Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

I'm rooting for the Dodgers this post season. Go Blue!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go rinse my mouth out with soap and pure alcohol.
 
I have actually come from the distant future to try and save all of your souls by revealing the one true religion. All others are phony and fake, and there is but one true faith that will reward you with eternal bliss and harmony...

Scientology. Yup. It's not too late to convert. And to give up all your money too. You don't wanna be left behind when the spaceships come to carry us all off....or whatever the fuck they we believe in. Repent, sinners!
 
Yea I’m a time traveler, don’t listen to @Taegul because that’s just how apocalypse #9600444081 starts in timeline # 42909942394. What everyone wants to do is throw eggs at the aliens when they arrive… trust me I’d never lie 😉
 
You are all figments of my delusions, thinking yourselves to be the center of existence. You’re not.

That’s my cat. Just ask her.
 
I have the Guinness World Record for amounts of times being struck by lightning.
 
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