The Bears Den

[Puddin36]

(((((((Puddin))))))).......good to see you hon......

{{{{{{{{{cats}}}}}}}}}} Great to see u too. Have a great weekend.

 

[Puddin36]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} hope your having an awesome evening and an even better weekend

{{{{{{{{{{{MaryBears}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I plan on having a great weekend. Spending it with my kids. Gonna go see a movie tomorrow and make home-made pizza for supper. Haven't made it since I left the ex and that was over 5 years ago.........hope it is the same as riding a bike!!! LOL Hope u have a great weekend too.

 

[Puddin36]

Re: Anger Management w/ a twist

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Andrew. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an @#%$!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'assh*le' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an @#%$!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic '@#%$' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"

He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an @#%$!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window ...so, I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first @#%$, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW @#%$ too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Don, you're an @#%$." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assh*les to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called @#%$ #1.

"Hello." "You're an @#%$!" (But I didn't hang up.) "Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed. "Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"@#%$, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, @#%$."

Then I called @#%$ #2. "Hello?" he said.

"Hello, @#%$," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You'll what?" I said. "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, @#%$, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.

There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.

NOW, I feel better!

Anger management at its very best.

OMG..........that is a cute one cats. I'm too much of a chicken to do what was said in the piece, but damn that was good. Thanks for the chuckle before bed. Have a nice night.

 

[catsr2wild]

Re: Re: Anger Management w/ a twist

OMG..........that is a cute one cats. I'm too much of a chicken to do what was said in the piece, but damn that was good. Thanks for the chuckle before bed. Have a nice night.

You too hon and I'm glad you enjoyed my chuckle...

 

[Papa-Joe]

Good Morning

Good Morning Mary Bears just dropping in to wish you a
wonderfull Weekend ----Hugsssssss from * P J *

 

[kayte]

Good morning {{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}} Hoping you have a great weekend hon.

Hope the chuckle brings a smile to your face....

A Fruitful Confession

Paddy goes to confession and says to the priest, "Bless me father, for I have sinned. It's been three weeks since my last confession, and in that time I have committed the sin of adultery."

The priest says, "Was it with Brigitte O'Hara?"

Paddy says, "I'm sorry Father, but I can't tell you who it was with."

So the priest says, "I'll bet it was with Mary O'Houlihan, the hussy!"

Paddy says, "I'm sorry Father, but I really can't tell you who it was."

The priest says, "Was it that Rose O'Connell?"

And Paddy responds, "I've told you already Father, I can't reveal who it was."

So the priest says, "You're a wicked man Paddy O'Reilly. Say six Hail Marys and don't let me hear that you've transgressed again!"

As he is walking home, Paddy bumps into his friend Seamus, who says, "Paddy! How are you doin'? Is it the Church you'll be coming from?"

And Paddy says, "Aye Seamus, I've just been to confession."

"How was it?"

Paddy says, "Oh not too bad, I got six Hail Marys and three good leads!"

 

[MaryBears]

Re: Anger Management w/ a twist

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Andrew. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an @#%$!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'assh*le' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an @#%$!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic '@#%$' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"

He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an @#%$!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window ...so, I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first @#%$, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW @#%$ too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Don, you're an @#%$." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assh*les to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called @#%$ #1.

"Hello." "You're an @#%$!" (But I didn't hang up.) "Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed. "Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"@#%$, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, @#%$."

Then I called @#%$ #2. "Hello?" he said.

"Hello, @#%$," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You'll what?" I said. "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, @#%$, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.

There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.

NOW, I feel better!

Anger management at its very best.

Roflmfao Thanks Cats....

 

[MaryBears]

{{{{{{{{{{{MaryBears}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I plan on having a great weekend. Spending it with my kids. Gonna go see a movie tomorrow and make home-made pizza for supper. Haven't made it since I left the ex and that was over 5 years ago.........hope it is the same as riding a bike!!! LOL Hope u have a great weekend too.

{{{{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Sounds like you will have a very good weekend.....Family time is always a good thing..... Take care and hope to see you soon...

 

[MaryBears]

Re: Good Morning

Good Morning Mary Bears just dropping in to wish you a
wonderfull Weekend ----Hugsssssss from * P J *

Good Morning PJ hope all is well with you.....Please do stop in often.....and you have a marvelous day

 

[MaryBears]

Good morning {{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}} Hoping you have a great weekend hon.

Hope the chuckle brings a smile to your face....

A Fruitful Confession

Paddy goes to confession and says to the priest, "Bless me father, for I have sinned. It's been three weeks since my last confession, and in that time I have committed the sin of adultery."

The priest says, "Was it with Brigitte O'Hara?"

Paddy says, "I'm sorry Father, but I can't tell you who it was with."

So the priest says, "I'll bet it was with Mary O'Houlihan, the hussy!"

Paddy says, "I'm sorry Father, but I really can't tell you who it was."

The priest says, "Was it that Rose O'Connell?"

And Paddy responds, "I've told you already Father, I can't reveal who it was."

So the priest says, "You're a wicked man Paddy O'Reilly. Say six Hail Marys and don't let me hear that you've transgressed again!"

As he is walking home, Paddy bumps into his friend Seamus, who says, "Paddy! How are you doin'? Is it the Church you'll be coming from?"

And Paddy says, "Aye Seamus, I've just been to confession."

"How was it?"

Paddy says, "Oh not too bad, I got six Hail Marys and three good leads!"

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} thanks so much for sharing....That gave me a good chuckle....Hope your weekend is fabulous

 

[kayte]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} thanks so much for sharing....That gave me a good chuckle....Hope your weekend is fabulous

Hi {{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}} I am glad you liked the chuckle!!!!

Hope your day was a splendid one!!!

 

[catsr2wild]

Well thats one way to make 'em behave

As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum.

No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, a man in a Marine uniform is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an
upraised hand, the courtly, soft-spoken Marine leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.

All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.

As the Marine slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.

"Excuse me, sir," she ask quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"

The Marine smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw
one passenger out the plane door, on any flight I choose."

 

[MaryBears]

Re: Well thats one way to make 'em behave

As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum.

No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, a man in a Marine uniform is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an
upraised hand, the courtly, soft-spoken Marine leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.

All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.

As the Marine slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.

"Excuse me, sir," she ask quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"

The Marine smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw
one passenger out the plane door, on any flight I choose."

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Cats}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} thanks for sharing....that was so good.....i got my morning chuckle with it.... Have a good day

 

[MaryBears]

http://www.jokaroo.com/ecards/pictures/funny_picture_images/GagToons_17.jpg

 

[MaryBears]

http://www.damnfunnypictures.com/images/fashion1.jpg

 

[MaryBears]

http://www.damnfunnypictures.com/images/fashion2.jpg

 

[MaryBears]

Damn those would hurt if they got you in the night

http://www.damnfunnypictures.com/images/fashion3.jpg

 

[MaryBears]

Die hard fan

http://www.damnfunnypictures.com/images/fashion4.jpg

 

[Puddin36]

Good Sunday afternoon to everyone here at the Den. That last pic grossed me out. I love a hairy chest..........but the back thing is gross. Just my opinion of course.

I have had a spendid weekend with the kids MaryBears. We went and seen the movie 50 First Dates. It was hilarious, well worth the money. I recommend it to anyone that needs to laugh alot.

Hope everyone has had a great weekend. Stay safe and warm.




Hugs to all..........Puddin

 

[done_got_old]

Good Sunday afternoon to everyone here at the Den. That last pic grossed me out. I love a hairy chest..........but the back thing is gross. Just my opinion of course.

I have had a spendid weekend with the kids MaryBears. We went and seen the movie 50 First Dates. It was hilarious, well worth the money. I recommend it to anyone that needs to laugh alot.

Hope everyone has had a great weekend. Stay safe and warm.




That was a lot of hair........I wonder what number was on the front. I think he could be the dictionary illustration for........

hirsute \HUR-soot; HIR-soot; hur-SOOT; hir-SOOT\, adjective:
Covered with hair; set with bristles; shaggy; hairy.

 

[Missingmeds]

This one I just couldn't pass up...

24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator...

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.


9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, damn motion sickness!"

11. Meow occasionally.

12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

18. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the otherpassengers that this is your "personal space."

21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on

 

[done_got_old]

I've done a few of those.

 

[Missingmeds]

I can just imagine what the people in the elevator with you did too....lol

 

[MaryBears]

Good Sunday afternoon to everyone here at the Den. That last pic grossed me out. I love a hairy chest..........but the back thing is gross. Just my opinion of course.

I have had a spendid weekend with the kids MaryBears. We went and seen the movie 50 First Dates. It was hilarious, well worth the money. I recommend it to anyone that needs to laugh alot.

Hope everyone has had a great weekend. Stay safe and warm.




Hugs to all..........Puddin

{{{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}}}}}}}}}} Good Sunday to you....I am so glad you had a good weekend.....My weekend was exhausting...but oh well life goes on

I don't got to movies....One I don't have the $$$ and two me and big crowds don't get along very well....with all my health problems.....that is one reason i feel i think is the crowd and close corridoors.

 

[MaryBears]

Good Sunday afternoon to everyone here at the Den. That last pic grossed me out. I love a hairy chest..........but the back thing is gross. Just my opinion of course.

I have had a spendid weekend with the kids MaryBears. We went and seen the movie 50 First Dates. It was hilarious, well worth the money. I recommend it to anyone that needs to laugh alot.

Hope everyone has had a great weekend. Stay safe and warm.




That was a lot of hair........I wonder what number was on the front. I think he could be the dictionary illustration for........

hirsute \HUR-soot; HIR-soot; hur-SOOT; hir-SOOT\, adjective:
Covered with hair; set with bristles; shaggy; hairy.

Welcome to the thread Done _got_old and I hope you visit often....