On Breastfeeding, Rights, and Good Manners

[Joe Wordsworth]

Originally posted by rhinoguy
I am behind women's (people's rights) to do this in public...but remember there ARE Joe's (who migt be offended) and ME's (and worse) who are curious.....SO...lactating women..take that into account

Entirely agreed.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

OH NO!
now is everybody gonna be mad at ME!!!???



i need a nurse maid!!!

No, you perve, I think you're lovely.

I was kidding about the perve bit, btw, it was very refreshing to read something so honest.

Lou

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

Originally posted by rhinoguy
OH NO!
now is everybody gonna be mad at ME!!!???

Tsk, ya' fucked up, boyo.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

(I just had to do it.)

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

what'dya do?

Just a little grin.

I was trying to be all serious for a while in this thread, then you come along and break me.

Oh, thanks, btw.

Lou

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

Rhinippleman, you're like a Shakespearean fool. That's a compliment.

Perdita

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

ah, the milk of human kindness!

Oh my, I cannot believe the stuff I laugh at sometimes. Yeah, fool is right, bless ya!

Lou

 

[amicus]

Rhinoguy stole my thunder.....reading the last two pages of this thread and idea began to percolate concerning breasts and nipples and cleavage and brassieres and I think I began to salivate uncontrollably....

Most societies outside the truly primitie and aboriginal, cover the sexual organs of both male and female...or so I have observed.

Now, if breasts are 'only breasts...only tits...'...as someone indelicately proposed, then I find myself questioning the time and effort spent on 'displaying' those objects by those so endowed with an admirable pair.

I, for one, find my eyes being drawn to the upper torso of a female...I try not to be obvious in public...but I do notice size and shape and flounce and bounce and yes, I even look to see if a nipple or so is alert to my gaze.

)edited to 'Some who enjoy getting in my face and making me squirm, seemed to display a little overt feminism in her tirade about breasts being objects of sexual attraction. The old thing that women do not want to be 'just' sexual objects for the gratificaton of the lust driven male....sighs....

Someone mentioned a little 'honesty' in an earlier post...perhaps a larger dose of that commodity might be in order.

Poor JoeW, with whom I agree about virtually nothing, was quite correct in voicing a modest uneasiness about viewing breastfeeding in public. What ever the core reason, and it could be several, displaying bare breasts and nipples in a public setting is something not commonly done in any but the most primitive societies.

We all, male and female, know the breasts to be objects of sexual attraction, the ladies display, we gents obligingly stare, thas the name of the game.

...and the ladies know that from a very young age...I recall in my youth, a very young lady who was sprouting, invited me into the backyard under an apple tree and lifted her t-shirt, "You can look but you can't touch..." she said with a smile and a glint in her eyes.

For those of us who grew up around the middle years of the last century, women did not breast feed in public. Only since the feminist revolution did it become an issue and an issue that in many cases flaunted against the societal ethics of the time.

There is a bit of a conflict created by the equality of women who both do and do not wish to be viewed as overt sexual objects.

I for one (shame on me) respond to seeing erect nipples or even the outline of them beneath a blouse or shirt in a public setting. I usually turn my eyes away and pretend I did not see, but still my mouth puckers and my tongue flitters in anticipation.

And that is a response I would rather not have in public...but, since the ladies do purposely display and the gents instinctively respond...who can say what it all means and why?

I am no doubt somewhat mired in a generational gap...the overt sexuality displayed from every vantage point from middle schools to the mall and all over television gives me that 'uneasy' feeling that JoeW referred to.

I have a feeling Og may understand what I am saying rather badly. Just where it is all headed, I can but guess...somethings that are acceptable in one layer of society are not in others.

amicus

http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/memberpage.php?uid=261558&page=submissions

 

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[McKenna]

....snip...McKenna, who enjoys sitting on my face and making me squirm...snip...

Keep dreaming, Amicus. I resent your implication here that there is anything but antipathy between us. And in case I'm not quite clear enough, you disgust me. Don't ever imply familiarity with me or my body, again. That's just bad form.

 

[Guest]

. . . I am a man...I am juvenile in MANY ways.

I do my best not to stare or be Obnoxious (excpet here...natch).....but by golly I sure do WANT to see that oh so natural breast...and nipple.

I am behind women's (people's rights) to do this in public...but remember there ARE Joe's (who migt be offended) and ME's (and worse) who are curious.....SO...lactating women..take that into account.

for what it's worth.

There was a lengthy thread on this topic a few months back.

*sigh*

I believe, kind gentlemen of Lit, that you truly don't understand one major factor in this situation.

Though most women do enjoy sexual nipple play from their partners (and the hormones released when a baby is nursing do cause relaxation and a bit of stimulation for the mother) when we feed our babies we are NOT looking for sex.

NO! Go away. We want privacy, and we attempt to find it as best we can by using shirts that front button open and little flaps on the bras and shawls or blankets to cover us and our baby.

Uncomfortable? You bet.

Miserable for the infant if the temperature is quite warm? Of course.

And easily making the mom (who is attempting to do what is best for the child, by the way) feel like shit? Oh, yes. Happens all the time.

My most favorite situation? Having to deal with the haughty sneer from a bitchy woman (towing her wimp of a husband). She was annoyed with ME because he'd been ogling me shamelessly.

Breastfeeding is necessary, normal and healthy. It's a pity babies don't choose to get hungry on a perfect schedule, but being little individuals, they tend to have their own ideas. Thus you may be stuck on a bus or in a restaurant or ball game when feeding the child becomes a must.

I have no sympathy for any other opinion.

We continue to punish women in the U.S. for doing what we have to do - for doing what is best for our children.

 

[herecomestherain]

Well said sweetsubsarahh. I had a long discussion about the Starbuck's situation on another board recently, I still find it difficult to believe this could even be an issue.

As mentioned before I do wonder if perhaps objectors of breastfeeding in public would care to eat in the restroom? We call restrooms, toilets here.

I don't care if women are "indiscreet" with their breasts while feeding their babies. I just consider myself lucky that in a cruel and shitty world I get the privilege of witnessing something beautiful every once in a while.

And yes, I fed both of my lovely children and am happy to say I never had anyone visibally disapprove, on the contrary I had a plenty of times when someone would look briefly at me and smile in encouragement. It's quite an easy thing to do really, making people feel welcome and comfortable.



Amicus, breastfeeding is primitive and perfect. It is also a supremely sophisticated biological process.

 

[amicus]

MAC....the intended humorous reference has been deleted, and incidentally, the feeling is mutual


amicus

 

[shereads]

Just because someone is uncomfortable with something doesn't mean its because they're being childish.

Agreed.

Dippiing a toe into the cold water with a sense of dread...Nah. Plunging in. What the hell.



I can't in good conscience fail to speak up for Joe when I think he's being lambasted because of a misunderstanding. A good, hard lambasting - and hurt feelings - ought to be reserved for posts that are clearly understood. Also, I prefer to see Joe tarred and feathered rather than lambasted, but not over this issue. Religion or politics will do.



Joe's phrasing ("not into breastfeeding") may have led some of you to think he was implying that it's a sexual turn-on for some people, and for that reason should be done in private. "Fetish" is the word someone used. I don't think he meant that. I think he meant what he said later on, which is just that it makes him uncomfortable. He didn't say he's proud of it, or that it should be outlawed.

A few weeks ago, I posted a column on this topic from the Washington Post, and said I agreed with the writer. As a feminist, I wasn't comfortable saying I agreed with her, and I wondered if others felt the same way. All hell broke loose.

The writer didn't say she was offended by public breastfeeding. She said she was offended by the kind of militant, in-your-face, like-it-or-leave attitude that Og refers to here. She suggested that there ought to be a little more sensitivity on both sides of the issue. I think Og said it pretty well.

You don't have to agree that a person has reason to be embarrassed, to be sensitive to the fact that he is, and to use some discretion in certain settings and when it becomes evident that others are uncomfortable. No big deal.

It also bears mentioning that the La Leche League's activism has done great things for mothers - and no small amount of emotional harm to the minority of mothers who cannot or should not breastfeed their babies.

There.

Joe, for joining you on the pyre you owe me an anti-Dubya vote.

Og, please send the Coalition of the Willing to rescue Joe and me.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I'll be voting Kerry, as payment... and, as a bonus, I will say that Bush's daughters are drunken whores and nowhere near as attractive as Gore's kids.

 

[shereads]

I'll be voting Kerry, as payment... and, as a bonus, I will say that Bush's daughters are drunken whores and nowhere near as attractive as Gore's kids.

I spotted you as a brilliant young man from the very beginning.

 

[Guest]

I'll be voting Kerry, as payment... and, as a bonus, I will say that Bush's daughters are drunken whores and nowhere near as attractive as Gore's kids.

LMAO!!!!

 

[poohlive]

Breastfeeding makes some people uncomfortable? Is that really an opinion we can't have in this country? We have to just accept breast feeding as natural and good, and go on with our lives?

Ha, well, I suppose so. I don't disagree. Breast feeding is natural, and its good, and it healthy, and all that other junk. But, it still makes me uncomfortable when a woman brings out her breasts in the middle of a public place, and just starts going at it.

I have to all of a sudden overt my eyes. Cause, what if she catches me stealing a peek? Will she think I'm a pervert? What if I do see a little bit of nipple? If she has big nipples... well the baby's head is in the way. I can't see a thing... that's not fair. Maybe if she just moved the baby over a little bit.


I don't have a problem with allowing the right for women to breast feed in public. It seems like the right thing to do, the logical thing to do.

But, in private? Forcing companies and stores to allow women the right to breast feed seems a little harsh. I mean, I understand if StarBucks doesn't want that happening in their place of business. It makes some people uncomfortable. And, if some people are uncomfortable, they'll go somewhere else to buy coffee. It's a simple business transaction, nothing more.

Businesses are privately owned and operated, and have the right to refuse service to people for whatever reason the owner feels is right. I mean, it's not that I think breast feeding is wrong in any way, but in a country like this, with freedoms and rights given to the people, it seems almost backwards thinking to say, "Hey, business owner, it's going to be this way, whether you like it or not."

That's not America... I don't even think it's Canada. Maybe Switzerland... maybe.

I think it's very narrow minded for people to say, "Hey, accept it or else." You may say finding something like that uncomfortable is narrow minded, but that's what I feel. I'm just not comfortable with it. I'm not denying anyone their rights, (including store owners) but, I'm not going to just say well, this is a natural thing, and there should be no problem.

Cause, a lot of natural things are not allowed in public, and definitely not allowed in private businesses. That's just how it works. People have rights, and there are rules protecting the majority of those people's rights.

I find nothing wrong with breast feeding, but that doesn't mean I have to be comfortable with it. Some people are uncomfortable, and that's why there's so much controversy. If no one found it uncomfortable, there wouldn't be a problem. Everyone would agree it's ok, and we'd go on with life.

 

[Guest]

I think it's very narrow minded for people to say, "Hey, accept it or else." You may say finding something like that uncomfortable is narrow minded, but that's what I feel. I'm just not comfortable with it. I'm not denying anyone their rights, (including store owners) but, I'm not going to just say well, this is a natural thing, and there should be no problem.

Cause, a lot of natural things are not allowed in public, and definitely not allowed in private businesses. That's just how it works. People have rights, and there are rules protecting the majority of those people's rights.

I find nothing wrong with breast feeding, but that doesn't mean I have to be comfortable with it. Some people are uncomfortable, and that's why there's so much controversy. If no one found it uncomfortable, there wouldn't be a problem. Everyone would agree it's ok, and we'd go on with life.

You make very valid points.

In our society we tend to be uncomfortable when confronted with things that are new or different.

Example - we were out at dinner the other evening at a family restaurant and witnessed several special adults from a group home also dining.

My children were fascinated, as one young man was shouting, another was loudly singing, and others were creating quite a mess at their table.

When they left there was pandemonium, of course, as some had difficulty walking, and there was additional loud conversation.

This group made many people at the restaurant very uncomfortable and you could tell some people were very relieved when they were gone.

Should they be banned? Not allowed to dine because of their special needs?

It isn't a fashion statement nursing moms are making. It isn't a fight for free speech. They are feeding their children.

I think this should be acceptable. I think society has to learn to accept it.