The Bears Den

[MaryBears]

A little chuckle....

Salvation by Annoyance

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

OMG that was cute......and yes out of mouths of babes......hehe....


My mom has a sign that says "Wonder how much I can do and still make it to heaven" Well MY nephew of the age of 7 years old that just learned to read will quote that to you when he gets into trouble....LOL

 

[kayte]

OMG that was cute......and yes out of mouths of babes......hehe....


My mom has a sign that says "Wonder how much I can do and still make it to heaven" Well MY nephew of the age of 7 years old that just learned to read will quote that to you when he gets into trouble....LOL

Yup, he will.

 

[MaryBears]

Yup, he will.

Yup......They learn so quick.....and always always finds ways out of trouble.....but you got to love 'em

 

[Puddin36]

None that I know either Puddin......And I know what you mean....sometimes you just want a man to hold you in his arms and baby you.....Or at least make your cares go away for a short time

{{{{{{{{{{MaryBears}}}}}}}}}}}} I can so agree with the having a man to just hold you........the rest is nice too.........but the intamacy is the best. Sounds like you had a pretty good day except the darn weather. Stay warm and be careful when you do have to go out.



Warm Huggles to all............Puddin

 

[Puddin36]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}} nice to see you online and posting. Isn't this darn Wisconsin weather something? Gonna be real cold the rest of the week and more snow this weekend. I don't really mind the cold so much as I do the bundling up we have to do when we go outdooors. Sure makes it uncomfortable when strapped into a car. Stay warm and safe when you travel.




Warm Huggles to all..........Puddin

 

[kayte]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}} nice to see you online and posting. Isn't this darn Wisconsin weather something? Gonna be real cold the rest of the week and more snow this weekend. I don't really mind the cold so much as I do the bundling up we have to do when we go outdooors. Sure makes it uncomfortable when strapped into a car. Stay warm and safe when you travel.




Warm Huggles to all..........Puddin

Hi there {{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}} It is nice to see you this evening.

The weather is down right nasty. I know it is January and all, but geeze......

Take care of yourself when you have to go out.

 

[Puddin36]

Hi there {{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}} It is nice to see you this evening.

The weather is down right nasty. I know it is January and all, but geeze......

Take care of yourself when you have to go out.

{{{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}} I agree, this weather is down right nasty........but I hear that Michigan got it even worse. So for that we should be thankful. BTW.........I love your new AV.........that cat looks like it is freezing..........lol Take care and be safe and warm.


Warm Huggles to all..........Puddin

 

[kayte]

{{{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}} I agree, this weather is down right nasty........but I hear that Michigan got it even worse. So for that we should be thankful. BTW.........I love your new AV.........that cat looks like it is freezing..........lol Take care and be safe and warm.


Warm Huggles to all..........Puddin

I am sorry for all the people to the east of us that keep getting walloped.

I do like the AV.

Take care of yourself!! Keep warm sweetie.

 

[kayte]

Dropping off a funny!!!

Fear of Flying

There was a religious woman who had to do a lot of traveling for her business. Flying made her very nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her.

One time, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and smirk and went back to what he was doing.

After awhile, he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"

The woman replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible."

He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?"

She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible."

He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"

The woman said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him."

"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically.

"Then you can ask him," replied the woman.

 

[MaryBears]

{{{{{{{{{{MaryBears}}}}}}}}}}}} I can so agree with the having a man to just hold you........the rest is nice too.........but the intamacy is the best. Sounds like you had a pretty good day except the darn weather. Stay warm and be careful when you do have to go out.



Warm Huggles to all............Puddin

{{{{{{{{{puddin}}}}}}}}}}}}} Hope your doing well....Yes a man can have good plus' .....Had to do laundry today....other than that staying in where it is warm...

 

[MaryBears]

Dropping off a funny!!!

Fear of Flying

There was a religious woman who had to do a lot of traveling for her business. Flying made her very nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her.

One time, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and smirk and went back to what he was doing.

After awhile, he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"

The woman replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible."

He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?"

She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible."

He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"

The woman said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him."

"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically.

"Then you can ask him," replied the woman.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} so glad to see you and thanks for the chuckles.....Keep warm and safe.

 

[MaryBears]

http://images.jokaroo.com/pictures/pussyfun.jpg

 

[MaryBears]

LMAO this is good

When everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven God comes and says,
"I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their
women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their
women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter." With that said and
done the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines.
The line of men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and
in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man. God
said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created, you in my image
and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that
stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!
Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this
line?" and the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

 

[MaryBears]

Now on a more serious note......

Unconditional Love


A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home from
> the war. He called his parents from San Francisco.
> "Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a
> friend I'd like to bring home with me."
> "Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."
>
> "There's something you should know the son continued, "he was
> hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost
> an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to
> come live with us."
>
> "I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live." "No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."
> "Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking, Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."
>
> At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing
> more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from
> the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a
> building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The
> grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the
> city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him,
> but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know,
> their son had only one arm and one leg.
>
> The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love
> those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't
> like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable.
> We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy,
> beautiful, or smart as we are. Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way.
> Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.
>
> Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night, say a little prayer
> that God will give you the strength you need to accept people as
> they are, and to help us all be more understanding of those who are different from us!!!
>
> There's a miracle called Friendship that dwells in the heart, you
> don't know how it happens or when it gets started,but you know the
> special lift It always brings and you realize that friendship is God's
> most precious gift! Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed.
> They make you smile and encourage you to succeed,they lend an
> ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.
>
>
> You now have 2 choices:
>
> 1. Show your friends how much you care....Send this to everyone
> you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you'll know
> you have a friend for life.
>
> 2. Don't send this to anyone and act like it didn't touch your heart.
>

 

[MaryBears]

and another sentimental one.....


I Wish You Enough

Recently, I overheard a Mother and daughter in their last moments together at a regional airport. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and she said, "I love you. I wish you enough."

She in turn said, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom." They kissed and she left.

She walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?"

"Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked.

"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back will be for my funeral" she said.

"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?"

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." She paused for a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, she smiled even more.

"When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," she continued. Then, turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."

She then began to sob and walked away.

My friends and loved ones, I wish you ENOUGH!!!!!! They say "It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them."

Send this phrase to the people you'll never forget and also remember to send it to the person who sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends. Take the time to live!!!

My friends and loved ones, I wish you ENOUGH!!!

 

[xanathos]

HEhe cool stories hon! *hugs*

 

[MaryBears]

HEhe cool stories hon! *hugs*

Thanks sexy......*hugs and kisses*....Hope your doing well

 

[MaryBears]

Good Morning all at the Den


I hope everyone has a great day....looks like another cold one here.....BRRRRRRRR


I am on my way to the doctor to get my toe checked.....Ingrown toenails are a pain in the ass......ooops the foot....hehehe.....I just want to get it checked and get back home where it is WARM.


Take care all See you this evening

 

[catsr2wild]

Now on a more serious note......

Unconditional Love


A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home from
> the war. He called his parents from San Francisco.
> "Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a
> friend I'd like to bring home with me."
> "Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."
>
> "There's something you should know the son continued, "he was
> hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost
> an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to
> come live with us."
>
> "I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live." "No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."
> "Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking, Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."
>
> At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing
> more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from
> the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a
> building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The
> grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the
> city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him,
> but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know,
> their son had only one arm and one leg.
>
> The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love
> those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't
> like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable.
> We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy,
> beautiful, or smart as we are. Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way.
> Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.
>
> Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night, say a little prayer
> that God will give you the strength you need to accept people as
> they are, and to help us all be more understanding of those who are different from us!!!
>
> There's a miracle called Friendship that dwells in the heart, you
> don't know how it happens or when it gets started,but you know the
> special lift It always brings and you realize that friendship is God's
> most precious gift! Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed.
> They make you smile and encourage you to succeed,they lend an
> ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.
>
>
> You now have 2 choices:
>
> 1. Show your friends how much you care....Send this to everyone
> you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you'll know
> you have a friend for life.
>
> 2. Don't send this to anyone and act like it didn't touch your heart.
>

darn it Mary, I come to visit the Bears Den and you make me cry, thank you

 

[kayte]

Good Morning all at the Den


I hope everyone has a great day....looks like another cold one here.....BRRRRRRRR


I am on my way to the doctor to get my toe checked.....Ingrown toenails are a pain in the ass......ooops the foot....hehehe.....I just want to get it checked and get back home where it is WARM.


Take care all See you this evening

Good afternoon {{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}} Take care of that sweetie.

Have some nice warm tea when you get home darlin.

 

[MaryBears]

ONLY A MAN COULD DO THIS


Fart Football

A little old couple prepares to go to bed.

They no sooner hit the pillows when the old man farts and says, "Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"

The old man replied, "It's fart football."

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score.."

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7."

Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."

Now the pressure is on the old man.

He refuses to get beat by a woman, so he strains real hard, but to no avail.

Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got and accidentally craps in the bed.

The wife says, "What the hell was that?"

The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

 

[kayte]

ONLY A MAN COULD DO THIS


Fart Football

A little old couple prepares to go to bed.

They no sooner hit the pillows when the old man farts and says, "Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"

The old man replied, "It's fart football."

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score.."

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7."

Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."

Now the pressure is on the old man.

He refuses to get beat by a woman, so he strains real hard, but to no avail.

Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got and accidentally craps in the bed.

The wife says, "What the hell was that?"

The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

LMAO!!!!!! Now that one does need a *Spew Alert*

 

[MaryBears]

darn it Mary, I come to visit the Bears Den and you make me cry, thank you

aww i am sorry......but thanks for visiting and visit often....we have fun, we laugh, we cry, we joke...etc......


And here is a joke for you all......LMAO



Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?

Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Lady 1: Where did you get it?

Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.

The pharmacist fainted.

 

[MaryBears]

Good afternoon {{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}} Take care of that sweetie.

Have some nice warm tea when you get home darlin.

Good afternoon {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


The assistant, Of whom I went to school with, said that my toe is healing good.....And to sit and let the air get to it.....So i am doing just that......


SORRY kayte.....I hope that you didn't have coffee in you mouth again on that one

 

[kayte]

aww i am sorry......but thanks for visiting and visit often....we have fun, we laugh, we cry, we joke...etc......


And here is a joke for you all......LMAO



Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?

Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Lady 1: Where did you get it?

Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.

The pharmacist fainted.

OMG!!!! That is great!!!

This is definitely the day to not have a drink in your hand or a swallow of something in your mouth when checking out the posts here today.