Sex

[she_is_my_addiction]

This is a compelling statement, Earl. Hope you don't mind if I use it a little to share something.

I've been in love with the same man since we were both 15 years old. We were high school sweethearts, together for over two years, engaged, etc. We're not together now, but we're completely head over heels in love and have been for 16 years (it's a long and complicated story, and not the point).

I lost my virginity at 16 in a non-voluntary kind of a way. A guy from work offered to drive me home and then raped me in his car. Obviously, because it was "real" rape, it was a horrible experience, one that will still occassionally jump up and scare the fuck out of me with no warning.

About 6 months after the rape, I decided to sleep with my boyfriend, the guy I'm still in love with. Initially, the sex was gentle, he was quite kind. I was not orgasmic until I was older (like close to 20), but I still loved sex with him and we did it as much as possible. After we'd been having sex for a few months, we both started getting a little more rough. Some clawing of the back, some biting. It grew and grew. By the time we broke up we were sometimes downright violent together. I remember once when he accidentally bit my lower lip open in the heat of the moment, as well as a nasty infection he acquired in one of the open scratch marks down his spine.

After we broke up, I went on to have more "normal" sex with my other partners, and got married to man who I would have never dreamed of biting or scratching. As I said, I did eventually start having orgasms. They were great, and for the most part I believed I had a fulfilling sex life.

And then about a year ago, I got drunk and ended up back in bed with my high school boyfriend. It was just like high school. As soon as his mouth closed on mine, I was that girl again... the biting, scratching girl who liked it rough. I absolutely loved it when he slammed me into the wall, or held my hands above my head so I couldn't move. It was by far the most intense and satisfying sex I've ever had. And there was lots and lots of it.

Now, here's where it relates to your post, Earl. In the moment, he and I fuel each other, and it burns hot. We can both get absolutely lost in it. But then, he has this horrible guilt afterwards because he lost control and became primal. He believes that any woman you bring to your bed should be treated like a queen.

We've talked and talked about it. I've tried to assure him that I want it just like that, but it still tears him up. I've only told him one thing that makes him feel even a little better about it. When I've driven him so comletely crazy that he must react by pushing me into the wall and having his way with me, it gives me the most delicious feeling of being both powerLESS and powerFUL. I can't stop what's going to happen (of course I could, but it doesn't seem like it) and I'm going to be filled repeatedly by this man who I adore. At the same, he's gone mad because of me, because he wants me that much that he just doesn't stay in his right mind.

He seems to feel like you do, worried about the hole that has opened in him. Interesting too, neither of us "played" that way with any other partner in the 14 years we were apart. Only with each other.

Thanks for letting me share this. Hope it wasn't too much of a thread hi-jack.

Not at all a hi-jack. This thread is about anything and everything sexual. Articles, experiences, questions, ideas. T

Thank you for sharing. I have similar feelings.

 

[logophile]

Thank you for sharing. I have similar feelings.

Care to show me yours? I showed you mine...


No, honestly, I find this a fascinating topic of discussion. Would love to hear more about it!

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

Care to show me yours? I showed you mine...


No, honestly, I find this a fascinating topic of discussion. Would love to hear more about it!

I will. I'll share my worries and experiences. But not at this moment. I'm trying to finish the buying for my nieces and nephews while posting a bit too.

 

[logophile]

I will. I'll share my worries and experiences. But not at this moment. I'm trying to finish the buying for my nieces and nephews while posting a bit too.

OK, I'll be patient! Just try not to forget...

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

OK, I'll be patient! Just try not to forget...

Hm...I've been through (real) rape before. When I was 14, I was in Mexico, and I got drunk one night and fell asleep, and he did the deed. He was 19. I never reported it. A month or so after I returned, I read about another girl who was raped in the same town of Merida. When she reported it, the police blamed her, etc. That sort of thing. I was pregnant, miscarried eventually, and tried never to think about it again. I had emotionally attached myself to the child and it was terrible when I lost it, but life goes on.

Ever since, I've been wary of men, not sexually interested in them, and a little scared and creeped out. Probably I should have been in therapy and whatnot, but I never told my parents or any mental health professional about the incident. Accident, as it were.

(Probably) Because of what I went through, in some way the idea of rape spilled through to my sexual life now, with women. I like older women, I like them to dominate through and through and yes, being forced or manipulated is part of it. I like it. I can't explain it but it turns me on to no end when I find a willing woman like that.

There's much more storyline here, but I'll let y'all take this in first.

 

[doormouse]

Hm...I've been through (real) rape before. When I was 14, I was in Mexico, and I got drunk one night and fell asleep, and he did the deed. He was 19. I never reported it. A month or so after I returned, I read about another girl who was raped in the same town of Merida. When she reported it, the police blamed her, etc. That sort of thing. I was pregnant, miscarried eventually, and tried never to think about it again. I had emotionally attached myself to the child and it was terrible when I lost it, but life goes on.

Ever since, I've been wary of men, not sexually interested in them, and a little scared and creeped out. Probably I should have been in therapy and whatnot, but I never told my parents or any mental health professional about the incident. Accident, as it were.

(Probably) Because of what I went through, in some way the idea of rape spilled through to my sexual life now, with women. I like older women, I like them to dominate through and through and yes, being forced or manipulated is part of it. I like it. I can't explain it but it turns me on to no end when I find a willing woman like that.

There's much more storyline here, but I'll let y'all take this in first.

{{{hugs}}}

Been there sis. It helps to talk, trust me.

 

[logophile]

That's all very interesting. I'm sexually interested in both men and women. Well, as a whole I'm sexually interested in women. However, there are some specific males I sleep with/have slept with. I don't rule men out as a gender, but I'm definitely more interested in women.

I've always wondered what effect the rape had on my sexuality as a whole. I'm certain that it's the reason I was inorgasmic until much later, even though I was sexually active. I was really detached from my body though, and that was true even before the rape. I remember when I was 15 a male friend of mine took me for a ride on his motorcycle. When I got back a female friend asked me what I thought of the "vibrations" through the seat. I didn't even know what she was talking about. I didn't masturbate at all until I was almost 20 as well, and then I only started doing it because I read that it might turn my boyfriend on to watch me.

The roughness of the sex with my highschool sweetheart is an isolated thing, but it's the thing that sings to my heart. I can't imagine playing like that with anyone else. But I also don't trust anyone else like that either, so that's probably a huge factor.

Once I'm in bed with someone, I tend to be submissive. I like to please. I like to know I'm doing something well and I spend a lot of time learning my partner so I can bring the most pleasure possible. I enjoy being told what to do (although I don't like humiliation at all). I like the sound of the words and I especially like it if there's just a little urgency in the voice. That's the stuff that really drives me over the edge... Hmmm, maybe I should take little alone time...

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

I also have a "mommy" complex, something that's hard for some people to grasp. I never got the kind of affection and behavior from my mother that my friends did, and it left me a bit empty. As a result, now, I have quite a mommy complex, especially during sex. I've even gone so far as to call the other person mommy...and that's gone over quite well, I might add. It all depends on the amount of kink you like. I like lots and lots of kink. I'm completely submissive...it's been embedded in me.

 

[Belegon]

I've been asked to play the part of the rapist in filling out fantasies, but I have only followed through once. The experience was interesting, but it was my only time with the person and I am sure that much of that had to do with how uncomfortable I was in the role. The whole situation was quite strange.

I could only play this out again with someone I trusted greatly, and even then I would have to have certain, well, precautions. Like a "safe" word or phrase that she could use to halt things. A certain knowledge that nothing I did was going to be misinterpreted. Even then, I could only do it not only for someone I tusted but someone I loved.

 

[logophile]

I also have a "mommy" complex, something that's hard for some people to grasp. I never got the kind of affection and behavior from my mother that my friends did, and it left me a bit empty. As a result, now, I have quite a mommy complex, especially during sex. I've even gone so far as to call the other person mommy...and that's gone over quite well, I might add. It all depends on the amount of kink you like. I like lots and lots of kink. I'm completely submissive...it's been embedded in me.

I didn't get the typical affection, etc from my mom either. But I think that has actually turned me into a mother. My friends all joke that I'm the eternal mother, the one to turn to in the face of anything. I'm a huge care-taker and that's kind of what happens sexually for me as well. Maybe more than being submissive, I just want to take care of my partner. No, on second thought, I am submissive as well.

I need to think about this more....

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

I didn't get the typical affection, etc from my mom either. But I think that has actually turned me into a mother. My friends all joke that I'm the eternal mother, the one to turn to in the face of anything. I'm a huge care-taker and that's kind of what happens sexually for me as well. Maybe more than being submissive, I just want to take care of my partner. No, on second thought, I am submissive as well.

I need to think about this more....

This thread could get really deep. Who-da thunk it, huh?

 

[logophile]

This thread could get really deep. Who-da thunk it, huh?

Well, there's plenty of other stuff I like/want/fantasize about that I'd be happy to share. It would probably lighten the mood.

Here's one... I'm not at all sure why, but I really love wearing clothing that's very tight in the ribs, making it hard to breathe. Always have. When I went to a Ren Faire this summer, I finally allowed myself to try on a set of garb. Oh, that corset felt so good when it was all cinched up so that I couldn't quite draw a full breath. I wanted to take it home and wear it all the time. It is so seductive to me...

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

Hm....

I think I like the idea of being fingered to orgasm in a crowded place...(read: restaurant)...but having to remember to keep quiet or risk punishment later.

*drool*

 

[logophile]

I didn't get the typical affection, etc from my mom either. But I think that has actually turned me into a mother. My friends all joke that I'm the eternal mother, the one to turn to in the face of anything. I'm a huge care-taker and that's kind of what happens sexually for me as well. Maybe more than being submissive, I just want to take care of my partner. No, on second thought, I am submissive as well.

I need to think about this more....

OK, I thought about it a lot last night and this morning...

I definitely play the role of caretaker sexually as well. Back in June I was part of this amazing ongoing threesome. It was me, a beautiful man (most beautiful peice of male flesh I've ever seen, actually) and a beautiful and much younger woman having her first bi experience.

The whole thing lasted about 6 weeks and it was a fabulous ride. But throughout the relationship, I was always making sure everyone's needs got met. Emotionally, yes, but also sexually. So during the act, I would be watching them. If he looked left out, I offered him my mouth. If she looked hungry for an orgasm, I would make she got it. If anyone looked thirsty, I was up for a glass for water. Too hot? I opened the window. Sleepy? Time for a break. There were lots of times when we would be done having sex and someone would realize that I hadn't even had an orgasm. And for the most part that was OK.

This tends to be me sexually. Giving pleasure, taking so much from knowing I've helped provide a mind-blowing orgasm.

This is why light bondage appeals to me so much. Once I'm bound, I can no longer be the active caretaker. I must just recieve and do as asked. My brain can shut down and my body can accept whatever's coming next.

OK, enough introspection for now. Thanks for reading along if you got this far.

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

*BUMP*

C'mon people.....

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

Everyone's got a bit of introspection as to why they enjoy the things they enjoy in bed. Why do you feel you've come to enjoy your fetishes?

(Logophile and I have already done ours...)

 

[Amy Sweet]

Fantasies, toys, positions, roleplay, fetishes, tops/bottoms, dommes/subs, black/white, etc.

What do you love, what are your favorite fantasies? What are the fantasies you'd never spill in RL, how much do you love sex, what kind of toys do you own, what kind of recommendations can you make or what advice can you give?

This is an all out sex thread.

No censors.

Sex?- I'm not sure that is a proper topic for a place like this.

 

[logophile]

I've been asked to play the part of the rapist in filling out fantasies, but I have only followed through once. The experience was interesting, but it was my only time with the person and I am sure that much of that had to do with how uncomfortable I was in the role. The whole situation was quite strange.

I could only play this out again with someone I trusted greatly, and even then I would have to have certain, well, precautions. Like a "safe" word or phrase that she could use to halt things. A certain knowledge that nothing I did was going to be misinterpreted. Even then, I could only do it not only for someone I tusted but someone I loved.

Can I ask you men about this? I'm using Belegon's post, but I think any of you three that have posted about it can answer.

How does it come up? How are you asked? And if you're doing this for someone you don't know, or don't know well, how does it happen at all?

On a deeper level, if it made you all uncomfortable, why would you do it again at all? And how would it be better if it were someone you loved and trusted?

This whole topic has me so curious. I really want to know more. Thanks so much!

 

[English Lady]

The rape fantasy posts here fascinate me too (and get me hot in some cases)

Alot of my fantasies are around reluctance and rape fantasies. Being taken by a stranger form behind and never even seeing his face or being "forced" into sex seems to be very attractive to me.

Why? not a clue. My husband who is the only guy i have ever had sex with is mostly submissive but he can be dominant on occassions -I love it when he is. Maybe it is just because it happens so rarely for me that it has become a fantasy for me.

I love rough sex and my fantasies are very often rough and involving biting and scratching and being held down. I like to imagine being the one held down and sometimes being the one in control.

I love the idea of using a strap on on a bloke, i like the idea of being the one in charge.


You see my fantasies are so varied. I love so much and fantasize about so many different things.

Spanking. Now there is a constant. My favourite fantasy involves me in a school uniform being sent to the headmaster to be punished.

There are so many I am sure i could fill this thread with my ramblings!

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

Originally posted by logophile
Can I ask you men about this? I'm using Belegon's post, but I think any of you three that have posted about it can answer.

How does it come up? How are you asked? And if you're doing this for someone you don't know, or don't know well, how does it happen at all?

On a deeper level, if it made you all uncomfortable, why would you do it again at all? And how would it be better if it were someone you loved and trusted?

This whole topic has me so curious. I really want to know more. Thanks so much!

\

Being open about fantasies with each other, getting closer and closer and then "What's your darkest fantasy?" comes up. And it comes out. The components of the rape fantasy get talked about: the control, the roughness, bits and pieces. Eventually, a vague "maybe we should try it" comes up.

Come back to enough times, its agreed. In my case, it was left up to me to figure out how. To make it real. An unexpected time, an unexpected place, no script, nothing like that. No lead in, no preface. I don't think I would do it for someone I didn't know very well. After the fact, yes... in all honesty, I could have been charged with rape. Everything was real enough to make the defense of "it was just a game" very hard.

I can't say it made me uncomfortable. I enjoyed it a lot. Moreso than I enjoy other, more conventionally sexual things. I love my girl, I trust her. That was necessary. For safety issues, if nothing else.

It takes a huge divorce of norms to do it. Huge. To do it "right" anyway. I imagine anyone can play the fantasy, but limitedly.

I physically abused her. Without warning or permission or concern. It was a party, I thought it'd be the perfect time. People around in the other rooms--makes muffling the screams mean something, rather than it being private and meaningless. Isolation. Backhand, face to the carpet, knee across back of neck, tear down most of the clothes, work myself into arousal and whisper terms and causing enough pain that she could test the limitation of her ability to refuse. The excuse of pain sufficient that she could scream as loud as she could, but with a knee over her throat that isn't very loud.

Panic.

Then onto the sex.

It was....

...there's not a lot of words to describe it. It was different. In some sense it was hot. I couldn't deny that I was physically, very aroused by the whole thing but I couldn't tell if that was because of the chance of getting caught heightening my senses and adrenaline rushing. Forcibly taking what I wanted, no "lube" no "warmup" just all my pleasure... that was kinda hot. I can't deny that either.

On some level, seeing the extent of my personal power (I'm 6'6", 230, I box) over her (5'5", 120... if that). That was arousing.

Was hurting her arousing? To some extent, yes.

Very, very, very deep and complicated subject.

 

[English Lady]

Joe -Wow. Just wow.

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

Joe -Wow. Just wow.

Ditto

 

[doormouse]

Re: Re: Sex

Sex?- I'm not sure that is a proper topic for a place like this.

LOL

(they're shameless hussies, aren't they!!)

My fantasty/favourite position is me on my side, him behind me with his arm under and around my waist, with his finger on my clit. With his other hand, he is fingering me from behind.

Endless orgasms

 

[logophile]

\

Was hurting her arousing? To some extent, yes.

Very, very, very deep and complicated subject.

Clearly a complicated subject. Can I ask one more question? After it was over, was it what she wanted? Did it satisfy her hunger? Does she want to do it again?

OK, that was three more questions... Sorry about that!

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

You learn a lot about yourself in situations like that.

I mean, I was a mispent-youth kinda kid. I got into a lot of trouble. Real trouble, not "staying out after curfew" kind of trouble. I've been arrested before. Been in some violent situations before.

For a long time I was in love with the idea of exploring how far I could take it. What wouldn't I do? Where are my personal limits?

I never found them. It scared me a little.

Like, I even developed a pet peeve about people who talk flippantly and jokingly about being "evil" or "dark".

That night was sort of a sexual thing, for both of us sure, and sort of another chance to see "What can I do?"