The beauty of submissive men

[eroticspank]

Well, she is a biologist by profession, and she is experienced in studying animal behavior. She saw that I was very fixed on my sexual needs, but she made it clear that she would be calling all the shots. She had such a laser-focused attention that I readily agreed with this arrangement. I did my best to return her focused attention with my own, but I was always somewhat distracted because I would be thinking about how much I wanted to get inside her.

She noticed this one evening when we were talking in her living room, so she told me to strip and masturbate in front of her until I ejaculated, while she observed me like behaviorist from a distance. I wrote about this in an earlier post. As I related, I did just what she told me to do, ending up on the floor of her living room with semen cupped in my hand so I would not mess up her floor.

She just observed. After I got cleaned up and dressed, she said, "Go home now", which I did. I felt rather hollow, despite what had been a very strong orgasm that had required me to overcome her cool and clothed observation, while she offered zero feedback or involvement.

About a week later, out of the blue, after wondering for days if she was done with me, she called and told me to come over to her place because she was "hungry". I could tell what that meant from her tone. I drove over. She told me exactly what to do, and ultimately she let me cum inside her. It was just sheer bliss to be rewarded in this way.

We had a number of similar encounters, where I was admonished for trying to initiate sex or for being distracted instead of giving her my full attention, but rewarded when I had no expectation and was either involved in doing my own thing or paying full attention to what she was saying.

After about a year of that, when making sleeping arrangements on a camping trip, she mentioned in a dispassionate way, "You are the type of person who needs quite a bit of affection". I think neither of us considered ourselves to be affection seekers, but right at that moment, it dawned on me that I was seeking affection even more than sex.

I don't think I would have learned that lesson, and a number of other revelations about my personality, with a submissive partner.

Thanks that is a great explanation!

ES

 

[Veroe]

I don't think I would have learned that lesson, and a number of other revelations about my personality, with a submissive partner.

That's what I find so fascinating about BDSM, whether involving male or female submission, all the chains and whips and disciplining are just superficial tools to reveal levels of both domme and submissive that wouldn't be plumbed otherwise.

Great story, Coati.

 

[eroticspank]

That's what I find so fascinating about BDSM, whether involving male or female submission, all the chains and whips and disciplining are just superficial tools to reveal levels of both domme and submissive that wouldn't be plumbed otherwise.

Great story, Coati.

That is VERY well said Veroe! Happy New Year everyone.

ES

 

[Veroe]

That is VERY well said Veroe! Happy New Year everyone.

ES

Happy New Years to you too, ES.

 

[irishblade]

I'm a submissive man but there's nothing beautiful about it if you're not with the right partner. I have to be the dominant, take charge partner during sex. It'd be nice if I could be me as that's a role I almost dread and am quite lousy at if we are being honest.

 

[NaughtyRobbie67]

I'm moving more to embrace my dominant side, and the more I read the more I realise there is a huge disconnect between the image of Femdom and what the majority of dominant women want.

Femdom porn leaves me completely cold, and it wasn't until I stumbled upon blogs and tumblers celebrating the beauty of submissive men and read others thoughts on the matter, that I realised why.

In my view Femdom porn completely dehumanises the dynamic and reduces the Domme to a latex clad boot wearing 2 dimensional cut out figure(not that there is anything wrong with latex and boots if you enjoy them, but it should not be a requirement ) ... And completely
leaves the woman and her pleasure out of the picture.

So here I want to share, and ask others to share, links and discussions and pictures that celebrate the dominant woman and submissive man in a beautiful way.

No sneering ice queens and worthless worms please!

I agree...100% of all femdon porn is geared to protray the women as saditic uncaring mirrioring their male counterparts of the past who believed women were the property of men to do as they pleased so if a woman didn't submit to husband or father...he was free to abuse her however he liked ..plus femdom porn is written to incorporate S/m as the sexual style even to very cooperative subs...now this may be part of the lifestyle but by no means does it represent the majority about there. ..it's as if they want to show dommies as men haters who take this opportunity to break a man completely of his hetrosexual man card... now that's reinforced by our friends who belittle men with the label "pussy whipped" ..and pressured to stop so they won't be expected to gl act as same anytime in the future. ...not that they never show kindness.compassion.affection or respect, to women...they don't have to to give it always or even at all and get little backlash from society backed up by centuries of same behavior successfully getting.. results...and women reinforce that by continuing to give power away..just like centuries of other women have......now I see the disfunction working because the one piece of advice to get women
that I've been given time and time again was to treat ber like shit...and she will keep voming back for more.....well I can't believe that is..LOVE...I don't know how else to put it......I do know that when I'm pussy whipped...I m at my happiness if it's return back by her ..I never felt good in any way treating a woman badly nor by being treated that way.....now femdon producers have a limited time to tell the tale so I'm sure that's another reason to shoot it the way they do.so they can show a lot of fetishes for the largest consumers (men) and were wired to the visual kink ....

 

[Veroe]

The stereotype of the dome is one of a man-hater or ice queen. That's the image everyone in the mainstream has of them. Most guys outside of the BDSM lifestyle if they pick up a girl in bar and find out that she likes to get really kinky, like fifty shades of grey kinky, but likes to be the one with the flogger would run away screaming.

That's solely because of the reputation and frankly abysmal PR problem Femdom has with those outside the lifestyle. They have a fairly ugly and scary view of Femdom. They don't see any beauty to it because there is no fifty shades of grey for femdom. All they see is the ugly and scary stuff which is a gross misrepresentation.

(That's part of why I contribute to a picture thread over in the SRP lounge dedicated to showing my fellow Sexual Roleplayers over there a much more fair and balanced representation of the female dominant. Hopefully I can open someone's mind the way reading the Vampire Queen's Servant opened mine.)

 

[The_gladiator]

you are always so well spoken veroe.
I also feel like the there is more acceptance of the daddy dom, little girl relationship in our society than the other way around. there just seems to be more negativity to younger men with older more experienced women

 

[eroticspank]

That's solely because of the reputation and frankly abysmal PR problem Femdom has with those outside the lifestyle. They have a fairly ugly and scary view of Femdom. They don't see any beauty to it because there is no fifty shades of grey for femdom. All they see is the ugly and scary stuff which is a gross misrepresentation.

(That's part of why I contribute to a picture thread over in the SRP lounge dedicated to showing my fellow Sexual Roleplayers over there a much more fair and balanced representation of the female dominant. Hopefully I can open someone's mind the way reading the Vampire Queen's Servant opened mine.)

Your words are true and that is sad. The good news is you are one of many trying to change that.

ES

 

[Veroe]

you are always so well spoken veroe.
I also feel like the there is more acceptance of the daddy dom, little girl relationship in our society than the other way around. there just seems to be more negativity to younger men with older more experienced women

Well spoken...me?

Thank you my friend.

As for the Daddy Dom thing...I find it a little chauvinistic and it kinda creeps me out. Just a grown woman being treated like a five year old by an older guy even in the bedroom, just doesn't sit well with me. I know it really isn't child molestation and only roleplay, I do, but its too close to that for me...and that creeps me out about it.

I know there are plenty of women and men who adhere to this particular kink who would vehemently disagree with me and find it beautiful, and that's great for them, but I can't.

I'd have the same problem if the gender's reversed too.

 

[Veroe]

Your words are true and that is sad. The good news is you are one of many trying to change that.

ES

Agreed. That is the perception ES but at least we both know its not really the reality.

 

[The_gladiator]

Well spoken...me?

Thank you my friend.

As for the Daddy Dom thing...I find it a little chauvinistic and it kinda creeps me out. Just a grown woman being treated like a five year old by an older guy even in the bedroom, just doesn't sit well with me. I know it really isn't child molestation and only roleplay, I do, but its too close to that for me...and that creeps me out about it.

I know there are plenty of women and men who adhere to this particular kink who would vehemently disagree with me and find it beautiful, and that's great for them, but I can't.

I'd have the same problem if the gender's reversed too.

its a tough fetish for many to accept. but I do see more acceptance of it with the older man younger woman than the younger man older woman, so the double standard even follows to that type of relationship as well.

 

[Veroe]

its a tough fetish for many to accept. but I do see more acceptance of it with the older man younger woman than the younger man older woman, so the double standard even follows to that type of relationship as well.

I have no problem with others if that is what floats their boats. My problem is it creeps me out individually. If it doesn't for other people that's cool.

 

[The_gladiator]

I have no problem with others if that is what floats their boats. My problem is it creeps me out individually. If it doesn't for other people that's cool.

fair enough. I think we all have things like that, that just creep us out.

 

[grandprix1041]

Being dominated by a woman is something I've often fantasized about but have never experienced. Obviously it would have to be someone I trusted completely.

 

[Veroe]

It isn't the only fantasy I have, but being dominated by a woman is a common one for me.

 

[twister947]

The first step is submission...

 

[amylin456]

The first step is submission...

and that involves ... ??????

 

[twister947]

and that involves ... ??????

A re-booting of Self. A change of attitude. It means a change of focus from what I want to what she wants. No more trying to get her to do things that are completely against her nature. It means casting off a lifetime of "take charge" conditioning, and leaving space for her to exert her authority, if that's her wish.

 

[Veroe]

The best most ideal situation would be what she wants is what he wants as well. That's the best case scenario of course.

Say the male submissive has a fantasy involving anal sex. So what does the female dominant do if she isn't into anal sex. Does she ignore it? Does she get angry at him? Does she humiliate or beat him for selfishly wanting something she does not? Or does she take ownership of it? Once learning her submissive has this fantasy does she research anal sex to learn more about it? Does she ask him questions to learn what specifically about it appeals to him? Does she decide to grant him his fantasy eventhough it is not really shared by her? Does she do so in a way that she controls entirely say first with a blindfold some directed visualization and one of those sex toys of some pornstar's ass? And then does she have him fuck her ass but only if she is in complete control of the scenario despite her feelings about Anal sex so the fulfillment of his fantasy is a result that ultimately empowers her?

My opinion of dominance is that it involves the woman being in control no matter what the scenario involves. Even if that scenario is not one she desires. I don't subscribe to the thinking that if a woman is in charge of the relationship she gets everything she selfishly desires, and the man must turn away from his desires if they don't coincide with hers. I believe a healthy relationship should not involve the suppression of the man's desires but the finely controlled realization of them.

 

[eroticspank]

The best most ideal situation would be what she wants is what he wants as well. That's the best case scenario of course.

My opinion of dominance is that it involves the woman being in control no matter what the scenario involves. Even if that scenario is not one she desires. I don't subscribe to the thinking that if a woman is in charge of the relationship she gets everything she selfishly desires, and the man must turn away from his desires if they don't coincide with hers. I believe a healthy relationship should not involve the suppression of the man's desires but the finely controlled realization of them.

I am surprised your comment has not led to a lot of discussion on this. It is a great point. I agree with your opinion and believe in most cases the Domme and sub have different desires and or fantasies, which is true in any vanilla relationship.

Finding or exploring the sub's desires just tells you more about that person physically as well as what is in their head. It does not mean that the "Domme" is becoming less of a Domme by looking at interests of the sub. In fact, I see it as the opposite. Knowing all you can about your sub, makes you a better Domme in my opinion and helps you get into his head.

In any relationship both people bring interests, likes, and dislikes that are not shared by their partner. As part of a healthy relationship, talking and communicating you begin to see through your partner's eyes as to why he or she likes/dislikes what she does. It makes sense and in some cases you find yourself enjoying something you would have never done by yourself because your partner is passionate about it. As a result, you end up discovering new things you can do together as a couple, your interests become more similar and you understand each other better. Sure you are still individuals so there will always be some things you don't share a common interest in. But those are the things you do separately or you do with your partner because mainly because you love him/her.

I see this same scenario in D/s bedroom play.

ES

 

[NoJo]

Scratch me, and most male submissives I've come across, you'll find someone who doesn't want to be responsible, and has pretty low self-esteem.

I like being tied up and having my wallet raped. The former frees me from the responsibility of being a schmuck in having my wallet raped. The latter makes me feel useful and valued.

Altogether, it's a lot of fun, until I get a text from the bank.

 

[Erochic]

I blanked out because hawt, and forgot to add this:

Ooooh, I might have to reward you with a spanking for saying CASTLE. Starting the series over because NATHANHOTDAMNITSCAPTAINNOPANTSHNNNG

Yeah, this'll keep me busy.

Oh god I LOVE Castle!! I hadn't really thought about why I find the relationship so sexy and arousing ... But I think Eroticspank really had something there.

Actually there are hints of her proclivities though it's never spelled out ... And his reactions are wonderful you can tell she's in charge in the bedroom and he loves it.

 

[eroticspank]

Oh god I LOVE Castle!! I hadn't really thought about why I find the relationship so sexy and arousing ... But I think Eroticspank really had something there.

Actually there are hints of her proclivities though it's never spelled out ... And his reactions are wonderful you can tell she's in charge in the bedroom and he loves it.

Welcome back Erochic! It has been a while. It is always great to read your comments and thoughts. Yes I have imagined many times what those two do in the bedroom, I bet there is some D/s. CASTLE is a fun series.

ES

 

[Veroe]

Welcome back Erochic.

I don't watch Castle. Though I do love Nathan Fillion, and have enjoyed several episodes I've seen in reruns. Its just I get really upset with ALL the procedurals that get a little cookie cutter and really predictable on network television.

I haven't seen enough of the dynamic between the characters to speculate whether either of them needs a safeword behind closed doors.