Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[DarkRaven13]

When I flirt on here it's not just flirting ... I totally follow through.

 

[Trubbycat]

When I flirt I never get hit with pepper spray.

 

[Trubbycat]

 

[DarkRaven13]

Finger puppets in the image of the Disney Minions are my sex toy of choice

 

[thejabber27]

Mayo is my condiment of choice.

 

[neakman]

I am one of the most popular Listers.

 

[PageWriter2]

I destroy the English language when I write.

 

[Gamine67]

I played a tuning A minor and no one caught me.

 

[ydahecnot]

I have never left the state I was born in.

With a cord coming out of your navel?

I always pass up the joke

 

[JerseyJade]

From this moment on, I will never pick on SirPeckerPimpleHead... um, I mean, @SirConradPeckereye again.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

From this moment on, I will never pick on LadyLovesPeckerInHerEars.... ummmm, I mean, @JerseyJade again.

 

[Shenanigans90]

My nickname is “The Big Cock From Little Rock”

 

[kieranhalcyon01]

I do not get embarrassingly winded by walking up 3 flights of stairs and I do not desperately need to exercise more than I do, no no, I am a paragon of physical fitness

 

[BrendaBear]

I snuck into @EarlyDawn1973 ‘s house last night and swiped a soda. And some chips…

 

[luckylegsat60]

My first time on a new dating site and I have to turn them away by the hundreds.

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

I am very good at being alone.

 

[BrendaBear]

I am very good at being alone.

Oh yeah! Living alone has been the best thing that ever happened to me too!

 

[EarlyDawn1973]

I snuck into @EarlyDawn1973 ‘s house last night and swiped a soda. And some chips…

I knew it!

 

[Trubbycat]

I am accepting applications for nude housekeepers. Please have references.

 

[ydahecnot]

I bet under on the Inquisition

 

[English_guy_bkk]

I can speak 4 languages and my nickname is the stallion

 

[BrendaBear]

I regularly shop at walmart in a Las Vegas show girl outfit, complete with headdress.

 

[DarkRaven13]

Stories on Literotica are actually about me. Every single one of them.

 

[JohnnyValentine]

I found myself being particularly concerned that my diet was having an unhealthy impact on my sex life (regularly committed the sin of masturbation).

However, upon discovering that the nutritionist Dr. John Harvey Kellogg invented corn flakes and promoted it as a healthy breakfast cereal, I have been having large quantities of his cereal every morning and believe it or not, I have stopped masturbating.

 

[JustAnotherFlower]

I'm a delightful ray of sunshine.