Sex & Shenanigans

“Please prepare yourself”?! Yikes! One of my previous jobs included helping customers with wording for holiday cards, stationary and social invitations. The more formal invitations requested “the pleasure of your company,” or, if held at a house of worship, “the honor of your presence.” The more casual ones had something like “cordially invited,” but “prepare yourself”?!? Kids these days! 🤦🏻‍♀️
Could go even more formal,

"Make yourself ready."
 
“Please prepare yourself”?! Yikes! One of my previous jobs included helping customers with wording for holiday cards, stationary and social invitations. The more formal invitations requested “the pleasure of your company,” or, if held at a house of worship, “the honor of your presence.” The more casual ones had something like “cordially invited,” but “prepare yourself”?!? Kids these days! 🤦🏻‍♀️
"The pleasure of your company" seems quite pleasant and appropriate.
 
Two weasels drinking together in a pub.
Old weasel slaps the younger weasel's back and loudly slurs, "hey lad, I shagged your mum good!"
Young weasel grits his teeth but ignores the offense
Undeterred, the older belches and loudly proclaims, "did you hear me?!?! I shagged your mum hard. The harder I went, the louder she screamed my name!!"
The crowd held their breath as the younger weasel slammed his beer down and bristled.
"Go home dad, you're drunk!"
 
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