Submissive/Slave Haven

[CutieMouse]

I did not realize that I had made it to the final 5!
I guess I'm better than I thought.

I will always remember Paris... and the bunny slippers.

*sniffle*

 

[CutieMouse]

And btw - here's why I think I'm screwed in the scene. Maybe this will change, but I can't really deal with anyone who takes themselves too seriously. And that is like almost all Doms in the scene.

In fact, there is only ONE guy I have met who doesn't annoy me at some level with either drippy romantic empty platitudes or constant negotiation. Hence he's my regular.

Nah - it just means when you do find the right guy, it'll be all that much better.

 

[saw_man1]

Psst

I'll tell you a little secret.
That is actually a picture of our own sexy little bibliophile before she had her gender reassignment surgery!
Since she doesn't need them any more she lets me use her old pics.

Um, is that actually your body? If so, you can be in my top 5!

 

[CutieMouse]

I'll tell you a little secret.
That is actually a picture of our own sexy little bibliophile before she had her gender reassignment surgery!
Since she doesn't need them any more she lets me use her old pics.

You ass....









(*falling out of my chair with laughter*)

 

[intothewoods]

I'll tell you a little secret.
That is actually a picture of our own sexy little bibliophile before she had her gender reassignment surgery!
Since she doesn't need them any more she lets me use her old pics.

that is so sweet of her!

 

[SubKekiLee]

I was lucky

I was very blessed I didnt have to use Collarme or Alt.com to find mine I found him on Craigslist of all places and GUESS what he is upstanding person with a HUGE heart although I made him mad yesterday when he came over I didnt complete my duties and he was mad gave me a good spanking on my kitty... and denied me for a couple of hours.. but you can look on Craigslist you might find something you might like..

 

[intothewoods]

Nah - it just means when you do find the right guy, it'll be all that much better.

Thanks, Cutie.

 

[timaea]

any suggestions for a very inexperienced sub to prepare herself for coping with pain? i thought this would be the place to ask...

 

[CutieMouse]

any suggestions for a very inexperienced sub to prepare herself for coping with pain? i thought this would be the place to ask...

What kind of pain, and is the person inflicting said sensation experienced with delivering pain?

*side note:

Just because one identifies as submissive, doesn't mean one needs to identify as masochistic (enjoying pain). It is possible to be submissive without doing the pain thing at all.

 

[HottieMama]

any suggestions for a very inexperienced sub to prepare herself for coping with pain? i thought this would be the place to ask...

This is a hard one to answer. Pain just for the sake of pain does absolutely nothing for me. The joy/release/satisfaction, i get from it comes for being in the head-space of pleasing someone else. Then it is about the commitment i have in my head of doing the best i can for them, pushing through the uncomfortable part, and eventually achieving that release.

It's all about your frame of mind going into it....IMHO.

 

[CutieMouse]

A slow warm up to sensation is also a lot easier to deal with, than striking hard from the very first blow. Breathing helps - deep slow breaths, and focusing on an image, mantra, or spot on the wall. A lot of it is mental, though, really.

 

[northwoods_sub]

any suggestions for a very inexperienced sub to prepare herself for coping with pain? i thought this would be the place to ask...

For me I need to find the center within myself and the pain goes there. I just absorb it and brings me closer the the eventual release. Though that is the masochist in me talking. lol

 

[intothewoods]

any suggestions for a very inexperienced sub to prepare herself for coping with pain? i thought this would be the place to ask...

For me, being warmed up is essential....and a blindfold helps. And a gag to stop the screaming. Kidding, kidding on the last part!

 

[intothewoods]

A slow warm up to sensation is also a lot easier to deal with, than striking hard from the very first blow. Breathing helps - deep slow breaths, and focusing on an image, mantra, or spot on the wall. A lot of it is mental, though, really.

Oh, you did mention the warm up! Oops. Need more coffee...

 

[CutieMouse]

For me, being warmed up is essential....and a blindfold helps. And a gag to stop the screaming. Kidding, kidding on the last part!

If I get in the right head space, hearing him whisper that the next strike is going to be really hard, but he wants me to be a good girl and not make a sound... yeah that kinda sorta really works.

[grumblemumblestupidoceansstupiddistacnestupidislandstupidresponsibilitythingiesgrumblemumble]

 

[WriterDom]

Yes, think of the warm up as foreplay.

 

[intothewoods]

If I get in the right head space, hearing him whisper that the next strike is going to be really hard, but he wants me to be a good girl and not make a sound... yeah that kinda sorta really works.

[grumblemumblestupidoceansstupiddistacnestupidislandstupidresponsibilitythingiesgrumblemumble]

Heh heh. That's hawt.

Last night I had a sort of playful session, and he smacked me on the ass and asked, is this where X smacked you? Is it sore? I DON'T CARE!

And he smacked me again. Heh heh.

Also, may I add - hands on the throat? Light squeeze? Ohmyfuckinggawdthatisthehawtestthingevahhhhh!

 

[CutieMouse]

Heh heh. That's hawt.

Last night I had a sort of playful session, and he smacked me on the ass and asked, is this where X smacked you? Is it sore? I DON'T CARE!

And he smacked me again. Heh heh.

Yeah... the whole random smacking on the ass (regardless of who's around or what we're doing) just to "Check how those brusies are doing, baby" (meltmeltmelt) - the realization that that wouldn't be happening, is what caused the meltdown on my last night and put the brakes on things.

 

[intothewoods]

Yeah... the whole random smacking on the ass (regardless of who's around or what we're doing) just to "Check how those brusies are doing, baby" (meltmeltmelt) - the realization that that wouldn't be happening, is what caused the meltdown on my last night and put the brakes on things.

Aww. Where are things now? Are you planning another visit? Or a permanent move?

 

[saw_man1]

Also, may I add - hands on the throat? Light squeeze? Ohmyfuckinggawdthatisthehawtestthingevahhhhh!

One of my very favorite things. Subtle and yet no mistaking their presence or the pressure they exert.

 

[CutieMouse]

Aww. Where are things now? Are you planning another visit? Or a permanent move?

His kids/ex-wife have been visiting the last 2 weeks, so things have been a bit too insane to sort out plans, then in early September he's going home to Montreal for a Jewish holiday (I can't remember... Yom Kippur? I feel so ignorant) / get his kids settled in school for the year. I'm trying to do the research to figure out if / how to run the vintage business from the Dominican (which is making me absofreakinglootley nuts right now), work on my weight a bit (because we both agree I'd be happier/healthier if I dropped 15-20#), negotiate visitation with my ex (so J and I can sort out all those issues), decide what to do about the cat (who will not be a happy camper in a house with 3 dogs, and I can't promise won't claw the leather furniture... sigh), and my next flight out will be a one way ticket.

So we're both stupid busy through September, and don't have anything really set in stone/sorted out yet, but the general plan is for me to be there for good within 3 months.

 

[intothewoods]

His kids/ex-wife have been visiting the last 2 weeks, so things have been a bit too insane to sort out plans, then in early September he's going home to Montreal for a Jewish holiday (I can't remember... Yom Kippur? I feel so ignorant) / get his kids settled in school for the year. I'm trying to do the research to figure out if / how to run the vintage business from the Dominican (which is making me absofreakinglootley nuts right now), work on my weight a bit (because we both agree I'd be happier/healthier if I dropped 15-20#), negotiate visitation with my ex (so J and I can sort out all those issues), decide what to do about the cat (who will not be a happy camper in a house with 3 dogs, and I can't promise won't claw the leather furniture... sigh), and my next flight out will be a one way ticket.

So we're both stupid busy through September, and don't have anything really set in stone/sorted out yet, but the general plan is for me to be there for good within 3 months.

Yeah, I would think sorting out visitation schedules would be the most difficult thing.

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are in September - Jewish High Holidays.

 

[SubKekiLee]

What works for me..

For me we usually talk on the phone before he and I see one another ( either when he is on his way to my home or I am on my way to where we are meeting) Then when I first see him he gives me a big kiss and whispers it is good to see me and he missed me then a nice swat on my ass sorta light to get things warmed up.
Then if I make him displeased then it is on and I am already there in subspace cant wait for him to give me what I earned..

 

[sexycaz22]

OK, not sure where I should put this question.....

But I will try this thread..

I have noticed in the Submission/Love thread that some people have talked about the differences between submissive and bottoming.

So, here is my question.....what is the difference between submissive and bottoming and what it means to YOU? (I know every answer for each individual will be different but I do appreciate the answers! It has been playing on my mind)

Thank you.

 

[CutieMouse]

OK, not sure where I should put this question.....

But I will try this thread..

I have noticed in the Submission/Love thread that some people have talked about the differences between submissive and bottoming.

So, here is my question.....what is the difference between submissive and bottoming and what it means to YOU? (I know every answer for each individual will be different but I do appreciate the answers! It has been playing on my mind)

Thank you.

If I decide I feel like getting tied up one night, and know someone I'd be willing to allow to tie me up, I'll let them tie me up, but the final say about everything that occurs over the course of the evening is mine. (pre-negotiated before tying up occurs). To me, this is bottoming.

If I'm with someone I trust, that I feel an immense desire to please, and am perfectly happy letting him call all the shots with regards to the evening's activities, and willingly comply with those activities; to me that is submitting.

I had a date with a guy years ago, and he wanted to do something he felt was kinky (and I didn't), and was of the opinion I should go along with it because I was submissive. I went along with it because *I* wanted to, not because I was submissive, or he expected it, or he asked it of me. We talked about it afterwards, and he said I was "the oddest submissive woman he'd ever met", because he could look in my eyes, and see I was the one in control of the entire situation, even though I was "submitting" to his wishes. I told him I didn't submit to him, I bottomed because I felt like it. (I refrained from telling him he was way more impressed with his penis than I was, I felt that would be rude...)