Submissive/Slave Haven

[Chris_Xavier]

Just like I cherish the idea of owning someone in that way too..

It is definitely a two way thing here..

Sorry if I am trespassing in this thread.. lol..

You're not the only PYL to post in here.. we do try to keep it to a minimum though.


And since I've gone ahead and stuck my foot in the door..

To be owned (or to own) just for the sake of having check mark on that particular list item.. hmmm.. I do like to have some sort of mental or physical attraction (scratch that, physical looks are subject to change) to the person I'm in a relationship with.

 

[naxalite0906]

You're not the only PYL to post in here.. we do try to keep it to a minimum though.


And since I've gone ahead and stuck my foot in the door..

To be owned (or to own) just for the sake of having check mark on that particular list item.. hmmm.. I do like to have some sort of mental or physical attraction (scratch that, physical looks are subject to change) to the person I'm in a relationship with.

Of course.. that does go without saying... but actually being able to collar someone as yours after the relationship has developed is a wonderful thing.. To me that means more than marriage in some respects.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Of course.. that does go without saying... but actually being able to collar someone as yours after the relationship has developed is a wonderful thing.. To me that means more than marriage in some respects.

Okay.. I'll go along w/ that. I must've misread a previous post.

 

[naxalite0906]

Okay.. I'll go along w/ that. I must've misread a previous post.

Maybe more elaboration was needed from somewhere.. but we got there in the end

 

[Velvet Bubbles]

HottieMama - I don't see it as being "owned". (I have issues with the whole "slave" thing. I know it works for others. Just not me.) I view it as being very much controlled. Being super submissive. I just enjoy the thought of giving myself that completely to him. I guess it's the point that I'm giving him that. That I still have a choice. Even if it's the giving up of having choices for a while. I'll have to think about this more. Perhaps I'm still coming to terms with the life I've chosen. <shrugs>
Naxalite - Trespass away. LOL I love having opinions from both Tops & bottoms (of whatever sort). We consider ourselves good as married. How could a piece of paper bind us any more together than we already are? I cherish being able to invent new ways to give myself to Him further. It really pleased him when I found a way to do this for Him. I think He's looking forward to locking me in it just as much as I'm looking forward to him doing it.

 

[littleone77]

I just...

This is going to sound wrong but I can't help that...Something no normal person would want?

*small sighs* We all try so hard to come to grips with our true selves and our individual needs, whatever they may be. Acceptance of ourselves is hard, finding someone to love is harder and the hardest thing ever is to find friends who accept it.

So when I see the word normal used against the bdsm lifestyle, any alternate lifestyle or aspect of it I want to scream and cry all at the same time. I am normal damn it. It may not be the general accepted term of it. But I am normal. Yes I want to be owned, yes some pretty odd things arouse me, yes I want to call a man almost twive my age Daddy but I am normal. The word normal doesn't exist in my dictionary.

What does exist is the belief not to pass judgement or label.

 

[Velvet Bubbles]

I agree. Normal isn't really the best word to use. I was merely defining my internal struggle the best way I could. I was in no way referring to anyone else.

 

[littleone77]

Perhaps an internal struggle of that nature comes from preconceived notions of normalacy?

Be who you are and that is what normal is.

 

[Velvet Bubbles]

Preconcieved ideas? Oh yes. That would be an understatement. I'm working on that other part.

 

[BiBunny]

I think in order for anyone--kinky, vanilla, or somewhere in between--to keep from going insane, we have to come to a point where we really don't give a flying fuck what other people think about us. You can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself.

In my undergrad social psych class, the instructor gave us a lecture about cognitive dissonance. She more or less said that in order to ease cognitive dissonance, we have to either change our beliefs about a behavior, or change the behavior. If the behavior is a big part of who we are, it's easier to change our beliefs. One day, you just get to a point where you can accept yourself for who you are, and, honestly, it's easier to get to that point if you don't overthink it and you don't fight it.

 

[littleone77]

One more thing before I go away again....

I first came to this thread because of it's title..."Submissive/Slave Haven".

Maybe its just me, and no this isn't related to my earlier post, but of late this thread has turned into a discussion of bdsm in general in which both sides post. I am all for it, but couldn't we do that some place else please?

I liked how this place was when I first came here. Some place where it was safe to be "subish" without a Domish over tone. We were all on the same side of the crop then~

 

[HottieMama]

i kinda agree with littleone on some level. This is supposed to be our "safe place."

Perhaps i have felt more of a need for that recently with all of the seemingly random "sub bashing" going on on other threads here. Seriously, WTF is up with that? And why are there no threads in which subs are openly criticizing those that claim to be Doms?

Seriously, if i see one more thread that basically equates to "Why most subs are assholes" i am going to just scream.

 

[BiBunny]

Now I wonder if I really belong here, either. Shitty thing about being a switch--people always think you're a fence-sitter, no matter what.

 

[naxalite0906]

i kinda agree with littleone on some level. This is supposed to be our "safe place."

Perhaps i have felt more of a need for that recently with all of the seemingly random "sub bashing" going on on other threads here. Seriously, WTF is up with that? And why are there no threads in which subs are openly criticizing those that claim to be Doms?

Seriously, if i see one more thread that basically equates to "Why most subs are assholes" i am going to just scream.

All this comes up just after I stopped by.... I thought I may be trespassing.

All of the subs I have met on lit or read posts by in this thread are wonderful people. Please do not think of yourselves as anything else.

 

[HottieMama]

All this comes up just after I stopped by.... I thought I may be trespassing.

All of the subs I have met on lit or read posts by in this thread are wonderful people. Please do not think of yourselves as anything else.

Nax...my post has been building for days, and after seeing some responses in another thread i couldn't contain my anger anymore.

Nothing personal.

 

[sexycaz22]

Just popping in to say Hi to everyone, and hopes everyone are well.

HottieMama, I do know how you feel about threads talking about "openly criticizing" subs. Normally, I just simply ignore it, but if it goes on and on, then I will say something!

Hope you are calm now, and that everything is well with you and LC (am I correct in thinking that LC is someone who posts on here occasionally?)

Caz

 

[HottieMama]

Just popping in to say Hi to everyone, and hopes everyone are well.

HottieMama, I do know how you feel about threads talking about "openly criticizing" subs. Normally, I just simply ignore it, but if it goes on and on, then I will say something!

Hope you are calm now, and that everything is well with you and LC (am I correct in thinking that LC is someone who posts on here occasionally?)

Caz

i'm glad that i am not the only one that has noticed the threads. i am calm, never wasn't. i can be angry about something i feel is unfair and still be calm about life in general.

Things are wonderful between LC and i. i could not wish to have a more wonderful person in my life. i got very lucky when we became friends, which eventually led to where we are now. Yes, you are correct that he posts here occasionally. (We've both been posting a bit less than normal recently...i think we both have something else to occupy our time most days. **giggle**)

 

[Velvet Bubbles]

.. I think we both have something else to occupy our time most days.

Lucky you.

 

[intothewoods]

I'm not sure if I know exactly the thread y'all are talking about, first of all, though there was one not too long ago that I thought wasn't too thinly veiled. I put in my two cents, I think, but it wasn't aimed at anyone in particular.

Putting that aside, I have to say though I don't feel that anyone on the bdsm boards here is a bad person or anything similarly dramatic, I don't have a problem saying when I think certain decisions or behaviors are unhealthy. And I include my own behavior in that! I fuck up all the time. And who am I to judge? No one in particular. I just think that it's a good thing to talk about why we are attracted to certain people, whether a decision is healthy or not, that kind of thing. I like to learn from my own history.

 

[intothewoods]

Oh, I also would prefer if this thread were more often than not, subs/bottoms/sometimes sub/bottoms only (that includes you, Bunny). And I don't mean that as an offense to any PYLs that have posted. It's just nice to have a "haven" of sorts - as much as any public thread on a public board can be a haven.

 

[sexycaz22]

i'm glad that i am not the only one that has noticed the threads. i am calm, never wasn't. i can be angry about something i feel is unfair and still be calm about life in general.

I hope I didn't offend you when I enquired about the calm thing, I didn't mean to say that you were never calm, but I do know what you mean about being calm in generally in life, and I am glad.

Things are wonderful between LC and i. i could not wish to have a more wonderful person in my life. i got very lucky when we became friends, which eventually led to where we are now. Yes, you are correct that he posts here occasionally. (We've both been posting a bit less than normal recently...i think we both have something else to occupy our time most days. **giggle**)

Ohhh..... I am so happy for you, to hear that things are going well between you and LC, even if I am a little jealous!

Caz

 

[sexycaz22]

Oh, I also would prefer if this thread were more often than not, subs/bottoms/sometimes sub/bottoms only (that includes you, Bunny). And I don't mean that as an offense to any PYLs that have posted. It's just nice to have a "haven" of sorts - as much as any public thread on a public board can be a haven.

Yes, I have to agree, with you there.... I mean, it's no trouble if PYLs do post occasionally, would be nice if we kept it to a low number of times....if you do know what I mean!

Caz

 

[HottieMama]

I'm not sure if I know exactly the thread y'all are talking about, first of all, though there was one not too long ago that I thought wasn't too thinly veiled. I put in my two cents, I think, but it wasn't aimed at anyone in particular.

Putting that aside, I have to say though I don't feel that anyone on the bdsm boards here is a bad person or anything similarly dramatic, I don't have a problem saying when I think certain decisions or behaviors are unhealthy. And I include my own behavior in that! I fuck up all the time. And who am I to judge? No one in particular. I just think that it's a good thing to talk about why we are attracted to certain people, whether a decision is healthy or not, that kind of thing. I like to learn from my own history.

ITW...we are referring to the same thread (though there are 3 i can point out quickly that fit the description.) and it took everything i had not to say something. Unlike you, i have a tendency to "spout off" and not be concerned about sounding polite or lady-like. Also, given some recent "behind the scenes" events, perhaps i am taking certain things personally.

Either way the "sub-bashing" to me is unfair because i certainly don't see threads around here bashing Doms...not all of whom are perfect or frankly even respectable. It's way to easy for the Doms to sit there and point the finger, and i think if the subs did it we would be flamed, and/or shunned. (Again, just my opinion.)

 

[HottieMama]

Lucky you.

Velvet...i didn't mean that as a smart-ass comment. Both mine and LC's online time is limited some days, and quite frankly i would rather talk to him than anyone else in the world...

 

[RawHumor]

Either way the "sub-bashing" to me is unfair because i certainly don't see threads around here bashing Doms...not all of whom are perfect or frankly even respectable. It's way to easy for the Doms to sit there and point the finger, and i think if the subs did it we would be flamed, and/or shunned. (Again, just my opinion.)

I'm not sure of the thread you're referring to (it may have been one of my own)... but I'd like to think that you wouldn't be bashed here for speaking your mind in any thread.

I'm pretty much on the record for my belief that a submissive's opinion is every bit as valid as that of a dominant (with some obvious exceptions... in a scene or whatever) as a general rule.