Puns

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

If a pig loses its voice…does it become disgruntled?

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

If prisoners could take their own mug shots…They’d be called cellfies.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

What do you call a wizard who's really bad at football? Fumbledore.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.

 

[Condor4]

 

[investor2020]

View attachment 2158487

 

[FranklyFrank]

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Philippe Flop.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for fresh prints.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line. Only a fraction of people will understand this

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

How does cereal pay its bills? With Chex.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[Condor4]

I just took a car for a test drive down at the dealers, they guy asked me "what's your impression of this vehicle" I said "broom brooooom brooooom".