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Puddin36
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2001
- Posts
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Here are a couple of real nice stories
The Bible in 50 Words!
> >
> >God made
> >Adam bit
> >Noah arked
> >Abraham split
> >Joseph ruled
> >Jacob fooled
> >Bush talked
> >Moses balked
> >Pharaoh plagued
> >People walked
> >Sea divided
> >Tablets guided
> >Promise landed
> >Saul freaked
> >David peeked
> >Prophets warned
> >Jesus born
> >God walked
> > Love talked
> >Anger crucified
> >Hope died
> >Love rose
> >Spirit flamed
> >Word spread
> >God remained.
> >
> >
> >Tag - you're it ......
> >Consider yourself hit by...
> >The Love Of GOD!
> >TAG EVERYONE YOU KNOW
> >BEFORE THEY CAN TAG YOU. TAG SOMEONE TODAY,
> >EXCEPT THE PERSON THAT HIT YOU.
> >SORRY, NO TAG BACKS!
> >
> >Prayers go up, Blessings come down.
The Bible in 50 Words!
> >
> >God made
> >Adam bit
> >Noah arked
> >Abraham split
> >Joseph ruled
> >Jacob fooled
> >Bush talked
> >Moses balked
> >Pharaoh plagued
> >People walked
> >Sea divided
> >Tablets guided
> >Promise landed
> >Saul freaked
> >David peeked
> >Prophets warned
> >Jesus born
> >God walked
> > Love talked
> >Anger crucified
> >Hope died
> >Love rose
> >Spirit flamed
> >Word spread
> >God remained.
> >
> >
> >Tag - you're it ......
> >Consider yourself hit by...
> >The Love Of GOD!
> >TAG EVERYONE YOU KNOW
> >BEFORE THEY CAN TAG YOU. TAG SOMEONE TODAY,
> >EXCEPT THE PERSON THAT HIT YOU.
> >SORRY, NO TAG BACKS!
> >
> >Prayers go up, Blessings come down.
Puddin36
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2001
- Posts
- 1,853
Subject: Fw: Romanian Newspaper Editorial
Subject: From a Romanian Newspaper/ a must read
We rarely get a chance to see another country's editorial
about the USA. Read this excerpt from a Romanian Newspaper. The article was written by Mr. Cornel Nistorescu and published under the
title "C"ntarea Americii meaning "Ode To America") on September 24, 2002 in the Romanian newspaper Evenimentulzilei ("The Daily Event" or "News of the Day").
Why are Americans so united? They would not resemble one
another even if you painted them all one color! They speak
all the languages of the world and form an astonishing
mixture of civilizations and religious beliefs. Still, the
American tragedy turned three hundred million people into a
hand put on the heart. Nobody rushed to accuse the White
House, the army, and the secret services that they are only
a bunch of losers. Nobody rushed to empty their bank
accounts. Nobody rushed out onto the streets nearby to gape
about. The Americans volunteered to donate blood and to
give a helping hand.
After the first moments of panic, they raised their flag
over the smoking ruins, putting on T-shirts, caps and ties
in the colors of the national flag. They placed flags on
buildings and cars as if in every place and on every car a
government official or the president was passing.
On every occasion, they started singing their traditional
song: "God Bless America!" I watched the live broadcast
and rerun after rerun for hours listening to the story of
the guy who went down one hundred floors with a woman in a
wheelchair without knowing who she was, or of the
Californian hockey player, who gave his life fighting with
the terrorists and prevented the plane from hitting a
target that could have killed other hundreds or thousands
of people.
How on earth were they able to respond united as one human
being? Imperceptibly, with every word and musical note,
the memory of some turned into a modern myth of tragic
heroes. And with every phone call, millions and millions
of dollars were put in a collection aimed at rewarding not a
man or a family, but a spirit, which no money can buy.
What on earth can unite the Americans in such a way? Their
land? Their galloping history? Their economic Power?
Money? I tried for hours to find an answer, humming songs
and murmuring phrases with the risk of sounding
commonplace.
I thought things over, but I reached only one
conclusion...Only freedom can work such miracles.
[This deserves to be passed around the Internet forever.]
Subject: From a Romanian Newspaper/ a must read
We rarely get a chance to see another country's editorial
about the USA. Read this excerpt from a Romanian Newspaper. The article was written by Mr. Cornel Nistorescu and published under the
title "C"ntarea Americii meaning "Ode To America") on September 24, 2002 in the Romanian newspaper Evenimentulzilei ("The Daily Event" or "News of the Day").
Why are Americans so united? They would not resemble one
another even if you painted them all one color! They speak
all the languages of the world and form an astonishing
mixture of civilizations and religious beliefs. Still, the
American tragedy turned three hundred million people into a
hand put on the heart. Nobody rushed to accuse the White
House, the army, and the secret services that they are only
a bunch of losers. Nobody rushed to empty their bank
accounts. Nobody rushed out onto the streets nearby to gape
about. The Americans volunteered to donate blood and to
give a helping hand.
After the first moments of panic, they raised their flag
over the smoking ruins, putting on T-shirts, caps and ties
in the colors of the national flag. They placed flags on
buildings and cars as if in every place and on every car a
government official or the president was passing.
On every occasion, they started singing their traditional
song: "God Bless America!" I watched the live broadcast
and rerun after rerun for hours listening to the story of
the guy who went down one hundred floors with a woman in a
wheelchair without knowing who she was, or of the
Californian hockey player, who gave his life fighting with
the terrorists and prevented the plane from hitting a
target that could have killed other hundreds or thousands
of people.
How on earth were they able to respond united as one human
being? Imperceptibly, with every word and musical note,
the memory of some turned into a modern myth of tragic
heroes. And with every phone call, millions and millions
of dollars were put in a collection aimed at rewarding not a
man or a family, but a spirit, which no money can buy.
What on earth can unite the Americans in such a way? Their
land? Their galloping history? Their economic Power?
Money? I tried for hours to find an answer, humming songs
and murmuring phrases with the risk of sounding
commonplace.
I thought things over, but I reached only one
conclusion...Only freedom can work such miracles.
[This deserves to be passed around the Internet forever.]
Puddin36
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2001
- Posts
- 1,853
A group of frogs were traveling through the woods,
and two of them fell into a deep pit.
All the other frogs gathered around the pit.
When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the
unfortunate frogs they would never get out.
The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to
jump up out of the pit.
The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they
were as good as dead.
Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other
frogs were saying and simply gave up. He fell down
and died. The other frog continued to jump as hard
as he could
Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop
the pain and suffering and just die. He jumped even
harder and finally made it out.
When he got out, the other frogs asked him,
"Why did you continue jumping? Didn't you hear us?"
The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He
thought they were encouraging him the entire time.
This story teaches two lessons:
1. There is power of life and death in the tongue.
An encouraging word to someone who is down can
lift them up and help them make it through the day.
2. A destructive word to someone who is down can
be what it takes to kill them. Be careful of what you
say. Speak life to those who cross your path.
The power of words ... it is sometimes hard to
understand that an encouraging word can go such a long
way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another
of the spirit to continue in difficult times.
Special is the individual who will take the time to
encourage another. Be special to others. Send this to
someone you like.
I DID.
and two of them fell into a deep pit.
All the other frogs gathered around the pit.
When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the
unfortunate frogs they would never get out.
The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to
jump up out of the pit.
The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they
were as good as dead.
Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other
frogs were saying and simply gave up. He fell down
and died. The other frog continued to jump as hard
as he could
Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop
the pain and suffering and just die. He jumped even
harder and finally made it out.
When he got out, the other frogs asked him,
"Why did you continue jumping? Didn't you hear us?"
The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He
thought they were encouraging him the entire time.
This story teaches two lessons:
1. There is power of life and death in the tongue.
An encouraging word to someone who is down can
lift them up and help them make it through the day.
2. A destructive word to someone who is down can
be what it takes to kill them. Be careful of what you
say. Speak life to those who cross your path.
The power of words ... it is sometimes hard to
understand that an encouraging word can go such a long
way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another
of the spirit to continue in difficult times.
Special is the individual who will take the time to
encourage another. Be special to others. Send this to
someone you like.
I DID.
Puddin36
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2001
- Posts
- 1,853
Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
THE BRICK
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood
street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar.
He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed
down when he thought he saw something.
As his car passed, no children appeared.
Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the
brick had been thrown.
The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and
pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who
are you?
Just what the heck are you doing?
That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of
money. Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic.
"Please, mister...please , I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,"
He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop.." With tears
dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around
a parked car. "It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out
of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up"
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help
me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling
lump in his throat.
He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then
took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts.
A quick look told him everything was going to be okay..
"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.
Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his
wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar.
The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair
the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message
"Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get
your attention!"
God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we
don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to
listen or not.
Thought for the Day:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning.
Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!
Send this to every "beautiful person" you wish to bless. God didn't
promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did
promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way
Pass this message to seven people except you and me.
You will receive a miracle tomorrow (just do it)!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
THE BRICK
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood
street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar.
He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed
down when he thought he saw something.
As his car passed, no children appeared.
Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the
brick had been thrown.
The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and
pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who
are you?
Just what the heck are you doing?
That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of
money. Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic.
"Please, mister...please , I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,"
He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop.." With tears
dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around
a parked car. "It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out
of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up"
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help
me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling
lump in his throat.
He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then
took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts.
A quick look told him everything was going to be okay..
"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.
Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his
wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar.
The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair
the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message
"Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get
your attention!"
God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we
don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to
listen or not.
Thought for the Day:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning.
Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!
Send this to every "beautiful person" you wish to bless. God didn't
promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did
promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way
Pass this message to seven people except you and me.
You will receive a miracle tomorrow (just do it)!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Puddin36
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2001
- Posts
- 1,853
Fw: Leave it to the Newfie
> > A girl created a device to cause any car that passed in
> > front of her house to suddenly break down but couldn't
> > find any practical way to profit from it. So, thinking
> > clearly, she set up the device, and as the cars passed
> > the house and broke down, she'd offer the man in the car
> > a place to stay for the night. Then, as soon as the man
> > was asleep, he'd be jarred awake by her with his penis
> > in her mouth, and she'd hold a sign up saying "$50
> > or I'll bite...hard!" Of course, usually the guy would
> > pay and she'd let him go.
> >
> > Well one day a Newfoundlander broke down, and had to
> > stay the night. Sure enough, he felt something between
> > his legs at night, and there she is with him in her
> > mouth and holding the sign, "$50 or I'll bite."
> >
> >
> > The Newfoundlander just smiled and said "$100 or I'll
> > piss!"
>
>
> > A girl created a device to cause any car that passed in
> > front of her house to suddenly break down but couldn't
> > find any practical way to profit from it. So, thinking
> > clearly, she set up the device, and as the cars passed
> > the house and broke down, she'd offer the man in the car
> > a place to stay for the night. Then, as soon as the man
> > was asleep, he'd be jarred awake by her with his penis
> > in her mouth, and she'd hold a sign up saying "$50
> > or I'll bite...hard!" Of course, usually the guy would
> > pay and she'd let him go.
> >
> > Well one day a Newfoundlander broke down, and had to
> > stay the night. Sure enough, he felt something between
> > his legs at night, and there she is with him in her
> > mouth and holding the sign, "$50 or I'll bite."
> >
> >
> > The Newfoundlander just smiled and said "$100 or I'll
> > piss!"
>
>
Puddin36
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2001
- Posts
- 1,853
MaryBears said:{{{{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}}}}}}}} I do hope that your having a wonderful evening......Glad to see you back in here....Hope you leave a few jokes.....but most of all have fun....Laughter is definately the best medicine.....
{{{{{{{{{{{MaryBears}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thanks for the warm welcome home. I do feel that the Den is my home away from home. I left a couple of good stories and a few jokes.......hope they all put a smile in someones heart.
Warm Huggles to one and all...........Puddin
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
LMAO!!!!!!!
The Red Head
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man.
He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
Oh my, I am so sorry, " the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you, " she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.
They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! ! Everything had been SO incredible! !! !
"You know, " he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? "
"No, " she replies. . . . . . . . . "
Wait for it. .
It's coming. .
The suspense is killing you, isn't it?
She says :
"You just happened to catch my eye. "
(oh shut up, I just forward them, I don't write them! )
The Red Head
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man.
He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
Oh my, I am so sorry, " the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you, " she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.
They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! ! Everything had been SO incredible! !! !
"You know, " he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? "
"No, " she replies. . . . . . . . . "
Wait for it. .
It's coming. .
The suspense is killing you, isn't it?
She says :
"You just happened to catch my eye. "
(oh shut up, I just forward them, I don't write them! )
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
another chuckle......
A woman and her boyfriend are out for New Years having a few
drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time
together she starts talking about this really great new drink.
The more she talks about it the more excited she gets, and
starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.
After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him.
The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the
bar -- a salt shaker, a shot of Baileys and a shot of lime
juice.
The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman
explains.
"First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink
the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you
drink the lime juice."
So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for
it. He puts the salt on his tongue -- salty but OK. He drinks
the shot of Baileys - smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He
thinks - this is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and
drinks it .... in one second the sharp lime taste hits... at
two seconds the Baileys curdles... at three seconds the salty
curdled bitter taste hits. This triggers his gag reflex but
being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he
swallows the now nasty drink. When he finally chokes it down
he turns to his girlfriend.
She smiles widely at him and says, "So, how did you like it?
It's called 'Blow Job's Revenge.'"
A woman and her boyfriend are out for New Years having a few
drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time
together she starts talking about this really great new drink.
The more she talks about it the more excited she gets, and
starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.
After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him.
The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the
bar -- a salt shaker, a shot of Baileys and a shot of lime
juice.
The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman
explains.
"First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink
the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you
drink the lime juice."
So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for
it. He puts the salt on his tongue -- salty but OK. He drinks
the shot of Baileys - smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He
thinks - this is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and
drinks it .... in one second the sharp lime taste hits... at
two seconds the Baileys curdles... at three seconds the salty
curdled bitter taste hits. This triggers his gag reflex but
being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he
swallows the now nasty drink. When he finally chokes it down
he turns to his girlfriend.
She smiles widely at him and says, "So, how did you like it?
It's called 'Blow Job's Revenge.'"
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
AND another.....LMAO
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves
assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Although initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the
two are tired and fall asleep quickly -- he in the upper bunk and
she in the lower.
At 2:00 a.m., he leans over and gently wakes the woman, saying,
"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach
into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's
pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.
"Good," she replies. "Get your own fucking blanket."
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves
assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Although initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the
two are tired and fall asleep quickly -- he in the upper bunk and
she in the lower.
At 2:00 a.m., he leans over and gently wakes the woman, saying,
"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach
into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's
pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.
"Good," she replies. "Get your own fucking blanket."
Puddin36
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2001
- Posts
- 1,853
MaryBears said:Your very welcome {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{puddin}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} And thanks for the funnies and the poems.....very nice...I liked the last one...hehe....
You too are very welcome {{{{{{{{{MaryBears}}}}}}}}}}}}}.
Glad that you liked what I had posted. I loved the "eyeball" story, that was priceless. I just have to tell u why. My ex-husband is totally blind and has 2 false eyes.........he would have loved this joke. Hope that you and everyone had a great day. We are having a hell of a snow storm here. Hopefully it will end soon.
Do you know why women compare sex to snow.........cuz they never know how many inches they will get or how long it will last!!
Warm Huggles to all.............Puddin
Puddin36
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2001
- Posts
- 1,853
MaryBears said:{{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Glad you liked my jokes today.....And as for me I wouldn't care how many inches and for how long i was getting a man......Damn just give me a man so I can have the fun of making out....
I totally agree with ya Mary.........just give me a man. I would be happy if all he did was hold me. For some reason they haven't invented a toy that can do that.........that I am aware of anyway. LOL
Warm Huggles to all............Puddin
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
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- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
kayte said:Good moning {{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}
Keep yourself warm and take care. It is another winter day here in WI, snow, wind, hope things are going better for you!!!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
You keep yourself warm and take care also.....IT is a very winter day here....we have ice and freezing rain switching over to snow.....UGGGGH
I was suppose to go get my eyes tested but I am cancelling and rescheduling....Not going to risk breaking a bone or worse joints.
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
MaryBears said:{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
You keep yourself warm and take care also.....IT is a very winter day here....we have ice and freezing rain switching over to snow.....UGGGGH
I was suppose to go get my eyes tested but I am cancelling and rescheduling....Not going to risk breaking a bone or worse joints.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}}}}
That is definitely the best thing to do. Just stay in and warm.
When the ice is first, it makes it so much harder for the road crews to clean it up too....
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
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- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
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kayte said:{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}}}}
That is definitely the best thing to do. Just stay in and warm.
When the ice is first, it makes it so much harder for the road crews to clean it up too....
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Yes i know....and it makes it rough on everyone.....
I am going to have my neice and nephew so I will not be on much today.....they are on there way now.....
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
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- Apr 11, 2003
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- 23,590
Lil Johnny's in trouble again....
Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby.
Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears.
When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited
Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Little
Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to
say about the baby. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with
Little Johnny before going to the neighbors. He said, "Now, son...that
poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your
best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really
going to spank your butt when we get back home." I promise not to mention
his ears at all," said Little Johnny.
At the neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand.
He looked at it's mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!" The mother,
who had braced herself for Johnny's comment, was pleasantly
surprised and said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny."
He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect
little feet. Why, just look at his pretty little eyes! Did his doctor say he
can see good?" The mother a bit bewildered, hesitantly replies "Why,
yes... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision, why do you ask?" Little Johnny
said, "Well, it's a good thing, cause he'd be fucked if he needed to
wear glasses".
Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby.
Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears.
When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited
Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Little
Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to
say about the baby. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with
Little Johnny before going to the neighbors. He said, "Now, son...that
poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your
best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really
going to spank your butt when we get back home." I promise not to mention
his ears at all," said Little Johnny.
At the neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand.
He looked at it's mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!" The mother,
who had braced herself for Johnny's comment, was pleasantly
surprised and said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny."
He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect
little feet. Why, just look at his pretty little eyes! Did his doctor say he
can see good?" The mother a bit bewildered, hesitantly replies "Why,
yes... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision, why do you ask?" Little Johnny
said, "Well, it's a good thing, cause he'd be fucked if he needed to
wear glasses".
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
MaryBears said:{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Yes i know....and it makes it rough on everyone.....
I am going to have my neice and nephew so I will not be on much today.....they are on there way now.....
{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}} Hope you had a good day, and they didn't wear you out!!!
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
A little chuckle....
Salvation by Annoyance
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
Salvation by Annoyance
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
kayte said:{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}} Hope you had a good day, and they didn't wear you out!!!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Yes I have had a good day.....No they didn't wear me out...they are 13 (boy) and 7 (girl) so they was not a big problem.....the girl was so funny.....and she had all my stuffed bears out on the bed playing with them......She had a blast...in fact she didn't want to go home- Status
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