Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

[DeckardNYC]

He turned a bit darker than me by baking in the sun. He was not warned of what those meds could do when staying in the sun.

*are you stalking me irl? Not meds, though, just Italian skin*

She melted on a park bench in the sun -- because she is, after, caramel cream . . .

 

[kurrginatorX]

*are you stalking me irl? Not meds, though, just Italian skin*

She melted on a park bench in the sun -- because she is, after, caramel cream . . .

Tom: Local boob Deckard is up to his old antics again. Ah … Just roll the footage. I'm gonna go have a smoke.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Tom: Local boob Deckard is up to his old antics again. Ah … Just roll the footage. I'm gonna go have a smoke.

Another attack by a costume character in Times Square. This time from some person calling himself "Kurrginator X," with a bedsheet cape and a handdrawn costume. Got upset when a couple from Missouri refused to pay him for a picture of "Kurrginator X" taken by their child, and he attacked them with a spoon. Which, by the way, authorities say he had been using for his heroin addiction.

 

[beachbaby179]

He stripped down in Times Square and challenged the Naked Cowboy to a ... sword fight ...

 

[DeckardNYC]

He stripped down in Times Square and challenged the Naked Cowboy to a ... sword fight ...

Tried to tackle the naked cowboy to show she, the naked cowgirl, was king of Times Square and he better take a back seat! And, of course, scared a bunch of tourists and got arrested....

 

[kurrginatorX]

Tried to tackle the naked cowboy to show she, the naked cowgirl, was king of Times Square and he better take a back seat! And, of course, scared a bunch of tourists and got arrested....

Trisha: Coming up, hair stylist Anita Whigg on how to keep a cool head this summer, but first this. Tom?

Tom: First this, indeed, Trisha. Local Boob Deckard was forcibly removed from a PS 101 talent show this afternoon when he began heckling a first grader who was telling Knock-Knock jokes. Not only was he giving the punchlines, but he kept telling her to get new material.

Trisha: Was he arrested, Tom?

Tom: We may have to move to another thread to find out, Trisha.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Trisha: Coming up, hair stylist Anita Whigg on how to keep a cool head this summer, but first this. Tom?

Tom: First this, indeed, Trisha. Local Boob Deckard was forcibly removed from a PS 101 talent show this afternoon when he began heckling a first grader who was telling Knock-Knock jokes. Not only was he giving the punchlines, but he kept telling her to get new material.

Trisha: Was he arrested, Tom?

Tom: We may have to move to another thread to find out, Trisha.

This just in, local man Kurrg I. Nator arrested for indecent exposure, police said his man-boobs were so large -- X cup -- that they are indecent unless in a bra. Local women's groups are marching on City Hall, protesting, they want the right to go braless and topless if Mr. Nator is allowed to go braless and topless.

 

[Jada59]

He kicked sand into the face of a 92 pound, millennial weakling. The poor snowflake was triggered and couldn't stop screaming.

 

[kurrginatorX]

He kicked sand into the face of a 92 pound, millennial weakling. The poor snowflake was triggered and couldn't stop screaming.

Local feline aficionado Jada59 was arrested outside her home early this evening. It seems she has been luring dogs in with jerky treats and then processing them and feeding them to her cats.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Local feline aficionado Jada59 was arrested outside her home early this evening. It seems she has been luring dogs in with jerky treats and then processing them and feeding them to her cats.

When interviewed, he's the one at a new casino, who was asked what would he do if he hit the jackpot who responded he'd spend it on drugs and hookers.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Tom: Local starlet BlackCaramelCreme was seen earlier today giving chocolate sweeties to blind children at St. Vincent's Orphanage.

Trisha: Oh, how sweet, Tom.

Tom: Oh, how sweet, Tom, indeed, Trisha, until it was discovered that the sweeties in question were actually dog turds disguised in used candy wrappers.

Trisha: What a horrible thing, Tom.

Tom: Yes, and before she could be apprehended she skated away shouting, "You think you have won, you think all is well, kiss my black ass, I'll see you in hell."

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Tom: Local starlet BlackCaramelCreme was seen earlier today giving chocolate sweeties to blind children at St. Vincent's Orphanage.

Trisha: Oh, how sweet, Tom.

Tom: Oh, how sweet, Tom, indeed, Trisha, until it was discovered that the sweeties in question were actually dog turds disguised in used candy wrappers.

Trisha: What a horrible thing, Tom.

Tom: Yes, and before she could be apprehended she skated away shouting, "You think you have won, you think all is well, kiss my black ass, I'll see you in hell."

He got stuck in an open manhole. Unfortunately, he was wearing a kilt with nothing under it and fell head first into it. His tiny bits had to be blocked.

 

[kurrginatorX]

He got stuck in an open manhole. Unfortunately, he was wearing a kilt with nothing under it and fell head first into it. His tiny bits had to be blocked.

She called a press conference to say she was running for president … of the R. Kelly fan club.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

She called a press conference to say she was running for president … of the R. Kelly fan club.

He is walking his pet bunny and the news crew was called because it's hunting season and he is daring others to shoot at him while Fluffy is on a leash and he's carrying a bow and arrow to protect him. He keeps saying, why don't they let him be?

 

[kurrginatorX]

He is walking his pet bunny and the news crew was called because it's hunting season and he is daring others to shoot at him while Fluffy is on a leash and he's carrying a bow and arrow to protect him. He keeps saying, why don't they let him be?

She was asked to join The Spice Girls. She is supposed to take Scary Spice's place because Mel B has other obligations. After a cocktail of prune juice and Mira-Lax, well, the worst possible thing happened. She is now known as Shitty Spice.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

She was asked to join The Spice Girls. She is supposed to take Scary Spice's place because Mel B has other obligations. After a cocktail of prune juice and Mira-Lax, well, the worst possible thing happened. She is now known as Shitty Spice.

He was supposed to sing the national anthem at the local baseball game. He showed up drunk and began singing Darling Nikki instead and acting it out like Prince did in Purple Rain.

 

[kurrginatorX]

He was supposed to sing the national anthem at the local baseball game. He showed up drunk and began singing Darling Nikki instead and acting it out like Prince did in Purple Rain.

She joined me onstage for the obligatory "accidental" nip slip. Parents covered their children's eyes, but news cameras got close-ups.

 

[TwinkleStars]

She joined me onstage for the obligatory "accidental" nip slip. Parents covered their children's eyes, but news cameras got close-ups.

"Tonight's top story, kurrginatorX was found making out with a rubber ducky in a porn theater. More at 11."

 

[Sweet_Lara]

"Tonight's top story, kurrginatorX was found making out with a rubber ducky in a porn theater. More at 11."

Twinkle Stars extinguished when caught up in tail of meteor. The sky is a darker place tonight.

 

[de_valmont]

Twinkle Stars extinguished when caught up in tail of meteor. The sky is a darker place tonight.

When she woke up again tonight, she wasn't really awake and went outside in her panties. I love the photos and clips I and others shot.

 

[DeckardNYC]

When she woke up again tonight, she wasn't really awake and went outside in her panties. I love the photos and clips I and others shot.

Man arrested for unauthorized distribution of Lara's semi-nude pics on social media, will do time if convicted, and probably have to register as a sex offender.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Man arrested for unauthorized distribution of Lara's semi-nude pics on social media, will do time if convicted, and probably have to register as a sex offender.

Local man found with hoard of photos of Sweet Lara in compromising positions. When asked how he came about to possess such, he stated, de_valmont, whatever that means.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Local man found with hoard of photos of Sweet Lara in compromising positions. When asked how he came about to possess such, he stated, de_valmont, whatever that means.

He hijacked the local news coverage by making his butt clap in the background of reports about a traffic jam.

 

[DeckardNYC]

He hijacked the local news coverage by making his butt clap in the background of reports about a traffic jam.

There was a news conference in Baltimore where IMPORTANT PEOPLE were discussing SERIOUS STUFF and she gleefully photo bombed them by skating rings around the announcer and the stuffed shirt men and women making their grand political pronouncements.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Trisha: Once again, Helen Waite is our new quality control official, so if you have a problem, go to Helen Waite. Tom?

Tom: Go to Helen Waite, Tom, indeed, Trisha. This just in, it seems that local boob Deckard has won a masturbator award. Imagine that, Trisha. An award for being a masturbator. Oh, I apologize. There is a typo on my script. It is the prestigious Master Baiter award, given every summer at Camp Kinnaholmapeepee to the person who lands the largest fish. Congratulations go out to Mr. Deckard, and remember: You can always go to Helen Waite. Now here's Stormy Skye with the weather.