So, who's on Fetlife?

[serijules]

it is a group called "Litsters UNITE!!!!!" open "Browse Newest" in the "Groups" tab and scroll down till you find it. There are several Discussions you can join of you can start a new one.

Thanks shank! my very first friend.

Is it just me or does it take FOREVER for friends to be added and pages to load on fetlife??

 

[kittenartist]

Thanks shank! my very first friend.

Is it just me or does it take FOREVER for friends to be added and pages to load on fetlife??

I have noticed that too. Makes me look at that donation option and wonder if it would be worthwhile just have to them upgrade their junk* to be faster.


*I had geekier words but I am not sure exactly what is making them be slow. Junk works

 

[Yang4yin]

I have noticed that too. Makes me look at that donation option and wonder if it would be worthwhile just have to them upgrade their junk* to be faster.


*I had geekier words but I am not sure exactly what is making them be slow. Junk works

FetLife was started by an individual who, as far as I know, is not rich. I'm not sure that upgrading the server is an option at this point.

 

[serijules]

Ok I'm adding people at I find ones I know....i will make a real profile soon. Feel free to friend me!

 

[kittenartist]

FetLife was started by an individual who, as far as I know, is not rich. I'm not sure that upgrading the server is an option at this point.

Which is why I am thinking donating might be a good option as the site seems to be gaining popularity. Basically, I was saying there may be a way to help correct the loading times.

 

[DVS]

Which is why I am thinking donating might be a good option as the site seems to be gaining popularity. Basically, I was saying there may be a way to help correct the loading times.

It's terribly slow for me, but I'm wondering if it is partly the Internet or a router in my area because Lit is unusually slow, too.

But, I can't handle the slowness tonight. I like things to happen when I click the mouse, not waiting almost long enough for me to go get a cup of coffee, before anything moves.

 

[kittenartist]

It's terribly slow for me, but I'm wondering if it is partly the Internet or a router in my area because Lit is unusually slow, too.

But, I can't handle the slowness tonight. I like things to happen when I click the mouse, not waiting almost long enough for me to go get a cup of coffee, before anything moves.

Ugh. Yeah. My connection keeps dropping in and out (bad ISP) which is frustrating. But when it is up it is very fast for most sites but FetLife is a bit slow. *shrugs* It happens.

 

[dakotagirl]

Fetlife is incredibly slow for me too. It is the only page so I really think it must be from their end.

 

[serijules]

And if any of you are on Live Journal... I'm actually starting to blog there. Decided to start culling my old mail lists for posts I made that I think are worth archiving and that show my thoughts and feelings and triumphs and failures over the years...

http://evil-geoff.livejournal.com/

I spend a lot of time on LJ, I friended you, but be aware that you will learn a lot more about me there than you ever would here, or would even want to know, as I use it as a regular journal not just a kink one (if you friend me back that is)

Anyhow, I don't have any other sites like collarme or alt or facebook or myspace or any of that. I often join just to hold my nickname as the thought of anyone else using my nickname makes me pissy, but I have yet to participate in any other than livejournal. However, I've found that many of my friends from ALL different places I have participated in over the years are on fetlife and it's much more discussion orientated than date site so I have a feeling I might just get into this one!

 

[Shankara20]

Fetlife is incredibly slow for me too. It is the only page so I really think it must be from their end.

faster today, it is, yes!

 

[intothewoods]

*bump*

I just logged in again after ignoring this site for months. I kinda dig it now! It's nice that there are so many people and so many different groups and discussions going on. I'm kind of digging all of the different perspectives at the moment.

Anyone particularly active on FetLife these days? What groups do you like?

 

[serijules]

*bump*

I just logged in again after ignoring this site for months. I kinda dig it now! It's nice that there are so many people and so many different groups and discussions going on. I'm kind of digging all of the different perspectives at the moment.

Anyone particularly active on FetLife these days? What groups do you like?

I read there a lot but don't post much, same as here. One of these days my anti-social streak will break I'm sure.

 

[FurryFury]

*bump*

I just logged in again after ignoring this site for months. I kinda dig it now! It's nice that there are so many people and so many different groups and discussions going on. I'm kind of digging all of the different perspectives at the moment.

Anyone particularly active on FetLife these days? What groups do you like?

It is more active. There seem to be many more people there.

I'm spending more time there but Lit is my first BDSM home. I will always spend time here. I will always prefer the format here too.

 

[DVS]

*bump*

I just logged in again after ignoring this site for months. I kinda dig it now! It's nice that there are so many people and so many different groups and discussions going on. I'm kind of digging all of the different perspectives at the moment.

Anyone particularly active on FetLife these days? What groups do you like?

I'm a member of the midwest kink groups...Midwest, Missouri, Kansas, etc., but I don't post much. And nobody seeks me out, either. If I want anything to happen, I have to instigate it. I'm an outsider there, I guess, and I understand that. This has been home, for me. I've been hanging out here for almost seven years, now. To change, I'd have to have a good reason.

It is more active. There seem to be many more people there.

I'm spending more time there but Lit is my first BDSM home. I will always spend time here. I will always prefer the format here too.

Of the many people there, many even near my area are strangers. Those from Missouri are in St. Louis, on the other side of the state. Just because they are in Missouri, they don't care about me.

As for the Kansas kink group, they are all spread out over the state. And there aren't that many large cities in Kansas, that are very close to Kansas City. Wichita is hours away. I'm a realist. If not in the KC local area, not much chance of striking up a skin to skin relationship with someone so far away. And someone with my kinks...you have to REALLY want me. LOL.

I agree with you on the format. I just can't figure it out. Part of it might be that I don't go there that much, but there is some of it that I can't read...the color scheme is strange in some parts.

And, it's always slow. It's said that someone without much money started the whole thing. Well, if that's the case, it isn't going to get any faster, very soon. Bandwidth costs money and it isn't cheap.

And fast computers cost money, too. I'm not rich, by any means and my computer is slow. So a slow site is that much slower for me. Not their problem, but just a fact of my life. Lit is sometimes slow, but I don't think it's their fault, except in extreme cases.

And, I don't really like change that much. My stories are posted here. Nobody seems that interested in them, over there, even though I have links set up. Again...I'm an outsider. Not that it bothers me, but it makes it that much more difficult to warm up to.

LOL...if I had naked women sending me gobs of messages over there, I might feel more like battling the format issue. But, I'm finding my age to be increasing much quicker than my sexual attraction counters it.

I've got a friend that owns Bound. She tried to get me to post over there, and I did. But, it's like Fetlife, in that I don't know anyone, and seem like an outsider. If I were to leave Lit, I'd give Bound a chance, before Fetlife. Just being truthful.

 

[Harmony_1985]

I find it incredibly irritating that I can get so far on Fetlife then the connection times out and it takes me 5 mins to get it to connect again.

Its n never ending cycle.

 

[00Syd]

I like fetlife. It's made meeting people local to me much, much easier. I'm very shy, and not very good at putting myself out there by going to a munch without knowing anyone, but I'm very comfortable meeting people online. Fetlife has allowed me to meet people nearby, my age (or close to), who I have things in common with, who are part of the scene, who I then get to meet offline and who will introduce me to more people and take me to meetings and events and parties since I'm too wussy to go alone. For that, Fetlife has been invaluable to me. But for discussions, I think I'll always prefer Lit.

 

[sexycaz22]

I am a member of many groups, and at the beginning, I was excited and interested with Fetlife, because it was a new thing! But now, I feel like I am an outsider there, for some reason, and so does not post that much.

But I do come by Fetlife, occissionally if there is something worth to read about. But like some people have said, Lit, BDSM Chat/Cafe is my first home, and I do feel comfortable posting on here more than I do on Fetlife.

Still, both sites are good and will have some negatives, too

Off the topic: Hope everyone's well!

 

[CutieMouse]

The white on black text gives me a headache... and I have discovered the conversation kiss of death:

Random PYL-type Person - [foolish, unimaginative comments about redheads/librarians/blahblahblah] "So tell me what you're looking for?"

Me - "These days? No one gets past friendship. Period."

*crickets*



Bit too direct, maybe?

 

[FurryFury]

Re: "Outsiders"

Just a note. We are all outsiders in any new place. That's just life, not a stigma or anything. To not be an outsider you simply have to post more so people get to know you. Once they know you, the smart ones will surely love you!

 

[billc393]

I'm on Fetlife too (same nick), like others had said it's not better, or worse, just different.

There's definitely a wider variety of topics here... it's all BDSM at Fetlife.

 

[DVS]

I'm DVS over there, too. And, it was my understanding that many from Lit moved over there, so I thought it would be easy to start posting. Some kept their Lit names, so I knew them, but I still had that format to get past. It was a long time before I even knew where my wall was.

I did meet someone locally over there. She didn't post on Lit. But, after negotiations she ended up with someone who seemed more masculine to her, I guess. She didn't say that, but his profile picture was him, shirtless, with a beard, holding the mouth of crocidile open for the camera. Anyway, she's no longer with him, for whatever reason. Maybe the croc was dead... or rubber I don't know.

Anyway, I don't think it's a bad place at all. And I do see some good points about the place. I don't like that you can't edit your posts, and I don't like the color scheme. And it seems they've made some changes to the site, recently. That sucks, when I'm still trying to find my way around.

It's all about personal preferences, I'm sure. Some people like different things. There's nothing wrong with that. If the place works for you, then fine. To be clear, it's not a total loss for me, either. It's just not my first choice.

 

[WriterDom]

Someone started a Georgia health group. And pretty quickly it got over 40 members. So it must be pretty active.

 

[DVS]

Maybe the croc ate him for supper.



Just teasing.

Maybe the croc just ate the part of him that made her happy.

 

[rida]

There are pros and cons as with every site.

Lit is the first place on line I really really joined in and I like the thread format, the fact you can edit your posts and quote other posts. Also having the threads broke down in pages makes it much easier to read and follow. I also like that you can decide the color scheme (white on black on my mobile in a sunny day is not working very well ...) and that you can shut off avatars and pictures (makes for a more discreet viewing).

What I like on Fet is that you can look up kinksters by location

to DVS: post your story on the Anal Slut group ... it should get you a lot of hits

to CuiteMouse: yep ... replying with "I'm not looking for anything but I am always happy to make new friends!" seems to bring out the crickets ... haha

 

[billc393]

There are pros and cons as with every site.

I like the thread format, the fact you can edit your posts and quote other posts. Also having the threads broke down in pages makes it much easier to read and follow. I also like that you can decide the color scheme ... and that you can shut off avatars and pictures.

I think the forums here are about the best I've used, very flexible, and well organized... Lit has definitely become my new favorite place to hang out.