Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[kreemi_pi]

I am Ecto John.

 

[smtst5]

I’m a ray of sunshine today

 

[ALovelyNudist]

I have x-ray vision

 

[~Elizabeth~]

I don't need sex ever again.

 

[azflyboy69]

I have 5 baby mamas

 

[EctoJohn]

My favorite article of clothing are torn purple shorts.

 

[smtst5]

Im not hornier than I was when I was younger

 

[Wageslave]

I'm 2 gorillas both named Bob

 

[Ratchetman1982]

I think making out like teenagers is highly overrated

 

[SusanHoward]

I never skinny dip at the old rock quarry on my days off.

 

[SirCorneliusWankumbush]

Pay Morgan Freeman to narrate my life, he is right next to me narrating what I am texting at this very moment...

 

[SirCorneliusWankumbush]

I have x-ray vision

One upping my x-ray monocle, touche!

 

[Madhatter02]

I never skinny dip at the old rock quarry on my days off.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

One upping my x-ray monocle, touche!

Do you have antiradiation eyedrops?

 

[SirCorneliusWankumbush]

Do you have antiradiation eyedrops?

Of course I do! Don't need my good eye falling out!

 

[GraiceeGirl]

One glass of wine will NOT make me hungover the next day.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I have never been hung over.

 

[PotNoodle79]

I am a ball of sunshine and rainbows.

Yay.

 

[lil_jenni]

I have not been a churning ball of anxiety since setting up a lunch date with my new girl crush. And I am not counting the hours until 11:30 am on Thursday with a mix of anticipation and trepidation.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

I really do NOT have time to post now - my schedule for e-fucking on lit is preventing me from doing it...

 

[SirCorneliusWankumbush]

Ladies are lining up.......... to steal my top hat, good thing I have tracking devices on them so my security team can procure them back.

 

[pinkparkhorse]

I stole Cornelius’ top hat and disabled the tracking device. Now he’ll never get it back. Mwah ha ha.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I slipped the tracking device into Cornelius’ back pocket.

 

[EctoJohn]

I have owned a boat before named Frankie.

 

[EMPTYSTAR]

My fridge light doesn't judge me at 2 am, definitely not lolol~