Submissive/Slave Haven

[CutieMouse]

OMg..Thank you..CM. You just made me realize that if i did get implants all the breast play i ADORE would no longer be possible. Ummm...yeah...not willing to give that up just to have bigger boobs.


Sincerely...Thank you for that "reality check."

Yup. I'd not even thought of it; J mentioned it as the # 1 reason he believes "enhancing through surgery" being ok for taking things away, but not adding to. LOL

 

[timaea]

i really enjoy talking with both of you....i have mostly been lurking....i hope i won't get in trouble....i was actually just thinking this, but then i thought that all research and work i do to be able to please Master better, is beneficial to Him....

 

[HottieMama]

Yup. I'd not even thought of it; J mentioned it as the # 1 reason he believes "enhancing through surgery" being ok for taking things away, but not adding to. LOL

Makes sense. i'm sure LC will be glad too that i am finally letting this issue "die." (patience of a saint i tell you...patience of a saint....)

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm totally ambivilant about having a tummy tuck - actually I'm the one reading lots of websites and pointing out all the pain in the ass aspects of having plastic surgery and how it will impact his life. LOL (Ok yes it would be nice to have my corset fit properly, and clothes really really fit properly again, but I'm not convinced it's annoying enough for freaking *surgery*.)

I've had five children. I have about 15-20# to lose to hit my ideal weight, and once I have hit my ideal weight, I'll officially be 97# lighter than I was when I was 9 months pregnant with my last baby - which means I do not have the abdomen of a 19 year old. LOL I look amazing for a 35 year old; I look amazing for a woman who's given birth 5 times (no one believes me when I say I have 5 kids LOL), but I spent a lot of my 20s pregnant and/or nursing, and that physical history is part of my "body-map".

As odd as it sounds, the acceptance began with my work as a volunteer lactation counselor. I finally got my head right with regards to how I view breasts. As a teenager I hated my breasts - I'm about a 34/36 not-quite-B-cup, and I was always self conscious, because guys focus so much on size. I spent 7 years nursing, and 3 doing volunteer work around lactation issues, and somewhere along the line I realized that I could give a shit what men's expectations are regarding my breasts. J has been informed (in very sharp terms) that if he ever expects me to do ANYTHING plastic surgery wise to my breasts, I will leave. Period. (Thankfully he's in total agreement, and thinks I have adorable breasts, and doesn't want to change them because then he'd not get to do wicked things with them. LOL)

The work I did to reach a place where I liked my breasts, gradually extended to the rest of my body. I'm not thrilled to be a bit overweight right now, and it's frustrating the crap out of me, but really... this body is this body. It has history, and experience, and stretch marks, but it also grew life, cuddled toddlers, and still gets honked at when I walk 6 miles a day, so the whole poor self-image thing just doesn't hold water with me anymore. (I hate getting honked at, BTW.)

I have no clue why it didn't bother me for J to see me undressed. It sometimes feels odd to be with a man who has a cuter ass than me (the man's 51 and oh sweet jeebus could he give hot college guys a run for their money...), and he always makes a point to tell me he thinks I'm gorgeous (only once with the side note that we are getting rid of "that", because then you'll be gorgeous AND look hot in a bikini! LOL)... it's just not an issue.

I have to agree with you about the history thing. For that reason I would not be able to be as accepting of the suggestion I get a tummy tuck from the man I was planning to spend my life with, especially in the early days of the relationship. Guess if comes a little from feminist thinking in the way I see it as 'if you want me, accept me as I am, a natural woman, not a teenage girl'. Fortunately F is not a big fan of plastic surgery or altering what nature has provided...lol, that is a blessing for him otherwise he might be very frustrated to find he couldn't fix everything such as my scar. I am the one who has issues with it and it is he who caresses it (while I beg him not to), kisses it, and tells me he loves it because it is part of me. He can be so wonderful.

Catalina

 

[intothewoods]

lol, that is a blessing for him otherwise he might be very frustrated to find he couldn't fix everything such as my scar. I am the one who has issues with it and it is he who caresses it (while I beg him not to), kisses it, and tells me he loves it because it is part of me. He can be so wonderful.

Catalina

That's very sweet, cat.

 

[CutieMouse]

I have to agree with you about the history thing. For that reason I would not be able to be as accepting of the suggestion I get a tummy tuck from the man I was planning to spend my life with, especially in the early days of the relationship. Guess if comes a little from feminist thinking in the way I see it as 'if you want me, accept me as I am, a natural woman, not a teenage girl'. Fortunately F is not a big fan of plastic surgery or altering what nature has provided...lol, that is a blessing for him otherwise he might be very frustrated to find he couldn't fix everything such as my scar. I am the one who has issues with it and it is he who caresses it (while I beg him not to), kisses it, and tells me he loves it because it is part of me. He can be so wonderful.

Catalina

Eh... I'm pretty ambivilant about it, honestly. I've made peace with my body and all it's imperfections, but that doesn't mean part of me wouldn't like to have a flat tummy again. LOL I won't do any sort of surgery until I have made every single bit of progress I can possibly make through exercise and healthy eating; if he still feels it's necessary, I'll discuss it. ("Discussing" meaning that I'll be reminding him of alllllllllllllllll the pain in the ass icky things like no sex for almost 2 months. )

 

[Bandit58]

Even after a year of gym work I still have a "tummy". It's not as bad as it was, but it's still there. I have small boobs too (lucky to fill a B cup). However I have good legs and my butt has firmed and now looks pretty damn good I'm fit, and my arms don't have that "turkey neck" look.

I turn 49 in a few weeks. Next year I'll be 50 I'm still shy about my body, but now I feel better about it because I've done something about it by going to the gym and getting fit. I haven't lost a heap of weight, but I've toned and firmed up and when I look in the mirror now I smile

 

[Velvet Bubbles]

.. I haven't lost a heap of weight, but I've toned and firmed up and when I look in the mirror now I smile

Muscle weighs 7x what fat does. So if you're trim, you're doing GREAT! (((HUGS))) I'm happy for ya.

 

[intothewoods]

I just started wearing a bikini again. I figure what the hell.

 

[CutieMouse]

I just started wearing a bikini again. I figure what the hell.

See I wasn't a bikini girl when I was 16 and weighed 119# (at 5'8"). I'm just not a bikini girl. I do have to say though, after spendign an afternoon at the public beach in Sosua, I started to question why I didn't think I was in good enough shape for a bikini. LOL

I was thinking about it while I was out running an errand, and I can see Cat's point about bringing it up so early on... I'd rather he be up front from the very beginning about a lot of things that would probably make most people uncomfortable, because I can evaluate stuff before I get in too deep. I know if I'm with J, the odds of a bit of plastic surgery happening are high. I know I can reduce the impact of that by busting ass in the gym for a bit (which increases the odds it'll be a mini-tummy tuck, rather than a full blown one), but the odds are high. LOL I also know from decisions we've made together regarding birth control, that he listens to me when I tell him pros/cons/this is my research/this is what I feel safest doing.

 

[northwoods_sub]

See I wasn't a bikini girl when I was 16 and weighed 119# (at 5'8"). I'm just not a bikini girl. I do have to say though, after spendign an afternoon at the public beach in Sosua, I started to question why I didn't think I was in good enough shape for a bikini. LOL

Going to public beaches always makes me feel better about how I look in a bikini. lol

I have considered a boob job for a lot of years I have 34A breasts and I have always been self conscience about them. Especially now that my hips are so much wider than when I was say, 17. There have been a few reasons that I haven't done it, the first being that I refuse to give up the chance to breast feed if God/dess ever decides to bless me with another child, and Sir would be really pissed if my breasts lost their sensitivity.
So I will just "suffer" through having small breasts. *sigh*

 

[intothewoods]

Eh, I'm well-proportioned and I have a teeny waist. Looks good in a bikini. My only complaint about my body is the stretch marks. They're not awful, but they bug me. Maybe I should try that stri-vectin stuff.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Eh... I'm pretty ambivilant about it, honestly. I've made peace with my body and all it's imperfections, but that doesn't mean part of me wouldn't like to have a flat tummy again. LOL I won't do any sort of surgery until I have made every single bit of progress I can possibly make through exercise and healthy eating; if he still feels it's necessary, I'll discuss it. ("Discussing" meaning that I'll be reminding him of alllllllllllllllll the pain in the ass icky things like no sex for almost 2 months. )

Guess my issue with it being brought up so soon is nothing to do with how I see my body or even how he sees it, but that it would matter that much when there is so much more to me he needs or should at least be interested enough to get to know instead of looking at the superficial. Talking is good, and we did a lot before meeting, but that can only provide so much information and from one viewpoint usually...after 5 years together we are still learning new things about each other so it isn't an instant snapshot reveals all...lol, especially those little things you both do which annoy the other after awhile and which my mother used to always say were the deal breakers or at least very trying at the wrong time...oh I hate it when she is right.

I always look at worst case scenarios such as how they would feel about me and our relationship if I were in an accident which seriously disfigured me...if from the beginning one of the main points of focus was on physical perfection (in their eyes) and altering my body to their idea of better, I would seriously begin to question if they would want to be with me if such an accident happened, whether they actually were acknowledging who I was as a human being, not to mention whether I wanted to be with them. See, I really do overthink many things, but that is me and has more than once saved me from a jumping in and realising later what it was I jumped into...not always, but sometimes. It is good you are OK with it though.

Catalina

 

[CutieMouse]

Going to public beaches always makes me feel better about how I look in a bikini. lol

I have considered a boob job for a lot of years I have 34A breasts and I have always been self conscience about them. Especially now that my hips are so much wider than when I was say, 17. There have been a few reasons that I haven't done it, the first being that I refuse to give up the chance to breast feed if God/dess ever decides to bless me with another child, and Sir would be really pissed if my breasts lost their sensitivity.
So I will just "suffer" through having small breasts. *sigh*

Small breasts are not a bad thing. My # 1 reason I love having smaller breasts? I never have to bother with a bra. LOL

Another thing to consider, is if you get a breast enlargement, it means no more breast play. No binding, no whipping, no flogging, no clamps all over, nope, nada, nothin'.

 

[intothewoods]

Small breasts are not a bad thing. My # 1 reason I love having smaller breasts? I never have to bother with a bra. LOL.

Ha! I do envy that. And you can wear certain tops without looking like a trollop.

 

[CutieMouse]

Guess my issue with it being brought up so soon is nothing to do with how I see my body or even how he sees it, but that it would matter that much when there is so much more to me he needs or should at least be interested enough to get to know instead of looking at the superficial. Talking is good, and we did a lot before meeting, but that can only provide so much information and from one viewpoint usually...after 5 years together we are still learning new things about each other so it isn't an instant snapshot reveals all...lol, especially those little things you both do which annoy the other after awhile and which my mother used to always say were the deal breakers or at least very trying at the wrong time...oh I hate it when she is right.

I always look at worst case scenarios such as how they would feel about me and our relationship if I were in an accident which seriously disfigured me...if from the beginning one of the main points of focus was on physical perfection (in their eyes) and altering my body to their idea of better, I would seriously begin to question if they would want to be with me if such an accident happened, whether they actually were acknowledging who I was as a human being, not to mention whether I wanted to be with them. See, I really do overthink many things, but that is me and has more than once saved me from a jumping in and realising later what it was I jumped into...not always, but sometimes. It is good you are OK with it though.

Catalina

Smartypante me, I made the man sit down and discuss all those things. What happens when I'm older and don't look fabulous anymore? What if I have an accident and need surgery and nothing looks "right" anymore? What if I get a tummy tuck and the surgeon messes it up and I look horrible? What if the surgeon decides I'm not a candidate for surgery for some reason? He answered everything to my satisfaction. He's not looking at a tummy tuck from a Barbie doll perspective. I mean yeah, part of the desire is because he thinks I'm gorgeous now, and the idea of every man on the beach being jealous that his old ass is walking down the beach with a stunning younger redhead in a bikini is a motivator, but I sincerely believe it isn't a "you aren't good enough lets turn you into a Barbie doll" thing.

He was completely caught off guard (in a shocked but good way) when I told him he could offer to pay for a complete body overhaul - tummy tuck/lipo/breast lift/blahblahblah tomorrow, and I'd turn him down. I always strive to be better, but I'm totally at peace with who I am and how I am right this second. He's never met a woman who could say that before (which is one of the reasons he thinks I'm so damned special LOL).

Side note- I swear to God I've never seen so many huge breasts in one place, as I did in the Dominican. The entire time I was there, I think I was the only A/B cup woman on the island...

 

[DVS]

Small breasts are not a bad thing. My # 1 reason I love having smaller breasts? I never have to bother with a bra. LOL

Another thing to consider, is if you get a breast enlargement, it means no more breast play. No binding, no whipping, no flogging, no clamps all over, nope, nada, nothin'.

I might be considered an unusual man, but I don't like large breasts. Oh, I don't dislike them, but I much more prefer the smaller size.

I see men oggling over these pictures of a woman with VERY large breasts and I just shake my head...I don't understand the thrill. Give me a well proportioned female body, not too big and not too small and I'm a happy camper.

OK, I'm also not going to request any augmentation of her body, to satisfy my desires. It's her body to do with as she wishes. And, I will also make sure she understands that she will not change her body for me...but only for herself.

 

[CutieMouse]

Ha! I do envy that. And you can wear certain tops without looking like a trollop.

And there are a million and three tops I can't wear and look good in to save my life. LOL

 

[catalina_francisco]

: He's never met a woman who could say that before

LOL, he has been mixing with the wrong women obviously. Out of curiosity then, and you don't have to answer if you don't want, if his motivation is not to make you look better in his eyes (or to change you physically), then why is he wanting you to get plastic surgery?

Catalina

 

[intothewoods]

And there are a million and three tops I can't wear and look good in to save my life. LOL

The girls do get me a lot of attention. I won't lie. They aren't huge, by any means, but they're full and I do have nice cleavage. I thought maybe they'd change drastically after having a kid, but they didn't.

I'm also kind of an attention whore...

 

[northwoods_sub]

And there are a million and three tops I can't wear and look good in to save my life. LOL

Exactly.

 

[Netzach]

Why I even considered bottoming to my bull back in the early stages of this rel. and why I continue to feel that way.

I bite my nails, with the exception of a short period in my life. I plan on stopping again - not the point, really. I loved the look, but honestly anything other than pillow fingers bug me - from being unable to type the same, work with my hands the same, even pick my nose with relative safety. I've bitten almost my whole life.

I remember a guy in the scene really intent on Domming me looking at my hands, or catching me chewing and saying "maybe you need to be punished" and immediately slammed the door in his face for me even wanting to talk to him again let alone bottom to him.

Then my bull, in the early days of the relationship, took my hand in his once. Looked. "You have beautiful hands."

I knew what was coming next...what always came next every time someone pointed this out "you really should quit chewing your nails."

Only it didn't.

"You have beautiful hands."

End of story. I fall in love with him all over again just thinking about it.

 

[CutieMouse]

LOL, he has been mixing with the wrong women obviously. Out of curiosity then, and you don't have to answer if you don't want, if his motivation is not to make you look better in his eyes (or to change you physically), then why is he wanting you to get plastic surgery?

Catalina

Lets just say the poor man has had a lot of "take out" sex in his life, and we've had quite a few discussions about style over substance... which usually end with me busting his ass when he gets to the part in the story where he admits he was an idiot. (Like how when he first bought the house 5 years ago, he'd hire these really hot young Dominican girls who were willing to clean house in a bikini... and he kept having to fire them because his house was always messy, but about 3 years ago he hired his current housekeeper, who isn't "hot", but is worth her weight in gold. )

It's hard to explain... yes he thinks I'd look better without the "mommy tummy"; yes he'd prefer that the "mommy tummy" not be there, but he also knows he can't keep his hands off me exactly as I am now (Mr. I-Never-Had-A-Woman-Wear-Me-Out-Before LOL). He's hooked on my mind, my humor, my smile, my compassion and a million other things... IMO, he's looking at the substance, with the intent of enhancing the "style", to get the best of both worlds (while recognizing that neither of us are going to stay young looking hot and fabulous - but we might as well look as good as possible while we can LOL). He thinks I'm "babe-ish" as is (and make him look better just by my presence), but with a bit of tweaking he will be the envy of ever man he meets for having such a stunning woman on his arm. LOL

I'm totally cool and 100% in agreement with losing about 20# (as I already wanted to), and getting in better physical shape (muscle tone/etc); I also recognize there is only so much that can be done at a gym, so I'm open to the idea of "finishing work". Once I'm as healthy and strong as I can be, it seems silly (to him) to have a wrinkly stretch-marked tummy instead of a slim stomach that shows off great abs.

 

[WriterDom]

Got an email from gigi. She's having computer problems. And can't get on lit from work. But she says hi.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Lets just say the poor man has had a lot of "take out" sex in his life, and we've had quite a few discussions about style over substance... which usually end with me busting his ass when he gets to the part in the story where he admits he was an idiot. (Like how when he first bought the house 5 years ago, he'd hire these really hot young Dominican girls who were willing to clean house in a bikini... and he kept having to fire them because his house was always messy, but about 3 years ago he hired his current housekeeper, who isn't "hot", but is worth her weight in gold. )

It's hard to explain... yes he thinks I'd look better without the "mommy tummy"; yes he'd prefer that the "mommy tummy" not be there, but he also knows he can't keep his hands off me exactly as I am now (Mr. I-Never-Had-A-Woman-Wear-Me-Out-Before LOL). He's hooked on my mind, my humor, my smile, my compassion and a million other things... IMO, he's looking at the substance, with the intent of enhancing the "style", to get the best of both worlds (while recognizing that neither of us are going to stay young looking hot and fabulous - but we might as well look as good as possible while we can LOL). He thinks I'm "babe-ish" as is (and make him look better just by my presence), but with a bit of tweaking he will be the envy of ever man he meets for having such a stunning woman on his arm. LOL

I'm totally cool and 100% in agreement with losing about 20# (as I already wanted to), and getting in better physical shape (muscle tone/etc); I also recognize there is only so much that can be done at a gym, so I'm open to the idea of "finishing work". Once I'm as healthy and strong as I can be, it seems silly (to him) to have a wrinkly stretch-marked tummy instead of a slim stomach that shows off great abs.

OK, if you're cool with it...but I thought you previously said you were to lose 15#, not 20#?!!

Catalina