Question for women: Orgasms without touching the clit

[Firebrain]

Scott - women are built in a somewhat cruel fashion. Sometimes getting to orgasm is a complete slog, even if I'm very aroused (and I don't think it's due to time of the month, judging by my own experience). There have been times when I've actually stopped my partner from touching me because I know it'll take ages and I can't be arsed, even though I very much want to have sex. I'd rather just get on with it. (Interestingly enough, though, it's a lot easier since giving birth. Food for thought).

Female orgasms are a complex science, if indeed they are a science at all. They're also highly subjective and one woman's orgasm is another's mere tremor.

What I'm trying to say is that if a woman knows she can orgasm through having her clitoris touched then she probably knows her body better than anyone else, and you may as well indulge her. Don't patronise her by telling her about the existence of other elusive orgasms because she probably feels bothered enough that a traditional one takes quite the effort. When you have mastered those for her...then, you can explore other things.

 

[ScottSwing]

Not all women are capable of G-spot orgasm. In some women, g-spot stimulation can be painful, and to some women it's totally numb.

And not all women are capable of a clitoral orgasm, But as we've discussed, there are more than just two options.

 

[Firebrain]

And not all women are capable of a clitoral orgasm, But as we've discussed, there are more than just two options.

Honestly - aside from a very small proportion of women, that isn't really true.

 

[satindesire]

And not all women are capable of a clitoral orgasm, But as we've discussed, there are more than just two options.

You're not getting my point. I'm not trying to be argumentative or combative or abrasive here, so I'd appreciate it if you'd do me the same, please.

You said quite clearly that some women feel like they aren't 'educated' about their g-spot and the orgasms they could have from them, and I'm saying that their supposed 'lack' of education could merely be the fact that they already know they can't orgasm like that. The g-spot is not the end-all be-all of orgasm.

Honestly - aside from a very small proportion of women, that isn't really true.

Yes, THANK you FB. At least someone gets me. *sigh*

 

[ScottSwing]

What I'm trying to say is that if a woman knows she can orgasm through having her clitoris touched then she probably knows her body better than anyone else, and you may as well indulge her. Don't patronise her by telling her about the existence of other elusive orgasms because she probably feels bothered enough that a traditional one takes quite the effort. When you have mastered those for her...then, you can explore other things.

Of course she knows how to make herself come, but I'd like to take it even higher.
She has one set of skills and I have another. Together, perhaps we can ascend to something much greater. If not, then that's fine too.

I'd never patronize a woman by attempting to tell her what her body can and can't do, but if she's too terrified of herself to even make the effort, then this really isn't the type of woman I'm interested in spending time with.

 

[satindesire]

Of course she knows how to make herself come, but I'd like to take it even higher.
She has one set of skills and I have another. Together, perhaps we can ascend to something much greater. If not, then that's fine too.

I'd never patronize a woman by attempting to tell her what her body can and can't do, but if she's too terrified of herself to even make the effort, then this really isn't the type of woman I'm interested in spending time with.

I never understood men that are so vaginally focused that they seem to have absolutely no appreciation of the clitoris at all.



What about the clitoris is so intimidating or "boring" that they feel such a strong desire to force a g-spot orgasm out of every female they get their hands on?!

 

[ScottSwing]

Honestly - aside from a very small proportion of women, that isn't really true.

If she's part of the 1% who like this, or the 10% who likes that, or the 60% who likes something else, then I need to find out.

You said quite clearly that some women feel like they aren't 'educated' about their g-spot and the orgasms they could have from them, and I'm saying that their supposed 'lack' of education could merely be the fact that they already know they can't orgasm like that. The g-spot is not the end-all be-all of orgasm.

No, I said that I've had to explain to some women what a G-spot is. And there is no superlative orgasm.

 

[miaction69]

clit ones only cum if it's being stimulated (rubbing, licking, water pressure, fucking position-got to be rubbing on him etc) most of mine are deep or g created by having something or someone inside me - yeah there's a big difference in feel - clit cums are much less intense (for me) and fade much quicker and feel totally different - I cant multiple clip - but I can multiple deep or g

 

[ScottSwing]

I never understood men that are so vaginally focused that they seem to have absolutely no appreciation of the clitoris at all.



What about the clitoris is so intimidating or "boring" that they feel such a strong desire to force a g-spot orgasm out of every female they get their hands on?!

I never said that! I'm interested in using a woman's entire body. Foremost, her mind to prepare her for the encounter. Read some of my posts on the first page.

 

[satindesire]

I never said that! I'm interested in using a woman's entire body. Foremost, her mind to prepare her for the encounter. Read some of my posts on the first page.

I've read and re-read the entire thread several times.

I still get the impression that your focus on the g-spot is rather...intense.

 

[miaction69]

I never said that! I'm interested in using a woman's entire body. Foremost, her mind to prepare her for the encounter. Read some of my posts on the first page.

i like a man who appreciates and understands that preparation is all in a womans mind
wish all men knew this

 

[infinity706]

Of course it's uncommon, but far from unfeasible.
Skene's gland! The U-spot they're calling it now, a "newly discovered" organ. There was a time when it was believed the female orgasm didn't exist, and bam, the G-spot was discovered. There are so many myths about that shit and I still have women telling me it's impossible to come without rubbing the clitoris.

Hell yes! Those are the kinds I like to give.
But it seems like all anyone's ever heard of is the clitoris. I've actually had to explain to a few women what a G-spot is.

There are many places you can touch a woman to give her an orgasm. That's why I'm trying to master doing everything with one hand- unbutton her pants with one hand, put on a condom with one hand, etc. So the other hand, my legs, my arms, my lips can all be busy doing something else.

Most women just say "I don't know" when I ask them about how something feels. I can't blame them, but they aren't helping me make them come!


Link?

Technically, all those women are right. The magical g-spot orgasm is probably caused by clitoral rubbing, too. That Skene's gland rubs up against other parts of her clit that are in the area. That little bump is the head (glans clitoris). It's not the only part, though. There's a lot more that you can't feel. It has legs (crus of the clitoris) and bulbs (vestibular bulbs) that span pretty much the entire area of her pussy. They're just behind all the bone and muscle, so you can't feel them. That thing seriously takes up most of her crotch just like a penis. The part you can see just isn't as big. The vagina isn't actually sexually sensitive other than little bit at the start and the reason why women like thickness as long as it isn't painful is because it stimulates her clit. Seriously, a woman's sexual anatomy isn't set up anywhere near ideally for penis in vagina sex. Now, that doesn't mean she can't enjoy it at all.

Really, though, the best strategy is to just play with her and let her enjoy herself without worrying about orgasm, though. It's also very helpful if you can convince her to play with herself in front of you.

Not all women are capable of G-spot orgasm. In some women, g-spot stimulation can be painful, and to some women it's totally numb.

It's different on this site because the people who come here are generally very...sexual...and have either had a lot of experience sexually or very bold and adventurous partners. The norm outside of this site in the real world is that most women can ONLY orgasm through clitoral stimulation.

So what you've experienced in person is actually VERY normal and common.

I wouldn't say there's really anything stopping any woman from ever having g-spot orgasms. Just like you said yesterday, the brain can rewire itself over time. You can even cause a woman to start producing milk if you consistantly play with her boobs and suck on her nipples like an baby.

Scott - women are built in a somewhat cruel fashion. Sometimes getting to orgasm is a complete slog, even if I'm very aroused (and I don't think it's due to time of the month, judging by my own experience). There have been times when I've actually stopped my partner from touching me because I know it'll take ages and I can't be arsed, even though I very much want to have sex. I'd rather just get on with it. (Interestingly enough, though, it's a lot easier since giving birth. Food for thought).

Female orgasms are a complex science, if indeed they are a science at all. They're also highly subjective and one woman's orgasm is another's mere tremor.

What I'm trying to say is that if a woman knows she can orgasm through having her clitoris touched then she probably knows her body better than anyone else, and you may as well indulge her. Don't patronise her by telling her about the existence of other elusive orgasms because she probably feels bothered enough that a traditional one takes quite the effort. When you have mastered those for her...then, you can explore other things.

I wouldn't say don't mention the existance of other orgasms. It's nice to know there's a lot of things out there as long as there isn't some trememdous pressure to do everything perfectly, right now.

 

[ScottSwing]

I've read and re-read the entire thread several times.

I said:
"Hell yes! Those are the kinds I like to give."

and:
"So the other hand, my legs, my arms, my lips can all be busy doing something else."

I'm not even the one who brought up the G-spot in this thread.

If you want to believe that even though I'm explaining to you that it was not my intention, then fuck it. Let's move on.

And the clit is great, but even she may be bored with it from time to time.


I'm sure you enjoy yours well enough and I have no desire to change your sexual practices against your will, but the ladies I fuck aren't all the same.

 

[satindesire]

I said:
"Hell yes! Those are the kinds I like to give."

and:
"So the other hand, my legs, my arms, my lips can all be busy doing something else."

I'm not even the one who brought up the G-spot in this thread.

If you want to believe that even though I'm explaining to you that it was not my intention, then fuck it. Let's move on.

And the clit is great, but even she may be bored with it from time to time.


I'm sure you enjoy yours well enough and I have no desire to change your sexual practices against your will, but the ladies I fuck aren't all the same.

No, you didn't directly bring up the g-spot, but the only other kinds of orgasms that a woman can have are limited to g-spot, anal, vaginal (g-spot) and nipple orgasms.

Again, I'm not trying to be abrasive, but if you're going to continue to have a nasty attitude with me, then I'm just gong to consider this conversation over.

 

[ScottSwing]

No, you didn't directly bring up the g-spot, but the only other kinds of orgasms that a woman can have are limited to g-spot, anal, vaginal (g-spot) and nipple orgasms.

That's just bullshit as wicked woman, I, and a few others have pointed out. Those are the types of orgasms you can have.

Again, I'm not trying to be abrasive, but if you're going to continue to have a nasty attitude with me, then I'm just gong to consider this conversation over.

So are you the one being abrasive or me? That sounds ambiguous.

I've been specifically trying not to be rude and I don't plan to apologize for defending myself.

Really, though, the best strategy is to just play with her and let her enjoy herself without worrying about orgasm, though. It's also very helpful if you can convince her to play with herself in front of you.
I wouldn't say there's really anything stopping any woman from ever having g-spot orgasms. Just like you said yesterday, the brain can rewire itself over time. You can even cause a woman to start producing milk if you consistantly play with her boobs and suck on her nipples like an baby.

And men as well.
http://discovermagazine.com/1995/feb/fathersmilk468

 

[infinity706]

http://img268.imagevenue.com/loc456/th_91138_chillpill_122_456lo.jpg

 

[Firebrain]

I think this issue is generally contentious because many women feel under enough pressure to orgasm during sex as it is before a guy starts telling her that one kind is actually a bit tame, and she should be going for something different and more exciting. Yes, there are other kinds of orgasms besides clitoral but really, that in itself is the holy grail.

Also, if you ask her how it feels and she says "I don't know," that's not exactly promising with regards to your skill Ironically enough, if something as simple as a kiss really can trigger an orgasm, there's no need to train yourself as some form of sexual octopus.

 

[satindesire]

I think this issue is generally contentious because many women feel under enough pressure to orgasm during sex as it is before a guy starts telling her that one kind is actually a bit tame, and she should be going for something different and more exciting. Yes, there are other kinds of orgasms besides clitoral but really, that in itself is the holy grail.

Also, if you ask her how it feels and she says "I don't know," that's not exactly promising with regards to your skill Ironically enough, if something as simple as a kiss really can trigger an orgasm, there's no need to train yourself as some form of sexual octopus.

Hi5^ girl.

 

[Firebrain]

[high five, The Todd style]

 

[ScottSwing]

I think this issue is generally contentious because many women feel under enough pressure to orgasm during sex as it is before a guy starts telling her that one kind is actually a bit tame, and she should be going for something different and more exciting. Yes, there are other kinds of orgasms besides clitoral but really, that in itself is the holy grail.

Also, if you ask her how it feels and she says "I don't know," that's not exactly promising with regards to your skill Ironically enough, if something as simple as a kiss really can trigger an orgasm, there's no need to train yourself as some form of sexual octopus.

Nothing works every time, nor does anything fail every time. If she knows what she wants, that's perfect.

The women who preferred that I go after the clit every time have been in the minority.

 

[8rangMan]

No touching at all

No touching at all (well, lots of generally pleasurable squirming in my seat, but not direct stimulation. My my. I want to have that night again!

Not a woman here, but .... I too once, just once had an orgasm without touching my penis. That was something.. probably won't ever happen again.

 

[wicked woman]

I think this issue is generally contentious because many women feel under enough pressure to orgasm during sex as it is before a guy starts telling her that one kind is actually a bit tame, and she should be going for something different and more exciting. Yes, there are other kinds of orgasms besides clitoral but really, that in itself is the holy grail.

Also, if you ask her how it feels and she says "I don't know," that's not exactly promising with regards to your skill Ironically enough, if something as simple as a kiss really can trigger an orgasm, there's no need to train yourself as some form of sexual octopus.

All you have to do is listen to the variety of women on Lit who comment about how difficult it is for them to have an orgasm...either at all or without clit stimulation. It's my perception that most threads that discuss female orgasm have a perponderance of women that are not overly orgasmic...including this one...so much so, that being easily and multi-orgasmic, I usually refrain from posting about my personal experience. Because I'm in the minority, I'm afraid to appear that I'm boasting or trying to make others, who aren't as fortunate as I am, feel bad, when in fact the only reason I'd comment would be to give another perspective of someone else's experience. In fact I wasn't going to post here, until a friend who knows my situation, commented on this thread that he was surprised that no one had commented that yes in fact it was completely possible to orgasm without clit stimulation. In an attempt to balance the responses, I posted.

So yes I agree that this issue is contentious. So contentious that as far as I see it, the issue is biased in its discussions. Not only in the scarcity of women who post that have a different experience/perspective (and since we know all women aren't alike, surely there have to be other experiences than the ones usually shared) but also in the reaction to people who try to see it in another light...perhaps because their experiences differ. I would suggest that most people's experiences are valuable to a discussion on such a topic.

Sorry but this sounds like a guy that's just trying to sexually please his woman; who realizes the mind is the most important sexual organ; that variety is fun...looking for other options to try and instead of encouraging him, we're knocking him. I just don't get it. Maybe because I have a sexual partner who thinks like him...and I'm very glad that I do.

 

[satindesire]

Not necessarily WW.

I am very orgasmic and capable of both clitoral and g-spot orgasms. I reach orgasm quickly, easily and regularly both in masturbating and with my husband. My husband understands my body and what I like and we have a wonderful sex life, he's very adventurous, understanding, communicative and creative.

I believe that yes, every woman's views on this kind of situation IS valuable, but with the heavy prevalence of women who have a hard time reaching orgasm even with clitoral stimulation, we should temper our posts to make sure we're not sending a message that the women who cannot reach orgasm as easily as women such as ourselves are somehow inadequate, "Broken" or inferior.

There is a LOT of pressure from every direction for a woman to be orgasmic. And threads like this, unfortunately, only ADD to that pressure.

 

[wicked woman]

Not necessarily WW.

I am very orgasmic and capable of both clitoral and g-spot orgasms. I reach orgasm quickly, easily and regularly both in masturbating and with my husband. My husband understands my body and what I like and we have a wonderful sex life, he's very adventurous, understanding, communicative and creative.

I believe that yes, every woman's views on this kind of situation IS valuable, but with the heavy prevalence of women who have a hard time reaching orgasm even with clitoral stimulation, we should temper our posts to make sure we're not sending a message that the women who cannot reach orgasm as easily as women such as ourselves are somehow inadequate, "Broken" or inferior.

There is a LOT of pressure from every direction for a woman to be orgasmic. And threads like this, unfortunately, only ADD to that pressure.

I'm not going to argue with you. You've made your point very clear. We're going to have to agree to disagree. It's my opinion that the threads that discuss a woman's orgasm give an unbalanced perspective possibly because of this attitude.

 

[satindesire]

I'm not going to argue with you. You've made your point very clear. We're going to have to agree to disagree. It's my opinion that the threads that discuss a woman's orgasm give an unbalanced perspective possibly because of this attitude.

I do not see the logic in disagreeing that we should take into consideration the feelings of the readers who may be having difficulty reaching orgasm "normally"....

But hey, whatever floats YOUR boat.

ETA: You do realize that I just AGREED with you, right? In the post I made before this one? I don't know if you misread me or...what...but I think we have some serious miscommunication going here.