...I almost spit out my coffee when I read this one!

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

Why couldn't the Orange make it to the summit of the mountain?

 

[tugger1987]

Why couldn't the Orange make it to the summit of the mountain?

He didn’t peel very well?

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

No, it ran out of juice.

 

[hugh_jarce69]

I had a peanut stuck in my ear earlier.
But I poured in some chocolate and it came out a treat

 

[Shygentleman2]

I have a horse named mayo, and mayo neighs.

 

[hugh_jarce69]

Why did they call it IKEA and not Stock Home

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

How many Swedes does it take to change a light bulb?

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

Four.

One to deliver it to IKEA, one to stack it on the shelf, one on the till to sell it and one to take it home and plug it in.

 

[Shygentleman2]

For our UK friends:

What do you call a small mom

A minimum

 

[hugh_jarce69]

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should’ve done with my life.

Think I’ll call it my oughtabiography

 

[hugh_jarce69]

I subscribe to the magazine Chiropractor Monthly

I’ve got plenty of back issues

 

[hugh_jarce69]

Does anyone remember the Chiropractor joke I posted here about a week back?

 

[Shygentleman2]

I asked my phone “Siri, why am I so bad with women?“


She said “I’m Alexa you moron.“

 

[hugh_jarce69]

For some reason yesterday my phone kept calling me Shirley.

Then I realised it was in airplane mode

 

[Shygentleman2]

I got mugged by 6 dwarves lastnight ..

Not happy.

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

Brighouse & Rastrick Council wanted to make a bandstand.

So they took away their chairs.

 

[Shygentleman2]

My wife accused me of being immature.

I told her to get out of my fort.