Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

I don't stress job hunting at all, not even now that I'm having some persistent virus.
 
I take 50% off my usual rates for Valentine's Day, so ladies better make their reservations soon. This deal will not last.
 
I have no idea how I'm even posting on Lit right now as I don't have internet access and I'm using a typewriter.

The picture threads really suck!
 
Dancing is an abomination and I think we should all stop it right now!!

I’d stomp my foot to accentuate my defiance, but that would be too much like dancing.
 
Indeed there is nothing positive about it! Especially "social" dancing is having such negative effects on social life, it even hinders people from finding partners!
Exactly right!!

I’m glad I’m not the only one sitting prim and proper on the bench watching these heathens have a so-called good time.

Not tapping my foot to the beat, either.
 
I have never spoken a single fucking swear word in my entire life.
 
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