Submissive/Slave Haven

[HottieMama]

This is really the hardest feeling in the world. Not just in this community but in all communities... when a relationship ends and you don't see it coming.

I'm trying to figure out now how to get through a relationship ending and I feel so lost and confused.

i have a really bad cold right now and am headed to bed...but PM me if you want to talk. just went through this two weeks ago...and as many here can tell you i am still struggling.

 

[HottieMama]

Just throwing this out there for all my fellow subbie sisters.

i belong to a private Yahoo group just for sub. women. There's about 15 of us, and it's a pretty great place. Only women...in all stages of relationships... If anyone would like to join, PM me and i'll give you the link. (i'm not posting it in public because of privacy.)

 

[CutieMouse]

One week from this moment, I will be going through customs in the DR.

(This has been the most freaking surreal month of my Life...)

 

[DVS]

One week from this moment, I will be going through customs in the DR.

(This has been the most freaking surreal month of my Life...)

You'll think surreal...did you know, with the recent terrorist scares in London...all customs agents are now doing forced body cavity searches? Just thought you should know, so you can be sure to wear some pretty panties.

 

[CutieMouse]

You'll think surreal...did you know, with the recent terrorist scares in London...all customs agents are now doing forced body cavity searches? Just thought you should know, so you can be sure to wear some pretty panties.

*mentally considers adjusting her wardrobe decision... nah.*

 

[HottieMama]

**giggles**

 

[callinectes]

*mentally considers adjusting her wardrobe decision... nah.*

ohhh, speaking of wardrobe decisions...Have you spent the last 2 weeks trying on outfits and packing or are you a woman who knows exactly what she wants to take and doesn't agonize over it?

Me..I'd be a basket case trying to find two weeks worth of outfits that I thought I looked really good in.

 

[CutieMouse]

I'm suddenly feeling a leeeeeeeeeetle overwhelmed.

 

[CutieMouse]

ohhh, speaking of wardrobe decisions...Have you spent the last 2 weeks trying on outfits and packing or are you a woman who knows exactly what she wants to take and doesn't agonize over it?

Me..I'd be a basket case trying to find two weeks worth of outfits that I thought I looked really good in.

Actually, he's told me I need 1 nice dress for going out to dinner (I'll take 2), and other than that only a few days worth of clothes, and a swimsuit for the beach, because the housekeeper does laundry everyday, anyway. I'm wlecome to burn any flats I own, and bring as many heels as I like. LOL

I'm such a list person... I'll probably take a week's worth of things, but the only list I've made is a lingerie list, because my 40s slips and things are like my portable blankies that help me feel me.

(The concept of a full time housekeeper and yard boy, plus PT staff of 3, is a bit out there for me... says the woman who ran a large household for over a decade, without much help. LOL)

 

[CutieMouse]

Here's an interesting question...

So in the realm of power-females, recognizing there is no actual need to "measure up", yet having moments of "ohh.... holy shit.... and you want *me?", how does one avoid feeling like this whole submission/purpose being that of companion, etc to one's Lover, doesn't quite measure up to what one is supposed to be as a 21st century woman?

(my head hurts...)

 

[callinectes]

Actually, he's told me I need 1 nice dress for going out to dinner (I'll take 2), and other than that only a few days worth of clothes, and a swimsuit for the beach, because the housekeeper does laundry everyday, anyway. I'm wlecome to burn any flats I own, and bring as many heels as I like. LOL

I'm such a list person... I'll probably take a week's worth of things, but the only list I've made is a lingerie list, because my 40s slips and things are like my portable blankies that help me feel me.

(The concept of a full time housekeeper and yard boy, plus PT staff of 3, is a bit out there for me... says the woman who ran a large household for over a decade, without much help. LOL)

Sounds as though you have the attire under control.

A FT housekeeper, yard boy and PT help? And Mr. Soundsfabulous? You have obviously collected some good karma in your life.

 

[JupitersGirl]

Here's an interesting question...

So in the realm of power-females, recognizing there is no actual need to "measure up", yet having moments of "ohh.... holy shit.... and you want *me?", how does one avoid feeling like this whole submission/purpose being that of companion, etc to one's Lover, doesn't quite measure up to what one is supposed to be as a 21st century woman?

(my head hurts...)

Think about it like this ...

Would you rather be his 21st centry woman?

Or his submissive companion?

I know what my answer would be...

 

[wenchhh]

CM, I know EXACTLY what you mean. I swear, my head does this little conscience thing, ala 70s cartoons, devil on one shoulder angel on the other... every time I was given a prompt and did it willingly, quickly and as humbly as possible. (good girl) "yes, Sir, as you wish, Sir" (bad , 21st century woman) "WTF, are your LEGS broken? Hit me again, Mother f'er and I'll break your arm"..... tee hee. I'm not kidding. I think that is what some of the better doms find so delightful about their loyal, obedient, intelligent, strong minded but still... submissives. That we just can't HELP ourselves. I feel for ya girl. Just add it to the "mind fuck " experience, and let it roll off your back, is my advice. Of course, it's pretty Bold of me, a very inexperienced sub, to be offering advice to you, the "Cream of the crop". I'm excited for you, I hope you BASK in the glory of your experience. (AND FOR GODS SAKE, TAKE PICTURES!!!)

Here's an interesting question...

So in the realm of power-females, recognizing there is no actual need to "measure up", yet having moments of "ohh.... holy shit.... and you want *me?", how does one avoid feeling like this whole submission/purpose being that of companion, etc to one's Lover, doesn't quite measure up to what one is supposed to be as a 21st century woman?

(my head hurts...)

 

[callinectes]

Here's an interesting question...

So in the realm of power-females, recognizing there is no actual need to "measure up", yet having moments of "ohh.... holy shit.... and you want *me?", how does one avoid feeling like this whole submission/purpose being that of companion, etc to one's Lover, doesn't quite measure up to what one is supposed to be as a 21st century woman?

(my head hurts...)

My non-articulate post-fireworks late night response...

What exactly is a 21st century woman supposed to be?

IMHO, the women that fought for our rights, choices, and opportunities wanted us to be free to be what we want to be. I know driven corporate women still look down their noses at SAHMs and SAHMs think working women are neglecting their families but I think that all stems from insecurity and some guilt because we *think* we need to fill so many different roles.

If we are truly liberated, then we are supposed to be what makes us happy. Whatever that is.

 

[CutieMouse]

Sounds as though you have the attire under control.

A FT housekeeper, yard boy and PT help? And Mr. Soundsfabulous? You have obviously collected some good karma in your life.

Right now I'm kind of sort of hyperventilating... LOL

 

[callinectes]

Right now I'm kind of sort of hyperventilating... LOL

I find that hard to believe. You ooze grace and poise.

 

[CutieMouse]

I want to be me... and me (so far), I mean the really real me, fits quite well in the little nooks and crannies of how he envisions life.

The discomfort is the realization that the pattern of women in his life are thus:

Mom is powerful
Sister is high up corporate somethingorother
Sister's partner is major big deal attorney
Ex-wife is defending her doctoral dissertation in social work
Right-hand woman/business partner type person is a single mom, plus works for him, plus teaches at the University
Former lovers were all lawyers, upper management, powerful successful women

I asked him tonight why the hell he wants (dirt broke nothing to show for life but her integirty and brains) ME, when he can have THAT- gorgeous, brilliant, accomplished women.

He said he's BTDT, and doesn't want it anymore. He wants me- sweet, smart, nurturing, thinks he's more important than the corporate ladder, willing to trust him to keep me safe, beautiful, kinky me. Which is exactly the right thing to say... but the idea of having dinner with my adorable irreverent asshole and any of the other women in his life, leaves me with the same deer in the headlights feeling I get when women find out I gave my ex primary custody of the kids. Women aren't supposed to DO the things I have chosen to do, or live the life I seek. LOL

 

[Evil_Geoff]

...all customs agents are now doing forced body cavity searches? Just thought you should know, so you can be sure to wear some pretty panties.

Uhhhh... if they are doing forced body cavity searches... I'd recommend not wearing ANY undies!

D'oh!

And where do I sign up to work for Customs? ? ?

 

[callinectes]

I want to be me... and me (so far), I mean the really real me, fits quite well in the little nooks and crannies of how he envisions life.

The discomfort is the realization that the pattern of women in his life are thus:

Mom is powerful
Sister is high up corporate somethingorother
Sister's partner is major big deal attorney
Ex-wife is defending her doctoral dissertation in social work
Right-hand woman/business partner type person is a single mom, plus works for him, plus teaches at the University
Former lovers were all lawyers, upper management, powerful successful women

I asked him tonight why the hell he wants (dirt broke nothing to show for life but her integirty and brains) ME, when he can have THAT- gorgeous, brilliant, accomplished women.

He said he's BTDT, and doesn't want it anymore. He wants me- sweet, smart, nurturing, thinks he's more important than the corporate ladder, willing to trust him to keep me safe, beautiful, kinky me. Which is exactly the right thing to say... but the idea of having dinner with my adorable irreverent asshole and any of the other women in his life, leaves me with the same deer in the headlights feeling I get when women find out I gave my ex primary custody of the kids. Women aren't supposed to DO the things I have chosen to do, or live the life I seek. LOL

I know you already know this but I'll be redundant for effect..

-You could do any of those things if you chose to. (Note the choice thing again)

-You gave your ex primary custody because you felt it was in the best interest of the children. That takes a helluva lot more strength of character then retaining physical custody because you are supposed to.

- intellectually, you can more than keep up with mom, sis, ex's

- note the ex girlfriends are indeed ex. for a reason!

- in the end, what everyone else thinks is a crock, it boils down to you and him

 

[CutieMouse]

I know you already know this but I'll be redundant for effect..

-You could do any of those things if you chose to. (Note the choice thing again)

-You gave your ex primary custody because you felt it was in the best interest of the children. That takes a helluva lot more strength of character then retaining physical custody because you are supposed to.

- intellectually, you can more than keep up with mom, sis, ex's

- note the ex girlfriends are indeed ex. for a reason!

- in the end, what everyone else thinks is a crock, it boils down to you and him

Thank you.

(My roommate/best friend is out of town, or else she'd be handing me a pint of Ben & Jerry's and saying the same damned thing. LOL)

 

[littleone77]

Here you go CM.

http://www.hostpic.biz/uploads/e5100ae997.gif​

We all have these concerns sometimes. Especially when our respective lifestyles are so different from our Other's. El_C and I had this most vocal discussion on the costs of clothing. *rolls eyes*

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Uhhhh... if they are doing forced body cavity searches... I'd recommend not wearing ANY undies!

D'oh!

And where do I sign up to work for Customs? ? ?

You can apply here

 

[catalina_francisco]

I want to be me... and me (so far), I mean the really real me, fits quite well in the little nooks and crannies of how he envisions life.

The discomfort is the realization that the pattern of women in his life are thus:

Mom is powerful
Sister is high up corporate somethingorother
Sister's partner is major big deal attorney
Ex-wife is defending her doctoral dissertation in social work
Right-hand woman/business partner type person is a single mom, plus works for him, plus teaches at the University
Former lovers were all lawyers, upper management, powerful successful women

I asked him tonight why the hell he wants (dirt broke nothing to show for life but her integirty and brains) ME, when he can have THAT- gorgeous, brilliant, accomplished women.

He said he's BTDT, and doesn't want it anymore. He wants me- sweet, smart, nurturing, thinks he's more important than the corporate ladder, willing to trust him to keep me safe, beautiful, kinky me. Which is exactly the right thing to say... but the idea of having dinner with my adorable irreverent asshole and any of the other women in his life, leaves me with the same deer in the headlights feeling I get when women find out I gave my ex primary custody of the kids. Women aren't supposed to DO the things I have chosen to do, or live the life I seek. LOL

Bah, women SHOULDN'T be supposed to do anything other than what is right for them, stuff what Ms Perfect thinks is the ideal....that is her ideal, not yours or mine and maybe not even her own except she buys into 'this is what a woman is supposed to do' line. As to other reasons why he has chosen to seriously think about you as a life partner, hmm, he doesn't want to fuck or live with his mother, sister, sister's partner, business partner, former lovers, and obviously not his ex-wife....they all have one thing in common, power mindsets....he wants a submissive who is not an airhead, but also does not feel the need to prove to anyone she has beauty and brains (hey all those other women might be butt ugly too!!), one who is strong (obviously strong enough to walk her own path, not be a sheep), and one who wants to make him her number one priority, and to have the time to give to him that it will require. He wants someone to submit to him, not finance his retirement, and he wants someone who has her own power to give over to him through her strength to submit.

Catalina

 

[CutieMouse]

Thank you for the ice cream, Littleone (I grabbed a pint on the way home from errands, today LOL).

And thank you Cat... like I said last night- I was just hyperventilating a bit (a lot). As thankful as I am for the feminist movement, living in a post-feminist world isn't nearly as easy as it should be. LOL

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thank you for the ice cream, Littleone (I grabbed a pint on the way home from errands, today LOL).

And thank you Cat... like I said last night- I was just hyperventilating a bit (a lot). As thankful as I am for the feminist movement, living in a post-feminist world isn't nearly as easy as it should be. LOL

LOL, partly true, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Without feminism we would not even be free to pursue this type relationship, be open to the world about it, or feel the freedom to determine our own destiny whatever it may be....just a lot of supposed feminists never got or remember the message it is about choice by the individual, not by women who place themselves above the rest and feel it their duty to tell the rest of us what we can and can't do...may as well bring back patriarchal rule if we are still going to be subjective to what someone else decides is best for us.

Catalina