Strings for the Veteran (Closed)

[prettyserpentine]

Elinor couldn't sleep, she twisted and turned in her sheets and finally gave up, pulling Nicholas' manuscript out and reading it. After an hour or so, she could hear muttering. Putting the novel down, she got out of bed, pulling a shawl around her shoulders and moving to her bedroom door. The muttering faded, and she walked instead to the bathroom. It got louder. She opened the door just as she heard yelling that almost made her heart stop.

"CEASE FIRE! GOD, STOP! STOP!"

She bolted, flinging the door open wide and catching her thigh on the lock, tearing her nightdress and her skin open but she barely even felt it. She hurried to his door, pulling it open, switching on the bedside light and climbing onto the bed as he thrashed violently. Her hands gripped his arms, he was strong and so obviously terrified. She held him, almost lying on him but a little to his side, putting her arms around his neck and holding him tightly.

"Ssshh, sshhh, you're safe Nicholas, you're safe... It's just a bad dream," she whispered against his ear, smoothing his hair as she soothed him. "I'm here, I'm here... It's alright, please..."

Elinor lay alongside him, holding his face in her hands, her eyes pleading as he started to come around, wakening slightly. He looked frightened, embarrassed almost.

"Don't be afraid, I won't ever let anything harm you..." Her eyes searched his face and she kissed him. His cheeks were damp from tears and she could taste the salt on his lips. Their foreheads rested together. "I promise."

 

[Niceandbrutal]

A gentle voice gradually broke through the fog of terror of his dream. Strong small hands restrained him while the voice spoke soothingly to him, and a weight kept him down, a warm and fragile weight that held no terrors for him. And the new smell in the cool room told him that he wasn't in Iraq.

A warm press to his forehead and a soft kiss brought him back to reality. Then his eyes focused. Elin was there, calming him down and soothing him like he had calmed and soothed her. He wasn't sure he liked her seeing him like this. But he still wept as the horror of the memory washed through him. He clung to her as if his life depended on it, weeping and apologizing for waking her up like this.

He hadn't had a dream this bad in a long while. He knew that the brain could dredge up bad memories when he felt safe. It was something he'd just have to live with. As would Elin and Erin have to.

He gradually calmed down as Elin lay by him, stroking his hair and talking with a calm voice. He noticed the wound on her thigh and immediately got upset again, but she shushed him and told him it was nothing, that she hadn't even noticed it before he pointed it out. He smiled gratefully at her then, his fierce prodigy.

He looked at her, not knowing he gave her the same look she'd given him on her many sleepless nights. "Promise you won't leave me?" he asked her with a small voice. She just smiled and nodded before giving him a new kiss. Opening the covers for her to climb into with him, he fell asleep utterly exhausted and slept like a child.

 

[prettyserpentine]

"Go to sleep. I'll be here."

She curled up next to him, their arms around each other. It wasn't long before they both slept deep, dreamless sleeps. Much needed rest, too.

When morning dawned, Elinor realised that Nicholas had gone to bed without drawing the curtains. She looked out at the snowy sky and listened to the sounds from outside. A car drawing up and leaving. That must be Marianne and Will and the kids heading to his parents. She blinked, sighing happily. It had been a good Christmas. She could feel the soft, steady breath of a still sleeping Nicholas against her back. His arms were draped around her and his chest was pressed against her back, and...

She blushed deep red. That was new. She nudged her hips a little, and tried to suppress a giggle. He kissed her shoulder, slowly waking up, absent mindedly trailing kisses along her shoulder and neck. She giggled, pulling his arms around her.

"Nikolai?"

"Mmmm?" He replied sleepily.

She nudged her hips again. "Um... Is that...uhm..." She glanced over her shoulder, blushing.

 

[Niceandbrutal]

He was drifting out of sleep as a cute giggle registered in his brain. He was well aware of the lithe and warm body pressed against him, and he awoke feeling aroused. It was a good feeling, something he hadn't felt in a long while. He opened his eyes and saw a pretty and slender shoulder just begging to be kissed. And who was he to argue?

He kissed it, and started trailing kisses from the shoulder to the neck. Soft and warm skin smelling of sleep seemed to welcome him as he started kissing the neck. Then: Nikolai?

He answered with a tired and lustful grunt as the cobwebs started to clear. There was a nudge against his very erect manhood, then a question: "Um... Is that...uhm..."

Whoah. WHOAH!

He was suddenly very much awake. Blushing profusely, he tried to suppress his willy, having seemingly taken on a life on its own. He brought his hand down and pressed his erect manhood between his legs as he started apologizing to Elin.

"God I'm sorry Elin! I didn't mean to... but I was asleep. And it felt so nice lying next to you and you smelled so good and... please forgive me. I don't want to.. that is, I DO want to, with you, but I don't want to pressure you and... oh."

He looked both upset and aroused as he backed away, trying to keep his rigid staff under control and under the covers. He was blushing profusely. His brain jumbled up and made him babble like a madman.

 

[prettyserpentine]

Elinor turned to face him, a hand over her mouth as she giggled. "I'm sorry... It's very, uhm, it's quite, uhm... Well formed."

Well formed? They both succumbed to laughter. How else could she have put she thought he was big? She leaned in to him again, kissing him, letting herself have something normal.

"I like waking up like this. Sleeping together is nice," she said as she blushed. She wanted to kiss him again, so she pulled his hands away, placing them around her as she cuddled up against him. "I don't mind..." She nudged him with her hips, kissing him again. She sighed a little as their lips met, and she tugged a little on his bottom lip. She drew back, her eyes meeting his with the same heat. "I want to... with you, too..." Her arms slid up over his shoulders, pulling him to her somewhat clumsily. The woman could play a violin like the devil himself, but when it came to making out with someone, she was a little rusty. As her hands roamed over his body, she groaned a little, feeling a need rushing through her that she hadn't felt in a very, very long time.

They broke the kissing after a few minutes, panting, blushing. He was hard, and she was wet. She bit her lip and slipped out of bed. "I'll see you at breakfast. I love you." She leaned over him, kissing him again. He made her feel hot and she groaned again, half lying on him, rubbing herself a little on his thigh before she heard someone walk past the door and knock on hers. She disappeared.

It was Carl and he gaped at the little damp spot on her satin nightdress. "Dirty bitch.." He laughed. He waited for her to shower and slip into a pair of skinny jeans, ankle boots and a floaty white top and grey wraparound cardigan.

When everyone had gathered for breakfast, Elinor and Nicholas exchanged secretive glances and blushing moments. Conversation was light, humorous. Bartholomew and Alexey were laughing loudly when there was a tinkling sound. Like someone tapping their glass to make a speech. They looked at Elizabeth, who shrugged, looking past Erin to Elinor. But the young violinist was grinning broadly.

Grinning and looking at Erin, who was tapping her glass with her knife.

 

[Niceandbrutal]

A stunned silence fell across the table as Erin got up an cleared her throat. Elin and Nicholas were the only people smiling, knowing what was about to happen. Nicholas felt a little lump in his throat, knowing how happy everyone would be. Erin looked at him and Elin and smiled. Erin's and Nicholas' mom was on her way out of her seat and Erin placed a hand on her shoulder and pressed her down.

You could hear a pin drop as she surveyed the expectant faces, and then she said: "I really don't know what to say. I woke up yesterday morning and found I could form words and sentences again." Nicholas looked around the table. Most sat in stunned silence, mouths agape. There wasn't a dry eye to be seen. Their mother broke down and cried, and Bartholomew and Nicholas both went to her to console her. She waved them off, a big teary smile on her face. She turned around and gave Erin a long and fierce hug as she cried out of sheer happiness and relief. Nicholas went back to his seat and gave Elin's hand a squeeze as they waited for Erin to continue.

Eventually their mother settled down, and Erin resumed speaking. With a voice that was still a little unsure and wavering, she continued: "I don't know what happened. I just wanted to say my brother's name" she sent a beaming smile his way "and then I could. But there are so many people I'm grateful to. Mom, you never stopped caring. Neither did you, Bartholomew. I love you both and I want to thank you so much for being there for me. St. Nicholas, you were absent for a few years, but you told me why, and I forgive you." Nicholas eyes stung and the lump in his throat grew. "Big brother, you were the first one to talk to me and treat me like a normal human being again, and I love you for it. Oh don't cry, you big girl's blouse!" Nicholas couldn't help himself. He wept and laughed at his irrepressible sister. She gave him a tearful smile as he answered her: "Don't tell me what to do, you little brat!" Erin pointed at him with a flourish: "And there it is!"

When the laughter died down, she continued. "Alexey and Greta, I want to thank you both for helping my brother back on his feet as well as for starting up the charities for traumatized women and veterans. And I am eternally grateful for you letting me celebrate christmas with all of my family again. Thank you." Her voice broke a little and she allowed her mother to grasp her hand and stroke it as she composed herself.

"Elinor." Erin's gaze turned to Elin, and Nicholas could feel her squirm beside him. "I know my brother has been there for you. I also know you've been there for him. He's told me how much you've done for him and how much you mean to him. You've accepted me like a friend or a sister and I hope to see much more of you. You are a great artist with a great heart, Elinor. Don't let anyone take that away from you."

"I also want to send a thought to two gentlemen, both absent. One is very much alive while the other has stepped out of time. Rex, my lovely little dancing partner, for asking me to dance yesterday, and last but not least, our father; Clarence McKenzie. I miss you daddy!" Her voice broke and she started crying for real this time. It had been an exertion for her and she leaned into her mother and wept. Elizabeth and Bartholomew helped her up and Nicholas went to help them. His mother looked at him with a weary smile and said: "We'll take care of her. You go and be with Elinor, Nicholas. The way you two look at each other and blush, it's clear you want to be with her. Go! Right, Erin?" Erin nodded.

Nicholas slumped down next to Elin. "I think I need some fresh air. Would you care to go for a walk with me and some of the dogs?"

 

[prettyserpentine]

"I thought you'd never ask," she said, rising from the table and going into the kitchen where she pulled on heavy boots, a hat, scarf, gloves and her heavy coat. "I'll go get the dogs!" she called as Nicholas went to fetch his coat. She trudged outside, over to the stables and kennels where she let out Finn, Ben and Pirs. She picked up Lady, gave her a kiss on the head and told her she was too little for a long walk, so she let her into the house where she scampered off to find someone who would cuddle her. Finn's head bumped against Elinor's hip and he nuzzled her. She lovingly stroked his head as Pirs went off to greet Nicholas, and Ben jumped up on her.

"You're a good boy, aren't you Benny," she said, ruffling the retriever's fur as they set off on their walk. She slipped her hand into Nicholas' and they walked quietly for a little while. She found herself imagining every Christmas just like this, them together, walking the dogs and holding hands. She wished every day could be like this. Waking up with him, eating breakfast with him. Her hand tightened a little around his. She couldn't imagine her life without him now, she didn't want to. She wanted to be with him always, and as she looked up at him, their breath appearing in little clouds, she wondered if he felt the same about her.

She leaned down, picking up a snapped branch, and threw it ahead. Ben bounded after it, Finn just kept pace beside her. He was a bit too old for such frivolities as his big head nudged against her, just letting her know he was still by her side.

The two walkers reached the top of a hill that let them look down over the forestry. They could see the little peak of the chapel, and the smoke rising from the house. Finn took the opportunity to sit down and scratch, while Ben bounded around.

"It's really beautiful here, isn't it?" Elinor commented, looking around at the snow, smiling up at Nicholas.

 

[Niceandbrutal]

Nicholas loved walking in the snow with her. He played with Pirs, talking to the big friendly husky and laughed as it tried talking back to him. When they reached the top of the little hill she turned around and asked him: "It's really beautiful here, isn't it?" And it truly was a beautiful spot. But he only had eyes for her.

"It is a lovely place, Elin," he said smiling back at her. "And right now I feel like the luckiest guy in the world, being in this beautiful spot with the woman I love, feeling warm and content. You my dear" he kissed her forehead "compliment" he kissed her nose "the beautiful scenery" and he kissed her mouth. It wasn't a long and lingering kiss, but what it lacked in length it made up for in intensity and sheer unbridled love.

"Watching you play last night was like watching my sister dance. Especially that piece by Paganini gave me goosebumps. You two go in for your art in much the same way, body and soul. You burn like bright flames when you perform, shining your radiant light upon all who see you and making our worlds a better place." He kissed her forehead again. "I'm trying to put into words what I felt last night, but it sounds bleak and hollow compared to how I felt."

He embraced her and just looked at her, impish smile and pixie haircut and all. "Do you have anything special you want to do in New York, by the way? I was thinking we maybe could go to a ballet or a concert or some such. What do you say?"

 

[prettyserpentine]

"I wanted to play it for you. You make me want to be better, be a better person. Try harder." She blushed hotly. "My entire life seemed bleak and hollow before you came into it..." She looked up at him shyly and he swept her into a warm hug. She closed her eyes, leaning on him and wondering how she had ever managed a day before, what was the point if not for moments like this?

When he suggested the ballet, or opera, she fell in love with him a little harder.

"Why Mister McKenzie, are you asking me out on a date?" She giggled girlishly, kneeling down in the snow and hugging at Finn. "I've always wanted to go up the Empire State Building. One of the girls from orchestra went last Christmas, that's where her fiancé and she met, and he proposed to her. Isn't that romantic?" Suddenly she blushed, her eyes dropping. "That's not... You don't have to... do that...."

Ben barked, digging up his branch and bringing it back to Elinor. She picked it up and threw it again. "I'd like to go to the opera, and maybe the zoo... We could go out for dinner somewhere nice." She looked around at him, smiling brightly. "What about you? Isn't there anywhere you'd like to visit?" Ben came trotting back with the stick and Elinor grabbed one end of it, wrestling with him. Finn grumbled and went underneath a picnic table and curled up. Elinor lost the wrestling match and ended up on her bottom in the snow. She laughed, standing up and brushing snow off.

 

[Niceandbrutal]

"Before I propose, I will need to settle into my new life. I mean, I'm only now getting used to sleeping in a proper bed again. And getting used to have a steady well paying job. But I want you as an inseperable part of my new life and I want to get to know you even better. I love you Elin." It felt so good to say it, without stuttering and fear of shock and disapproval. He loved her and he knew that she loved him. And it was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

"I love you, Elinor Ilya Mironov," he repeated, relishing the warmth that emanated from within each time he said it. He was stating the world's most wonderful fact for her. Gripped by a sudden glee born from the fact that he was in love and all the wonderful things that had happened to him, he seized her around the waist and twirled around in the snow with her as the dogs excitedly jumped and barked around them. Then he gently set her down and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "But I guess you kinda knew that, huh?"

"New York? Empire State, fine dining and opera and zoo sounds like fine places to do and visit. I'd like to have a look at one of the larger bookstores while I'm there. And if you can abide being in a large crowd with me, Times Square on New Years Eve. But the most important thing is being with you. Because I love you." Pirs made a sound that made them both laugh hard. Repetition was obviously key for dogs to learn new sounds.

The sound Pirs made: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXo3NFqkaRM

 

[prettyserpentine]

When they had stopped laughing, Elinor wiped a tear from her eye as Pirs barked, wagging his tail incessantly. Surrounded by Nicholas' arms, Elinor kissed his cheek.

"I love you too, and I'm so glad you're here with me. I can't imagine ever being away from you." She buried her face in his shoulder happily, hugging him. "And bookstores sound fun. I like them. We can visit a few movie places too. Times Square..." She hesitated. She knew it would be hard for her. "I'll try, I really will. You'll just have to tie me to you or something, so I don't lose you in the crowd." Her muted sigh muffled in his jacket as she snuggled against his warmth. "I don't want to go back to town tomorrow. I like it when you're just a room away from me. You'll be downstairs then." She seemed sad. And honestly, the idea made her feel nervous. But she had to be brave.

"Hey, lovebirds!" Alfredo called from the hillside, waving his arm. Ben bolted out towards him. "Your mom told me to fetch you, Nicky. They're packing up, and want to say goodbye. She wants to know if you want to go back with them for the night." He just about reached them, tossing the branch for Ben to fetch.

Elinor could have cried. She pulled her scarf up over her nose and shivered, moving away a little. She hated herself for being so selfish.

"Bart's going to drop me and Carl off at our place on the way," he said, pulling Elin's hat down with a charming grin. "We'll call you when you get back tomorrow, alright?"

She just nodded, a lump forming in her throat. His shoulders sagged, noting her blue mood. He grabbed her into a hug and she squeezed him. He made a raspberry sound.

"Oh! Too many sprouts!" He kissed her head. "Thanks for a great Christmas, love. It was a blast. You can definitely be best beard at our wedding..." That earned him a good natured smack, but he laughed it off as he broke away and headed back to the house. Elinor watched him go.

"I don't like this part of Christmas." She looked at Nicholas fleetingly, not wanting to let him see she was sad. "Come on, you need to pack your stuff up... A night with your family will be so fun!" She grabbed Ben's stick, the other end in the big retriever's mouth and she grabbed Nicholas' hand with her free one, pulling them back down the hill towards home.

 

[Niceandbrutal]

Nicholas was genuinely torn. He wanted to spend time with his sister and his mother and stepdad. But he hated the thought of being away from Elin, as he resented the fact that they were so rudely interrupted. Heaving a sigh, he let himself be dragged off the hill. Pirs seemed to sense a change in the mood, and he plodded along next to Nicholas.

They arrived at the house to see his mother, stepfather and Erin pack their luggage in their car. His mother saw him and lit up in a bright smile, as did Bartholomew and Erin. "Nicholas," his mother cried, "I was so hoping to see you again. Tell me, would you like to come with us for one night?" Nicholas swallowed and looked from his family to Elinor and back again.

His mother suddenly smiled, comprehension dawning on her. She turned to Elinor. "You're welcome to stay with us too, of course. It seems like you and Nicholas are inseperable anyway." Nicholas smiled at that. He turned and looked at Elin. "What do you say, Elinor? Care to join my family for the night?"

He leaned in and said in a stage whisper: "Don't worry, I'll protect you!" This earned him a good natured scoffing sound from his mother.

 

[prettyserpentine]

Elinor smiled politely at Elizabeth, but the thought of going somewhere unfamiliar just right now filled her with worry, and being so far from her uncle was frightening. She knew Nicholas would be there, but it wasn't her home. On legs that were a little shaky, she approached Elizabeth, hugging her tentatively.

"Thank you for the lovely offer, but I'm afraid I'll have to decline. I just don't think I can..." She stumbled over the words, and Erin pulled her into an enthusiastic hug. "I'll stay here with my aunt and uncle. It'll be nice, family time and such... But thank you." She kissed Erin on the cheek. "Maybe Easter, or something, I just..."

Erin held her face. "Hey hey, it's alright. You don't need to make excuses. You do what you feel is right for you." Her smile was encouraging.

Elinor turned to Nicholas. "You should go. Spend time with them." She suddenly felt very small and lost, and looked around for her uncle. She looked back at Nicholas. "Um... You'll need to pack. And...uh..." Words failed her and she felt very awkward.

 

[Niceandbrutal]

Nicholas went to Elin and hugged her. "I hate leaving you, sweetheart. But I need to go with my mom and Erin. There's lots to talk about and decide and I want to make up for lost time. And it'll only be one night. I'll see you again tomorrow, neighbour." He wasn't really sure who he was trying to convince, her or himself. Then he had an idea. "Why don't you join me for dinner tomorrow? I'm dying to test out the new spices you got me for christmas!" He gave a little shy smile before continuing: "And you can invite along the newly engaged lovebirds as well, if you want. Y'know, to protect you from any undue advances from yours truly." God. He needed to shut up in the worst way. He always did this when he tried to be brave and bottle up his emotions. Bad jokes, then worse jokes.

He shut up and kissed her. Then he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers with his eyes closed. "I'll miss you, my little sun."

He went up and packed while Elin hovered near the door as she tried to be upbeat about them being apart for a day. She was putting on a brave face, as was he. But they both felt obliged to please their families, and that was that. Nicholas knew that Erin needed all the help and backup she could get in the time to come. And Elin couldn't in good conscience leave her aunt and uncle in the mansion. And that was that. He hugged Greta and Alexey, bade Mrs. Wilson a fond farewell and swept Elin in his arms for a long smoldering kiss. Then he leaned in and whispered "I hope that tides you over until tomorrow, my little sun." Then he kissed her neck, a quick teasing kiss before hefting his luggage and walking to the waiting car.

----------------------

They'd driven in silence for a couple of minutes. Nicholas was staring out the window, already missing Elin terribly. It wasn't that he needed to be physically near her, but he missed the opportunity to go to her if he needed comfort. It struck him then how much they'd come to depend on one another. He smiled wistfully, a far away glance ib his eyes. He could endure 24 hours with his family. Hell, it might even be fun. His smile broadened some at that.

"Oh look Ali, moody boy CAN smile after all! I thought he'd forgotten how after we left his SCHWEETHEART behind!" Erin snickered as Carl teased Nicholas. Alfredo just chuckled while Elizabeth smiled a warm smile. Carl turned to Erin: "And what about you, Erin? What are you gonna do now?" Erin looked dumbstruck as she answered: "I- I don't know!" Elizabeth leaned forward and patted her hand. "We'll figure it out, baby girl!"

The drive to the O'Hara estate was a pleasant one. After dropping Carl and Alfredo off at their apartment, Bartholomew drove them to his estate. It was huge. And old. Nicholas gawped and Bartholomew looked distinctly uncomfortable. Elizabeth and Erin entered the large mansion as Bart and Nicholas started hauling luggage along with the staff. "I feel terrible about living here now, Nicholas, knowing what you've been through." Nicholas shrugged. "How were you supposed to know, Bart? Really? It's a waste of time and energy to worry about it now. No-one's judging you or begrudging you in any way." Bart looked relieved. They went into the house together and Nicholas was given the tour. It was about the size of Elin's mansion in the country, but in a rich suburb of Boston.

Dinner was waiting for them. They had a filipino chef that apparently did wonders with fish, according to his mom. After his first taste, Nicholas had to agree. The meal was pleasurable, as was the conversation. It was a treat to hear his sister speak again. She wasn't as opinionated as she used to be, but she was still kind of a brat. His mom clearly still wasn't quite used to hearing Erin's voice again, jumping from time to time when she spoke.

After dinner they sat down and talked. Over the course of the evening there were heated arguments and tender moments as they cleared the air and forgave each other for slights, real or imagined. They also discussed with Erin her prospects now that she was able to communicate again. After long discussions they decided that she should move in to the estate and take it from there. Bartholomew offered to pay for a dance instructor, female of course. And then only time would tell. They stayed awake until the wee hours of the night, reconciling.

And all the while, there was an ache in Nicholas' heart. Elin.

He didn't sleep well that night, afraid to fall asleep after last night's horrendous nightmare. In the end, he got up and roamed the house. He chanced on Erin in the kitchen.

"Hey Little Helper. Can't sleep either, huh?" She looked up from the cup of tea she'd made. "No. Nightmares," was the short reply. He sighed. "Yeah, I know what that feels like. Had a doozy of a nightmare last night, as a matter of fact." He told her about the nightmare, one that was a remembrance of real events. To his surprise she told him about her nightmare. It was a retelling of the assault on her. She spoke about it in a flat dispassionate voice; her date with her boyfriend, how they'd decided to walk home, how the five men had accosted them and grown increasingly aggressive as she turned down their lewd suggestions. How her boyfriend had tried to intervene and been killed for his trouble... and then the rape. Her breath grew more rapid and her knuckles grew white as she relived the terror visited upon her that night. Nicholas wept for her, but it was good to hear her put words on what she'd been through. He just nodded and tried to be as detached and professional as he could as she revealed the most intimate aspects of the assault on her body. In the end she broke down and wept. She allowed Nicholas to hug her, though.

He hugged her and rocked her. "You've come so far Erin. For you to talk about this like you just did shows strength. Real strength. Don't let the bastards win. You owe it to yourself to get through this, Little Helper." She sniffed and said "I know," filling his heart with joy. She really was strong.

They sat and talked for a little while longer, but after a while they got sleepy. It had helped to talk things through, it seemed. For both of them. He endured some good natured teasing about him and Elin, then she turned serious.

"Nicholas, Elin is a keeper. And no, I'm not thinking about the fact that she's fabulously rich. That's just luck. But she's a strong and generous woman that deserves a steady rock of a man. You, Nicholas. You are the rock for her as was- as was M-Max for me. I really loved him, Nicholas. And they took him from me." He hugged her again. He followed her to her room and stopped outside the door.

"Erin, if you need to talk to me, like EVER, don't hesitate to call me or come visiting me, okay?" She nodded. "Good, now go to sleep, Little Helper."

Nicholas went back to his room and fell asleep, sleeping like a log. Erin's night passed without any incident as well. They were awoken by their mother, chirping on about her "little sleepyheads" almost missing breakfast. It was during breakfast that Erin revealed that Nicholas had, in fact, been writing on a book. There was a clatter of utensils as his mother looked at him. "When- how- what? I thought you didn't want to be a writer!?" Nicholas laughed at that. "No mother, I've always wanted to be a writer. But I wanted something REAL to write about, remember mom?" He smiled at her, and after a few moments she smiled back at him.

"Oh but Nicholas that is WONDERFUL! I always said that you had talent, didn't I always say that Erin? What is it about is it about the war oh I can't wait to read it oh Nicholas..." He had to stop her and tell her that for the moment there were exactly two manuscripts. One was in this house. Erin could lend his mom her copy if she wanted to. The other manuscript was with Elin. But he was secretly very pleased that his mom was so eager and happy.

After breakfast they went for a walk in the upscale neighbourhood, all four of them. It was a pleasant enough area, but Nicholas got the feeling of walking by several luxurious armed forts more than homes. He preferred the apartments where he and Elin lived.

Elin was always on his mind. After lunch, Bart offered to drive him back. His mom and erin went along as well, curious to see his apartment. On their way there, Nicholas texted Elin, warning her that he was arriving with his family.

They drove up to the building and entered his apartment.

 

[prettyserpentine]

But Elin wasn't there.

The day Nicholas had left, she spent the day in the house, relaxing with Alexey and Greta. She dozed between them on the sofa as they watched movies, picked at her dinner. She barely ate. The throng of people seemed to have taken a toll on her.

That night, she had a nightmare so severe that when Alexey ran into her room to wake her, she had scratched her hand so badly it was bleeding. He bandaged it up cleanly, and Elin spent the night sleeping between him and Greta. His heart broke when she woke up and commented on how it was like having her parents back. Then she went to her room, and didn't rise from her bed the whole day.

She had decided to stay an extra couple of days in the country, and no amount of talking from Alexey would dissuade her. She planned to move her bedroom into her parents former room, and had arranged for an interior designer to come and visit the house. The hour the designer was there was the only hour she spent out of bed. Alexey and Greta had to return to Boston, and he spent more time on the phone to Mrs Wilson than she could spare. Elinor would come to the city on the 29th, only letting Alexey know, and Nicholas. She said she was sorry, but she would have to miss dinner again. 'I love you,' she wrote. 'But I need to do this. I hope you understand.'

She was adamant she wanted to be alone. Alexey had to field calls from Carl and Alfredo, questions from Marianne, and even Mrs Wilson couldn't persuade her to get out of bed. She rose almost every night for an hour or two to practice her cello and violin, barely ate, and then retired to her old room again. She went for walks with the dogs at 5am, and proclaimed she wanted Lady sent to her apartment after New Year.

Mrs Wilson reported everything back to Alexey, who was as furious as his niece was stubborn. She refused to come back to Boston until she was good and ready. Mrs Wilson reported nightmares on both nights she was alone. The second time she had tried to intervene, Elinor yelled that she could cope with it.

Alexey was worried. He was having problems enough with reporters trying to get into her building, so much so in fact that he began making sure the doormen asked for identification. David Moore had officially been charged with multiple offences, rape, attempted rape, murder and attempted murder. It was all over the newspapers. Alexey was adamant that Nicholas took his private jet to New York. He was determined to protect his niece.

Greta had stopped by Elin's apartment to check the place. The Irish woman was wary, finally letting herself be tired after the horrors the last few weeks had visited upon her. She had met up for coffee with Elizabeth and Erin to talk about things, to try and find ways to move forward with the project, and with Elinor. Erin explained she needed time to cope in her own way. Elizabeth tried to console with Greta as best she could. Erin helped her stock Elinor's apartment the morning of her arrival. She was coming just after lunch, and Erin was making sure the dog was fed before she got there, and Greta was enjoying the company.

As she sat in the car, Elinor was beginning to regret driving herself back. It was a long road, and she was truly an awful driver. Just as she reached the city limits, she pulled into a gas station to fill up. She stood at the kiosk, putting her credit card number in when the attendant recognised her.

"Hey, aren't you... That girl?" The young woman pointed to the newspaper.

Elinor looked around at the stand, seeing her bruised and battered face staring back from a mop of curls. It was before the coma... But there were other pictures. After the coma, one of her lying in a hospital bed, bald and wired to machines.

One from her playing the violin on Christmas Day.

She felt sick. She pulled her phone out and dialled Alexey.

"Have you seen the papers? What the fuck is this? Who did this? I want you to find whoever it was, a nurse, one of the staff.... I want them fired!" She yelled down the phone, and then, as she drove a little further, she made another call.

Elinor didn't go home. She went to her therapist. She talked for two hours and didn't make it back into her apartment until almost six. She parked her car in the underground garage and took the elevator. It rode right to the top. Just as she sent Nicholas a text, telling him she was home, she let herself into her apartment. There was a bunch of yellow roses, with a welcome home note from Erin, just to let her know Lady was with Nicholas downstairs because she had gotten lonely. Elinor locked the door behind her and poured herself a glass of cold water. She unpacked, pulling on grey sweats before turning on the news.

The pending court case. She switched the TV off, walking into her practice room. She couldn't even muster the desire to lift her bow. She walked through the apartment, ran her bath, and was just about to undress when she heard a knock at the door.

 

[Niceandbrutal]

Nicholas' mood fell when she wasn't there, but she wrote back that she needed time alone and that she'd be back in two days. He must've looked crestfallen, judging by his mother's and Erin's expression. When he told them why he looked so down, they laughed and teased him a bit about having fallen so hard for the little musician. He couldn't help but chuckle in the end.

He placed his mom and stepfather in the doubleseated chair as he and Erin went shopping. He hated the thought of eating alone, and he'd grown to enjoy his mother's company again after they head cleaned the air between them properly. She could still be kind of a bitch and she was still a status-seeker, but as long as she climbed the ranks of Boston society by working for charities, he wouldn't complain.

Erin went with Nicholas to a well stocked supermarket to find ingredients needed for russian dumplings and borscht. This was her first time out and about in a store for ten years and he watched her closely. She had really come far in those ten years. She was wary when there were too many men around her, but she kept her calm and hardly even flinched when someone tapped her shoulder to give her back her mittens when she'd lost them on the floor. They paid and left and she was exhausted but jubilant, dancing around Nicholas as he carried the groceries home.

On their way up in the elevator, Erin looked serious all of a sudden. "Nicholas, there's one thing I've not done yet that I need to do. I need to visit Max's grave. And I need to go back to the place where we- it happened. Will you join me?" Nicholas felt apprehensive, but he agreed to be there for her. They told their mother of their plan as they made dinner. Everyone chipped in to help, with Nicholas overseeing like a general as the meal came together.

They ate and complimented each other on a well prepared meal. Afterwards they settled in the sitting group and just talked and commented on the news. They agreed that Erin should sleep over at Nicholas' apartment She would sleep in his bed and he would sleep on the couch. Their mother at once began to protest about the couch not being right and how it was no problem for them to bring Erin to his flat tomorrow. Nicholas just smiled and said he'd slept on much worse things than a pristine new couch, to which his mother and stepfather had no reply.

Their mom and stepfather left, and they spent the rest of the evening watching old movies and reminiscing about their father. Erin went to sleep a little after midnight, and Nicholas settled down to sleep on the couch. He remembered only a few days previously, when he'd been sitting here with Elin's head in his lap while she soundly slept through "It's a wonderful life." On impulse, he sent her a text message: I'm thinking about you. I miss you. Then he drifted off to dreamless sleep.

Erin woke him at 4:30. She was screaming like her life depended on it, and Nicholas stopped to wonder if this was how she'd screamed that fateful night. He went into the bedroom and woke her up. She wept and clung to him, shaking as the sobs wracked her whole body. He spoke to her like he'd spoken to Elin. He was calm and consoling, urging her to vent, which she did.
Then she fell asleep in his arms. He managed to slip out and left her asleep. He brewed some strong coffee and settled down to watch the dawn rise over Boston. He couldn't go back to sleep after hearing those horrendous scream of his little sister anyway.

A few hours later Erin emerged puffy eyed and pale, but with a look of determination on her face. Nicholas knew he couldn't dissuade her. She was going to go through with her plan of visiting old haunted places today. Nicholas fixed some breakfast for them both, which they ate in silence.

After visiting a florist to buy two wreaths, they hailed a taxi and drove to the cemetery where their father and Erin's boyfriend lay buried. Their first stop was their father's grave. Clarence McKenzie, loving husband, adoring father. May he find peace in the afterlife. The grave was well kept and there were lit candles and flowers there. Clearly their mother hadn't forgotten him. And Bartholomew probably had helped as well, judging by how clean and pristine the site was. They lay down the wreath. It was made of laurel and white roses, with a banner that said simply: We miss you every day. Love you, dad. Erin and Nicholas.

Then came the hard part. They had to look a while before they found the grave of Max Jensen, her boyfriend. When finally they found it, Erin was hesitant, seemingly afraid to move too close. Nicholas moved forward and brushed some snow off the headstone: Max Jensen. The good die young. Greater love hath no man... Nicholas read the epitaph with a calm sad voice and Erin broke down and cried. Nicholas had to support her as she moved towards the headstone and embraced it and wailed. Nicholas laid down the wreath. It was laurel and red roses, on the vehement insistence of Erin. The two banners, one from her and one from him, read: I miss you, my love. Erin and simply Thank you. Nicholas.

Then all he could do was to hold his sister while she cried out her sorrow and misery. Then suddenly: "Hey you! You kids! What are you doing with that grave! Get away from there or we'll call the police. You just see if we don't!" An elderly couple had approached them, and the man was shaking his fist at them. Nicholas stood up and calmly walked over to them. "My sister is paying her respects to the man that died while trying to save her. And who might y- Mr Jensen!" Now he recognised them. They'd lived a couple of houses down from them and been over to visit on many occasions. Dawning comprehension struck the old man and woman. "Nicholas? Erin!?"

Mrs. Jensen went over to Erin and hugged her while Mr. Jensen and Nicholas stood awkwardly by, not really knowing what to say. After a while the silence between them became almost painful until Nicholas burst out: "I wish I could have been there for the both of them, Mr. Jensen!" Mr. Jensen nodded and said with a small voice "So do I." After that there really was nothing more to say about that matter. The Jensens had tried for retrial, nearly bankrupting themselves in the process. Nicholas' heart ached as he told about having to give up paying for their son's grave and that this was probably the last christmas they could visit his grave. Nicholas resolved there and then to ask his stepfather to help them. What good was money if it wasn't put to good use, after all?

Mrs Jensen and Erin approached, huddled together in a supportive embrace. Nicholas and Mr Jensen went to them and embraced them both. The Jensens invited them home for lunch, and Nicholas and Erin didn't have the heart to turn them down. They still lived in the same house, but it had fallen into a state of neglect disrepair over the years. It was like a shrine to their only son. His room was untouched. There were pictures of him everywhere. There was even a framed picture of him and Erin together in the couch, her head in his lap, looking up at him. She looked at him with a dreamy smile and he looked back at her, love evident on his face. It was a beautiful and intimate picture, filled with tenderness and what might have been.

Erin asked for and got permission to visit his room, accompanied by Mrs Jensen. Nicholas excused himself and went outside to call his mom. He explained in broad strokes where he was and what he thought of the Jensens' situation. His mom replied that she would do all she could to help them, steely resolve in her voice. It seemed she was waking up after ten years as well. Good for her.

He went back inside and helped them prepare lunch. They had evidently been scraping together money to have a halfway decent christmas, and he and Erin drained their resources by eating with them. Nicholas laid more plans, inspired by Elin's kindness. How he missed her. And she wasn't due back for another day. They ate a meagre lunch in silence, a silence punctuated by the heavy ticking of a clock. After lunch, Nicholas and Erin promised to stay in touch as they left. As they walked towards the place of the assault, Erin was silent and pale. But she was also angry. Nicholas saw it plain as day. He had to ask.

"Okay Erin, for real now, are you sure you're up to this?" He was about to continue when she whirled around. "YES I am ready for this, Nicholas McKenzie! If I don't confront my fears they will eat me slowly alive and I'll end up afraid of my own shadow again and I don't want that. And it eats me up how no-one's taken care of the Jensens in these ten years! They should have had help from... someone! ANYONE! Goddamnit, it isn't FAIR!" Nicholas nodded. She was right. "I agree, Erin. And I've called mom to get her use some of that O'Hara money to help them so thay at least can have a modicum of comfort in their sorrow. God, that whole house made me want to weep. It's like time stopped for them. And I guess it did, for them. It just makes me appreciate how lucky I've been after all."

Erin stopped. "LUCKY!? You call being homeless on the streets for YEARS lucky!? Having to beg for food and work while hanging on to your meagre belongings!? That isn't LUCKY Nicholas McKenzie! That is just about the rottenest luck IMAGINABLE, you idiot!" She was shaking with anger, her face flushed.

He replied: "I meant lucky in the sense that I didn't lose you. Nothing more." She deflated. "Oh. Well in that sense, sure. But there were times where I only wanted to join him. I remember cursing you for not being there when I needed you, big brother. But that was unfair of me, I know that. Still, I often think about what might have been if..." Nicholas stopped her with a raised hand. "Don't, Erin. There's only grief and recriminatioans down that road, with sorrow thrown in for good measure. Never forget, but look ahead."

She embraced him then and wept a little. When she let go of him after a while she flinched. Nicholas realised with a start that they'd ended up where she'd been attacked all those years ago. She closed her eyes and drew in one-two-three deep breaths, making Nicholas fear for her fainting from hyperventilating. But then she opened her eyes and started talking.

"We came walking down this street, hand in hand. We'd watched a comedy and eaten at a diner. Nothing too fancy, but it was special because we were special to each other. On the corner there," she pointed "they were standing around, smoking and drinking. They started with the wolf whistles, and then came the lewd suggestions. And then they were on us, surrounding us in an instant. Max tried talking us out of trouble at first. They shoved him around a little and he went along, trying to draw all attention to himself to give me an opportunity to escape. But one of them started groping me and I screamed out and slapped him. He answered by punching me in the stomach, and that was when we realized we were in real danger. Max started laying into them with his fists while yelling for help. I was held down and c-could only watch," she paused, fighting down the tears, "watch while they beat him to death with an iron bar. And after that it was my turn. They beat me and tore away my clothes and then they- they..."

She broke down and cried. "Then they raped me and beat me some more before they left me for dead. Oh God Nicholas!! Why weren't you here!? Why did they do this to us!?" Nicholas was crying freely now. He hugged his sister and swore to himself that he would look into the case and see if he couldn't dig up the names of the culprits. They needed some payback in the worst way. It wouldn't undo what they'd done to Erin. It wouldn't bring back Max. But they needed to suffer for what they'd done.

After a while the sobbing subsided and they were both composed enough to talk without breaking into tears. "You've been more than brave enough for one day, little sister. If you want to sleep over at my place again we can swing by mom and Bart and pick up some clothing. Would you like that?"

With the smallest voice possible she asked him: "Can we make s'mores?" Nicholas had to laugh at that. His laughter was almost hysterical, but it felt good to laugh again, nevertheless. "Of course we can, Little Helper!" He wiped away fresh tears as they set off to find a cab.

When they arrived at the O'Hara residence, their mom was gone, but Bart explained that she was with Greta at Elin's apartment. He gave them a lift back to town and he and Nicholas stayed in his apartment while Erin had coffee with her mom and Greta. When Erin came down she updated Nicholas on the situation with Elin. He was a little unsettled about the nightmares and the scratching and bleeding, so he texted her again. Take care of yourself, my fierce little sun. I love you.

Erin had brought down lady as well, explaining that she couldn't leave the little puppy alone in that big apartment.

In the innermost recesses of his mind, he was afraid that she resented him going with his family. But Elin wasn't unreasonable like that. But still...

Doubt had started gnawing at him.

He spent a calm evening with a thoughtful little sister scarfing down s'mores and watching cartoons, Lady snoozing on her lap. They both loved old time cartoons, and they needed the escape right now. They both went to bed early and they both awoke after a night free from nightmares. Erin excused herself, telling that she'd promised to help Greta stock Elin's apartment. She brought Lady with her for a walk first, then she went to help Mrs Mironov.

Nicholas' phone rang. It was Marianne. "Hey Nicholas! I, uh.. have you by any chance seen today's Boston Tattler? It's- it's not pretty, Nicholas." Nicholas' heart sank as he checked on the internet. And there it was. Pictures of her at her most vulnerable. Damaged. Shorn. Expresssing herself with the violin.

His voice clipped with anger, he said: "Meet me here ASAP! I need someone to stop me from doing something really stupid." Then he hung up. He went into a fit of rage the like of which he hadn't experienced since that horrible day in Iraq. Goddamn vultures! First she's almost raped and possibly killed, and now she's getting screwed by the sensationalist press!? He called Alexey and understood right away that he too had seen the Boston Tattler. The russian giant was livid. Nicholas explained what he intended to do if no-one stopped him. Alexey said he'd come over right away. Nicholas hung up and punched the walls until the skin on his knuckles broke. He made a note to himself to get a punching bag.

After 15 minutes, the doorbell rang. It was Marianne. She was as angry as he was, it seemed. Alexey arrived a few minutes later, bristling with anger. "You mustn't do anything foolish, Nikolai! My lawyers are ALL OVER the case, doing more damage to the paper than you or I ever could. Come on, let's go to the gym and vent our spleens!"

Nicholas had wanted to storm into the offices of the Tattler and start busting heads, but he'd been talked down by the big russian and Marianne. First they went for a long run, then they fought each other in the ring. They didn't hold back. Alexey hit like a sledgehammer while Nicholas danced around him and pummeled him with rapid blows. By the end they were both exhausted. "Draw?" said Alexey. Nicholas nodded, too weary and tender to reply. Alexey's phone rang, and Nicholas could hear a very angry Elin yelling to her uncle. He had to smile then. She came out fighting. She WAS strong, although she denied it to his face.

"My niece is coming home, Nikolai. She too is very upset. I think it best you be there when she comes home, yes?" Marianne had left for home and Alexey drove Nicholas home. He got back to his apartment and took Lady for a walk.
Lady scampered around in the snow, chasing her own tail and placing her scent on every other tree in the nearby park. When he got home he looked himself over in the mirror. Alexey and he had stayed away from each other's faces when they boxed, but he looked like he'd gone through a meat tenderizer elsewhere. Oh well. He wasn't in the red mist anymore, at least.

His phine beeped. She was home. She was here! All other thoughts left his mind as he grabbed Lady and sprinted up the stairs to her apartment, a silly grin spread across his face. He knocked impatiently on her door and grew almost bashful when he saw her standing before him again. Then he said almost shyly "I missed you" before meeting her in an embrace and a kiss.

There was so much that happened while they were separated, but for now he was content just to be near her again. For the moment, he was at peace.

 

[prettyserpentine]

She returned his kiss, relaxing into his arms before bursting into tears. She had missed him more than she could admit. Her arms wound around his waist and held him tight.

"Oh my god I missed you.... I missed you so much," she wept. Her tears were angry, confused, a little frightened, but she really had missed him. And she was exhausted. "Did you see the newspapers?" she asked meekly, discerning a darkness in his face that confirmed to her that he had. She stepped out of his embrace, carefully stepping around an excitable little Lady as she locked the front door. She walked down to the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the bath as she turned the water off. Her large white bath was brimming with bubbles. Some had fallen onto the floor and Lady was pouncing on them. She looked at the bath, and then at Nicholas.

Then she crouched on the floor, cuddling the little puppy in her lap. "Miss Lady, do you think if we asked Nikolai really nicely he would pack for the flight tomorrow and stay here with us tomorrow night? And maybe... I could have my bath while he packs, and then when he comes up, we could order a pizza and just... be? Maybe you could ask him to stay over..." The dog licked her chin and Elinor stood up.

"Miss Lady is wondering if you would stay here tonight. She doesn't feel very tired and she's a little... stressed," Elin shrugged, smiling halfheartedly. "She's so needy..." She breathed out a laugh and scratched her hand, clenching her fist and then leaning forward, kissing him until he was just outside the bathroom door. Then she started slowly closing it. "I'll only be a few minutes..." Her stomach gurgled and she blushed, closing the door. She dropped her clothes and sank into the bath, relaxing. Her arm dangled out over the side as she half dozed, feeling Lady licking her fingers and her palm. It was soothing. She had kind of drifted off until she was jolted back to reality with a start about a half hour later, when she heard the front door open and lock.

He was back. She sat up, alert and happy, looking around for her towel...

...which was in the bedroom.

'Shit,' she thought. "Nicholas?!" She sounded more nervous than she had meant to. "Um, I have a problem!"

 

[Niceandbrutal]

Nicholas smiled. Despite the article, she was in a playful mood. He loved that about her. She could bounce back with the right motivation, which, he realised, was him. He couldn't have been prouder. "I'll be a little while. I need to make sure my wardrobe doesn't embarass you while hobnobbing with the élite of New York, my sweet," he said in a manner which should convince her it was a joke.

He went downstairs to pack, making sure his wardrobe DID meet a certain standard. He wanted to look good for her while at the same time not outshining her. He scoffed. Outshine a diamond? Him? Never. He was in a decidedly light mood as he packed toiletries, then he stopped. Contraception? Should he? He remembered that hot and heavy session of their the other day, and he didn't want a lack of contraceptives to hinder them in expressing their love. In they went.

He re-entered her apartment and was met by a very excited little Lady. Then:

"Nicholas?! Um, I have a problem!

He went and stood outside the bathroom, the door slightly ajar. He didn't peek inside. "What's the matter, Elin?"

I, uh, I left my towel in the bedroom. Could- could you get it for me, please? She sounded nervous. Nicholas went to her bedroom and found a large fluffy towel. He went back to the bathroom.

Nicholas didn't want to ogle her. He grew shy around her, a shyness born out of respect for her. He tried to hand her the towel without looking at her. The floor was slippery with water and soap. It was inevitable, really. He slipped and fell. He reached for a handhold and his hand went into the bathtub as he flailed and fell. He got his pride hurt and the wind knocked out of him. When he again registered what was what, he became aware of his hand on some smooth flesh and Elin's laughter.

 

[prettyserpentine]

She couldn't help but giggle as his hand froze, just down the side of her breast, grazing the underside of her arm. The water had splashed up over her face, leaving soapy white bubbles all over her chest. The towel had landed over the other side of the bath, so it wasn't too wet.

Elin shifted in the water a little. His hand had gripped her skin for some kind of hold, and as she pried his fingers from the side of her breast, she rubbed her lips over his broken knuckles. The smile faded from her face.

"You're hurt..." She said, worried. She stood up, deftly moving the towel around herself so he wouldn't see much. She sat next to him by the bath. He was embarrassed. "You don't need to be sorry," she assured him quietly. "I trust you..." She cleaned his knuckles with gauze, stopping only once to pull the towel over her exposed thigh. "Sorry..." She blushed.

When the wounds were clean, and she was satisfied, she drained the bathtub and disappeared into her bedroom to change. "Can you make sure my half has mushrooms and olives on it? And sausage?" Her voice called from the bedroom. She pulled on a long cotton nightshirt that was about three sizes too big for her, grey plaid, and hung down just above her knees. Her thick, fluffy white bed socks accentuated her slender legs, and provided something for Lady to growl at every time she moved. It made her giggle.

"Have you ordered yet? Can I get chicken wings too? I'm hungry..."

 

[Niceandbrutal]

She'd discovered his knuckles. He tried convincing her that it was nothing to worry about, really, and it was his own foolishness that had caused his knuckles some superficial harm. She wouldn't hear of it. She sat down next to him, wearing only that towel. He tried not to stare. But he was only human and she was very attractive. Despite himself he found his eyes wandering to her thighs as the towel gradually rode upwards, higher and higher until... she pulled it down, covering herself again. He withdrew his stare, blushing furiously.

He had to compose himself after that. When she was in the bedroom, he paced around the room, calming himself. When she came out wearing cute socks and a shirt many sizes too large, he couldn't help but smile. He marveled yet again at his incredible luck. This unbelievable woman loved him. Him! He dialled a pizza place and ordered a pizza for two very hungry people, with side orders of chicken wings. And cola. If there were two foodstuffs that were meant to be, it was cola and pizza.

After ordering he put the phone down and hesitated for a bit. Then he went to her and embraced her again. He told her in short about his and Erin's expedition the day before. He didn't dwell on details but painted with as broad strokes as possible. When he was finished, Xavier rang up to tell them that their food was here.

Nicholas went to fetch the food and returned, placing and preparing the pizza and the chicken wings with exaggerated flourish, hoping to make her smile or even laugh.

"Milady Elinor, dinner is served!"

 

[prettyserpentine]

Elinor sat on the floor, her legs tucked underneath her as she tucked into the chicken wings. After so many days of practically starving herself, she was a hungry woman. She munched on them, picking the meat off the bones and trying not to laugh.

"This is probably kind of disgusting, right?" She spoke through one cheek bulging with chicken. "Well, you know what? I don't care...." She giggled, grinning as she lifted a piece of pizza and taking a bite. She groaned.

"So... Good..." Her voice wavered a little. "I feel like I haven't eaten in a thousand years. I promise I'll eat like a proper lady when we're in New York. Are you excited? I am. I can't wait." She took a long drink from her glass of water before taking another slice. "I'm glad you got a chance to be with your family, and have time with Erin. That's what I wanted for you, to bond with them." She shrugged a little, chewing on her pizza and relishing the taste. "I knew it would be good for you. So it all worked out for the best." She smiled a little as Lady pulled on her sock. "Stop it, you... You're such a mischief maker..." She tickled the puppy, and then looked back at Nicholas with clear eyes.

"I'm nervous about New York..."

 

[Niceandbrutal]

He loved to watch her eat. He loved to watch her play with Lady. She could probably get away with the vagrant look he'd sported and looked cute. Not that he wanted to test that. She looked perfect just as she was now. Playful and relaxed and happy. Nicholas sat with the world's biggest, dumbest smile on his face as he watched her and listened to her talk.

She was right. It HAD been good for both Erin and him to bond, as well as his mom and stepfather. But he felt sad about her being alone with her nightmares. But maybe that had been for the best as well? She seemed okay, more than okay in fact.

"I'm looking forward to see New York with you. I'm excited to be just the two of us alone in the Big Apple."

Then she said: "I'm nervous about New York..."

He looked puzzled. "Whatever for?"

 

[prettyserpentine]

"Well..." she muttered, "I get a little nervous around you, is all..." She cuddled Lady against her chest, blushing a little bit. "You said about the opera, and things like that, well, it's like a date. Kind of."

Horror engulfed her. She was assuming things again. She blanched.

"Oh god, unless it's not... It doesn't have to be a date. It can just be opera. Not...um, whatever. Right?"

Lady licked her collarbone, causing her to shiver and put the pup down. She padded over to Nicholas, tugging on his trouser leg and growling.

Elinor looked at Nicholas solemnly. "I really did miss you. I couldn't sleep without you." She hung her head a little.

 

[Niceandbrutal]

"Nervous? Around me? I'm no-one to be nervous about, you should know that by now, little sun." His voice was calm and light. There was no trace of anger or reproach because there wasn't any.

"Truth be known, I get nervous around you as well, Elin." He sighed. "That came out all wrong. What I mean is, I'm afraid of making a bad impression. I'm, as you no doubt are well aware, in love with you. And I fear to say or do something to make you not like me. So in that regard, yes, I'm nervous about New York too. But I still look forward to going with you."

"And I missed you too, Elin. You were on my mind almsot constantly while we were apart. I missed you so much because I love you. And I already feel that I can't live without you."

He shut up, afraid he'd said too much. They'd professed their love for one another only a few days ago, but the days apart, though good for them, had driven a wedge between them, it seemed. They'd been on the verge of being physical, and then... this uncertainty again.

 

[prettyserpentine]

Elinor bit her lip. Lady was walking around her little basket in circles before flopping down and promptly falling asleep. Elin smiled as she looked back up to Nicholas. She leaned forward and closed the lid of the pizza box.

"I guess I should clear this up," she said as she lifted the empty box into the kitchen. All this honesty was nice, but she still felt a little alien to the whole situation. She'd never been great with boys. "You know, I've never been great with boys," she said, matter of factly. She rinsed their glasses, dried them and put them away in the cupboard. "I think it's because I always focused so much on my studies, my music." She glanced at the clock. It was only 9pm. "I mean, I've been on dates, but I've never really loved anyone before. Not like this...." She didn't really know how to say the next part. "I know you were married once... I had a bit of a rebellious streak when I was nineteen. I dropped out of my music course, went backpacking. I met a history professor when I was in Florence. He was married, with kids a little younger than I was at the time." She blushed. "He was the one I... lost my virginity to."

Elinor walked down the hall, dimming the lights in the living room as Lady slept. She walked out on to the terrace. "But I'm not a rebellious soul really. Nor am I cut out to be the 'other woman'. His wife found out, and we ended it. I haven't returned to Italy since." She shrugged, a little embarrassed, and shivered. Partly due to the cold, maybe more because he was so close to her. "That was almost five years ago. I never took another lover." She looked up at him through heavy lidded eyes. "Not until you..."

The air was heavy between them. She wanted him to touch her, but she didn't want to scare him.