One for the ladies ...

[molly_hunter28]

Man: "Your body is like a temple."


Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

 

[WantonWitch]

What is a man's idea of foreplay?


A half hour of begging

 

[molly_hunter28]

Diamonds are a girl's best friends.

Dogs are man's best friend.

So which is the dumber sex?

 

[WantonWitch]

What is the thinnest book in the world?


"What men know about women."

 

[FantasySlut]

Molly and Wanton are on a rollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll lol

 

[WantonWitch]

How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A.One - men will screw anything.
B.One - men will screw up anything.
C.Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it

I've only just started

 

[molly_hunter28]

What's a man's idea of a romantic evening?


A candlelit football stadium.

 

[hotsxylady]

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her bottom and said,

"You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."

While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence.

The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said,

"You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."

This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said,

"You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the pool man and your brother."

 

[WantonWitch]

Do you know why bankers are good lovers?


They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.

 

[molly_hunter28]

How are men like vacations?


They never seem to be long enough!

 

[WantonWitch]

What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A. No mind.
B. No business.

 

[higherlevel4u]

How are men like vacations?


They never seem to be long enough!

Hey, Molly .... you trying to outdo Witchie here??

 

[WantonWitch]

Men are like....Computers.


And a smart woman keeps a backup.

 

[molly_hunter28]

How is a man like a used car?


Both are easy to get, cheap and unreliable.


Wouldn't dream of it higher...

 

[hotsxylady]

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?


Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe

 

[WantonWitch]

Marriage certificate?


It's just another name for her work permit.

 

[hotsxylady]

What a woman says:

This place is a mess! C'mon,
You and I need to clean up,
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear
if we don't do laundry right now!



What a man hears:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
YOU AND I blah, blah, blah
blah, blah ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES, blah
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!

 

[WantonWitch]

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

 

[molly_hunter28]

So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.




What do Lifesavers do that a man can't?

Come in eight flavors.

I just love it.....

 

[WantonWitch]

When God made Man, she was just kidding.

Me too

 

[sasebrats]

What a woman says:

This place is a mess! C'mon,
You and I need to clean up,
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear
if we don't do laundry right now!



What a man hears:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
YOU AND I blah, blah, blah
blah, blah ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES, blah
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!

rotflmfao! You got that one right!

 

[hotsxylady]

TOP 10 REASONS MEN DATE BIMBOS INSTEAD OF NICE GIRLS



10. Much easier to prove that you're superior.

9. Less likely to interrupt you with thoughts or opinions of their own.

8. Won't want you to cancel your plans to watch nude Jell-O wrestling to go see "Phantom of the Opera".

7. More impressed by the thickness of your wallet--even though it's stuffed with condoms instead of money.

6. Will let you send intimate pictures of them to Beaver Hunt.

5. They won't object to demeaning comments you make about them in front of 'the guys'.

4. They actually believe you when you say, "I love you for your mind and personality -- now shut up and finish putting on that French maid outfit.

3. Don't understand computers well enough to access your files and read what you've been saying about them.

2. Their ability to comprehend spatial relationships is so poor that they really do believe that it's eight inches.

And the Number One Reason Men Date Bimbos Instead Of Nice Girls



1. They will put up with you.

 

[WantonWitch]

Men and women were created equal, but women continued to improve.

 

[molly_hunter28]

How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?

All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs

 

[sasebrats]

Q. How can you tell if a man is happy ?




A. Who cares?