Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Taegul]

I'm such an angel, I've never even used a curse word in my entire fucking life.

 

[LeSabreur]

I'm one of those balding, paunchy old dudes who drives a Corvette and needs a sexy young lady to make him feel special.

 

[EctoJohn]

Going awesome.

 

[Taegul]

I'm typing this with my elbow.
I'm typing this with my toes.
I'm typing this with my penis. Sorry if it's too big.

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

I've fucked more girls than Wilt Chamberlin

 

[LeSabreur]

I've fucked more girls than Wilt Chamberlin

It's true, and I should know. I'm @nudeblaqgirl's pimp.

 

[Sexydrana]

You know those ancient statues of the full bodied goddesses? Yea, those were made in my image actually. I traveled back in time and posed for each one.

 

[EctoJohn]

I do art restoration, but only for famous erotic art.

 

[LeSabreur]

I never flirt.

 

[Sexydrana]

I’m the green M&M

 

[Wandering_Sen]

I do not wear rose-tinted glasses.

 

[snexxer]

I can remember the last time I had sex.

 

[EctoJohn]

I'm currently writing a fictional biography of Andre the Giant as a space detective.

 

[ScarletDaisy]

I am not a ball of anxiety right now.

 

[Xerxes82]

I wrote the Youtube algorithm

 

[SusanHoward]

I can always read men’s’ minds!

 

[EctoJohn]

I just signed up for Lit.

 

[LeSabreur]

I'm the reason that Demi Moore got her lips done.

 

[EctoJohn]

My middle name is Lollipop.

 

[Taegul]

I really love the fake enthusiasm posting. Remember, ladies, he isn't really into you unless he uses at least five exclamation marks!!!!! Because you're the best thing on Lit!!!!!!!!!!

And excessive emojis are a nice supplement!!!!!!!

Love seeing this!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[EctoJohn]

I design erotic mugs with heat changing designs.

 

[Taegul]

I wear a brown paper bag over my head in public just so I don't get recognized by any of my adoring Lit fans.

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

I like having sex with blind guys and telling them I'm Korean

 

[LeSabreur]

I like having sex with blind guys and telling them I'm Korean

This is such a fucking perfect post that I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the smile it has given me.

I stand in awe. Brava.

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

This is such a fucking perfect post that I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the smile it has given me.

I stand in awe. Brava.