So......................... I'm straight-curious

[Honey123]

i dont have so many male friends and none i'd want to fuck.

i think thats part of my issue

Well, if you are getting turned on by someone on Lit...make sure you and he are on the same page.

Do I think a threesome is a good start...welll.....you want to try a man, so why have a female there? I mean. You would ultimately be turned on by the female (I am assuming you would bring a female you are attracted to..just in case) ~ but then you are not getting the "vibe" for the guy.

Now, if you do the guy and it's just ok and wouldn't mind doing it again, then have a threesome.

Meet the guy first...have coffee, tea...whatever...but find out if you are even attracted to him sexually. You may think he is funny, cute but there is no connection there. If there is no connection, there won't be one in bed.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

im not related to your snake nor do i find him attractive in any way

boy that sounds sexy

I was thinking more of a sister to the iguana.

 

[Guest]

Let me be the first to volunteer to step up to the plate along with Honey. Yeah, Honey and Fem. I can find time in my calendar for that!

 

[3113]

In the Best of all Possible Worlds...?

i dont have so many male friends and none i'd want to fuck.

Which brings us right back to that question. Okay. Ignoring the dick part...are there any guys in movies, television, whatever, that make you sigh and say, "I'd fuck him!"

There's a reason I keep asking--it's to make you think about how curious you really are about this. I'm hetero. And I can tell you that I am not the least bit curious about having sex with a woman. I could just as easily say what you just said, "I don't have a lot of female friends and none I'd want to fuck."

But the REAL question is, are there any women out there I would want to fuck if I could have ANYONE. From Marilyn Monroe to Angelina Jolie to the entire cast of the "L" word.

And the answer is...um...no. Which pretty much proves that I've got zip bi-curiosity...much to my husband's sorrow.

Time to stop dodging the bullet. If you could fuck any guy at all, who would you fuck? Assume that all worries and fears are taken care of and you will feel totally safe with him. In the best of all possible worlds...is there any man you would take for a test drive?

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Well, if you are getting turned on by someone on Lit...make sure you and he are on the same page.

Do I think a threesome is a good start...welll.....you want to try a man, so why have a female there? I mean. You would ultimately be turned on by the female (I am assuming you would bring a female you are attracted to..just in case) ~ but then you are not getting the "vibe" for the guy.

Now, if you do the guy and it's just ok and wouldn't mind doing it again, then have a threesome.

Meet the guy first...have coffee, tea...whatever...but find out if you are even attracted to him sexually. You may think he is funny, cute but there is no connection there. If there is no connection, there won't be one in bed.

Excellent points. Threesomes are nice, but probably not best for the first time. And, yeah, there should be some sexual chemistry for one reason or another, or a chemistry of some sort (since presumably it would be tough for a lesbian to have sexual chemistry with a man).

 

[3113]

IF you are still curious and looking for a guy to explore with, may I suggest the often overlooked "nice guy"

This may sound like a good idea, Sal, but I have to disagree. The problem isn't that the nice guy wouldn't do it right...it's that he'd get his heart broken. Nice guys can really become attatched, hope for more, etc.

He'll do all the work, try his darnest, enjoy it certainly...and then find that, yes, she really did mean it when she said it was just curiosity and nothing more. And how painful will it be for him to hear, yet again, "I just want to be friends"?

All any guy is likely to get out of this is one fuck and yet another, good female friend and I really don't think the nice guy deserves that.

Granted, she should not go with a "bad boy" they're useless in this case. What she needs is the guy who's an "honorary" lesbian. There are hetero guys who enjoy the company of lesbians just like there are hetero girls (the ubiqutious fag hags) who enjoy the company of gay men. A friend of a lesbian friend is the best way for her to go. He'll have an understanding of lesbians and what this is all about, enough so that he'll enjoy the lark for the "lark" that it is. Like Boota, he will take it as doing someone a fun favor, no harm, no foul, no expectations.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

thankzzzz handsome

You're welcum. Whatever you choose to do, I want you to have the best possible experience.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

This may sound like a good idea, Sal, but I have to disagree. The problem isn't that the nice guy wouldn't do it right...it's that he'd get his heart broken. Nice guys can really become attatched, hope for more, etc.

What she needs is the guy who's an "honorary" lesbian. .. he will take it as doing someone a fun favor, no harm, no foul, no expectations.

I think you nailed it right on the head.

 

[Trombonus]

IF you are still curious and looking for a guy to explore with, may I suggest the often overlooked "nice guy".

Oh so many straight women are completely missing out because they want the bad boy or some element of danger that will and always does hurt them in the end. IF it is about sex, for you, you want a nice guy. He'll listen to your concerns, adjust the situation to help you either ease in or jump head long. He'll make sure your needs are met rather than just fulfilling his own scorecard of "hey dudes I banged a lesbo!".

However, be careful to get one well versed in sensuality and sexuality, not a shy retiring inexperienced wall flower. He may be nice but he will turn you off men forever with is fear and hesitation.

To find a good one, go to a larger book store, and linger around the erotic books area and watch the guys and what teh pick up. If they see you and turn away, write them off. If they see you and leer because girls in the idrty books section must be sluts, write them off. If they smile, smile back. After a few moments go over and ask a question, preferrably one that is about whatever they are perusing. IF he is open and mildly forthcoming about what he is looking for, touch his shoulder look him square in the eye and say "This may sound far fetched but... I am exploring my sexuality and you seem like a wonderful person to explore with. Would you like to join me over a cup of coffee and talk about it?"

You may not get teh most amazing sex of your life, but I promise it will be more emotioanlly and intellectually stimulating then a random romp with some football crazed hooligan or cro-magnon macho chest thumping gorilla.

Nice to see that someone's thinking about us nice guys.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Nice to see that someone's thinking about us nice guys.

Yeah. bitchof it though that its a ncie guy doing the thinking...... though I am working on that honorary lesbian degree now. I think I have to pass oral exams with vella, lucky, abs and vana to get the title though.

 

[Trombonus]

This may sound like a good idea, Sal, but I have to disagree. The problem isn't that the nice guy wouldn't do it right...it's that he'd get his heart broken. Nice guys can really become attatched, hope for more, etc.

He'll do all the work, try his darnest, enjoy it certainly...and then find that, yes, she really did mean it when she said it was just curiosity and nothing more. And how painful will it be for him to hear, yet again, "I just want to be friends"?

All any guy is likely to get out of this is one fuck and yet another, good female friend and I really don't think the nice guy deserves that.

Granted, she should not go with a "bad boy" they're useless in this case. What she needs is the guy who's an "honorary" lesbian. There are hetero guys who enjoy the company of lesbians just like there are hetero girls (the ubiqutious fag hags) who enjoy the company of gay men. A friend of a lesbian friend is the best way for her to go. He'll have an understanding of lesbians and what this is all about, enough so that he'll enjoy the lark for the "lark" that it is. Like Boota, he will take it as doing someone a fun favor, no harm, no foul, no expectations.

Speaking from the standpoint of the perpetual nice guy, I'm not sure how to interpret this generalization of our small and often overlooked/disregarded breed. I think we'd surprise you. I think you also have to take into account what Fem wants too. Does she want comfort, someone to cater to her every need and make her feel like she's being taken care of? Or does she want to just do it and get it over with? However, that being said I have to give this to you, I agree with the "honorary" lesbian concept. But, I think you'll find that more often than not these are the "nice guys." Sure we nice guys may get attached easily, but I think most of us would be smart enough to realize that we're not going to change how fem feels, and wont expect anything more. Perhaps a closer friendship yeah, but not anything like a relationship or love, being the most extreme. Give us some credit.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Yeah. bitchof it though that its a ncie guy doing the thinking...... though I am working on that honorary lesbian degree now. I think I have to pass oral exams with vella, lucky, abs and vana to get the title though.

There are worse ways to do it.....

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

There are worse ways to do it.....

I am not, repeat NOT! dresing up like Dolly Parton and singing "I will always love you" to a group of drunken sailors! Not again!

 

[Anniejustagirl]

Well, if you are getting turned on by someone on Lit...make sure you and he are on the same page.

Do I think a threesome is a good start...welll.....you want to try a man, so why have a female there? I mean. You would ultimately be turned on by the female (I am assuming you would bring a female you are attracted to..just in case) ~ but then you are not getting the "vibe" for the guy.

Now, if you do the guy and it's just ok and wouldn't mind doing it again, then have a threesome.

Meet the guy first...have coffee, tea...whatever...but find out if you are even attracted to him sexually. You may think he is funny, cute but there is no connection there. If there is no connection, there won't be one in bed.

i have to loudly echo some of Honey's points...

Knowing where the situation is going and may not go is important. Feelings may still get hurt, but if you are bluntly honest from the beginning, then i think... everything is good from there.

the net is a fabulous place for meeting up with someone that you get a braingasm from, but you MUST meet them face to face prior to getting it on. Some people are Totally different in person than when they are using their fingers and have a monitor for protection. Just because you click online doesn't mean that it will happen when you meet in r/l..

I'm actually speaking from experience. Ah yes... sad to say (maybe) that i was so lonely that i contemplated going back to the other side... dare i say the dark side?! *eg* It's also possible that my motivation was to blame! I found someone that i connected with online. Great chats... slow and easy beginning... nice flirtation and then things got downright sexy. Decided to meet and see if any sparks flew. They did not. He was NOT the same in person. Overly shy... getting him to talk was like pulling teeth and i Had to be able to talk about this. If you can just jump in the sack... maybe things would be different for you, but i had to have the brain stimulus face to face too! At this point... i just decided that i was too gay and not enough bi anymore and gave up the ghost. When i got attracted to another guy.. it scared the bejesus outta me! Personally... i'm sticking with girls, but that's just me.

I think a threesome for the first time is dangerous ground. People tend to go with what they know and i have a feeling that you would do the same, fem. 3113 has an excellent point as well. Who Would You Do?!?! I think it's a vital question and if you can't answer it... maybe it's more of a brain curiousity that should never truly see the light of day. Lord knows that i'd hate to see you end up getting hurt over this.

Much luck, Sweets!

 

[bashfull]

Wow. This is an interesting thread...and different to boot. Lots of excellent and well meaning advice. Shows what the mind trust of Lit can accomplish when called upon to help a friend.

Anyhow, just wanted to stop in and give ya' my support, darlin'.



Bash

 

[3113]

I think you'll find that more often than not these are the "nice guys."

Granted, but the trick is a nice guy who knows his lesbians. My objection was that picking out just any nice guy could easily lead to heartbreak for the nice guy who might not WANT to believe her when she says it's just for the sake of curiosity.

It has nothing to do with smarts and everything to do with needs, desires and hopes. You can be the smartest most aware nice guy in the world...and still get hurt when that girl says, "That was fun, thanks. I'm back to the other side now." Because somewhere deep in your heart you were hoping....just hoping.

Better she go for a guy who knows first-hand what he's in for rather than a guy who will accept it but may still be hurt by it.

Understand: This isn't a matter of letting anyone play hero--I know nice guys are the heroes and can play that role better than anyone. And I'd NEVER take that from them. Believe me. If Fem was about to die a virgin and wanted one beautiful night with a man before that happened--hey! I'd vote for the nice guys hands down.

But that's not the situation. For a non-honorary-lesbian nice guy, this could be machoism because he's going to have to chance having feelings for her, yet he'll know, pretty much for certain, that aren't going to be returned. And he'll be doing this to sate her curiosity. That doesn't sound nice for the nice guy...and it's not a burden that ought to be put on her, either.

 

[Trombonus]

Granted, but the trick is a nice guy who knows his lesbians. My objection was that picking out just any nice guy could easily lead to heartbreak for the nice guy who might not WANT to believe her when she says it's just for the sake of curiosity.

It has nothing to do with smarts and everything to do with needs, desires and hopes. You can be the smartest most aware nice guy in the world...and still get hurt when that girl says, "That was fun, thanks. I'm back to the other side now." Because somewhere deep in your heart you were hoping....just hoping.

Better she go for a guy who knows first-hand what he's in for rather than a guy who will accept it but may still be hurt by it.

Understand: This isn't a matter of letting anyone play hero--I know nice guys are the heroes and can play that role better than anyone. And I'd NEVER take that from them. Believe me. If Fem was about to die a virgin and wanted one beautiful night with a man before that happened--hey! I'd vote for the nice guys hands down.

But that's not the situation. For a non-honorary-lesbian nice guy, this could be machoism because he's going to have to chance having feelings for her, yet he'll know, pretty much for certain, that aren't going to be returned. And he'll be doing this to sate her curiosity. That doesn't sound nice for the nice guy...and it's not a burden that ought to be put on her, either.

Ok, I think I understand your point a bit better.

 

[kendo1]

So.
When are you back in Auld Reekie?

 

[Guest]

So.
When are you back in Auld Reekie?

october

 

[Guest]

Wow. This is an interesting thread...and different to boot. Lots of excellent and well meaning advice. Shows what the mind trust of Lit can accomplish when called upon to help a friend.

Anyhow, just wanted to stop in and give ya' my support, darlin'.



Bash

 

[Guest]

I' 3113 has an excellent point as well. Who Would You Do?!?! I think it's a vital question and if you can't answer it... maybe it's more of a brain curiousity that should never truly see the light of day. Lord knows that i'd hate to see you end up getting hurt over this.

Much luck, Sweets!

thanks beautiful

who would I do .............................................. hmn gonna think bout that one

 

[Guest]

That does make it tougher.

Maybe instead of actively seeking someone now then, you just admit to yourself that you are open to the idea. Then as new men come into your life, you ask yourself "Could he be the one I try it with?".

I suspect there have been men in your life in the past that would have been acceptable, but you weren't yet in "that place" yet and so never thought of them so.

youve been readin my diaries havnt u?

 

[Guest]

Time to stop dodging the bullet. If you could fuck any guy at all, who would you fuck? Assume that all worries and fears are taken care of and you will feel totally safe with him. In the best of all possible worlds...is there any man you would take for a test drive?

thers one yes maybe two.

but that would complicate my life ENTIRELY. theres no way i could do it with him. ever.

we do have a new neighbour he's gorgeous

as far as famous people, http://www.fanmusical.net/juanes/imagenes/j46index.jpg

 

[Belegon]

...... though I am working on that honorary lesbian degree now. I think I have to pass oral exams with vella, lucky, abs and vana to get the title though.

you can't ask for it...it has to just happen. sure, you can be prepared. An extensive workout regimen is a good idea.

but it's not something that can be earned or purchased...it is given.

Fem...good luck baby. Not an easy subject at all.

Both people are going to need their heads in the right place. And life will surprise you anyway...

 

[Guest]

Fem...good luck baby.

can i pounce you?