Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[PersonalFavors]

My neighbor I shoveled out her driveway and sidewalks offered me a warm bath and massage. I turned her down.

 

[Taegul]

I could not be any more productive today. Not lazy at all.

 

[Strixaluco]

I don't stress job hunting at all, not even now that I'm having some persistent virus.

 

[Taegul]

I take 50% off my usual rates for Valentine's Day, so ladies better make their reservations soon. This deal will not last.

 

[ALovelyNudist]

I’m very very very shy!

 

[Coyote100]

I am looking for another shy person to chat with.

 

[cactusjack0584]

I have loads of self confidence

 

[vibes]

I am a blond bombshell in the closet

 

[Taegul]

I have no idea how I'm even posting on Lit right now as I don't have internet access and I'm using a typewriter.

The picture threads really suck!

 

[Masters_slutpussy]

I love Star Wars

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Dancing is an abomination and I think we should all stop it right now!!

I’d stomp my foot to accentuate my defiance, but that would be too much like dancing.

 

[Strixaluco]

Dancing is an abomination and I think we should all stop it right now!!

I’d stomp my foot to accentuate my defiance, but that would be too much like dancing.

Indeed there is nothing positive about it! Especially "social" dancing is having such negative effects on social life, it even hinders people from finding partners!

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Indeed there is nothing positive about it! Especially "social" dancing is having such negative effects on social life, it even hinders people from finding partners!

Exactly right!!

I’m glad I’m not the only one sitting prim and proper on the bench watching these heathens have a so-called good time.

Not tapping my foot to the beat, either.

 

[Taegul]

Dancing is an abomination and I think we should all stop it right now!!

I’d stomp my foot to accentuate my defiance, but that would be too much like dancing.

I'd have to agree with this. And most people look absolutely ridiculous when they dance.

Except for when I do The Robot. My Robot is sexy as fuck.

 

[Trubbycat]

I've been sentenced to death by snu-snu. I wonder what the appeals process is.

 

[ALovelyNudist]

I’ve never ever committed a crime

 

[JustAnotherFlower]

I wake full of joy and energy every single day.

 

[Mewalkabout]

I hate attention

 

[Taegul]

I have never spoken a single fucking swear word in my entire life.

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

I really don't like oral sex.

 

[JustAnotherFlower]

I would never own a sex toy.

 

[MidwestPrincess23]

I have never sold sex toys... like ever

 

[Shenanigans90]

I would never own a sex toy.

I have never sold sex toys... like ever

I’m a sex toy salesman, I need a couple of volunteers to try my products.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I don't even know what a sex toy is.

 

[Shenanigans90]

I don't even know what a sex toy is.