Submissive/Slave Haven

[intothewoods]

At odds with Pyl, he's pulling rank and tightening screwshttp://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o180/onesilentfeather/1164160182_yinginside.gif i obeyed but i having trouble surrendering and he knows it which is making him angry and frustrated.....

pet

Sorry, pet.

 

[verboten_dame]

Hey all.
I joined the Lit forums recently (Yesterday!) on my 18th birthday.

I've known for years that I was submissive, however my ex-boyfriends were always too "nice".. As an 18th birthday present, a long-time friend of mine (and man that I have been in love with for years) became what I had been looking for-- my first Master.

I'm not sure how much of the story I can tell, so I'll leave it at that for now... I don't want to get punished for saying too much of our story! (The list is already long enough! I have so much to learn...)

 

[CutieMouse]

Hey all.
I joined the Lit forums recently (Yesterday!) on my 18th birthday.

I've known for years that I was submissive, however my ex-boyfriends were always too "nice".. As an 18th birthday present, a long-time friend of mine (and man that I have been in love with for years) became what I had been looking for-- my first Master.

I'm not sure how much of the story I can tell, so I'll leave it at that for now... I don't want to get punished for saying too much of our story! (The list is already long enough! I have so much to learn...)

Welcome to the thread, Verboten. So what have you been learning so far?

 

[verboten_dame]

Welcome to the thread, Verboten. So what have you been learning so far?

Thanks!

Well, right now he's teaching me what I can and can't do without asking him... That my understanding is at his leisure, and that I must trust him in what he says, and not question his reasons... That I must earn the things I want from him, that I will be punished for bad behavior and rewarded for good behavior.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Welcome vb..

I have to say the name shows creativity on your part.

Enjoy your adventures!

 

[CutieMouse]

Thanks!

Well, right now he's teaching me what I can and can't do without asking him... That my understanding is at his leisure, and that I must trust him in what he says, and not question his reasons... That I must earn the things I want from him, that I will be punished for bad behavior and rewarded for good behavior.

Will you hate me if I suggest you read a few books (or ask permission to do so if that's your dynamic)? LOL

Nothing personal; I always suggest people self-educate as much as possible, and use their reading as a springboard to (usually fascinating) conversations with their Lover.

 

[Velvet Bubbles]

Welcome, Verboten. Your name intrigues me.

 

[verboten_dame]

Welcome vb..

I have to say the name shows creativity on your part.

Enjoy your adventures!

Thank you! It was suggested by my master, actually... (for more information, see here... )

Will you hate me if I suggest you read a few books (or ask permission to do so if that's your dynamic)? LOL

Nothing personal; I always suggest people self-educate as much as possible, and use their reading as a springboard to (usually fascinating) conversations with their Lover.

I don't think I could hate you for that ;p

Though I can't promise I'll read them-- But I would certainly at least look them up!

Welcome, Verboten. Your name intrigues me.

Thank you, Velvet... Your sig intrigues me. Do you swordfight?

 

[DVS]

Will you hate me if I suggest you read a few books (or ask permission to do so if that's your dynamic)? LOL

Nothing personal; I always suggest people self-educate as much as possible, and use their reading as a springboard to (usually fascinating) conversations with their Lover.

I agree. It's always a good thing to have more than one source for your information. Not everybody feels the same way about things, so the more you know, the better your overall perspective will be. Read about the many different ways you can be submissive. Being a good submissive can also help your boyfriend to be a better Dom.

You should read about setting limits (both soft and hard) and safe words. And also read about safe, sane and consentual relationships (SS&C). The more you know, the more interesting your time with your Dom will be. And safer, too.

 

[CutieMouse]

The New Bottoming Book by Janet W. Hardey & Dossie Easton - good starter guide that will cover how to explore things safely, quick read.

The Loving Dominant by John Warren - yes it's a book geared towards dominant-types, but IMO it's quite educational to see how both parties in a D/s relationship experience things, the work involved, etc.

Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely by Bill Henkin - I found this one a bit boring, but it has a good glossary/good basic information that should help one keep their wits about them.

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillip Miller - I've never read it, but it comes up *frequently* as a great intro to BDSM book.

Link to the BDSM Library

Jack Rinella & Jay Wiseman's names also appear frequently as persons who tend to know their stuff (although I've known people who disagree with Wiseman); hopefully Evil_Geoff will drop by with a list from his personal library, as he has one of the better one's I've seen.

Though I can't promise I'll read them-- But I would certainly at least look them up!

I do understand the desire to trust your Lover as a primary source of information, and it's good that you trust him so much, but *nothing* (not even being a submissive), gets you out of being responsible for your own safety - emotional, mental, and physical - as you take your first steps into BDSM.

Personally, I'd laugh at a man who said my understanding was at his leisure, or to not question him, but I have a feeling my dynamic isn't your dynamic...

I do wish you much happiness as you explore.

 

[verboten_dame]

I'll take my time and consider those books-- Personal money is, well, virtually nonexistent at the moment... Thank you for the recommendations though, hopefully I can pick at least *one* up soon.

I've also been reading through the library =) It's a great source!

I do understand the desire to trust your Lover as a primary source of information, and it's good that you trust him so much, but *nothing* (not even being a submissive), gets you out of being responsible for your own safety - emotional, mental, and physical - as you take your first steps into BDSM.

I know

 

[CutieMouse]

I'll take my time and consider those books-- Personal money is, well, virtually nonexistent at the moment... Thank you for the recommendations though, hopefully I can pick at least *one* up soon.

I've also been reading through the library =) It's a great source!

The Library and board members are great (Free! Yay for free!) resources. Most of the books I mentioned can be found used for $10 or less (I think the most I ever paid for one of my kink books was $12); www.fetchbook.info will give you the lowest online price if you type a title in the search box. Every once in a while you'll find them at used bookshops (like Half Price Books... I love Half Price Books), when someone (*cough cough*) decides to part with their personal kink library, as it is no longer needed.

 

[Velvet Bubbles]

Thank you, Velvet. Your sig intrigues me. Do you swordfight?

Yes, actually, I do. I fence (medieval style - not modern). Do you know any style?

 

[verboten_dame]

Yes, actually, I do. I fence (medieval style - not modern). Do you know any style?

I did some fencing last year, and I'm hopefully going to take it up again this year. I learned mostly basic foiling, though some of the people I was taking classes with preferred saber and epee, so I did a little bit of both of those, as well. I was a "natural" I guess you could say (I have the ability to stay in awkward positions for extended periods of time and I have swift feet, both attributes gained from lots of field hockey and horseback riding.) but I only took lessons for about 6 months.

I'm hoping to join the fencing club at my college next year, and learn some more-- I miss it!

(I also have an insane fascination with medieval sword and daggers. I live in NYC and love going to the Met to go to the "Arms and Armor" exhibit and draw the pretty weapons/stare at them. Japanese katanas and other swords are fascinating as well. Armor I'm not *as* into, but it's interesting.)

 

[intothewoods]

I had my punishment scene tonight. It was really cathartic, and my tush is nice and glowy. Ahhhhhhhhh....

 

[the_pet]

At odds with Pyl, he's pulling rank and tightening screwshttp://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o180/onesilentfeather/1164160182_yinginside.gif i obeyed but i having trouble surrendering and he knows it which is making him angry and frustrated.....

pet

i finally stopped resisting and surrendered today

 

[intothewoods]

i finally stopped resisting and surrendered today

are you okay?

 

[the_pet]

are you okay?

Better today thank you! I suppose i'm hard to handle sometime.... thanks for asking

 

[Brandii]

I'm having a great deal of difficulty sorting the HNG's on collarme.com from the real Doms. Australian Doms seem to be as impatient to *get things underway* as any other Australian male. I recieved 10 contacts from different men claiming to be Doms in the first week and I narrowed them down to two, but in actual fact, I don't think I can pick a real Dom from a HNG using only an online conversation. I threw one out because he couldn't supply me with personal references from people who knew him. He told me he was a loner and didn't mix within the bdsm scene. There is one guy I might meet [in a public place as suggested.] This is all going to have to be by trail and error for a while as I don't think I'd know a real life Dom if he bit me on the arse. I think it will be more in what they do and how they treat me than what they say.

 

[intothewoods]

I'm having a great deal of difficulty sorting the HNG's on collarme.com from the real Doms. Australian Doms seem to be as impatient to *get things underway* as any other Australian male. I recieved 10 contacts from different men claiming to be Doms in the first week and I narrowed them down to two, but in actual fact, I don't think I can pick a real Dom from a HNG using only an online conversation. I threw one out because he couldn't supply me with personal references from people who knew him. He told me he was a loner and didn't mix within the bdsm scene. There is one guy I might meet [in a public place as suggested.] This is all going to have to be by trail and error for a while as I don't think I'd know a real life Dom if he bit me on the arse. I think it will be more in what they do and how they treat me than what they say.

I'm convinced most of the men on collarme are HNGs.

 

[CutieMouse]

I'm convinced most of the men on collarme are HNGs.

Yup. Out of more than 200 responses to my ad, I think maybe 5 caught my attention as being more interested in a D/s relationship, than posturing... but I had a really narrow set of parameters, so I'm willing to believe there were another 20 or so that might not have been HNGs.

 

[intothewoods]

Yup. Out of more than 200 responses to my ad, I think maybe 5 caught my attention as being more interested in a D/s relationship, than posturing... but I had a really narrow set of parameters, so I'm willing to believe there were another 20 or so that might not have been HNGs.

Heh. I also had a narrow set of parameters. I was looking for friends and casual play partners. And yet I still get emails like, are you looking for something serious? Umm, can you read?

I probably got around the same number of responses, and I'd say like 10 or 15 were for real. I just wasn't interested in most of them.

And btw - here's why I think I'm screwed in the scene. Maybe this will change, but I can't really deal with anyone who takes themselves too seriously. And that is like almost all Doms in the scene.

In fact, there is only ONE guy I have met who doesn't annoy me at some level with either drippy romantic empty platitudes or constant negotiation. Hence he's my regular.

 

[saw_man1]

Wow

I did not realize that I had made it to the final 5!
I guess I'm better than I thought.

Yup. Out of more than 200 responses to my ad, I think maybe 5 caught my attention as being more interested in a D/s relationship, than posturing... but I had a really narrow set of parameters, so I'm willing to believe there were another 20 or so that might not have been HNGs.

 

[intothewoods]

I did not realize that I had made it to the final 5!
I guess I'm better than I thought.

Um, is that actually your body? If so, you can be in my top 5!

 

[HottieMama]

but I can't really deal with anyone who takes themselves too seriously. (Major snip)

i SO agree with you on this. i really wonder when it stopped being fun for some people...because you can't possibly be having fun if you're THAT fucking uptight.