~Post baseless lies about the person above you - V.6~

[Cwtchseeker]

Is not actually old no 7 brand tennessee tequila

Is not the little crackers used by Tom Hanks character in the film The Terminal

 

[cactusjack0584]

Is not the little crackers used by Tom Hanks character in the film The Terminal

Was also trapped in an airport… because he didn’t know the difference between a push and pull door… legend says he’s still there pulling his little heart out…

 

[Cwtchseeker]

Was also trapped in an airport… because he didn’t know the difference between a push and pull door… legend says he’s still there pulling his little heart out

Owns a Cacti based liquor store called The Drunken Prick

 

[cactusjack0584]

Owns a Cacti based liquor store called The Drunken Prick

Goes exclusively to this bar… and hits on the waitresses… like a lot

 

[UsuallyPresent]

The ‘waitresses’ are cacti on roombas

 

[NewEng]

Never present when you need him

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Never present when you need him

Puts that old top hat in his head hoping to be imbued with magic. Then … off to Hogwarts!

 

[cactusjack0584]

Puts that old top hat in his head hoping to be imbued with magic. Then … off to Hogwarts!

Thinks he’s a wizard but is just a weird guy wearing a hat from the dollar store waving a stick around a park “casting spells” on squirrels and birds

 

[Cwtchseeker]

0584 is his bank card PIN

 

[cactusjack0584]

0584 is his bank card PIN

Wrong it’s…. Wait a minute…
https://media4.giphy.com/media/sDcfxFDozb3bO/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952qo7hrso0l36x08roclo6u8fuwlmxfsjc8xx5zkue&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

[UsuallyPresent]

… has forgotten his PIN

 

[cactusjack0584]

… has forgotten his PIN

Do they have letters in them? If not, then yes yes I have

 

[Scarred65]

Is actually a thawed out caveman struggling with the modern world.

 

[Chloe_Harper]

Is actually a thawed out caveman struggling with the modern world.

Thaws out creatures from the ice age yelling "You're free! You're free!"

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Thaws out ice cubes yelling, "You’re wet! You’re wet!"

 

[Chloe_Harper]

Thaws out ice cubes yelling, "You’re wet! You’re wet!"

Is fascinated by the concept of someone being wet because he's never seen it before

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Yep, we’re waterless, living up here on the moon. *nod*nod*

Her sarcasm is overwhelmed by her scientific acumen.

 

[Scarred65]

Has a supernatural genetic condition which results in all partners drowning in their orgasmic wetness.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Yep, we’re waterless, living up here on the moon. *nod*nod*

Her sarcasm is overwhelmed by her scientific acumen.

Tracks more like an insult than a baseless lie but …

He enjoys boxing with kangaroos on Sundays.

 

[Cwtchseeker]

Tracks more like an insult than a baseless lie but …

He enjoys boxing with kangaroos on Sundays.

Thai box’s with Elephants on Saturdays at the same venue

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Thai box’s with Elephants on Saturdays at the same venue

I love the image of an elephant throwing a stiff knee

Had a black belt in tong fu … the first kitchen martial art!

 

[MiaBabe23]

Lost a memory skills contest with an elephant

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Lost a memory skills contest with an elephant

Made Gordon Ramsay cry at a cook off!

 

[MiaBabe23]

He’s known as a talented chef, but actually serves local restaurant meals as his own

 

[Sammysub07]

Goes to the resturaunt everyday in a bright pink tutu