LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Smart-alec Answers

You're laughable

The other POS imitation bombed, and now yet another.

Congrats Furious Typer.
 
Martha vs. Maxine (from Willie K)

*Martha's Way*

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

*Maxine's Way *

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Celery? Never heard of it!

Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Leftover wine?

HELLO!?!?!

Thanks Kara
 
The problem with the education system in America (this has nothing to do with BDSM)

That's a pretty broad claim. Personally, I think BDSM explains a great deal about the educational system in America. After all, all of those naughty school-boy and school-girl fantasies need some sort of explanation, do they not?
 
FungiUg said:
Personally, I think BDSM explains a great deal about the educational system in America.
Click to expand...
Welcome back Gumby.

You need to catch us up on the life of perv down under.
 
AngelicAssassin said:
Welcome back Gumby.

You need to catch us up on the life of perv down under.
Click to expand...


It's all about flower arranging...

Not a lot to catch up on, 'fraid to say.
 
Whats in your box?

i've been dying to say this for sooooo long.

If you're lucky, female, and hetero, hopefully a cock.
 
Prince Albert

Urban legend has it that some guy on a gay helpline, when told by the caller that his partner wanted him to get a Prince Albert, replied with something like "well, they are lovely little dogs."
 
How do you know you're into BDSM?

Oh i don't know, maybe the rainbow colored bruises might give it away.
 
Where do I shop online for canes, nipple clamps, gags, collars, etc?

i already know what my next exhaustive listing task will be. Iteration of every damn e-kink link under the main headers in the library. i understand taking the five minutes to look there might not satisfy in the same manner as posting, but God forbid someone actually look in the damn sticky for an obvious answer. What's next? Another fucking question post about shaving?
 
God Forbid we add to any of the various humor threads already present

SWEARING AT WORK

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f*** you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting b**ch.

3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f****** way.

5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh**ing me!

6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh**.

7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f****** problem.

8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f***?

9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh** won't work.

10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the h*** didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a**.

12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh** and die.

13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a**.

14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F*** it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a**.

16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the h*** died and made you boss?

18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a pr*ck.

Thank You,
Management
 
My perception of BDSM this past year concerning a triage.

Every time I see that title, I want to offer my nursing services to someone.
 
A Desert Rose said:
My perception of BDSM this past year concerning a triage.

Every time I see that title, I want to offer my nursing services to someone.
Click to expand...

LOL That's the first thing I thought of when I saw 'triage', too. I thought I was just being a dork, though. Glad to know I wasn't the only one who saw that.
 
A Desert Rose said:
My perception of BDSM this past year concerning a triage.

Every time I see that title, I want to offer my nursing services to someone.
Click to expand...

But do you travel? We could use you down here! :rolleyes:
 
sub ladies, feedback please . . .

NO I REFUSE AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME
 
Last edited:
sub ladies feedback please

Somehow I get this mental image of a high-powered stereo system gone wrong... and since when did speakers have gender?
 
Can Sex ever bet "mature"?

i don't know.

Run it by a grandmother that teaches third grade English and let us know what she thinks.
 
Nice job Mastersliltroll..

and I mean that sincerely. If you absolutely must troll the forum, at least you do it in a creative manner. I must say, the quality of the trolls from the troll of the month club has improved lately.
 
Lessons in Flirting

Sweet Jesus ... where is Teena Marie when she's needed most?

I walked into the room, a hush fell on the whole place
Drop dead fine just a diva with a purpose
I slide to the right, everybody follows suit
Serious times such a sexy situation​
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

dreamysub
Aging With Pride – Perimenopause Edition
Replies
3
Views
238
Tallcajun
Tallcajun
TheIntrepidBoyager
It's Not Always Dildos and Roses...
Replies
5
Views
711
Samantha47
S
BehindTheEyes
About public perversion
2 3
Replies
69
Views
2K
Samantha47
S
Desirae_Nicole
30 days of passion and revenge part 4
Replies
2
Views
1K
Sass84
Sass84
MagicFlute
BDSM song
Replies
0
Views
520
MagicFlute
MagicFlute
Back
Top