molly_hunter28
*shutterbug*
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Guy, naked in front of the mirror: 'Two inches more, and I would be king!"
Wife: 'Two inches less, and you'd be queen!"
Wife: 'Two inches less, and you'd be queen!"
One for the ladies ...
- Thread starter higherlevel4u
- Start date
WantonWitch
The Devils own lil' Angel
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What are the three types of men?
The handsome, the caring and the majority
The handsome, the caring and the majority
molly_hunter28
*shutterbug*
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Why is food better than men?
Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.
I think this thread is spinning wildly out of control.....
Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.
I think this thread is spinning wildly out of control.....
WantonWitch
The Devils own lil' Angel
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What's the nicest thing about a nudist wedding?
You don't have to ask - you can see who the best man is.
Roflmfao.. do you think Higher regrets it yet ?
You don't have to ask - you can see who the best man is.
Roflmfao.. do you think Higher regrets it yet ?
WantonWitch
The Devils own lil' Angel
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How do you confuse a man?
You don't have to - they're born that way
I'm not gonna stop
You don't have to - they're born that way
I'm not gonna stop
molly_hunter28
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A few one liners...
If you want a committed man look in a mental hospital.
If he asks you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing.
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
If he didn't before he may start to...
If you want a committed man look in a mental hospital.
If he asks you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing.
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
If he didn't before he may start to...
WantonWitch
The Devils own lil' Angel
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Where is the best place to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner?
In the pages of a romance novel.
Awwww... shame
In the pages of a romance novel.
Awwww... shame
WantonWitch
The Devils own lil' Angel
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How do you scare a man ?
Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.
Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.
molly_hunter28
*shutterbug*
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What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
A padded headboard.
hotsxylady
~*His Muse*~
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"I'm getting more exercise lately."
Really means....
"The batteries in the remote are dead."
Really means....
"The batteries in the remote are dead."
molly_hunter28
*shutterbug*
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How do you grow your own dope?
Plant a man.
Plant a man.
WantonWitch
The Devils own lil' Angel
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How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
molly_hunter28
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Why are men like commercials?
You can't believe a word they say.
You can't believe a word they say.
WantonWitch
The Devils own lil' Angel
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Why are men like chocolate candies?
They look good on the outside but once it gets inside you, it's either too small, gross, or stuck to the top.
They look good on the outside but once it gets inside you, it's either too small, gross, or stuck to the top.
hotsxylady
~*His Muse*~
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"I can't find it."
Really means....
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
Really means....
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
molly_hunter28
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A Picture Is Worth...
The husband says to his wife, "You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?"
She says, "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
He smirks and replies, "You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
She calmly replies, "Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, '"What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
The husband says to his wife, "You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?"
She says, "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
He smirks and replies, "You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
She calmly replies, "Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, '"What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
WantonWitch
The Devils own lil' Angel
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WantonWitch said:Lol, Fantasy Slut started one for the guys...wonder if it'll get as many posts
hotsxylady said:Did she...I asked Higher about that if there was a male one lol
WantonWitch said:
hotsxylady said:Hehehehe men aint brave enough huh???
WantonWitch said:Either that or they can't find the jokes...and you know they won't ask for directions
hotsxylady said:LMFAO!!!!!
Yeah or use a map...
Sorry Hots... had to share it
WantonWitch
The Devils own lil' Angel
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How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
He eats beans for dinner.
molly_hunter28
*shutterbug*
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Signs She Is Getting Bored Having Sex With You
* After you request sex she replies, "Wait 'til the Nyquil kicks in."
* Gets very upset when the ashtray falls off your ass.
* Actually answers when you ask, "Who's your daddy?"
* Last time she screamed during sex was the first time she won at solitaire.
* Only moans during commercial breaks.
* Starts her fake orgasms during foreplay.
* Keeps trying to set you up with her friends.
* Runs for vacant Senate seat in New York.
* You are currently sitting backstage at the Springer show.
* Beginning to think she is only "playing" dead.
* During the act, she actually yelled out, "Oh, Baby, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda."
* Has suddenly started making you pay in advance.
* Her moans of delight discovered to actually be a .wav file.
* Instead of asking to leave her shirt on, she wants to leave her pants on too.
* Keeps asking, "Are you sure you're not gay?"
* Boredom? So that's why she keeps deflating.
* Holds up a picture of the Playboy centerfold to hurry you along.
* Asks to be on top so she can balance her checkbook better.
* She yells out her own name.
* Bangs her head on the headboard before you begin.
* After you request sex she replies, "Wait 'til the Nyquil kicks in."
* Gets very upset when the ashtray falls off your ass.
* Actually answers when you ask, "Who's your daddy?"
* Last time she screamed during sex was the first time she won at solitaire.
* Only moans during commercial breaks.
* Starts her fake orgasms during foreplay.
* Keeps trying to set you up with her friends.
* Runs for vacant Senate seat in New York.
* You are currently sitting backstage at the Springer show.
* Beginning to think she is only "playing" dead.
* During the act, she actually yelled out, "Oh, Baby, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda."
* Has suddenly started making you pay in advance.
* Her moans of delight discovered to actually be a .wav file.
* Instead of asking to leave her shirt on, she wants to leave her pants on too.
* Keeps asking, "Are you sure you're not gay?"
* Boredom? So that's why she keeps deflating.
* Holds up a picture of the Playboy centerfold to hurry you along.
* Asks to be on top so she can balance her checkbook better.
* She yells out her own name.
* Bangs her head on the headboard before you begin.
WantonWitch
The Devils own lil' Angel
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- 107,078
Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
So oxygen can get into their brains
So oxygen can get into their brains
molly_hunter28
*shutterbug*
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HER DIRECTIONS:
80....(SF)....just after the weight station near Cordelia (I think) will be an exit for 14...Sonoma and Napa....take it.....follow it all the way through.....till you end up in Fairfield...there is a signal next to...a Beer joint I think it is....I don't know...but you merge to the right which turns into a lil 2 lane freeway dealy....go through the signal...go over the bridge thing....then when you get to the next signal....make a left to go to Death Valley.... you'll be on Carneros Hwy....then you will come to a sort of dead end with a blinking red light....turn right....the road will give you a choice to go straight or veer right.....VEER RIGHT. stay on this road till you see a buncha power stuff...ya know, those big metal thingamajigs....there will be a stop sign...you can either go straight or turn right on Lincoln ...well...turn right....follow that to the end....its kinda a long way....you will hit old Bluewood Hwy....turn right on old Bluewood.....follow it down...past the 8ball (a bar that will show up on the right) which is in Cotati....stay on this road and just get on the freeway....you will pass an exit....then just get off at Wilfred Ave....just off the offramp there is a signal....turnl eft...then go straight through the next one and under the overpass....go straight.....you will see Pep Boys straight in front of you. You can chill there if you want or go to Wal Mart which you can't miss....it's in the same parking lot with Home Depot and Arby's.
HIS DIRECTIONS:
80 West
Exit 14
Exit 121 (Left at Light)
Exit 116 (Veer right)
RT Lincoln Road
RT Old Bluewood
RT Myrtle
RT Lancster
RT Lassen St
80....(SF)....just after the weight station near Cordelia (I think) will be an exit for 14...Sonoma and Napa....take it.....follow it all the way through.....till you end up in Fairfield...there is a signal next to...a Beer joint I think it is....I don't know...but you merge to the right which turns into a lil 2 lane freeway dealy....go through the signal...go over the bridge thing....then when you get to the next signal....make a left to go to Death Valley.... you'll be on Carneros Hwy....then you will come to a sort of dead end with a blinking red light....turn right....the road will give you a choice to go straight or veer right.....VEER RIGHT. stay on this road till you see a buncha power stuff...ya know, those big metal thingamajigs....there will be a stop sign...you can either go straight or turn right on Lincoln ...well...turn right....follow that to the end....its kinda a long way....you will hit old Bluewood Hwy....turn right on old Bluewood.....follow it down...past the 8ball (a bar that will show up on the right) which is in Cotati....stay on this road and just get on the freeway....you will pass an exit....then just get off at Wilfred Ave....just off the offramp there is a signal....turnl eft...then go straight through the next one and under the overpass....go straight.....you will see Pep Boys straight in front of you. You can chill there if you want or go to Wal Mart which you can't miss....it's in the same parking lot with Home Depot and Arby's.
HIS DIRECTIONS:
80 West
Exit 14
Exit 121 (Left at Light)
Exit 116 (Veer right)
RT Lincoln Road
RT Old Bluewood
RT Myrtle
RT Lancster
RT Lassen St
WantonWitch
The Devils own lil' Angel
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- Nov 8, 2004
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Why is it good that there are women astronauts?
So that when the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions
So that when the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions
hotsxylady
~*His Muse*~
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2005
- Posts
- 79,012
What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up
They're both empty from the neck up
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