Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

[Jada59]

As part of his "voracious Value" campaign, he announced he will be my running mate.

They are now leading in the polls.

 

[kurrginatorX]

They are now leading in the polls.

She has stepped from the shadows to announce she is our campaign manager.

 

[DeckardNYC]

She has stepped from the shadows to announce she is our campaign manager.

He got into a slap fight with his opponent at his very first campaign debate.

 

[kurrginatorX]

He got into a slap fight with his opponent at his very first campaign debate.

I won. Sorry, Deckard. Better luck next time.

 

[DeckardNYC]

I won. Sorry, Deckard. Better luck next time.

Caught using campaign funds for prostitutes and drugs.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Trisha, it is with some regret that we report the death of Deckard this evening. After conferring with Deckard's wife, the county coroner released a statement showing that Deckard Hopped on Pop, ate Green Eggs and Ham, then had One Fish, Two Fish, a Red Fish, and a Blue Fish. The official cause of death has been determined to be a-seuss-ination.

 

[HBergeron]

For stomping a bunch of buildings in Tokyo. Alas, Godzilla won again.

 

[kurrginatorX]

For stomping a bunch of buildings in Tokyo. Alas, Godzilla won again.

Trisha: What do you have for us tonight, Tom?

Tom: Well, in an effort to take the place of the now deceased Deckard, HBergeron set up a live feed on his computer, stripped his clothing, and began manipulating his genitalia while singing the "Baby Shark" song.

Trisha: Oh my, Tom.

Tom: Yes, Trisha. It wasn't pretty. He went through Baby Shark, Mommy Shark, Daddy Shark, and had just reached Grandma Shark when a group of hooded hackers found him and pummeled him into unconsciousness, thankfully before he reached full rigidity with "Grandpa Shark."

Trisha: Were police called, Tom?

Tom: Yes, and Mr. Bergeron--and I use the term "Mister" very lightly--was taken into custody. Now, here's new correspondent Pearl E. Gates on why it's never too early to secure one's funerary needs.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Trisha: What do you have for us tonight, Tom?

Tom: Well, in an effort to take the place of the now deceased Deckard, HBergeron set up a live feed on his computer, stripped his clothing, and began manipulating his genitalia while singing the "Baby Shark" song.

Trisha: Oh my, Tom.

Tom: Yes, Trisha. It wasn't pretty. He went through Baby Shark, Mommy Shark, Daddy Shark, and had just reached Grandma Shark when a group of hooded hackers found him and pummeled him into unconsciousness, thankfully before he reached full rigidity with "Grandpa Shark."

Trisha: Were police called, Tom?

Tom: Yes, and Mr. Bergeron--and I use the term "Mister" very lightly--was taken into custody. Now, here's new correspondent Pearl E. Gates on why it's never too early to secure one's funerary needs.

As s result of his elongated posts using up to much storage space, lit was forced to convert to a pay by word format, causing a huge loss of posters and it's ultimate demise.

 

[kurrginatorX]

As s result of his elongated posts using up to much storage space, lit was forced to convert to a pay by word format, causing a huge loss of posters and it's ultimate demise.

Tom: Well, Trisha, it looks like we've been had.

Trisha: Why do you say that, Tom?

Tom: We reported last week on the death of Deckard, but it all seems to be a prank. Our sex correspondent, Gena Talia, was out on assignment this afternoon and she filmed this footage of Deckard coming out of a port-a-potty.

Trisha: Oh, my.

Tom: Oh, my is right. Joining us now is Gena Talia. Gena?

Gena: He looked like a madman and smelled like the feces of a hundred angry steel workers, Tom. Yes, Deckard surprised us all today when he emerged from that port-a-potty. He told me he had been in it all week, baking in the putrid filth along with the human waste left behind by burly men who worked there. I honestly don't know if there's enough soap in the world to properly clean him.

Tom: And there you have it, folks. Local boob Deckard is at large once again.

Total cost of this post: $134.99 Total value: Priceless.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Tom: Well, Trisha, it looks like we've been had.

Trisha: Why do you say that, Tom?

Tom: We reported last week on the death of Deckard, but it all seems to be a prank. Our sex correspondent, Gena Talia, was out on assignment this afternoon and she filmed this footage of Deckard coming out of a port-a-potty.

Trisha: Oh, my.

Tom: Oh, my is right. Joining us now is Gena Talia. Gena?

Gena: He looked like a madman and smelled like the feces of a hundred angry steel workers, Tom. Yes, Deckard surprised us all today when he emerged from that port-a-potty. He told me he had been in it all week, baking in the putrid filth along with the human waste left behind by burly men who worked there. I honestly don't know if there's enough soap in the world to properly clean him.

Tom: And there you have it, folks. Local boob Deckard is at large once again.

Total cost of this post: $134.99 Total value: Priceless.

He was walking down the street, as usual is his home-made "Kurrginator X" costume complete with Winnie the Pooh bed-sheet cape and a wooden sword, when he chanced upon a news crew doing a report, so he jumped in front of the camera, stole the mike, and started shouting out one of his fake news reports.

 

[kurrginatorX]

He was walking down the street, as usual is his home-made "Kurrginator X" costume complete with Winnie the Pooh bed-sheet cape and a wooden sword, when he chanced upon a news crew doing a report, so he jumped in front of the camera, stole the mike, and started shouting out one of his fake news reports.

Local Boob Deckard was welcomed back to the bosom of his beloved neighborhood today after a five-day extended tour of Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, The Bronx, and Staten Island. Quipped one person on the scene, "Is he someone we should know?"

"No, man. In fact, stay away. Stay far, far away."

 

[DeckardNYC]

Local Boob Deckard was welcomed back to the bosom of his beloved neighborhood today after a five-day extended tour of Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, The Bronx, and Staten Island. Quipped one person on the scene, "Is he someone we should know?"

"No, man. In fact, stay away. Stay far, far away."

Local never-touched-a-woman's-boob kurrginatorX won an award from the Celibate Society for achieving the age of 62 without ever touching a real live woman sexually.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Local never-touched-a-woman's-boob kurrginatorX won an award from the Celibate Society for achieving the age of 62 without ever touching a real live woman sexually.

(That means I still have eight years to change history)

He was voted by People Magazine as the "Everyman." He thought that was something as prestigious as "The Sexiest Man Alive" but it turns out to be "Every Man You Want To Avoid Becoming In Life."

 

[Sweet_Lara]

I can't. I just can't compete or rise to the excellence this thread demands at the moment.

I think I will name my left boob Deckard and my right one Kurrg.

You two rock! one for each.

 

[TwinkleStars]

"This just in: Sweet_Lara was just seen running naked threw a crowd on Daytona Beach. She had a rubber chicken in her left hand and was screaming, 'BACAW BACAW!' " Police have yet to catch her"

 

[kurrginatorX]

This just in: Pet rock held hostage. More after the break.

 

[Lord Pmann]

This just in: Pet rock held hostage. More after the break.

Grumpy man holds people hostage and grumps at them.

 

[DarkSimian]

Murdered by grumpy old man. They do that nowadays, ya know...

Local woman accidentally summons Cthulu during D&D game; film at 11.

 

[JerseyJade]

Local woman accidentally summons Cthulu during D&D game; film at 11.

Mysterious masked man orders a Big Mac and French fries and leaves without paying.

 

[DarkSimian]

Mysterious masked man orders a Big Mac and French fries and leaves without paying.

Local woman gives blow jobs for charity; all procedes will benefit local pregnant woman's baby shower

 

[DeckardNYC]

Local woman accidentally summons Cthulu during D&D game; film at 11.

Residents over at the trailer park on 4th Avenue claim to have spotted a reptilian simian kind of animal, rummaging in the garbage cans. It reportedly growled and grunted like the KeyMaster of Gozer, causing children to scream and dogs to howl. Our crack helicopter is on the way.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Residents over at the trailer park on 4th Avenue claim to have spotted a reptilian simian kind of animal, rummaging in the garbage cans. It reportedly growled and grunted like the KeyMaster of Gozer, causing children to scream and dogs to howl. Our crack helicopter is on the way.

Subway masturbation. (The transit system, not the restaurant)

 

[DeckardNYC]

Subway masturbation. (The transit system, not the restaurant)

Naked man running through Times Square waving his ridiculously sized schlong at all the old ladies.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Naked man running through Times Square waving his ridiculously sized schlong at all the old ladies.

He turned a bit darker than me by baking in the sun. He was not warned of what those meds could do when staying in the sun.