The Bears Den

[MaryBears]

OMG!!!! That is great!!!

This is definitely the day to not have a drink in your hand or a swallow of something in your mouth when checking out the posts here today.

Hehe.....that is it for now.....i am going to take a nap....I am tired....couldn't get to sleep last night and had to get up early ...so i think a nap sounds good....

 

[kayte]

Hehe.....that is it for now.....i am going to take a nap....I am tired....couldn't get to sleep last night and had to get up early ...so i think a nap sounds good....

Have a great nap. Tucking you in under the down comforter, with the down pillows you can snuggle into.

Sweet erotic dreams for your nap too.

 

[catsr2wild]

OMG!!!! That is great!!!

This is definitely the day to not have a drink in your hand or a swallow of something in your mouth when checking out the posts here today.

no kidding!!!!!

 

[MaryBears]

Have a great nap. Tucking you in under the down comforter, with the down pillows you can snuggle into.

Sweet erotic dreams for your nap too.

Thanks Kayte.....the nap was good....but I will not be able to sleep tonight.....that is the main reason i hate taking naps.....but i needed it.....and i am still tired......Ugggh I hate days like this

 

[xanathos]

*hugs* LIke the jokes they are funnY

 

[MaryBears]

*hugs* LIke the jokes they are funnY

*pounces on your lap and hugs tightly* Thanks babe...glad to see you drop in

 

[kayte]

Thanks Kayte.....the nap was good....but I will not be able to sleep tonight.....that is the main reason i hate taking naps.....but i needed it.....and i am still tired......Ugggh I hate days like this

{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}} hon, you and I are so much alike. I am the same way with naps. They leave me all wooly headed and then I can't sleep that night either.

Sorry you are still tired love. Giving you a big hug!!!!!

 

[kayte]

*hugs* LIke the jokes they are funnY

{{{{{{{{xanathos}}}}}} Nice to see you again!!! Hope you continue to stop by Mary's place. It is such a good one.

Have a wonderful evening.

 

[catsr2wild]

kayte's avatar

I LOVE IT!!! How cute can you get???

I'm done now....

 

[MaryBears]

{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}} hon, you and I are so much alike. I am the same way with naps. They leave me all wooly headed and then I can't sleep that night either.

Sorry you are still tired love. Giving you a big hug!!!!!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thanks for the big hug....I really hate taking naps....but sometimes I just get so tired i can't keep my eyes open..... Thanks for the big hug...I did need that

 

[kayte]

Re: kayte's avatar

I LOVE IT!!! How cute can you get???

I'm done now....

Hi there cats, nice to meet you. Glad you get a chuckle out of my AV.

 

[kayte]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thanks for the big hug....I really hate taking naps....but sometimes I just get so tired i can't keep my eyes open..... Thanks for the big hug...I did need that

I know what you mean about needing the sleep.

Glad the hug helped....

{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}}} You take care sweetie, and do something this evening to spoil yourself.

 

[MaryBears]

Re: kayte's avatar

I LOVE IT!!! How cute can you get???

I'm done now....

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Cats}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} i am glad that you like the thread....we do have fun in here.....

 

[catsr2wild]

Re: Re: kayte's avatar

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Cats}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} i am glad that you like the thread....we do have fun in here.....

I am enjoying myself here....

 

[MaryBears]

Twinkies and Root Beer


A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God
lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of Root
Beer
and he started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old man. He was sitting
in the park just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to him
and
opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer
when he noticed that the old man looked hungry, so he offered him a
Twinkie.

He gratefully accepted it and smiled at him. His smile was so pleasant
that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a root beer.
Again,he
smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon
eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to
leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around,
ran back to
the old man, and gave him a hug. He gave him his biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his
mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him,
"What
did you do today that made you so happy?

"He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could
respond, he added, "You know what? God's got the most beautiful smile
I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the old man, also radiant with joy, returned to his home.
His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face and he asked," Dad,
what did you do today that made you so happy?"

He replied, "I ate Twinkies in the park with God." However, before his
son responded, he added," You know, he's much younger than I expected."

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word,
a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring,
all of
which have the potential to turn a life around.

People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
Embrace all equally!

Give this to people who have touched your life in a special way. Let
them know how important they are. Have lunch with God!

And .......Thanks for touching my life.



My hope and prayer is that you meet God today in whatever you

 

[Puddin36]

Just stopping in and catching up on all I missed by not being here yesterday.........great jokes and stories as always. Thanks so much for sharing them.......they can really pick up a persons day. Hope everyone is staying warm and safe.






Warm Huggles to all...........Puddin

 

[Missingmeds]

Here's one for you all:

(Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by her well-meaning
husband.)



Monday A.M.

My Dearest: Please sleep late. Everything under control. Lunches packed. Kids off to school. Menu for dinner planned. Your lunch is on a tray in refrigerator: finger-sandwiches and fruit cup. Thermos of hot tea by bedside.

See you around 6:00. Hope you're feeling better.



Tuesday A.M.

Honey: Sorry about the egg rack in the refrigerator. I tried to catch it. Hope you got back to sleep. Did the kids tell you about the Coke I put in their Thermos bottles? Apparently not a good idea. The school might call you on this. Dinner may be a little late. I'm doing your door-to-door canvas for liver research. Your lunch is in refrigerator. Hope you like leftover chili.




Wednesday A.M.

Dear Doris: Why in the name of all that is sane would you put soap powder in the flour canister! If you have time, could you please come up with a likely place to find Chris's missing shoes? We've checked the clothes hamper, garage, back seat of the car and wood box. Did you know the school has a ruling on bedroom slippers? There's some cold pizza for you on a napkin in the frig. Am trying to find out what smells in the kitchen.
Will be late tonight Driving eight Girl Scouts to tour meat packing house.



Thursday A.M.

Doris: Don't panic over water in hallway. It crested last night at 9 P..M. Will finish laundry tonight.

Please pencil in answers to following:

1. How do you turn on the garbage disposal? I thought it was automatic..
Guess not.

2. Why would that rotten kid leave his shoes in his boots?

3. How do you remove a Confederate flag inked on the palm of a small boy's
hand?

4. What do you do with leftovers when they begin to snap at you when you
open the door? I don't know what you're having for lunch! Surprise me!



Friday A.M.

Hey: Don't drink from pitcher by the sink! Am trying to restore pink dress shirt to original white. Take heart. Tonight, the ironing will be folded, the house cleaned and the dinner on time.

I called your mother.

 

[Missingmeds]

And on a little more serious note this one:

Had a Drug Problem Submitted By J, L, CR & TJ Morrison

My generation just might have been lucky when it dealt with growing up problems. But I have to confess something about myself. I had a drug problem when I was young.

*I was drug inside when it got to late.

*I was drug to weddings and funerals.

*I was drug to family get-togethers and reunions no matter the weather.

*I was drug to the to school when I didn't feel good and wanted to stay home.

*I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults and teachers.

*I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents.

*I was drug to neighbors to apologize when I did something I shouldn't have.

Those drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my behavior in every thing I do, say, and think today. They have set my moral code, values and core behaviors. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin, and if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America just might be a better place.

 

[Missingmeds]

And one more not so serious one, (maybe):

IDIOTS

This week, My phone went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since my phone wasn't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email. I asked him, "Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?"


IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it,
they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi rural area We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars"
and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.


IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? " He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded,
"What on earth are blind people doing driving?"


IDIOT SIGHTING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

Scarey isn't it?

 

[MaryBears]

Just stopping in and catching up on all I missed by not being here yesterday.........great jokes and stories as always. Thanks so much for sharing them.......they can really pick up a persons day. Hope everyone is staying warm and safe.






Warm Huggles to all...........Puddin

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{puddin}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Good to see you.....I am glad that you stop by......Yeah we have good jokes and stories......and that is to cheer everyone up

 

[MaryBears]

And one more not so serious one, (maybe):

IDIOTS

This week, My phone went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since my phone wasn't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email. I asked him, "Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?"


IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it,
they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi rural area We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars"
and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.


IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? " He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded,
"What on earth are blind people doing driving?"


IDIOT SIGHTING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

Scarey isn't it?

Hey Missing ~~~ Thanks for sharing......I really liked them....and thanks for stopping.....hope you have a nice warm day tomorrow.

 

[Puddin36]

Hello {{{{{{{{{{{{{{MaryBears}}}}}}}}}}}}} you are up later than usual tonight, is everything okay??



Puddin

 

[MaryBears]

Hello {{{{{{{{{{{{{{MaryBears}}}}}}}}}}}}} you are up later than usual tonight, is everything okay??



Puddin

{{{{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}}}}}}}}}} No nothings wrong.....I am up at different times.....but tonight i am still up cause i took a nap today.....that is a no no for me.

 

[Puddin36]

{{{{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}}}}}}}}}} No nothings wrong.....I am up at different times.....but tonight i am still up cause i took a nap today.....that is a no no for me.

Good to know that nothing is wrong Mary. Naps can do that to me sometimes too........don't you just hate that. You are so tired and know that you just can't stay awake amd then when it comes time for bed, you just can't fall asleep. Been there done that more times than I care to remember. Good luck falling asleep.


Warm Huggles to all............Puddin

 

[Puddin36]

CAUTION........SPEW ALERT

Blow Hard - This is funny!

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss
them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching
one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut
fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only
pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours
of trying they became worried and decided to go to hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then shoved two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard.
When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man out to the kitchen for something to eat.
Once he was gone the mother turned to the father and said, "That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?"
The father replied, "From the smell of his fingers... our son in-law!"