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Pinktacokitty said:
Just wondering if BBB drinks Dos Equis when he drinks beer cause he is the most interesting man on this forum.......:D:D:D:D
Click to expand...

I'm a wino.

IhateClowns said:
I am all of a sudden a fan of naps. Both for me and other people.

It was good to see my friends and family this past weekend.

There is no better time than my friends and I sitting on the deck, drinking beer and just bullshitting and reminiscing about old times. I am sure the stories have been told 100's if not 1000's of times but they still leave me laughing and wiping away tears. Each one of us gets our thrashing but it is all done with love.

Today is the birthday of someone very close to me who passed away. I miss him terribly. He isn't replaced nor will he ever be forgotten. I love you and miss you.


My dad apologized to me this weekend and gave me his 5 year sobriety coin. First time he ever actually said he was sorry. It was both awkward and surreal. You beg god over an over growing up to make it end. Ask him to get help. Then he does and you resent him for not apologizing for the bullshit he put you through and the things he missed out on. You live with that resentment all of your life and then ALL OF A SUDDEN he apologizes. I wasn't sure what to make of it. It was awkward. I know he meant it and I accepted it. I think. Fuck I don't know. It is just odd he wants to actively be apart of my life. I am tryin to wrap my head around it all but all I keep coming back to is all the shit he has missed out on. So did I really forgive him?
Click to expand...

My friend, you are lucky. My father never sobered up, never got help, never apologized, all he did was die. Unsolicited advice: be happy and proud he's sober and gave you his 5 year coin, let it go, forgive him, know that you would want the same from your son.

IhateClowns said:
I agree. He is the man and all of us are just lucky to be in his presence.
Click to expand...

Oh stop.

I am lucky to have all the friends I have here.
 
BradBigBrain said:
I'm a wino.



My friend, you are lucky. My father never sobered up, never got help, never apologized, all he did was die. Unsolicited advice: be happy and proud he's sober and gave you his 5 year coin, let it go, forgive him, know that you would want the same from your son.



Oh stop.

I am lucky to have all the friends I have here.
Click to expand...
Don't be so humble, you know you love the attention.........:heart::heart::):):)
 
BradBigBrain said:
I'm a wino.



My friend, you are lucky. My father never sobered up, never got help, never apologized, all he did was die. Unsolicited advice: be happy and proud he's sober and gave you his 5 year coin, let it go, forgive him, know that you would want the same from your son.



Oh stop.

I am lucky to have all the friends I have here.
Click to expand...

I think for me it is the randomness and surprise of it all. The way it happened. I pictured that if it ever happened it would do do in a different manner than the way it took place. I guess I should just concentrate on the apology and less on the other bullshit surrounding it.
 
IhateClowns said:
My dad apologized to me this weekend and gave me his 5 year sobriety coin. First time he ever actually said he was sorry. It was both awkward and surreal. You beg god over an over growing up to make it end. Ask him to get help. Then he does and you resent him for not apologizing for the bullshit he put you through and the things he missed out on. You live with that resentment all of your life and then ALL OF A SUDDEN he apologizes. I wasn't sure what to make of it. It was awkward. I know he meant it and I accepted it. I think. Fuck I don't know. It is just odd he wants to actively be apart of my life. I am tryin to wrap my head around it all but all I keep coming back to is all the shit he has missed out on. So did I really forgive him?
Click to expand...

Will you feel better if he misses more?

Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong....so Ghandhi said. :rose:
 
IhateClowns said:
I am all of a sudden a fan of naps. Both for me and other people.

It was good to see my friends and family this past weekend.

There is no better time than my friends and I sitting on the deck, drinking beer and just bullshitting and reminiscing about old times. I am sure the stories have been told 100's if not 1000's of times but they still leave me laughing and wiping away tears. Each one of us gets our thrashing but it is all done with love.

Today is the birthday of someone very close to me who passed away. I miss him terribly. He isn't replaced nor will he ever be forgotten. I love you and miss you.


My dad apologized to me this weekend and gave me his 5 year sobriety coin. First time he ever actually said he was sorry. It was both awkward and surreal. You beg god over an over growing up to make it end. Ask him to get help. Then he does and you resent him for not apologizing for the bullshit he put you through and the things he missed out on. You live with that resentment all of your life and then ALL OF A SUDDEN he apologizes. I wasn't sure what to make of it. It was awkward. I know he meant it and I accepted it. I think. Fuck I don't know. It is just odd he wants to actively be apart of my life. I am tryin to wrap my head around it all but all I keep coming back to is all the shit he has missed out on. So did I really forgive him?
Click to expand...

Forgiveness is a very hard thing to grant when someone has hurt you, especially someone from whom you expect unconditional love.

None of my business, of course, but life is short, Clowns. He has a grandbaby now and it may be that he is reaching out to you at this particular point in time because he wants to (maybe?) make up for that lost time with you. It won't be easy for you, but it probably wasn't easy for him to summon up the courage to apologize to you after all this time, either. My prayers to you both.:heart:
 
Pinktacokitty said:
Don't be so humble, you know you love the attention.........:heart::heart::):):)
Click to expand...

Yep. I do. :rose: :kiss:

IhateClowns said:
I think for me it is the randomness and surprise of it all. The way it happened. I pictured that if it ever happened it would do do in a different manner than the way it took place. I guess I should just concentrate on the apology and less on the other bullshit surrounding it.
Click to expand...

QFT.
 
BradBigBrain said:
My friend, you are lucky. My father never sobered up, never got help, never apologized, all he did was die. Unsolicited advice: be happy and proud he's sober and gave you his 5 year coin, let it go, forgive him, know that you would want the same from your son.
Click to expand...

Clowns, I grew up with a father who was a recovering alcoholic. I never went through what you did. I do, however, have a now adult daughter, and both of my parents are dead.

Sweetie, as much as it hurts, life is too short to hang on to the wrongs. Be angry with him, but then let it go. If it helps, set your mind to this being the beginning of a whole new relationship. What happened before was a different person. In a lot of ways, it was a different person.

You will make mistakes in this journey called parenthood. We all do. It's sort of expected. You're doing the best that you can, and so did your dad. He definitely screwed up, but I doubt that any parent deliberately sets out to ruin their relationship with their kids. Who knows his reasons for what he did; he probably doesn't even know them. Just remember he was doing the best he could at the time. It's very likely that nobody will ever know the demons that drove him to seek refuge in a bottle.

As Brad so wisely pointed out, the day will come that you'll ask your son for forgiveness for something. Treat your dad now the way you hope your son will respond to you when it becomes your turn. Your dad won't be here with you forever; both of my parents died when I was 38. Don't let your memories of them be regrets for not allowing him to heal the wounds between you.

*hugs*
 
IhateClowns said:
I am all of a sudden a fan of naps. Both for me and other people.

It was good to see my friends and family this past weekend.

There is no better time than my friends and I sitting on the deck, drinking beer and just bullshitting and reminiscing about old times. I am sure the stories have been told 100's if not 1000's of times but they still leave me laughing and wiping away tears. Each one of us gets our thrashing but it is all done with love.

Today is the birthday of someone very close to me who passed away. I miss him terribly. He isn't replaced nor will he ever be forgotten. I love you and miss you.


My dad apologized to me this weekend and gave me his 5 year sobriety coin. First time he ever actually said he was sorry. It was both awkward and surreal. You beg god over an over growing up to make it end. Ask him to get help. Then he does and you resent him for not apologizing for the bullshit he put you through and the things he missed out on. You live with that resentment all of your life and then ALL OF A SUDDEN he apologizes. I wasn't sure what to make of it. It was awkward. I know he meant it and I accepted it. I think. Fuck I don't know. It is just odd he wants to actively be apart of my life. I am tryin to wrap my head around it all but all I keep coming back to is all the shit he has missed out on. So did I really forgive him?
Click to expand...

IHC apologizing is not the same as making amends for the wrong that has been done, accepting that apology doesn't mean you are ready to let go of everything right now. So take it as a beginning and an opportunity to talk about all that is still going on in your head, do it for yourself.

I have been sober for over 24 years, the first 10 years of my daughter's life was not the best any little girl deserved, when I got sober I wasn't a mom who was there I was busy working, going to school and trying to stay sober that she was still not the top priority in my life that she deserved. It took me 10 years of being sober to apologize and she wasn't ready to hear it, pissed me off, I gave her the time she needed. Finally she confronted me and we talked and talked and worked on a true and loving relationship. She was there for me when I got my 20 year token and God willing I will be around to have her there to see me get my 25 year token. Today, she and I have an amazing relationship, I hit my knees everyday in thanks and prayer for that opportunity.

Sobriety is a gift I work at everyday, my family is now willing to accept me for who I am today. It was not an easy road for them to learn to trust me again, I was willing to wait and do everything they needed for them to trust me again.

Take this as a first step from your dad, he has to earn your trust by actions not only words, if you are both willing to take those steps you could have a good relationship to share with your son.

HUGS
 
Thank you for the advice and concern from everyone. It is very nice and much appreciated. I have also received quite a PM's and I will respond as soon as I have time. I am processing everything and will put the puzzle together as we go.

I think my dog is acting out because she isn't receiving as much attention as of late. Between the throw up that smelled like cat shit, the shit and piss on the carpet that she hasn't done in a year or so and the eating of some beef jerky that my mom brought up from Texas I have a feeling she is trying to let me know something.

That poor boy is hung like his daddy but good lord you could mistake his nut sack as a bowling ball bag. No wonder why he can only sleep on his back. Otherwise his balls would bruise his heart.
 
I want to go back in time and punch Marty McFly in the twat. Michael J Fox being cool doing a guitar riff and acting like Tony Hawk is unbelievable, even in the movies.
 
Last edited:
I have been at the park playing touch football......

I had a great touchdown dance planned.........

The only problem is I never got to the end zone......
 
I only went to the winery to exchange a bottle I bought before, but it was leaking. I ended up buying 6 more bottles! Damn those free taste testing counters!
 
That explains a lot.

I must be missing something.

It's not my place to decide where your bar is set.
 
i shower in the nude
i've never met a famous person
i should probably charge my cell phone

freebie: a few days ago, i think i saw someone mention the troubles they were having with the chat feature here. :: smiling at my little secret project. ::
 
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