Professional women that secretly like to be dominated

[LizVegas79]

I for one am a professional, very in control, often considered intimidating, assertive, well-respected, and highly educated professional woman (and modest and beautiful ).

Today I have to give a professional talk and I am dressed to the nines. But, I will tell you, the more stress I am under, the more control I am expected to exert, and the more deadlines I must meet, the more need I feel to be "taken" and dominated.

Part of being a Type A alpha-female is not feeling comfortable abdicating control. I think that is why I like the thought of a larger imposing male figure "taking" the control from me. This way I needn't feel I've sacrificed my position. Having someone bigger and more aggressive than me allows me to relax.

So, I think it makes sense that as I (dare I say, many women) feel increase stress and pressure, I feel an increased craving to be dominated.

Just my $.02. Have a wonderful day lovely people.

K

Haha - that last part = best ever.

The first bolded part is exactly what happens for me. The conflict. The confusion is arousing. I hate feeling anxious and uncertain but it makes me wet. When someone slaps me and I feel all indignant and "fuck you" and then I realize I'm all crazy turned on... force me to do the dirty things no good girl should be doing.

So true! I think this conflict and reaction must be hard-wired into our DNA!

Don't you dare sit there and dream of having sex with me!
Take me! Use me! Make me freaking scream!

 

[TheJestersAdvocate]

What's wrong with The Pretenders?

I thought they were a decent band....

http://youtu.be/bLpmj059JFA

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[TheJestersAdvocate]

That sounds kind of hot. Oh wait. Bending spoons WITH OUR MINDS... I was thinking something else.

Um, bending something different or using another method to bend spoons? A bit of clarification is needed.

You can bend a spoon with your mind!?

You could bend a spoon like me, too. It just takes dedication.

Talk about a low hanging fruit basket.

I was going to make this joke and didn't

Thank you, I could hug you

Had to, Fara beat me to the "I'm a believer" joke.

*gives ya a big warm strong bearhug* Someone has to tell the corny jokes.

 

[GrrlFriday]

No. I can't say being forced is the main appeal - for me - in submitting to someone else. I don't want my guy to wrestle my submission out of me. I want to serve him joyfully. I submit because I want to serve him. I put his pleasure, his needs before mine. Submission isn't always related to sex. It's the desire to see someone pleased or content or happy because of my actions. It can be rubbing his feet after a long day.

There is a sub-set (!!!) of sexual acts related to non-consent. I'm not quite sure this has anything to do with being submissive. It might be a submissive act but you don't have to identify as submissive to engage in this stuff. It's just a fun, kinky "take me, make me be a bad girl" fantasy.

I pointed this out earlier:



So, it's more about getting turned on that a guy is so crazy with lust for you, he had to have you NOW... it has more to do with desire than force.

In the end, though, I'm not sure the reasons why matter. Whether you're a stressed out, in charge alpha type woman or a happy go lucky chick, can't we just all enjoy our consentual non-consent rape play?

Bringing it back to your question, though, the rape fantasy romance novel stuff is is not submission in a bdsm context.

Thanks! I was confused, because the 'irresistable' theory was innately appealing, but the article all seemed to be about rape fantasy in romance novels (drawing a few citations from literature in the 80s, which I seem to recall the Smart Bitches regard as an era which was particularly rape-y in romance fiction). I'm not sure how profound the impact of reading material on BDSM practices is - although I'm sure EL James would beg to differ.

 

[SpunThings]

BDSM relationships are about power transfer. The sub relinquishes power to the dom, trusting the dom will not abuse the power.

Asking for a particular roleplay / fantasy is basically PRETENDING to lose control of the situation, and get lost in the moment, get the emotional release, to face the rest of the day.

And lifestyle partners can read each other's desires... AND moods AND thoughts. It's what separates a real D/s pair and wannabes (or pretenders).

I reject this idea of "pretending" being any less or real than otherwise. This concept of "wannabes" is very elitist.

 

[KayceeCharles]

You are correct. If you believe it as real in the scene, then it is real "enough" for you.

And obviously, one had to be a wannabe before they become the real thing.

I should have clarified that. (sigh)

 

[MeekMe]

BDSM relationships are about power transfer. The sub relinquishes power to the dom, trusting the dom will not abuse the power.

Asking for a particular roleplay / fantasy is basically PRETENDING to lose control of the situation, and get lost in the moment, get the emotional release, to face the rest of the day.

Or, it's that way for some people. Mostly though, we have to use our words if we want something and asking for a fantasy doesn't mean we pretend to lose control. Certainly a discussion can be had about some key points, but a PYL doesn't have to stick to a script. And merely asking for something doesn't mean it'll happen.

And not every pyl is needing an "emotional release to get through their day."

And lifestyle partners can read each other's desires... AND moods AND thoughts. It's what separates a real D/s pair and wannabes (or pretenders).

No, we literally still have to use our words. Communicating with words doesn't make anyone a wannabe or pretender. Mind reading is not a requirement for it to be twue d/s.

You are correct. If you believe it as real in the scene, then it is real "enough" for you.

And obviously, one had to be a wannabe before they become the real thing.

I should have clarified that. (sigh)

Not everyone does "scenes." Sometimes there's no sex involved in d/s relationships and sometimes it's a 24/7 deal, while it's only in the bedroom for others. Perhaps you should lay off trying to label what is considered "real." The only people that can determine that are the people involved in the relationship.

 

[KayceeCharles]

Must be one of those days when I couldn't say anything right. *sigh*

 

[DVS]

DVS sighting!!!! Wow. Missed you dude.

LOL, thanks for the edit! It was causing an identity crisis within. And it's nice to be missed.

 

[HeyAll]

Really sexy thread. I love the fantasy of a professional woman.

But it would be pretty funny if a guy was used dating a professional woman who was submissive, for a couple years, then moving on to a date a non sub.

"That's it, you whore."

"What!?"

 

[cascadiabound]

LOL, thanks for the edit! It was causing an identity crisis within. And it's nice to be missed.

You are welcome...silly auto correct! Apologies.
sooooo embarrassing....

And yes. You are missed when you are not around. Really.

 

[Farawyn]

Really sexy thread. I love the fantasy of a professional woman.

But it would be pretty funny if a guy was used dating a professional woman who was submissive, for a couple years, then moving on to a date a non sub.

"That's it, you whore."

"What!?"

*cues up laugh track*

 

[oOMinxOo]

Guilty.

 

[Cumference]

Another thing to consider ( it really has been considered already) is the pure relaxation of handing over control.


Fun kink, good sex and you are not the one carrying the burden of command while we're having fun.

 

[daddysbaby150]

Wow. This is a great topic and one that I don't get to talk about very often although I do have strong feelings about it.

First off, I should confess I have been for years and still am guilty of reading a fair amount of what some of you would probably call pulp romance novels.

Second, I am a relatively tall woman (almost 5'11") nearing 40 who wears heels and dresses for work and I have a somewhat high profile job where I have a fair amount of latitude to call the shots on a day-to-day basis.

That being said, part of the appeal I have for strong, dominating men (like the man I married despite frequent arguments) is that, honestly, I get my way more often than not, at work and in the bedroom even with what you'd probably call an alpha male.

Not getting my way, or being told I can't get my way, simultaneously pisses me off AND, often, is a huge (usually inconvenient) turn-on.

It's my theory that those two conflicting emotions, or perhaps you might call them reactions, are what fuel my secret fire. I'm totally guilty of tell me I can't have something and I want it more, even if I didn't originally want it.

I think it boils down to power, perceived power and honestly, trusting someone else enough to want to give them your power - which is HUGE, at least for me. Most of my customers are men. I like being thought of as tough and I work at projecting confidence. I like being respected (or feared lol) at work but I like being a woman sometimes too.

Maybe I've read too many romance novels and self-help books, but that's my theory - at least until we're stuck in an elevator together for hours and you convince me to play strip poker with you and (I decide to let) you win because the building's on fire and there's a strong chance we're going to die anyway.

I'm in charge except when I want you to be in charge but I'm not going to tell you when I want you to be in charge and if you guess wrong there's going to be hell to pay.

OMG this. 100% this. Very well stated.

 

[Miles Long]

So is that guy still banging the CFO on her lunch break or how did that whole thing turn out?

 

[Farawyn]

So is that guy still banging the CFO on her lunch break or how did that whole thing turn out?

*dies laughing*

 

[midwestyankee]

So is that guy still banging the CFO on her lunch break or how did that whole thing turn out?

*dies laughing*

This is another one of those "I Can Prove That I'm a Self-Absorbed Asshat in 2 Posts or Less" threads, isn't it?

 

[KentuckyDom1971]

Intelligent, classy, well-dressed, self-assured, successful but yet when alone is willing to hand total trust to that strong man so he can own her pleasure for that moment.
What more can a lucky man I ask for?

 

[LizVegas79]

Intelligent, classy, well-dressed, self-assured, successful but yet when alone is willing to hand total trust to that strong man so he can own her pleasure for that moment.
What more can a lucky man I ask for?

A woman who knows that he knows her naughty little secret!

 

[Miles Long]

This is another one of those "I Can Prove That I'm a Self-Absorbed Asshat in 2 Posts or Less" threads, isn't it?

Yes, and I have perfected the art of proving I'm a self-absorbed asshat in just one post!

 

[midwestyankee]

Yes, and I have perfected the art of proving I'm a self-absorbed asshat in just one post!

I bow before a man with superior talent.

 

[NastyDom40]

such intense and rewarding for sure

power exchange dynamic is always deep , intense, fruitful and definitely rewarding whether on short terms or on the long run. so when a man is taking the lead and in control of a woman in Dom/sub setting, it 'll be quite fruitful and mind blowing if they were floating the same boat. if it happen that the female is one who use to be in charge yet she craves to be taken and dominated, then it 'll be intensified and lifetime memorable sort of thing
Looking forward to chatting and connecting with like-minded females partner-in-crime

Nasty.

 

[subtle_Dom]

Great thread. I have always been drawn to intelligent, independent, seemingly confident women, that enjoy to "unburden" themselves of their daily responsibilities in a trusting, mutually beneficial relationship. I have never thought of this power exchange as any sign of weakness as I believe that it often takes a strong woman to let go in that way.. From my end there is nothing more exciting than that moment when you have reached a point in a relationship where she is comfortable enough to lower her defenses just a bit. At that moment the power exchange is palpable and can strike like a lightning bolt.